St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
And it wasn't always about money and women. Except when it was always about money women. Honor. Trust. These are the two basic rules we live by.
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GM's thread about nothing (20 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I'm going to put an icepack on my knee and pass out.Just beer hereI'm sipping straight vodka. I keep the bottle in my freezer so I don't have ice cubes getting in the way. Normally I have some olives and olive juice in there too, but tonight, no.My son usually wakes up around 7 and naps from about noon to 2-ish. Today he woke up at 8:30 (not so bad with the time change), but then slept from 1-4 and still went down at 7:30. Daddy likes his sleep on the weekends so I think he's taking a page out of my book.####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft () to occupy his mind. I need another drink.
About that drink.....
Love you buddy.
strykerpks
Footballguy
Hope your leg doesn't fall off, GB.I think you missed my Beerhole post before. Gimme a call sometime this week and we'll talk.I'm going to put an icepack on my knee and pass out.
T Bell
Footballguy
My mother didn't have me (her oldest) until she was 28, which was old for that generation. Her mother didn't have her until she was 40, which was super-ancient.St. Louis Bob said:I'm going to put an icepack on my knee and pass out.strykerpks said:Just beer hereT Bell said:I'm sipping straight vodka. I keep the bottle in my freezer so I don't have ice cubes getting in the way. Normally I have some olives and olive juice in there too, but tonight, no.strykerpks said:My son usually wakes up around 7 and naps from about noon to 2-ish. Today he woke up at 8:30 (not so bad with the time change), but then slept from 1-4 and still went down at 7:30. Daddy likes his sleep on the weekends so I think he's taking a page out of my book.T Bell said:####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft (
About that drink.....
I say all of this because I remember begging Grandma Alice to take me bowling when I was really young, like 7 or so, and she and her arthritic hands did it just for me, and I'm sure she paid for it for days afterward. If my math's correct she was north of 75 years old at the time.
You remind me of my Grandma Alice, Bob. You and your ice.
RIP Grandma Alice. RIP Bob's knee.
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krista4
Footballguy
I posted this picture on FB, but I've said here before that if I were competing in a newly created gold-medal event, I would go with either parallel parking or packing.
I give you Exhibit A.
I give you Exhibit A.
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
shuke said:If only they made cars that worked in the rain.Abraham said:It just started pouring and I only have 3 beers and a regular sized bottle of wine to get me through the night.
Guster
Footballguy
So did you park your car in like that or was it parked and the other cars crowded you in? Because if you squeezed into that spot then wow
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
That's impressive. Do your wheels turn sideways or something?
I'm terrible at PP. It will take me like 5 minutes to get into a space a bus could fit in and when I get out, the front of my car will be angled so that it's about 8 feet from the curb.
When you grow up in a rural area and then live in the suburbs all your life, PP is kind of a pointless skill.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Abraham
Footballguy
As a note, I shattered the back window of my explorer last night as I unloaded some wood for a garden.
http://tinypic.com/r/anmuc0/8
http://tinypic.com/r/anmuc0/8
T Bell
Footballguy
I think I see the problem. You tried hauling all of the wood at once rather than one piece at a time.
Sammy3469
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
No, the biggest problem was he tried to slam the window shut with lumber sticking out the back of the tailgate.
T Bell
Footballguy
We obviously have multiple errors conspiring together and compounding the tragedy. It's a little overwhelming.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
We held one of our Relay for Life fundraisers yesterday at a local bar. Bar owner donated a couple of trips as door prizes. I won a trip to Hawaii. After looking over the details/restrictions of this trip I've come to the conclusion that it cost me only slightly less than if I planned/booked a trip to Hawaii myself. I'm hoping I'm wrong about this.
mr roboto
Footballguy
Mist have been terrorists. No other possible explanation.
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Rude> can I get mod powers in the True Detective thread?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Saturday night is a bit of a blur for me, with bits and pieces embedded in my memory. Went to the Portland Timbers home opener with my ex-BIL and by the time we made it to our seats, I was probably 8 beers and several tokes into the night. I kept the pace up all game long as it was cold and wet and I figured the best course of action was to warm myself internally with more beer.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why, I was not in the stadium when the Timbers scored the tying goal. I think I was outside bumming smokes and passing my pipe around to strangers like I was an Indian trying to make peace with settlers. By the time my BIL exited the stadium and found me, I was lit up like a Tokyo skyscraper and swaying back and forth to an invisible band. We attempted to follow a large crowd of revelers into a bar across the street - a bar we were at before the game. I was politely asked not to come inside.
BIL and I decide to head back to our side of town but instead of going home, we think the neighborhood strip club is a good option. I've tried like hell to avoid this place over the last year and change, but in my state of mind, I would have agreed to just about anything. Channeling my very best SLB, I was able to get us into the place without paying a cover and despite the fact that I was not welcome at a bar near the stadium, this place welcomed me with open arms. And why wouldn't they? A drunk GM is a money dropping GM.
