Gold Bond (1 Viewer)

[pollardsvision]

I cant believe after posting in this thread 3 years ago, it still never occurred to me to go back into the shower to apply the GB when Im pretty sure I read both the posts saying that. I still walk into the bedroom when Im ready for the powder time because the carpet is easier to vacuum than the tile bathroom. From now on, never again!!

Yeah, it's taken me a while to come to reasonable application procedures too.

Now, I've settled on 2 (I don't like the shower as my wife is a fall risk getting in and out and I don't want to make it more slippery).

1-Straddle the toilet. I ain't pretty, but it's very effective, quick, and doesn't create a mess.

2-If I'm in the mood to let it fly a bit, I'll throw a towel down on the ground. Fold it carefully and just keep it reserved as a GB towel.

 

[John Bender]

Putting on the green bottle right after a shower is akin to lying spread eagle in front of a fan pelting hail stones from an arctic circle right at your taint.

Best feeling every but hurts like a #####.

 

[ragincajun]

Feel your pain. Shower is a genius idea. I have pulled muscles before in application.

******GAMECHANGER******

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

I cant believe after posting in this thread 3 years ago, it still never occurred to me to go back into the shower to apply the GB when Im pretty sure I read both the posts saying that. I still walk into the bedroom when Im ready for the powder time because the carpet is easier to vacuum than the tile bathroom. From now on, never again!!

Yeah, it's taken me a while to come to reasonable application procedures too.Now, I've settled on 2 (I don't like the shower as my wife is a fall risk getting in and out and I don't want to make it more slippery).

1-Straddle the toilet. I ain't pretty, but it's very effective, quick, and doesn't create a mess.

2-If I'm in the mood to let it fly a bit, I'll throw a towel down on the ground. Fold it carefully and just keep it reserved as a GB towel.

Rinse the shower out real quick.

 

[ChrisCooleyFan]

Because Im lazy and didnt read page one. Anyone try the spray?

 

[mr. furley]

fellas, if you have chafing from the heat/humidity slather on some Aquaphor. cools, soothes and heals.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

As a bartender, this stuff is indespinsible.

 

[Billy Bats]

I will just say make sure any area is dry. I have never felt a pain like that before.

I think you're doing it wrong. Nothing feels better & fresher than a pat of Gold Bond under the scrotum after a shower.

what problem is this solving?

I'm not getting this either. Crotch rot? WTF? I never have a problem down there.

Never worn jeans and worked outside is 95 degrees and 90% humidity I see. Doesn't matter how much you paid for your undies when working in that kind of soup.

 

[mr roboto]

I will just say make sure any area is dry. I have never felt a pain like that before.

I think you're doing it wrong. Nothing feels better & fresher than a pat of Gold Bond under the scrotum after a shower.

what problem is this solving?

I'm not getting this either. Crotch rot? WTF? I never have a problem down there.

Never worn jeans and worked outside is 95 degrees and 90% humidity I see. Doesn't matter how much you paid for your undies when working in that kind of soup.

I have, and I've never had this debilitating rot of the crotch. :shrugs:

 

[rizzler]

GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After reading, and dying laughing going thru this thread, I finally took the plunge to Gold Bond.

Growing up, Gold Bond was for old people who stunk or who had **** problems... Well, Im 31 now and Ive stepped into the real world, and swamp ### and chaffing is the real deal. I bit the bullet and went to the local wal mart and got my a large container of the GREEN POWDER, referred to here on out as "taint gold"

Taking all your suggestions into account (years of your trial and error) I created what I believe to be the perfect application process.

1) Shower

2) Towel off

3) using my girlfiend's Ion Blowdryer on the "cold" setting, crouch down like a backcatch, and blow warp speed air at my taint area (dried in seconds)

4) toss one foot up on the opposit side of the bathtub rim, crouch slightly enough to open my crack fully, and pour light amounts of powder on right hand, then directly to entire booty crack and my entire sack (being sure to protect my sausage with my left hand)

5) wash hands thoroughly.

I have never been happier, and find an extra pep in my step. My ### feels great, and I owe it all to ### gold.

Im 31 years old, and have a midget living in my pants, rubbing mint leaves on my booty slit all day - and I LOVE IT

 

[Homer J Simpson]

 

[Andrew74]

 

[strykerpks]

'Murica!!

 

[Billy Bats]

'Murica!!

#### YEAHHHH

Congrats Rizzler!! Welcome to soothing relief!

 

[matuski]

Holy hell

 

[Zow]

Never tried the real stuff, but the friction defense has been money for the inner thighs during sports given my post-marriage weight gain.

 

[beer 302]

Being a cheap ******* I've discovered the Equate brand at Walmart or the Dollar store version is just as good and much cheaper. Big fan

 

[pollardsvision]

Congrats rizzler.

