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If you knew a buddy was cheating on his wife and bragging about it (1 Viewer)

Would you tell her?

  • yes

    Votes: 40 18.5%
  • no

    Votes: 176 81.5%

  • Total voters
    216

Henry Ford

Footballguy
Spinoff of the "college flame" thread. If you knew a buddy - not your best friend but some guy you hang out with - was cheating on his wife and bragging about it either in person or on the internet, would you tell her?

 
Probably no simply because it throws you in the middle. He's a buddy not one of your closest friends. What are the chances that you even know his wife that well?

I would certainly say something to him though. And mention that if I'm hearing about it it's getting around and your wife is gonna hear it real soon.

 
Okay, I was wrong on principle in the other false start thread. :)

No. Mind yer business.

I would certainly say something to him though. And mention that if I'm hearing about it it's getting around and your wife is gonna hear it real soon.
This is the correct answer.

 
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Depends on how close I was with her and how big a ######## my buddy was.Had this happen to me with my then wife to be cheating on me with one of my best friends and he was man enough to tell me before we got married.Flip side was we didn't remain friends after that but I was glad he told me for sure.

 
No, no, no, no. A million times no. We don't know his and her situation. Telling could possibly make things worse. Maybe she already knows and wants to pretend she doesn't. Maybe she won't believe you. Maybe tomorrow he cuts ties with the mistress and recommits to his family for reals. Maybe maybe maybe.

The best thing to do is to stay out of it.

 
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No, but down depending on my relationship with him I may talk to him about it. I had the conversation with a friend once and got him to stop and take inventory of what was going to happen when he inevitably got caught. Once he did that, he was genuinely fearful of losing his wife. Until a couple of years later when he pocket dialed his wife while bragging to a buddy about a chick he was nailing. Ran into him years later and he confessed that he'd ruined everything worth having in his life. What your witnessing is like watching a buddy drinking himself into dangerous situations. If you're a good friend you should let him know it's not a badge of honor.

 
Posted this in the SP thread, figured I'd post it here as well. How good of friends am I with her? Situation happened to me when I was in college. I was equal friends with both of them, I told him either he tells her or I do. He ended up telling her and leaving her for his side piece. Don't talk to him any more, he ended up marrying the chick he was cheating with, til she was pregnant with another guy's kid. So he's divorced now and still works at the restaurant. The original girl ended up getting married to the midget from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Go figure.

 
Wouldn't be a buddy long after seeing/reading it. Probably send an anonymous note for her to check out said bragging and be done with it/them. I have zero tolerance for cheating.

 
No, but down depending on my relationship with him I may talk to him about it. I had the conversation with a friend once and got him to stop and take inventory of what was going to happen when he inevitably got caught. Once he did that, he was genuinely fearful of losing his wife. Until a couple of years later when he pocket dialed his wife while bragging to a buddy about a chick he was nailing. Ran into him years later and he confessed that he'd ruined everything worth having in his life. What your witnessing is like watching a buddy drinking himself into dangerous situations. If you're a good friend you should let him know it's not a badge of honor.
Interesting. I think the "dangerous drinking" is both a good and a bad analogy.

For starters, It's a lot easier to tell that drinking is "dangerous" than cheating is (i.e., unless you are dealing with unstable people, cheating probably won't kill you). But it's a good analogy because there really isn't anything you can do as a friend who is a problem drinker, other than continue to be his friend (which, ironically, may include you stopping contact until his behavior changes).

But one piece of advice is damn good: This guy probably needs as good friend to talk to. I would think to most people in this situation, cheating isn't fun. Particularly if he's married with kids. He probably would be despirate for someone to talk to about it.

 
I would think to most people in this situation, cheating isn't fun.
Huh? I'm not an expert but if the cheating isn't fun, why is he doing it?

My answer to the original question is "no" because if people found out I snitched, I would never get to hear any more interesting stories.

 
Wouldn't be a buddy long after seeing/reading it. Probably send an anonymous note for her to check out said bragging and be done with it/them. I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Better yet, tell her in a voice mail on her cell phone but inhale helium before leaving the information. She'll never guess who it is.

 
Posted this in the SP thread, figured I'd post it here as well. How good of friends am I with her? Situation happened to me when I was in college. I was equal friends with both of them, I told him either he tells her or I do. He ended up telling her and leaving her for his side piece. Don't talk to him any more, he ended up marrying the chick he was cheating with, til she was pregnant with another guy's kid. So he's divorced now and still works at the restaurant. The original girl ended up getting married to the midget from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Go figure.
marty?

 
Posted this in the SP thread, figured I'd post it here as well. How good of friends am I with her? Situation happened to me when I was in college. I was equal friends with both of them, I told him either he tells her or I do. He ended up telling her and leaving her for his side piece. Don't talk to him any more, he ended up marrying the chick he was cheating with, til she was pregnant with another guy's kid. So he's divorced now and still works at the restaurant. The original girl ended up getting married to the midget from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Go figure.
marty?
Yup.

 
I would not tell her. I would talk to him. I would let him know that he will be caught eventually and he will likely lose his family.

 
How is this even a question? Hell no.
Yeah, this.

