D in the D
Footballguy
No, but using the urinal in a pinch it completely acceptable.VA703 said:
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
How long do you hold it? (#2) (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Buddy Ball 2K3
- Start date
TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
I crapped my pants once. After that, you don't take chances trying to firm stuff up.
VA703
Footballguy
honestly id go the trash can or sink before the urinal.. seems high probability of a mud pile ending up on your shoes and pants
Buddy Ball 2K3
Footballguy
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
Depending on the urinal, it is probably easier to hover over/in than trying to get over a sink.
VA703
Footballguy
probably less splatter and more comfortable to sit on a sink and unload in there.. if its all liquid though there will be splash damage.. but I may be wrong there might be some huge urinals out there that you can comfortably fit in
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
There are some old ones out there that a girl could squat over - but there aren't many of those anymore.
VA703
Footballguy
I think I may just carry a plastic grocery bag around with me incase of emergency. just gotta make sure no holes , could probably wipe with it as well (temp solution)
Buddy Ball 2K3
Footballguy
VA703
Footballguy
lod01
Footballguy
I got 2 hours left and the farts are leaking out. I think I can make it. I was fine until I started reading this thread.
pollardsvision
Footballguy
Yep, he was asking for some "butterknife in the ketchup bottle" sort of help.ClownCausedChaos2 said:
Buddy Ball 2K3
Footballguy
moleculo
Footballguy
right now, not really. Sometimes though, I think that the longer I hold it in, the better it will feel letting it out.
Fat Nick
Footballguy
Ditto - DC Metro is not a bathroom-friendly place after dark coming home from a Skins game at RFK. Almost had a repeat performance a few years later, but I had learned my lesson. Rather than trying to hold it and risk deflowering the Orange Line train to Vienna for a second time, I got off and tried to find a place to go...The Burger King I surfaced near had just closed and the lady wouldn't let me in, so I #### in the bushes outside. I had no shame, but I had clean pants.I don't mess around. When nature calls, I answer quickly.
I won't even use the one at work. I'm dam regular, one in the morning and one when I get home at night. I can and will comfortable hold it until I get home 99% of the time. I've been at my current office 3 years and only had to use it once (dam gas station roller food).AAABatteries said:
butcher boy
Footballguy
On Monday morning, I had to hold my #2 while my wife was taking a shower. If it was enough of an emergency, my wife probably wouldn't mind if I came in and dropped one while she showered, but otherwise it would cause more drama than it would be worth.
It didn't quite work out.
At some point, a bit of the turtle head scraped my underwear and it was all downhill from there. When my wife was finished, I got up and noticed a wet feeling on my butt and even up by my underwear strap. I gently touched the wet spot, took a quick sniff and knew this was going to be bad.
I got in the bathroom, shut the door, and went to work. I sat on the toilet and immediately shot out what was left of the semi-solid turd. The smell was worse than usual, indicating some turd had breached the seal between my butt and the toilet seat. I didn't waste any time after that. I started wiping but noticed that the turd had indeed made its way up my back somehow. I knew this was going to require me to just go straight into the shower. I got up and half the toilet seat was smothered in a thin layer of smeared turd. Knowing my wife could at any moment come back into the bathroom to blow dry her hair, I couldn't just leave it. I grabbed a huge wad of toilet paper, wet it a bit and wiped the toilet seat very crudely before getting in the shower.
A few minutes later all was good. I was just about done shampooing my hair when my wife walks in and proceeds to take begin taking a crap.
It didn't quite work out.
At some point, a bit of the turtle head scraped my underwear and it was all downhill from there. When my wife was finished, I got up and noticed a wet feeling on my butt and even up by my underwear strap. I gently touched the wet spot, took a quick sniff and knew this was going to be bad.
I got in the bathroom, shut the door, and went to work. I sat on the toilet and immediately shot out what was left of the semi-solid turd. The smell was worse than usual, indicating some turd had breached the seal between my butt and the toilet seat. I didn't waste any time after that. I started wiping but noticed that the turd had indeed made its way up my back somehow. I knew this was going to require me to just go straight into the shower. I got up and half the toilet seat was smothered in a thin layer of smeared turd. Knowing my wife could at any moment come back into the bathroom to blow dry her hair, I couldn't just leave it. I grabbed a huge wad of toilet paper, wet it a bit and wiped the toilet seat very crudely before getting in the shower.
