how often do your wife and her mother speak? (1 Viewer)

[Bull Dozier]

My MIL lives with us M-F.

The ONLY upside is that she works and goes out to eat by herself every night, so I really only have to deal with her for 1-2 hours per week and she is usually camped in front of a TV so I can avoid her.

This is potentially threadworthy itself, but it is probably only entertaining to me. I don't think people would like to read my sour grapes on a daily basis. However, whenever we are in the same mood, my general thought is "FML."

OK, I'll bite......

What does she do on the weekends?

Nothing super interesting. My FIL retired last year. They had been building a house/cabin in northern MN for them to retire to. He retired finally last summer and moved up full time. At that time, my MIL asked if she could stay with us during the week so she can keep her job in the Twin Cities area until she finds work closer to the cabin. She promised she would be out by winter, because she didn't want to make that drive every week in the snow and dark. Well, that was last summer and she's still here. She hasn't been able to find a job up there (my immediate reaction to this plan was that job opportunities for 70 year old women with limited skills are limited in northern MN, but that fell on deaf ears).

Anyway, she's still here with no plans to ever move as far as I can tell. What I've been able to read into this situation is that I don't think she ever wanted to retire to northern MN (she is very social, while he is quite and loves spending time alone in the woods). This way they each have the best of both worlds and I get stuck with her instead of him being stuck with her which I think he doesn't mind one bit.

 

[glumpy]

once a week

yup, on occasion twice.

 

[RUSF18]

My MIL lives with us M-F.

The ONLY upside is that she works and goes out to eat by herself every night, so I really only have to deal with her for 1-2 hours per week and she is usually camped in front of a TV so I can avoid her.

This is potentially threadworthy itself, but it is probably only entertaining to me. I don't think people would like to read my sour grapes on a daily basis. However, whenever we are in the same mood, my general thought is "FML."

OK, I'll bite......

What does she do on the weekends?

Nothing super interesting. My FIL retired last year. They had been building a house/cabin in northern MN for them to retire to. He retired finally last summer and moved up full time. At that time, my MIL asked if she could stay with us during the week so she can keep her job in the Twin Cities area until she finds work closer to the cabin. She promised she would be out by winter, because she didn't want to make that drive every week in the snow and dark. Well, that was last summer and she's still here. She hasn't been able to find a job up there (my immediate reaction to this plan was that job opportunities for 70 year old women with limited skills are limited in northern MN, but that fell on deaf ears).

Anyway, she's still here with no plans to ever move as far as I can tell. What I've been able to read into this situation is that I don't think she ever wanted to retire to northern MN (she is very social, while he is quite and loves spending time alone in the woods). This way they each have the best of both worlds and I get stuck with her instead of him being stuck with her which I think he doesn't mind one bit.

See guys...it could always be worse.

 

[mr roboto]

My MIL lives with us M-F.

The ONLY upside is that she works and goes out to eat by herself every night, so I really only have to deal with her for 1-2 hours per week and she is usually camped in front of a TV so I can avoid her.

This is potentially threadworthy itself, but it is probably only entertaining to me. I don't think people would like to read my sour grapes on a daily basis. However, whenever we are in the same mood, my general thought is "FML."

OK, I'll bite......What does she do on the weekends?

Nothing super interesting. My FIL retired last year. They had been building a house/cabin in northern MN for them to retire to. He retired finally last summer and moved up full time. At that time, my MIL asked if she could stay with us during the week so she can keep her job in the Twin Cities area until she finds work closer to the cabin. She promised she would be out by winter, because she didn't want to make that drive every week in the snow and dark. Well, that was last summer and she's still here. She hasn't been able to find a job up there (my immediate reaction to this plan was that job opportunities for 70 year old women with limited skills are limited in northern MN, but that fell on deaf ears).Anyway, she's still here with no plans to ever move as far as I can tell. What I've been able to read into this situation is that I don't think she ever wanted to retire to northern MN (she is very social, while he is quite and loves spending time alone in the woods). This way they each have the best of both worlds and I get stuck with her instead of him being stuck with her which I think he doesn't mind one bit.

