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GM's thread about nothing (21 Viewers)

Way back, when Johnny Carson hosted the tonight show, (back when I stayed up past 8:30) he used to have a line that reminds me of this thread today.

Sometimes when something weird was going on with a guest or with Ed or maybe with some comedy bit Carson would look over at Ed or Fred De Cordova (the producer) and he would say:

"Could you image if there was some drunk out there who just tuned into the show right now?"

 
And not to interrupt the Shelbypalooza but I just got new student today...he's from Canada.

His last name is something French with like 3 silent letters and....he has a mullet.

0% shtick

 
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The boys are on Spring Break since Mrs. SLB is working, that gives me the mornings to spend with them. So lucky them, they get to go on my walk. We maybe did 3 miles today. What sucks is there is tons of construction so going on around us so a lot of sidewalks have been removed. The only option is to walk in the grass on certain stretches to get around the construction.

Now this is no big deal when it's dry but suxor when it's wet. Or when your youngest son is with you and despite telling him three times, he won't listen and stay the #### away from the road. Not five minutes after I told him the third time, he's back walking on the curb. Then he falls, on his feet, but into the street. The "shoulder" is about 18 whole inches. Oh and there are cars coming. Thankfully the car was paying attention and went to weave out of the way and I grabbed him by the coat and yanked him to safety.

I'm still holding his coat and very sternly talking to him about listening to me and how he almost got really hurt or worse because he didn't. We're close to a stop light and there are 6-7 cars right next to us now and it occurs to me that this probably doesn't look good but I needed to put the fear of Bob into my son. Plus I looked a lot like the Unibomber which surely isn't helping how some might perceive the situation. That's when Estelle Costanza pulls up and begins honking her horn and waving her finger at me. I walk over to her passenger door and give her the universal sign for "roll your window down" so I can at least explain to this broad what happened. Instead of rolling the window down, she decided to give me the finger. :mellow: I'm not going to get into it with some stupid whore so I just yell "go #### yourself #####" gave her a hand wave and walked away with the boys and dog. She was brave enough to honk a couple of more times but I didn't give her the satisfaction of turning around to acknowledge her.

I hate some people.
You mooned her, right?
I figured I had about a 50/50 shot of some cop pulling up so I figured it would be better to ignore the ####. However she was driving this really tiny car. It looked like I could flip the thing on its side if I wanted to.

Fax your son to me and I'll beat him for you.
If you remember from my hot air balloon story, I told the boys to go to my right. Cal did, Dylan went the other way. I was pissed and scared to death. ####er has too much "I'll do whatever I want" in him. He gets that from his mother.

 
I'll be back to read the rest of what I missed today. I'm at the office and need whiskey. I'm punching myself in the liver because I went to get a salad at 4 this afternoon and they were handing out free sample shots of whiskey at the grocery store. However I had a meeting and stuff to do. FML

 

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