 

[rizzler]

URGENT

After dropping a deuce, what do you guys do?

Reapply?

Thx

 

[beer 302]

URGENT

After dropping a deuce, what do you guys do?

Reapply?

Thx

Pretty sure you're doing it wrong if you are asking this question. Might want some preparation H instead.

 

[rizzler]

URGENT

After dropping a deuce, what do you guys do?

Reapply?

Thx

Pretty sure you're doing it wrong if you are asking this question. Might want some preparation H instead.

I wipe with TP first, then a 'wetnap' second for extra cleanliness..

Im a bit of a cleanfreak w my god like body...

I reapplied anyways... I figure twice a day is proper.

 

[Major]

GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After reading, and dying laughing going thru this thread, I finally took the plunge to Gold Bond.

Growing up, Gold Bond was for old people who stunk or who had **** problems... Well, Im 31 now and Ive stepped into the real world, and swamp ### and chaffing is the real deal. I bit the bullet and went to the local wal mart and got my a large container of the GREEN POWDER, referred to here on out as "taint gold"

Taking all your suggestions into account (years of your trial and error) I created what I believe to be the perfect application process.

1) Shower

2) Towel off

3) using my girlfiend's Ion Blowdryer on the "cold" setting, crouch down like a backcatch, and blow warp speed air at my taint area (dried in seconds)

4) toss one foot up on the opposit side of the bathtub rim, crouch slightly enough to open my crack fully, and pour light amounts of powder on right hand, then directly to entire booty crack and my entire sack (being sure to protect my sausage with my left hand)

5) wash hands thoroughly.

I have never been happier, and find an extra pep in my step. My ### feels great, and I owe it all to ### gold.

Im 31 years old, and have a midget living in my pants, rubbing mint leaves on my booty slit all day - and I LOVE IT

pics?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

URGENT

After dropping a deuce, what do you guys do?

Reapply?

Thx

Pretty sure you're doing it wrong if you are asking this question. Might want some preparation H instead.

I wipe with TP first, then a 'wetnap' second for extra cleanliness..

Im a bit of a cleanfreak w my god like body...

I reapplied anyways... I figure twice a day is proper.

I don't think you can OD on the stuff, so powder at will, my friend!

 

[beer 302]

URGENT

After dropping a deuce, what do you guys do?

Reapply?

Thx

Pretty sure you're doing it wrong if you are asking this question. Might want some preparation H instead.

I wipe with TP first, then a 'wetnap' second for extra cleanliness..

Im a bit of a cleanfreak w my god like body...

I reapplied anyways... I figure twice a day is proper.

Wasn't so much questioning the re-application, more the placement. I tend to concentrate my efforts on the twig & berries but to each their own.

 

[berndog]

Is GB the magic elixir for the chafing, rash, swamp a$$ between my cheeks? I need something that will save me from a summer of misery.

 

[Arizona Ron]

I make a little pile on the bathroom sink and roll/pat like I'm breading chicken. Best way to get a nice even coat on the boys.

 

[Sheriff66]

I bit the bullet and went to the local wal mart and got my a large container of the GREEN POWDER, referred to here on out as "taint gold"

 

[rizzler]

Is GB the magic elixir for the chafing, rash, swamp ### between my cheeks? I need something that will save me from a summer of misery.

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes and yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I swear I even smell a little mint when I fart

 

[Sheriff66]

I make a little pile on the bathroom sink and roll/pat like I'm breading chicken. Best way to get a nice even coat on the boys.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Is GB the magic elixir for the chafing, rash, swamp ### between my cheeks? I need something that will save me from a summer of misery.

Yup.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Wow - never tried the green - only the Gold which has worked just fine. Guess I need to step up the game.

 

[Annyong]

I make a little pile on the bathroom sink and roll/pat like I'm breading chicken. Best way to get a nice even coat on the boys.

 

[rizzler]

Wow - never tried the green - only the Gold which has worked just fine. Guess I need to step up the game.

step up.

never even tried the gold bottle - after reading this thread and seeing the difference in the medicinals - the choice was clear

for the 3$ difference in price, it's gotta be worth it

QUESTION

How much you guys buying it for? Crossed the border into the states a few days back and couldnt find the dam stufff... Wegmans has only the Blue Bottle (foot powder, turbo mode strength), and Walmart was out.

Came back home that night and found it at WalMart for 10.29$ for a giant sized bottle.

Fair price? I forgot to look at the price when I was in the states... but seeing as I can piss and hit the border, it takes me 30 seconds to cross over and grab some if it's worth it along w my beer

 

[B-Deep]

IDEA

Gold Bond applicator

imagine an athletic cup, with no vent holes

your junk slides in the cup

there is a hole through which you can pull out the tip to avoid peehole issues

then there is a handle sticking off of it, which is a hollow tube. There's a small funnel to place powder in and a fan at the end

so you put the powder in, put the plug in the funnel hole, turn on the fan and gold bond is gently breezed over your area with no mess and even distribution

 

[rizzler]

B-Deep, that idea could work.

