3. Almost everything on TV sucks.
6. I hope little YSR is doing better. :(
9. Butthole shtick makes me long for the comedic stylings of Ray Jay Johnson. I thought most of you people were better than this.
Speaking of buttholes though, I took Dylan to the doctor today because he has been complaining that his stomach hurts for a couple of weeks now. I was worried it had something to do with the baseball bat he took to the gut a couple of months ago but after an x-ray, and a finger up his butt, that isn't the case. Thank baby Jesus. A nurse just called to tell me the problem though. He has something called "Slow Pockets". He basically has gaps or something in his intestines causing him pain. I just Loogled and nothing came up so maybe she's just ####### with me.
Anyhow, the conversation went like this.
*ring*
Me: Hello?
Person on other end: Is this Dylan's dad?
Me: Lots of Dylans around here. Did this Dylan do something wrong?
Person on other end: This is Mary from Dr. Lubeyfinger's office.
Me: Oh, hello Mary!
Mary: The x-ray shows Dylan has Slow Pockets, it isn't anything to worry about but we can see why he has pain now.
Me: That's a relief!
Mary: Would you describe Dylan as active?
Me: Yes, we walk 2-5 miles every morning. Well I walk he usually runs the entire thing. Is that bad?
Mary: No, exercise is good. That helps.
Me: Okay.
Mary: Fresh fruit will help him too.
Me: He eats fresh fruit every single day. I should buy a fruit stand.
Mary: Great!
Mary: He should stay away from carbs though.
Me: I can't get him to eat ANY pasta and if I make him a sandwich, he'll only eat the meat and leave the bread on the plate. He does like waffles in the morning though.
Mary: Okay, we need to cut that out. Does he drink a lot of soda or sugary drinks?
Me: He has never had a soda in his life. He usually drinks milk with his meals and water the rest of the time.
Mary: Lets cut out milk for now then.
Me: Okay....
Mary: Okay, great! Let's make these changes and see what happens!
Me:

Alright, thanks Mary!