GM's thread about nothing (26 Viewers)

[Drifter]

We're all queers, Jack. All queers.

We're all queers, Jack. All queers.

We're all queers, Jack. All queers.

Slave name double tap!!!!!

Neat board

Oh yeah. And this

If that Sid Vicious guy was any good he'd still be singing

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

That's the way I like it.

 

[FDAS]

Wat

 

[Drifter]

Wat

Start with a shot and this Let's talk in an hour

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Bumbershoots

Pretty sure the earth has reset itself on the correct axis.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I have a chainsaw.

Can I borrow it? I'm one of very few white guys that does my own lawn care in SoCal. I need to prune and shape the hell out of that pepper tree I mentioned earlier

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I DIDN'T HAVE CRABS!!!

s'ok GB.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

TOEWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now phonetically type that. Wtf?

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I don't even know what a chigger is. Sounds kinda racist.

It is a woodland mite found in dry climate like Arkansas, Texas, or krista's wake. The only way to get them off of your balls is to suffocate them by applying clear fingernail polish to the affected region. Preferably not when you are in third grade, coming home from camp, and your mother is the only person who can help.

Used to get them every summer growing up from peeing in the woods behind our house. I have nightmares about the finger polish being applied by my mother.

Sorry for the hippling, but what the ####? Seriously? Your mother had to paint your shukles because you peed in the woods? You sure there wasn't some sort of fapping going on? And how old we're you that you couldn't lather up your own nuts? Unreal

 

[Drifter]

Wat

Start with a shot and this Let's talk in an hour

This is why one of the reasons my wife gets mad at me. I have a few whiskeys and next thing you know I'm watching 35 year old Sex Pistols concerts on YouTube until 2 in the morning.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I have a sweet story of not being in charge of anything but having the appearance of being really important when inxs played at the end of the love ride at universal studios. Circa 1988 or so. All the Harley's rode into the Ben hur set and the lights went out and inxs busts out "never tear us apart". Some whoooore thought boning me would get her closer to Michael Hutchins. Didn't work out for her. Worked for me. and the whole time we were making god cringe, some dudes Harley was on fire, burning to the ground. Helped distract everyone from my histrionics.

 

[Josie Maran]

I have a sweet story of not being in charge of anything but having the appearance of being really important when inxs played at the end of the love ride at universal studios. Circa 1988 or so. All the Harley's rode into the Ben hur set and the lights went out and inxs busts out "never tear us apart". Some whoooore thought boning me would get her closer to Michael Hutchins. Didn't work out for her. Worked for me. and the whole time we were making god cringe, some dudes Harley was on fire, burning to the ground. Helped distract everyone from my histrionics.

:like:

 

[Guster]

Chiggers and weed quiche aside, I mentioned a few weeks ago that some serious #### went down at my work and has had a profound impact on me. I think I know a lot of you already know this, but consider the time with your family to be the most precious and above all else.

Anything we can do to help, GB? You and Shuke are too good and too nice to get ball kicks from life.

I actually thought the FBG Paint Brigade at shuke's was a great idea.

Os, hang in there my friend. There are a ton of good folks here that may be able to help with whatever you have going on. I've been the beneficiary of it personally.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Morning, friends

 

[Abraham]

Hello.

 

[Guster]

She was black (still is, I guess)

 

[Josie Maran]

Going job hunting in a little while. Need my devilish charm and boyish good looks to really shine through...or is it boyish charm and devilish good looks?

Either way I really really don't feel like doing this, so pray for me. Plus, it'll be a damn miracle if I can go to 25 bars today and not be hammered.

 

[kevzilla]

I'm sorry I missed Nostalgia Lane last night.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Whoa. A little too much horseradish in that bloody mary!

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Going job hunting in a little while. Need my devilish charm and boyish good looks to really shine through...or is it boyish charm and devilish good looks?

Either way I really really don't feel like doing this, so pray for me. Plus, it'll be a damn miracle if I can go to 25 bars today and not be hammered.

Good luck, GB. You still on LI?

 

[Josie Maran]

Going job hunting in a little while. Need my devilish charm and boyish good looks to really shine through...or is it boyish charm and devilish good looks?

Either way I really really don't feel like doing this, so pray for me. Plus, it'll be a damn miracle if I can go to 25 bars today and not be hammered.

Good luck, GB. You still on LI?

Yup.

 

[Guster]

My kid: Daddy, have you seen my privates yet today?

Me: um, no...

My kid: <big smiles> it's like a world record

I'm in for trouble as she gets older

 

[Annyong]

Wat?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

My kid: Daddy, have you seen my privates yet today?