The club has a back patio with heat lamps and pool tables. It's a great place to mingle and bum smokes from the strippers. Also not a bad place to find a stripper who would very much like to join you for some video poker action. In fact, I would say it is probably the VERY best place in the world to meet a stripper who wants to join you in some video poker using your money, hitting a straight flush, printing the winning ticket out of the machine for several hundred dollars and then promising to cash it out right after her set with an even stronger promise to make sure I get my half of the loot.
I think you all know where this is going. Said stripper who hit a straight flush, printed out the winning ticket and hurried off to the dressing room but never emerged to dance her set. In fact, she never emerged again. My BIL said he had to go home. "Go home", I told him. "I'll walk home later. This girl has a big winning ticket and will give me the cash just as soon as she gets done with her set. She PROMISED me this". He leaves. I stay. It's getting late. I'm watching the dressing room like there's a fugitive inside and I'm her bounty hunter. I begin to ask questions from other strippers and the bartender....but I don't know her name. I try to describe her to the bartender...."Uh, she's wearing a short skirt, has dirty blonde hair, a few tattoos, really big boobs"......bartender says "Honey, you just described every girl in this place". Before long, it was last call for alcohol. Soon the lights were coming on. My phone is full of texts from my wife asking where I am. I have a mile and half walk home. In the rain. Without my cut of the loot.
I'm ready for the Mike Mills story now, Tanner.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why, I was not in the stadium when the Timbers scored the tying goal. I think I was outside bumming smokes and passing my pipe around to strangers like I was an Indian trying to make peace with settlers. By the time my BIL exited the stadium and found me, I was lit up like a Tokyo skyscraper and swaying back and forth to an invisible band. We attempted to follow a large crowd of revelers into a bar across the street - a bar we were at before the game. I was politely asked not to come inside.
BIL and I decide to head back to our side of town but instead of going home, we think the neighborhood strip club is a good option. I've tried like hell to avoid this place over the last year and change, but in my state of mind, I would have agreed to just about anything. Channeling my very best SLB, I was able to get us into the place without paying a cover and despite the fact that I was not welcome at a bar near the stadium, this place welcomed me with open arms. And why wouldn't they? A drunk GM is a money dropping GM.
The club has a back patio with heat lamps and pool tables. It's a great place to mingle and bum smokes from the strippers. Also not a bad place to find a stripper who would very much like to join you for some video poker action. In fact, I would say it is probably the VERY best place in the world to meet a stripper who wants to join you in some video poker using your money, hitting a straight flush, printing the winning ticket out of the machine for several hundred dollars and then promising to cash it out right after her set with an even stronger promise to make sure I get my half of the loot.
I think you all know where this is going. Said stripper who hit a straight flush, printed out the winning ticket and hurried off to the dressing room but never emerged to dance her set. In fact, she never emerged again. My BIL said he had to go home. "Go home", I told him. "I'll walk home later. This girl has a big winning ticket and will give me the cash just as soon as she gets done with her set. She PROMISED me this". He leaves. I stay. It's getting late. I'm watching the dressing room like there's a fugitive inside and I'm her bounty hunter. I begin to ask questions from other strippers and the bartender....but I don't know her name. I try to describe her to the bartender...."Uh, she's wearing a short skirt, has dirty blonde hair, a few tattoos, really big boobs"......bartender says "Honey, you just described every girl in this place".
Before long, it was last call for alcohol. Soon the lights were coming on. My phone is full of texts from my wife asking where I am. I have a mile and half walk home. In the rain. Without my cut of the loot.I'm ready for the Mike Mills story now, Tanner.
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T Bell
Footballguy
You should have returned to the video poker machine as you had a higher chance of hitting a straight flush (again) than you did of ever seeing her again.Saturday night is a bit of a blur for me, with bits and pieces embedded in my memory. Went to the Portland Timbers home opener with my ex-BIL and by the time we made it to our seats, I was probably 8 beers and several tokes into the night. I kept the pace up all game long as it was cold and wet and I figured the best course of action was to warm myself internally with more beer.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why, I was not in the stadium when the Timbers scored the tying goal. I think I was outside bumming smokes and passing my pipe around to strangers like I was an Indian trying to make peace with settlers. By the time my BIL exited the stadium and found me, I was lit up like a Tokyo skyscraper and swaying back and forth to an invisible band. We attempted to follow a large crowd of revelers into a bar across the street - a bar we were at before the game. I was politely asked not to come inside.
BIL and I decide to head back to our side of town but instead of going home, we think the neighborhood strip club is a good option. I've tried like hell to avoid this place over the last year and change, but in my state of mind, I would have agreed to just about anything. Channeling my very best SLB, I was able to get us into the place without paying a cover and despite the fact that I was not welcome at a bar near the stadium, this place welcomed me with open arms. And why wouldn't they? A drunk GM is a money dropping GM.
The club has a back patio with heat lamps and pool tables. It's a great place to mingle and bum smokes from the strippers. Also not a bad place to find a stripper who would very much like to join you for some video poker action. In fact, I would say it is probably the VERY best place in the world to meet a stripper who wants to join you in some video poker using your money, hitting a straight flush, printing the winning ticket out of the machine for several hundred dollars and then promising to cash it out right after her set with an even stronger promise to make sure I get my half of the loot.