Ouch. You got ####### played here. Your FIL pawned both his daughter AND wife on you.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Between calls and texts, I would say my wife and MIL are in the 20+ a day range

 

[Bull Dozier]

My MIL lives with us M-F.

The ONLY upside is that she works and goes out to eat by herself every night, so I really only have to deal with her for 1-2 hours per week and she is usually camped in front of a TV so I can avoid her.

This is potentially threadworthy itself, but it is probably only entertaining to me. I don't think people would like to read my sour grapes on a daily basis. However, whenever we are in the same mood, my general thought is "FML."

OK, I'll bite......What does she do on the weekends?

Nothing super interesting. My FIL retired last year. They had been building a house/cabin in northern MN for them to retire to. He retired finally last summer and moved up full time. At that time, my MIL asked if she could stay with us during the week so she can keep her job in the Twin Cities area until she finds work closer to the cabin. She promised she would be out by winter, because she didn't want to make that drive every week in the snow and dark. Well, that was last summer and she's still here. She hasn't been able to find a job up there (my immediate reaction to this plan was that job opportunities for 70 year old women with limited skills are limited in northern MN, but that fell on deaf ears).Anyway, she's still here with no plans to ever move as far as I can tell. What I've been able to read into this situation is that I don't think she ever wanted to retire to northern MN (she is very social, while he is quite and loves spending time alone in the woods). This way they each have the best of both worlds and I get stuck with her instead of him being stuck with her which I think he doesn't mind one bit.

Ouch. You got ####### played here. Your FIL pawned both his daughter AND wife on you.

The only revenge I get is that his daughter lets me do pretty much whatever I want to her.

I'm not sure that is break even though.

 

[deep vacuum]

The dark lord & her Sith master speak about 6-20x per week depending on how anxious grandma is that week. Sometimes they don't speak for days and then there are days that grandma calls 15x per day.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

2 or 3 times a day. What do I care...

 

[Kal El]

She talks to her mom probably once every few days, and her dad about as much.

 

[Keith R]

2x / month.

 

[TxBuckeye]

Between calls and texts, I would say my wife and MIL are in the 20+ a day range

Are some of you married to 12 year old girls or what? I can't imagine the crap you go through during fights. Arguing with your wife and, by proxy, your MIL who must certainly be in the loop throughout.

 

[Foosball God]

I have no idea, nor do I care to.

 

[Jayrod]

My MIL lives with us, so 5+.

If she didn't I don't think they'd talk much more than once per day.

 

[Fennis]

once every 7-10 days

 

[SeaDogStat]

MIL stays with us part time over the extended weekends... Thu-Mon usually. Wife talks to her 2-3 times per day when MIL isn't there and they hang out when she is there. MIL loves sports (especially golf and baseball) and she even followed some of WC. I get along great with her. If either one of them could cook a lick, I'd be king of the castle but I do pretty much all the cooking.

 

[urbanhack]

once a week or once every 10 days.

 

[IC FBGCav]

My wife works until 3:30. She works around 10 minutes from home. The house phone rings at 3:40 every weekday. If that isn't answered, she moves to the wife's cell.

 

[17seconds]

My wife and her mom are close and I'd say they speak twice a week.

 

[Tom Servo]

Wife and her mom probably talk 1-2 times a day. Maybe 3 if there's breaking family news or something.

She talks to her while fixing dinner so I don't hear any of the conversation.

 

[avoiding injuries]

Wife and her mom probably talk 1-2 times a day. Maybe 3 if there's breaking family news or something.

She talks to her while fixing dinner so I don't hear any of the conversation.

What is this "fixing dinner" thing you speak of?

 

[moneyman]

My wife works until 3:30. She works around 10 minutes from home. The house phone rings at 3:40 every weekday. If that isn't answered, she moves to the wife's cell.

This happens to me. Drives me nuts and prompted me to finally shut off my land line. If wife doesn't answer her cell sometimes MIL will call my cell asking why no one is picking up their phone.

 

[Daywalker]

64% every day. 29% more then once a day. Yikes.