Me: um, no...

My kid: <big smiles> it's like a world record

I'm in for trouble as she gets older

 

[Guster]

Wat?

My daughter is allergic to clothes and often walks around naked.

She didn't this morning and found it noteworthy.

I'm glad that she has a positive body image and she knows not to do this sort of thing in public, but am not looking forward to her having this level of comfort as she grows into her sexuality down the road

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Wat?

My daughter is allergic to clothes and often walks around naked.

She didn't this morning and found it noteworthy.

I'm glad that she has a positive body image and she knows not to do this sort of thing in public, but am not looking forward to her having this level of comfort as she grows into her sexuality down the road

Better that, GB, than a screwed up body image that'll have her all messed up down the line.

When I met my 2nd wife, she had a daughter who was 8 and tiny for her age. The girl would cry often because she was so much smaller than her friends and some of them would make fun of her for being so small. I remember her mom and I telling her "just you wait; those same kids are going to be jealous of you in a few years". Not long before her mom & I split up, she was 15 and still short/slender - if she was 5' and as much as 90 lbs, I'm lying - I was floored when she told me as I was driving her to some event or another (paraphrasing) "you & mom were right; all Jenna does is complain that she can't fit into her clothes". I say "floored" because, as much as you want to think kids listen to you, you don't always believe it. Some of that #### sticks, though. Probably more than you would think.

 

[Henry Ford]

I thought I'd gained a bunch of weight back that I'd lost.

Today I put on a pair of jeans I bought after I lost the 45-50 lbs. I can't make them stay on without a belt. It appears my expectations are just getting higher.

 

[YSR]

Looks like I came to Kansas City right as they're gearing up for a tornado. Not sure I can blame k4 for this one, so I'll just attribute it to lunch with SLB yesterday.

 

[Josie Maran]

Looks like I came to Kansas City right as they're gearing up for a tornado. Not sure I can blame k4 for this one, so I'll just attribute it to lunch with SLB yesterday.

It was nice having you around.

 

[Josie Maran]

"Hey Roger. Go take some euphoria and rape the data journal."

 

[Annyong]

Wat?

My daughter is allergic to clothes and often walks around naked. She didn't this morning and found it noteworthy.

I'm glad that she has a positive body image and she knows not to do this sort of thing in public, but am not looking forward to her having this level of comfort as she grows into her sexuality down the road

That's for the explanation

 

[Guster]

Oh and just in case anyone was wondering, my dad says that withdrawal from morphine is a #####

 

[bentley]

Good news - AC repair bill will be under $500.

Bad news - they may not have all the parts until Monday.

 

[Henry Ford]

Good news - AC repair bill will be under $500.

Bad news - they may not have all the parts until Monday.

Celebrate paying off the loan with a night at a cheap motel.

 

[Henry Ford]

Or - I believe strongly every homeowner should have at least one crappy window unit lying around for this situation. Buy one off craigslist.

 

[Frostillicus]

Apparently bumper to bumper warranty means something very different to me than to the car dealer.

 

[strykerpks]

Bently > In a pinch?

 

[YSR]

bentley> Pink Pants et al are at a house on Lake Austin this weekend. I'm sure they'd let you bunk there (there's a spare room since I couldn't go).

 

[Josie Maran]

Bently > In a pinch?

THAT'S MAH BUCKIT!!!

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Twas 3 long years after the first boob-feel that our hero finally got laid. I was washing dishes at a local eatery and we had a group trip on the day we were closed to King's Dominion (now 6 Flags, I think) near Richmond. One of the other dishwashers brought this chick with him. Somehow, she latched onto me at the park (her date, in retrospect, was gay as a $3 bill but I didn't get the whole dynamic back then) and we did several rides together. When we got back, she gave me her phone #. As many here can attest, I'm as pasty and square as Hank Hill. She was black (still is, I guess) and 4 years older than I ( later found out she missed the '76 Olympic sprint team on the last cut).

Fast forward to summer 1977. We had worked out that I would go to "work" a night I was off when - plot twist! - I was going to a concert with fast-chick to see KC & The Sunshine Band at the old Cap Centre outside of DC. Her sister and sister's boyfriend were accompanying us. Sister's BF drove a '75 Caddy - yep, whitewalls and a gangster-lean. Anyway, we somehow got separated on the floor - this was the days when general admission was still in play - and I got robbed by three dudes. I had all of $3 and a pack of cigs on me (of which they gave half back to me - nice thugs).