A few minutes later all was good. I was just about done shampooing my hair when my wife walks in and proceeds to take begin taking a crap.
El Floppo
Footballguy
by holding it in until it explodes out of you outside a burger king in Fairfax?
I don't mess around. When nature calls, I answer quickly.
that's my Inlaw's stop too, btw- you're not my BIL, are you?
El Floppo
Footballguy
jesusOn Monday morning, I had to hold my #2 while my wife was taking a shower. If it was enough of an emergency, my wife probably wouldn't mind if I came in and dropped one while she showered, but otherwise it would cause more drama than it would be worth.
It didn't quite work out.
At some point, a bit of the turtle head scraped my underwear and it was all downhill from there. When my wife was finished, I got up and noticed a wet feeling on my butt and even up by my underwear strap. I gently touched the wet spot, took a quick sniff and knew this was going to be bad.
I got in the bathroom, shut the door, and went to work. I sat on the toilet and immediately shot out what was left of the semi-solid turd. The smell was worse than usual, indicating some turd had breached the seal between my butt and the toilet seat. I didn't waste any time after that. I started wiping but noticed that the turd had indeed made its way up my back somehow. I knew this was going to require me to just go straight into the shower. I got up and half the toilet seat was smothered in a thin layer of smeared turd. Knowing my wife could at any moment come back into the bathroom to blow dry her hair, I couldn't just leave it. I grabbed a huge wad of toilet paper, wet it a bit and wiped the toilet seat very crudely before getting in the shower.
A few minutes later all was good. I was just about done shampooing my hair when my wife walks in and proceeds to take begin taking a crap.
nirad3
Footballguy
Those of you in NorCal or that have ever visited Berkeley/Oakland and know of Zachary's Pizza will admit... their pies are things of beauty. Thick, deep dish... with loads of gooey cheese and topped with fresh, crushed tomatoes.
Well, one evening back in 2001ish, a buddy of mine, his wife and a friend of theirs decided to stop and down some delicious Zachary's pies on our way from the East Bay across the Bay Bridge into "the city". My buddy's cousin played hoops for a local junior college, and they were in the playoffs, facing the #1 team in the state, which played in South SF.
So we kill 3-4 slices each (maybe more, knowing how I can put it away) and get back on the road, not blessed with much time... we get on the bridge, it's raining and right around the time where everyone and their mother is headed into the city for dinner, nightlife, etc... so traffic's moving at a snail's pace.
I don't know what it is about certain foods, but they seem to do a number on my gastro-intestinal system. All of that delicious pizza had been in my system for nary an hour, but my stomach was already throwing in the towel. The gurlging began and I knew that an explosive movement of bowels was impending. And fast. I had to crack the car window because a cold sweat had started, and was pressing my foot down into the floorboard of the car as hard as I could to create some force to keep my insides from coming out.
We finally crossed the bridge and I begged my buddy to pull off to a gas station, but we were missing the beginning of the game and despite my pleas and confirmation that I was about to soil his passenger seat, we continued on.
Half hour later, we pull up to the junior college gymnasium and I implore him to stop before parking. I carefully hoist myself from the car and waddle to the ticket window. First thing I ask "where's your bathroom?". After getting my ticket, the lady replies "down those stairs". STAIRS?
I waddle down the stairs, praying to the bowel gods that a stall was open. There was, and as I yanked my pants/boxers down, it was akin to Krakatoa .
So no, I prefer to not hold my #2.
Well, one evening back in 2001ish, a buddy of mine, his wife and a friend of theirs decided to stop and down some delicious Zachary's pies on our way from the East Bay across the Bay Bridge into "the city". My buddy's cousin played hoops for a local junior college, and they were in the playoffs, facing the #1 team in the state, which played in South SF.