This an eye-opening poll.

 

[krista4]

64% every day. 29% more then once a day. Yikes.

This an eye-opening poll.

It's shocking. Makes me wonder if I'm a bad daughter? I talk to my mom on the phone only if she is visiting and calls to say "we're here ". Otherwise , it's an email on average of five times a week.I do understand if people have kids and are coordinating schedules and such.

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

 

[Daywalker]

64% every day. 29% more then once a day. Yikes.

This an eye-opening poll.

It's shocking. Makes me wonder if I'm a bad daughter? I talk to my mom on the phone only if she is visiting and calls to say "we're here ". Otherwise , it's an email on average of five times a week.I do understand if people have kids and are coordinating schedules and such.

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

I have three sisters. Interested in what they have to say. Including my mom we all live 45 minutes of each other. I would guess my sisters talk to my mom 2-3x's a week. If we all lived further apart would think it would be less.

I talk to my mom on the phone once a month I would guess. Usually around 4-6 weeks we will get together and BBQ. Sometimes more often when holidays or circumstance necessitate.

Outside of significant other/kids can't imagine wanting to talk to someone everyday. Time flies. A few weeks/month is nothing.

 

[mr. furley]

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

about as far from miserable and unhappy as a person can get

 

[TxBuckeye]

Once a week, so voted zero since that is the closest to the average per day.

 

[NCCommish]

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

about as far from miserable and unhappy as a person can get

It's Ok you're amongst friends. You don't have to hide your angst from us. Just let it out, you'll feel better.

 

[Buddy Ball 2K3]

Surprised my wife with a trip Disney for her 40th. Her family knew and helped arrange everything so it would be a surprise.

The biggest surprise however was how often my wife was texting her mother during the first day in the park. Turns out Mom and partner had arranged to be at Disney the same time.

SURPRISE! So yeah, it's a lot.

 

[George Jefferson Airplane]

Two times per year

 

[Jeff Vader]

My wife's mom is a clingy, easily angered old woman. We love her - at a distance, if possible.

Now change this to her father, and it's once a day. They have a nightly call where they chat about stuff. Mostly family stuff and boring home finances and crap.

 

[Kanil]

I voted 0 but it's probably about .66. I'd say 2x every 3 days.

 

[avoiding injuries]

My wife's mom is a clingy, easily angered old woman. We love her - at a distance, if possible.

Now change this to her father, and it's once a day. They have a nightly call where they chat about stuff. Mostly family stuff and boring home finances and crap.

I don't think I'd want my wife and FIL to talk about our home finances. I definitely wouldn't want my MIL surprising us on our vacation. #### that ####.

 

[Bull Dozier]

My wife's mom is a clingy, easily angered old woman. We love her - at a distance, if possible.

Now change this to her father, and it's once a day. They have a nightly call where they chat about stuff. Mostly family stuff and boring home finances and crap.

I don't think I'd want my wife and FIL to talk about our home finances.I definitely wouldn't want my MIL surprising us on our vacation. #### that ####.

I'm happy to read this and share in the mysery of others. I'm still not sure of any of that is worse that having my MIL live with me, but I should would be pissed if my wife was talking to her dad about our finances.

 

[TheIronSheik]

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

about as far from miserable and unhappy as a person can get

I still love you.

 

[Da Guru]

My MIL has 3 daughters with my wife being the middle. Everyday she calls my wife and the older one at least 3 times, the younger one maybe 5 times. Last Saturday my wife was gone for the day and forgot her phone. I looked at her phone around 5pm and she had 22 missed calls from her mother from 1pm to 5pm with 5 voice message. At that point she starts calling me and my daughters to track down my wife.

If she is over our home for dinner she always stays at least 3-4 hours, when she leaves she calls my wife the second she gets home because "she forgot to tell her something" any call from her mother is at least a 15 minute chat with my wife only saying "Awe,,yes..I know, how nice.. and nothing else.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Between work and kids/family stuff I barely have time to take 5 minutes to myself to drop a deuce. Who the hell has time for this?

 

[mr roboto]

Some of you need to grow a pair.

