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If you knew a buddy was cheating on his wife and bragging about it (1 Viewer)

Would you tell her?

  • yes

    Votes: 40 18.5%

  • no

    Votes: 176 81.5%
  • Total voters
    216
RUSF18 said:
Macdaddy_2004 said:
I dunno why guys feel the need to let their buddies know they are cheating - it puts everyone in an awkward position. I've told my buddies in numerous joke conversations that even if I was ever cheating I'd never tell them.
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I have a couple buddies who have strayed, some more than others, and I would honestly rather not know especially since all of our wives are friends for the most part.
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That's why his bragging about it is a factor. Dude is clearly a doosh and wants people to know it.

 
FUBAR said:
RUSF18 said:
Macdaddy_2004 said:
I dunno why guys feel the need to let their buddies know they are cheating - it puts everyone in an awkward position. I've told my buddies in numerous joke conversations that even if I was ever cheating I'd never tell them.
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I have a couple buddies who have strayed, some more than others, and I would honestly rather not know especially since all of our wives are friends for the most part.
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That's why his bragging about it is a factor. Dude is clearly a doosh and wants people to know it.
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That's the thing. If I somehow run into a guy who's going into a hotel room with someone other than his wife, do I tell her? No, I don't. If this ###hole is bragging to friends and strangers about what a great roll in the hay he's having with Juggy ChestBags, he's clearly intending to (or at least doesn't care at all about the fact that he's going to) publicly humiliate his wife. She does deserve to at least not be the last one to know out of everyone they know. I'd probably tell her if I knew her at all.

 
None of my friends would do this. So that only leaves people I'm friendly with. If that happened I'd minimize my contact. I'd doubt that I'd seek out the wife to inform her, but nor would I necessarily hide the information for him either.

And for people claiming a man card, sorry but that's bull####. I don't owe an ####### loyalty merely because we're the same gender.

 
spodog said:
Part of the question appears to be missing. . .

If you knew a buddy was cheating on his wife and bragging about it, would you tell her about it . . . and agree to have your mancard revoked in the process.
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Please stop using this stupid ####ing phrase. Also, it's a phrase, not a single word. Also, if you think sitting around and watching/listening to a woman get publicly humiliated by her husband is manly, and/or that failing to speak up about it because you're afraid of losing your "man card" is manly, you don't have any understanding of what "be a man" means.

 
Henry Ford said:
spodog said:
Part of the question appears to be missing. . .

If you knew a buddy was cheating on his wife and bragging about it, would you tell her about it . . . and agree to have your mancard revoked in the process.
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Please stop using this stupid ####ing phrase. Also, it's a phrase, not a single word. Also, if you think sitting around and watching/listening to a woman get publicly humiliated by her husband is manly, and/or that failing to speak up about it because you're afraid of losing your "man card" is manly, you don't have any understanding of what "be a man" means.
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around here it seems to mean "don't upset any male, under any circumstances, no matter if the guy is a worthless piece of ####"

 
No.

I would likely stop hanging around that "buddy" though. At least until they stopped, separated, started divorce proceedings, etc.

 
I would lose all respect for any friend who was cheating on his spouse. i wouldn't tell his wife as it's none of my damn business, but I wouldn't be friends with him any longer. I don't even know if that respect could come back, either.

 
Side question - if your wife were bragging to her friends and/or on the internet about some side piece, would you want one of them to tell you?

 
Henry Ford said:
Side question - if your wife were bragging to her friends and/or on the internet about some side piece, would you want one of them to tell you?
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Of course, that's why I would tell if I knew her at all. I also don't think I would continue to be friends with someone that brags about cheating on his wife.

 
A variation of this happened to me recently. On a golf trip with 8 guys, one of them confessed to be having an affair. He was remorseful when he first said something, but some of the single guys began celebrating it and jokingly planned a divorce party. (they don't care for the wife) His mood changed and he started embracing it. I called out the guys for acting like it was cool (it's just a scum bag move, especially with kids), but I would never think about telling anyone. It's not my place.

 
moleculo said:
I would lose all respect for any friend who was cheating on his spouse. i wouldn't tell his wife as it's none of my damn business, but I wouldn't be friends with him any longer. I don't even know if that respect could come back, either.
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If you have many friends at all I guarantee you one of them has cheated on his wife.