But Im always looking for an excuse to touch my junk, so Id go old fashioned, personally

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Amateurs.

Have boxer-briefs around your knees. Apply Gold Bold to applicable area(s) of boxer-briefs. Lift scrotum with one hand, pull boxer-briefs up with the other. Gently massage applicable areas for maximum coverage and enjoyment. An extra spray down the back for those extra humid days.

 

[B-Deep]

Amateurs.

Have boxer-briefs around your knees. Apply Gold Bold to applicable area(s) of boxer-briefs. Lift scrotum with one hand, pull boxer-briefs up with the other. Gently massage applicable areas for maximum coverage and enjoyment. An extra spray down the back for those extra humid days.

hold functioning end of penis in one hand, hold bottle in the other

shake like mad (either hand)

 

[pollardsvision]

Wow - never tried the green - only the Gold which has worked just fine. Guess I need to step up the game.

step up.

never even tried the gold bottle - after reading this thread and seeing the difference in the medicinals - the choice was clear

for the 3$ difference in price, it's gotta be worth it

QUESTION

How much you guys buying it for? Crossed the border into the states a few days back and couldnt find the dam stufff... Wegmans has only the Blue Bottle (foot powder, turbo mode strength), and Walmart was out.

Came back home that night and found it at WalMart for 10.29$ for a giant sized bottle.

Fair price? I forgot to look at the price when I was in the states... but seeing as I can piss and hit the border, it takes me 30 seconds to cross over and grab some if it's worth it along w my beer

It's $8.50 or $8.99 here at Kroger for the big (10 oz.) green bottle. Amazon's $10.95 for one bottle, but they do have a great deal on 3 bottles ($22.47). Not sure if that's just with Prime or not.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Amateurs.

Have boxer-briefs around your knees. Apply Gold Bold to applicable area(s) of boxer-briefs. Lift scrotum with one hand, pull boxer-briefs up with the other. Gently massage applicable areas for maximum coverage and enjoyment. An extra spray down the back for those extra humid days.

Thank God you posted this. I was starting to think I was crazy for just shaking Gold Bond into the boxer briefs and letting the dust settle so to speak....

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Boxer briefs. I've never had skin pain down there due to normal living or hard work. I do get the stinky nut butter, but raw skin? WTF?

 

[AAABatteries]

I make a little pile on the bathroom sink and roll/pat like I'm breading chicken. Best way to get a nice even coat on the boys.

Dark meat?

 

[ShaqAttaq]

I buy the big bottle of yellow (different brand, but same ingredients) at the dollar store. I take a small bottle of green with me when I travel.

 

[Rick James]

So I tried this for the first time today. Went to target and all they had was the yellow and blue bottles, no green. I got the yellow and to he honest I didn't feel anything when I applied it. Is the yellow bottle mild or something?

 

[rizzler]

So I tried this for the first time today. Went to target and all they had was the yellow and blue bottles, no green. I got the yellow and to he honest I didn't feel anything when I applied it. Is the yellow bottle mild or something?

very mild... think it's for kids or sensitive people.

if you look at the medicinals, theyre about 1/5 as strong as they are in the green bottle.

 

[MindCrime]

Yellow is the gateway drug to the harder stuff (green).

 

[pollardsvision]

I've never gone back door with Bond. I might have to give it a try.

I've had the need before, but not lately. Might just have to do it for the tingle.

 

[rizzler]

I've never gone back door with Bond. I might have to give it a try.

I've had the need before, but not lately. Might just have to do it for the tingle.

You dont know you need it, til its on your hole.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Being a cheap ******* I've discovered the Equate brand at Walmart or the Dollar store version is just as good and much cheaper. Big fan

Is this really an area where you want to cheap out?

 

[rizzler]

Ive noticed this - around Canada anyways

The "fake" homebrand stuff, only comes in regular strength and is missing one ingredient that the real stuff has listed

What if that's THE ingredient that makes all the magic?

Anyways, it's null and void cuz I only use Extra Strength.

 

[pollardsvision]

Ive noticed this - around Canada anyways

The "fake" homebrand stuff, only comes in regular strength and is missing one ingredient that the real stuff has listed

What if that's THE ingredient that makes all the magic?

Anyways, it's null and void cuz I only use Extra Strength.

GB only lists menthol and zinc oxide as the active ingredients.

I've never used the off-brand stuff, so I can't say with any experience. I just buy GB. It's always done right by me and I don't mind the price. I'll stay loyal.

I also appreciate that they haven't gone gimmicky. The bottle's stayed old-school and they don't market the product for what it's really for. It's like an important secret that only men know about.

The Anti-Monkey Butt thing just seems tacky in comparison.