Aside: right after I got robbed, some huge dude with a cut-off jean jacket who looked like Aaron Neville but spoke like James Earl Jones came up to me and said "Man, why you let yourself get taken like that?". I said" Can you SEE me? And why didn't you help?". We smoked a joint and discussed how to save the world. Not really on that last part - Jimmy Castor was on then.

Anyway, I probably would've gotten laid anyway but me getting robbed sealed the deal. When we got back close to my place, fast-sister and her BF fell asleep at the end of my driveway and proto-FloJo ####ed my brains out. In part to this:

I would FloJo your brains out to that song too

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Oh and just in case anyone was wondering, my dad says that withdrawal from morphine is a #####

Yeah....hi-five him for me. Worse than quitting alcohol, nicotine, coke, or caffeine. I got on that #### a couple of years ago to offset the chemo side-effects, though my ride wasn't doctor-approved. Screw me running, that stuff - or the lack thereof - was the worst.

 

[Gadzooks]

I'm sorry I missed Nostalgia Lane last night.

The first time I almost had sex was at an 8th grade party while listening to "Wait" by White Lion. Lots of finger blasting (hi Guster) and I got a handy but no sex. The irony of that song playing was not lost on me.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Twas 3 long years after the first boob-feel that our hero finally got laid. I was washing dishes at a local eatery and we had a group trip on the day we were closed to King's Dominion (now 6 Flags, I think) near Richmond. One of the other dishwashers brought this chick with him. Somehow, she latched onto me at the park (her date, in retrospect, was gay as a $3 bill but I didn't get the whole dynamic back then) and we did several rides together. When we got back, she gave me her phone #. As many here can attest, I'm as pasty and square as Hank Hill. She was black (still is, I guess) and 4 years older than I ( later found out she missed the '76 Olympic sprint team on the last cut).

Fast forward to summer 1977. We had worked out that I would go to "work" a night I was off when - plot twist! - I was going to a concert with fast-chick to see KC & The Sunshine Band at the old Cap Centre outside of DC. Her sister and sister's boyfriend were accompanying us. Sister's BF drove a '75 Caddy - yep, whitewalls and a gangster-lean. Anyway, we somehow got separated on the floor - this was the days when general admission was still in play - and I got robbed by three dudes. I had all of $3 and a pack of cigs on me (of which they gave half back to me - nice thugs).

Aside: right after I got robbed, some huge dude with a cut-off jean jacket who looked like Aaron Neville but spoke like James Earl Jones came up to me and said "Man, why you let yourself get taken like that?". I said" Can you SEE me? And why didn't you help?". We smoked a joint and discussed how to save the world. Not really on that last part - Jimmy Castor was on then.

Anyway, I probably would've gotten laid anyway but me getting robbed sealed the deal. When we got back close to my place, fast-sister and her BF fell asleep at the end of my driveway and proto-FloJo ####ed my brains out. In part to this:

 

[belljr]

Metal mania on vh1...so good

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

There should be a restaurant where they serve food on pancakes instead of plates

Whoa.

Go to an authentic Ethiopian place. They essentially do.

 

[bentley]

bentley> Pink Pants et al are at a house on Lake Austin this weekend. I'm sure they'd let you bunk there (there's a spare room since I couldn't go).

Dammit. The repair guy just left and all is good. Maybe I can take a hammer to the outside unit.

What is the best method of Facebook stalking photos from this weekend?

 

[krista4]

You guys playing cards?

I remember trying to get into the pants of a preacher's daughter who had the hots for a young, preppy drifter during Terrance Trent's D'Arby's Wishing Well

I still like that song.

No actual screwage but what Cosjobs and Krista would call "heavy petting". I don't think I washed finger for 2 days.

Now you wait just a second there, young feller.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Looks like I came to Kansas City right as they're gearing up for a tornado. Not sure I can blame k4 for this one, so I'll just attribute it to lunch with SLB yesterday.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

There should be a restaurant where they serve food on pancakes instead of plates

Whoa.

Go to an authentic Ethiopian place. They essentially do.

I'm staying at K4's house in Ethiopia next month.

 

[krista4]

There should be a restaurant where they serve food on pancakes instead of plates

Whoa.

Go to an authentic Ethiopian place. They essentially do.

I'm staying at K4's house in Ethiopia next month.

There should be a restaurant where they serve food on pancakes instead of plates

Whoa.

Go to an authentic Ethiopian place. They essentially do.

I'm staying at K4's house in Ethiopia next month.

Our staff doesn't home-make the injera.