You should definitely talk with him, but not her.
What if you're also friends with her? If you are constantly going out with the same group of people, it's inevitable two of them will get together.
I agree with the "No" crowd, and I also agree that with a close friend I'd talk to him.

You have to assume that this sort of news is going to be a coup de grace to the marriage, so you have to ask yourself whether you have the right to apply it. Only if there was something physically harmful that I know would (not just could) come from this, and I suppose that would mean some sort of horrible disease or something, might I let her know.

 
Spinoff of the "college flame" thread. If you knew a buddy - not your best friend but some guy you hang out with - was cheating on his wife and bragging about it either in person or on the internet, would you tell her?
too many variables for a one-size fits all answer.

I've been in this situation with someone from work. That was an easier answer - I didn't talk to his wife, but we investigate and careers end over this stuff. If he's dumb enough to cheat and brag about it, he doesn't deserve to wear the uniform.

OTOH, if it's someone who I don't work with. our wives are probably also friends.

I tell my wife everything, there's a fair chance she'd talk to her friend.

So no, I wouldn't say anything directly to her, but she would find out.

Either way, his wife is finding out.

 
How is this even a question? Hell no.
Yeah, this.

You should definitely talk with him, but not her.
What if you're also friends with her? If you are constantly going out with the same group of people, it's inevitable two of them will get together.
I agree with the "No" crowd, and I also agree that with a close friend I'd talk to him.

You have to assume that this sort of news is going to be a coup de grace to the marriage, so you have to ask yourself whether you have the right to apply it. Only if there was something physically harmful that I know would (not just could) come from this, and I suppose that would mean some sort of horrible disease or something, might I let her know.
Right.

 
Spinoff of the "college flame" thread. If you knew a buddy - not your best friend but some guy you hang out with - was cheating on his wife and bragging about it either in person or on the internet, would you tell her?
Who do I know better? Him or Her? Did I know her first? Probably not say anything, but if she was the friend and I became buddies with him through her, possibly.

 
No. Stay out of Dodge
This is where I'm at.

Similar situation, my wife told me her best friend was cheating on her husband (why do they tell us these things we do not want to know? :wall: ). Makes me a jerk because if it were my brother I'd obviously tell him, but this guy will never find this out from me.

 
A buddy of mine who grew up had a high commission sales job cheated and had numerous affairs when he was in his thirties. Making big money lots of travel and unlimited expenses can lead to some wild behavior. I would never tell his wife nor my wife..it will go to my grave.

 
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Okay, I was wrong on principle in the other false start thread. :)

No. Mind yer business.

I would certainly say something to him though. And mention that if I'm hearing about it it's getting around and your wife is gonna hear it real soon.
This is the correct answer.
The word but in hereEta... :lol: fing autocorrect

The quoted part in here

 
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Wouldn't be a buddy long after seeing/reading it. Probably send an anonymous note for her to check out said bragging and be done with it/them. I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Better yet, tell her in a voice mail on her cell phone but inhale helium before leaving the information. She'll never guess who it is.
seems like a lot of work....not sure I'd care that much if they found out honestly.

 
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A key part for me is this is just a buddy you hang with and not my best friend and it also doesn't say how well I know the wife he is cheating on.

If it's my best friend I talk to him first without question no matter how well I know her or not.Just a buddy who isn't really that close does cloud the water here so if I don't know the wife that well I would talk to him first but if I'm friends with her more I would want her to know.

 
Wouldn't be a buddy long after seeing/reading it. Probably send an anonymous note for her to check out said bragging and be done with it/them. I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Better yet, tell her in a voice mail on her cell phone but inhale helium before leaving the information. She'll never guess who it is.
seems like a lot of work....not sure I'd care that much if they found out honestly.
Helium voice = badAnonymous note = ok

Interesting

Eta

:bag:

Reading comprehension = not good.

 
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Part of the question appears to be missing. . .

If you knew a buddy was cheating on his wife and bragging about it, would you tell her about it . . . and agree to have your mancard revoked in the process.
 
I could see circumstances going either way for me. i could see myself, in conversation, mentioning the wife may want to be tested for std's. I wouldn't have to tell the wife specifically. Gossip spreads fast.

 
If the guy is an acquaintance that I secretly don't like, his wife that's being cheated on is hot, and telling her could lead to some steamy revenge sex with me - then, yes, I may tell her.

Other than that perfect storm, though, I'm staying out of it.

 
I dunno why guys feel the need to let their buddies know they are cheating - it puts everyone in an awkward position. I've told my buddies in numerous joke conversations that even if I was ever cheating I'd never tell them.

 
Wouldn't be a buddy long after seeing/reading it. Probably send an anonymous note for her to check out said bragging and be done with it/them. I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Better yet, tell her in a voice mail on her cell phone but inhale helium before leaving the information. She'll never guess who it is.
seems like a lot of work....not sure I'd care that much if they found out honestly.
Helium voice = badAnonymous note = ok

Interesting

Eta

:bag:

Reading comprehension = not good.
:lmao:

 
I dunno why guys feel the need to let their buddies know they are cheating - it puts everyone in an awkward position. I've told my buddies in numerous joke conversations that even if I was ever cheating I'd never tell them.
I have a couple buddies who have strayed, some more than others, and I would honestly rather not know especially since all of our wives are friends for the most part.

 

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