So we kill 3-4 slices each (maybe more, knowing how I can put it away) and get back on the road, not blessed with much time... we get on the bridge, it's raining and right around the time where everyone and their mother is headed into the city for dinner, nightlife, etc... so traffic's moving at a snail's pace.
I don't know what it is about certain foods, but they seem to do a number on my gastro-intestinal system. All of that delicious pizza had been in my system for nary an hour, but my stomach was already throwing in the towel. The gurlging began and I knew that an explosive movement of bowels was impending. And fast. I had to crack the car window because a cold sweat had started, and was pressing my foot down into the floorboard of the car as hard as I could to create some force to keep my insides from coming out.
We finally crossed the bridge and I begged my buddy to pull off to a gas station, but we were missing the beginning of the game and despite my pleas and confirmation that I was about to soil his passenger seat, we continued on.
Half hour later, we pull up to the junior college gymnasium and I implore him to stop before parking. I carefully hoist myself from the car and waddle to the ticket window. First thing I ask "where's your bathroom?". After getting my ticket, the lady replies "down those stairs". STAIRS?
I waddle down the stairs, praying to the bowel gods that a stall was open. There was, and as I yanked my pants/boxers down, it was akin to Krakatoa .
So no, I prefer to not hold my #2.
butcher boy
Footballguy
3-4 slices of Zachary's?Those of you in NorCal or that have ever visited Berkeley/Oakland and know of Zachary's Pizza will admit... their pies are things of beauty. Thick, deep dish... with loads of gooey cheese and topped with fresh, crushed tomatoes.
Well, one evening back in 2001ish, a buddy of mine, his wife and a friend of theirs decided to stop and down some delicious Zachary's pies on our way from the East Bay across the Bay Bridge into "the city". My buddy's cousin played hoops for a local junior college, and they were in the playoffs, facing the #1 team in the state, which played in South SF.
So we kill 3-4 slices each (maybe more, knowing how I can put it away) and get back on the road, not blessed with much time... we get on the bridge, it's raining and right around the time where everyone and their mother is headed into the city for dinner, nightlife, etc... so traffic's moving at a snail's pace.
I don't know what it is about certain foods, but they seem to do a number on my gastro-intestinal system. All of that delicious pizza had been in my system for nary an hour, but my stomach was already throwing in the towel. The gurlging began and I knew that an explosive movement of bowels was impending. And fast. I had to crack the car window because a cold sweat had started, and was pressing my foot down into the floorboard of the car as hard as I could to create some force to keep my insides from coming out.
We finally crossed the bridge and I begged my buddy to pull off to a gas station, but we were missing the beginning of the game and despite my pleas and confirmation that I was about to soil his passenger seat, we continued on.
Half hour later, we pull up to the junior college gymnasium and I implore him to stop before parking. I carefully hoist myself from the car and waddle to the ticket window. First thing I ask "where's your bathroom?". After getting my ticket, the lady replies "down those stairs". STAIRS?
I waddle down the stairs, praying to the bowel gods that a stall was open. There was, and as I yanked my pants/boxers down, it was akin to Krakatoa .
So no, I prefer to not hold my #2.
I can barely put away 2.
TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
Cheese blocks me up. I'll eat pizza if I'm going out to put a stopper on the drain.
nirad3
Footballguy
Hmm, my recollection may be hazy since I am pretty sure holding in that beast killed a few brain cells.3-4 slices of Zachary's?Those of you in NorCal or that have ever visited Berkeley/Oakland and know of Zachary's Pizza will admit... their pies are things of beauty. Thick, deep dish... with loads of gooey cheese and topped with fresh, crushed tomatoes.
Well, one evening back in 2001ish, a buddy of mine, his wife and a friend of theirs decided to stop and down some delicious Zachary's pies on our way from the East Bay across the Bay Bridge into "the city". My buddy's cousin played hoops for a local junior college, and they were in the playoffs, facing the #1 team in the state, which played in South SF.
So we kill 3-4 slices each (maybe more, knowing how I can put it away) and get back on the road, not blessed with much time... we get on the bridge, it's raining and right around the time where everyone and their mother is headed into the city for dinner, nightlife, etc... so traffic's moving at a snail's pace.