I think you all know where this is going. Said stripper who hit a straight flush, printed out the winning ticket and hurried off to the dressing room but never emerged to dance her set. In fact, she never emerged again. My BIL said he had to go home. "Go home", I told him. "I'll walk home later. This girl has a big winning ticket and will give me the cash just as soon as she gets done with her set. She PROMISED me this". He leaves. I stay. It's getting late. I'm watching the dressing room like there's a fugitive inside and I'm her bounty hunter. I begin to ask questions from other strippers and the bartender....but I don't know her name. I try to describe her to the bartender...."Uh, she's wearing a short skirt, has dirty blonde hair, a few tattoos, really big boobs"......bartender says "Honey, you just described every girl in this place".
I'm ready for the Mike Mills story now, Tanner.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
That "Gruden QB Camp" thing really weirds me the #### out.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
I have a buddy who works in the ticket office. I usually can get decent deals on tickets for games that aren't considered "Premium" games. I'm pretty sure this will be a Premium game, but I'm going to work him anyway. I'll see him on Saturday for our Fantasy Baseball draft, if I could get a possible head count and for what games, that would help.strykerpks said:
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St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
This is what I had;strykerpks said:
[SIZE=7.5pt]Mr & Mrs. Stryker[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Uruk[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Guster[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Mr. Pack[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Tre[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Me & Mrs. SLB[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Homer Jay Simpson[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Thorn[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]<maybe>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Mr & Mrs. Frosty [/SIZE]
[SIZE=7.5pt]Rude[/SIZE]
krista4
Footballguy
Squeezed in. There was a guy in a Prius waiting for the spot as I guess he was sure I wouldn't get in there. Screw that guy.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
That sucks but you are still batting .500 in the Whores With a Heart of Gold category. That's more impressive than winning the Triple Crown.Saturday night is a bit of a blur for me, with bits and pieces embedded in my memory. Went to the Portland Timbers home opener with my ex-BIL and by the time we made it to our seats, I was probably 8 beers and several tokes into the night. I kept the pace up all game long as it was cold and wet and I figured the best course of action was to warm myself internally with more beer.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why, I was not in the stadium when the Timbers scored the tying goal. I think I was outside bumming smokes and passing my pipe around to strangers like I was an Indian trying to make peace with settlers. By the time my BIL exited the stadium and found me, I was lit up like a Tokyo skyscraper and swaying back and forth to an invisible band. We attempted to follow a large crowd of revelers into a bar across the street - a bar we were at before the game. I was politely asked not to come inside.
BIL and I decide to head back to our side of town but instead of going home, we think the neighborhood strip club is a good option. I've tried like hell to avoid this place over the last year and change, but in my state of mind, I would have agreed to just about anything. Channeling my very best SLB, I was able to get us into the place without paying a cover and despite the fact that I was not welcome at a bar near the stadium, this place welcomed me with open arms. And why wouldn't they? A drunk GM is a money dropping GM.
The club has a back patio with heat lamps and pool tables. It's a great place to mingle and bum smokes from the strippers. Also not a bad place to find a stripper who would very much like to join you for some video poker action. In fact, I would say it is probably the VERY best place in the world to meet a stripper who wants to join you in some video poker using your money, hitting a straight flush, printing the winning ticket out of the machine for several hundred dollars and then promising to cash it out right after her set with an even stronger promise to make sure I get my half of the loot.
I think you all know where this is going. Said stripper who hit a straight flush, printed out the winning ticket and hurried off to the dressing room but never emerged to dance her set. In fact, she never emerged again. My BIL said he had to go home. "Go home", I told him. "I'll walk home later. This girl has a big winning ticket and will give me the cash just as soon as she gets done with her set. She PROMISED me this". He leaves. I stay. It's getting late. I'm watching the dressing room like there's a fugitive inside and I'm her bounty hunter. I begin to ask questions from other strippers and the bartender....but I don't know her name. I try to describe her to the bartender...."Uh, she's wearing a short skirt, has dirty blonde hair, a few tattoos, really big boobs"......bartender says "Honey, you just described every girl in this place".
I'm ready for the Mike Mills story now, Tanner.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that either, but I've grown to like it. For the car I wanted on the day I was looking, there were two in the Atlanta region--both gold. ATL not really big on Subarus.
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I'm pretty sure something used my spine like a xylophone while I asleep last night. I don't feel so hot.
Sorry about the drunk posting last night. I'm just glad I left a lot out. 
Sorry about the drunk posting last night.
I'm just glad I left a lot out.
T Bell
Footballguy
T Bell
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
I'm sorry. No way do I believe that was parallel parked without some paint rubbin'
krista4
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
wait? you already have a subaru? and i will challenge you to a park off anytime!!
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I just asked Mrs. SLB that in lieu of me taking some drugs, perhaps she could just rub my penis for me. She replies "Whiskey and getting you penis rubbed, pretty much your solution to everything isn't it?".
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Also skeptical. :/
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