 

[jamny]

I actually wish my wife had a better relationship with her mother but I'm not gonna push it. There wasn't a lot of love in her family and her mom tends to alienate everyone around her. My BiL and his family (3 kids) live upstairs from them and they don't even come down for holiday dinners anymore. Makes for awkward, and boring, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

 

[Buddy Ball 2K3]

My wife's mom is a clingy, easily angered old woman. We love her - at a distance, if possible.

Now change this to her father, and it's once a day. They have a nightly call where they chat about stuff. Mostly family stuff and boring home finances and crap.

I definitely wouldn't want my MIL surprising us on our vacation. #### that ####.

My wife made sure we never saw her because I would have went ballistic. My MIL has zero clue about boundaries and more times than not my wife is guilted into the on going saga that is being in a relationship with her mother.

 

[avoiding injuries]

My MIL has 3 daughters with my wife being the middle. Everyday she calls my wife and the older one at least 3 times, the younger one maybe 5 times. Last Saturday my wife was gone for the day and forgot her phone. I looked at her phone around 5pm and she had 22 missed calls from her mother from 1pm to 5pm with 5 voice message. At that point she starts calling me and my daughters to track down my wife.

If she is over our home for dinner she always stays at least 3-4 hours, when she leaves she calls my wife the second she gets home because "she forgot to tell her something" any call from her mother is at least a 15 minute chat with my wife only saying "Awe,,yes..I know, how nice.. and nothing else.

I swear to God, you might be my brother-in-law. I'm married to the youngest.

 

[Steve Tasker]

My girlfriend talks to her mother on the phone maybe 1-2x per week if I had to guess. Might be less than that. She spends most of her Sundays at her parents' house though, doing laundry and such.

My sister, on the other hand, talks to my mom on the phone multiple times a day.

 

[NCCommish]

I guess I'm pretty lucky. One dustup with my MIL early on. I laid out the boundaries, she apologized for overstepping and it has been great ever since.

 

[mr. furley]

But man, starting to get (though not completely) why furley is such a miserable and unhappy human being.

about as far from miserable and unhappy as a person can get

It's Ok you're amongst friends. You don't have to hide your angst from us. Just let it out, you'll feel better.

by "it" do you mean my pen is?

 

[Jeff Vader]

My wife's mom is a clingy, easily angered old woman. We love her - at a distance, if possible.

Now change this to her father, and it's once a day. They have a nightly call where they chat about stuff. Mostly family stuff and boring home finances and crap.

I don't think I'd want my wife and FIL to talk about our home finances.I definitely wouldn't want my MIL surprising us on our vacation. #### that ####.

Oh not specific bank account of credit card stuff. Just in general. How to do this, get that, etc. They're like two amateur home managers or something. This insurance coverage is good, these people suck, this tax sucks, this tax credit is good, etc. I could care less about all of it.

ETA: the family stuff is about their family. This relative is dying, that relative did something nice, this cousin got a scholarship, that one got laid off, etc. Again, I could care less. I don't even know half the names of the extended family. My BIL is one of my best friends and I love my FIL and MIL, but the rest? Meh. I'm sure they're nice, but I'm an introvert and only extend so far.

 

[Jeff Vader]

I actually wish my wife had a better relationship with her mother but I'm not gonna push it. There wasn't a lot of love in her family and her mom tends to alienate everyone around her. My BiL and his family (3 kids) live upstairs from them and they don't even come down for holiday dinners anymore. Makes for awkward, and boring, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

Holy awkward.

 

[The Gator]

4-5 times a year

boom, suck it furely

 

[jamny]

I actually wish my wife had a better relationship with her mother but I'm not gonna push it. There wasn't a lot of love in her family and her mom tends to alienate everyone around her. My BiL and his family (3 kids) live upstairs from them and they don't even come down for holiday dinners anymore. Makes for awkward, and boring, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

Holy awkward.

Yeah, more sad than awkward now. My BiL will come down and eat with us and the kids will come down somewhat one by one and go back up. It's just weird. The family just doesn't address the problems. I stay out of it.