I don't know what it is about certain foods, but they seem to do a number on my gastro-intestinal system. All of that delicious pizza had been in my system for nary an hour, but my stomach was already throwing in the towel. The gurlging began and I knew that an explosive movement of bowels was impending. And fast. I had to crack the car window because a cold sweat had started, and was pressing my foot down into the floorboard of the car as hard as I could to create some force to keep my insides from coming out.
We finally crossed the bridge and I begged my buddy to pull off to a gas station, but we were missing the beginning of the game and despite my pleas and confirmation that I was about to soil his passenger seat, we continued on.
Half hour later, we pull up to the junior college gymnasium and I implore him to stop before parking. I carefully hoist myself from the car and waddle to the ticket window. First thing I ask "where's your bathroom?". After getting my ticket, the lady replies "down those stairs". STAIRS?
I waddle down the stairs, praying to the bowel gods that a stall was open. There was, and as I yanked my pants/boxers down, it was akin to Krakatoa .
So no, I prefer to not hold my #2.
I can barely put away 2.
moleculo
Footballguy
holding strong still. About to head home to sit on my personal throne. 20 minute drive. Wish me luck.
Buddy Ball 2K3
Footballguy
Fat Nick
Footballguy
Those stops can take a while...If you start bubbling as you got on the train, you had to hold it past Metro Center or you'd never get a spot on any of the subsequent trains.by holding it in until it explodes out of you outside a burger king in Fairfax?
I don't mess around. When nature calls, I answer quickly.
that's my Inlaw's stop too, btw- you're not my BIL, are you?
I don't think I'm your BIL, but I like his style!
dickey moe
Fingerpicker
I'm a master of clenching in the mud pipe.
Fat Nick
Footballguy
JohnfrmCleveland
Footballguy
There's no waiting around for a better time/location these days. But about 13 years ago I was walking around Rome with my wife (who was not yet disgusted with me) when the bowels started rumbling. And I don't know what kind of ancient neighborhood we were in, but when I was finally able to locate a bathroom in an espresso place, it was a squat toilet (picture) - which I had never seen before, and was amazed that they still existed in 21st century Italy. When I saw that, my bowels somehow took pity on me and granted me another hour or so to find a real bathroom.
pollardsvision
Footballguy
chauncey
Footballguy
Sitttimg in a taco bell drive thru at 11:40 pm, sober, clenching because I'm about to explode, can't leave because there are cars in front and behind me. The truck of Mexicans in front of me must have ordered for the neighborhood, taking forever. Hope I can hold it. May be posting in the "I sharted" thread in a minute. 
Jayrod
Footballguy
sdp1226
Footballguy
Agree. Nothing beats sitting on the can with a cigg or a J, a cup o joe and some reading material(porn). I'll sit there longer than needed till my legs get numb.
Last edited by a moderator:
El Floppo
Footballguy
When I was five my dad and I went camping. I had to take a duece all day but couldn't go for some reason. I eventually gave in and went to sleep. In the middle of the night I woke up and it felt like I was drenched in sweat. I woke my dad up and told him that I was sweating. He promptly told me no....you #### your pants.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I literally loled.One time I went into a public men's room, it was either a Home Depot or Lowe's, and I had to go BAD. One stall was occupied. I got into the open stall as fast as I could, pants fly off, and I mean the very instant my ### hit the seat........ FLAAAWAHHHHHSPLASHSPLASHSPLASHSPLASHSPLASHFAAAAAAARRRRRRT!!!!
It was so loud, so violent, so obnoxious, that I started snickering....tried to hold in the laughter, finally just
Guy in the next stall calmly cleared his throat, flushed, and walked out quietly. I still couldn't contain my laughter for at least 10 minutes.
E Street Brat
Footballguy
I haven't pooped since March.
I think it was a Tuesday.
I think it was a Tuesday.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
McGarnicle
Footballguy
Someday I'm definitely going to #### off an overpass. It's on my bucket list.
pollardsvision
Footballguy
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
Similar threads