 
Some of you are referencing "if I was good friends with the wife". What does this mean? Are you saying as a married man you talk/text/hang out with a married woman without your spouses around? Or are you saying she is one of your wife's good friends and by marriage transitive properties she is your good friend?

 
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chauncey said:
Some of you are referencing "if I was good friends with the wife". What does this mean? Are you saying as a married man you talk/text/hang out with a married woman without your spouses around? Or are you saying she is one of your wife's good friends and by marriage transitive properties she is your good friend?
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My only female friends are ones that I was friends with before I was married. Still keep in touch, get together as a group occasionally, wife is always around, because they're her friends too. Work in a restaurant, everyone goes out together after work to the bar, do this with the same group of people for a year and you develop friendships. Once you're married are you supposed to sever all female friendships? Or did you just not have any female friends prior to wife?

 
avoiding injuries said:
A variation of this happened to me recently. On a golf trip with 8 guys, one of them confessed to be having an affair. He was remorseful when he first said something, but some of the single guys began celebrating it and jokingly planned a divorce party. (they don't care for the wife) His mood changed and he started embracing it. I called out the guys for acting like it was cool (it's just a scum bag move, especially with kids), but I would never think about telling anyone. It's not my place.
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yeah, that's not the same and is an easy call (you did it right)

 
Pretty sure there is a name for guys that would say something to the chick. Begins with a B and ends with an I-T-C-H.

 
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chauncey said:
Some of you are referencing "if I was good friends with the wife". What does this mean? Are you saying as a married man you talk/text/hang out with a married woman without your spouses around? Or are you saying she is one of your wife's good friends and by marriage transitive properties she is your good friend
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The only time "good friends" would apply for me would be when she is married to one of my good friends, and the 4 of us have spent a lot of time hanging out over the years. I'd say there's less than 10 women that would apply to for me, and maybe about half of those is where I'd end up calling her a good friend. I wouldn't hang out with her on my own, but random texts between me and her would happen...like if we're going to their place for dinner, I can text the wife asking what we should bring, and not text my buddy to ask his wife or have my wife ask her.

All that being said, I wouldn't tell any of those 5 women if I knew their husband was cheating.

 
cstu said:
moleculo said:
I would lose all respect for any friend who was cheating on his spouse. i wouldn't tell his wife as it's none of my damn business, but I wouldn't be friends with him any longer. I don't even know if that respect could come back, either.
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If you have many friends at all I guarantee you one of them has cheated on his wife.
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Likely. I could still be acquaintances and even friendly with said cheater, but we're not gonna be besties.

 
chauncey said:
Some of you are referencing "if I was good friends with the wife". What does this mean? Are you saying as a married man you talk/text/hang out with a married woman without your spouses around? Or are you saying she is one of your wife's good friends and by marriage transitive properties she is your good friend?
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I'm friends with a married couple. I've been friends with her for years, and met him through their dating. If he were cheating and I found out, it's extremely likely I would tell her.

Conversely, if she were cheating and I found out, it's extremely unlikely I would tell him. My loyalty is to my friends first and foremost.

 
In all seriousness, if I called the dude a friend, then I wouldn't say a word. It's their business and I stay out of other people's business...I have my own life to live.

However, if I were good friends with the chick and didn't really know the guy, I might be torn on whether to say something to her. But then you run the risk of them working things out and you being the guy that tried to sabotage their relationship.

It's better to play dumb.

 
Henry Ford said:
Warpig said:
Pretty sure there is a name for guys that would say something to the chick. Begins with a B and ends with an I-T-C-H.
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I'm pretty sure that's the name for a guy who brags about cheating on his wife.
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You can both be right.

You make an interesting point about the guy bragging about it though. That guy pretty much is a ##### and I definitely lose a lot of respect for him there... but I'm still not sure I tell his wife. Depends how good of a friend he is I suppose. If this guy is my best friend and I've known him for 10+ years... I probably don't throw all that away for this, even though it is pretty bad. It definitely brings him down a notch in my book... but I still don't tell.

 
Peyton Marino said:
Henry Ford said:
Warpig said:
Pretty sure there is a name for guys that would say something to the chick. Begins with a B and ends with an I-T-C-H.
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure that's the name for a guy who brags about cheating on his wife.
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You can both be right.

You make an interesting point about the guy bragging about it though. That guy pretty much is a ##### and I definitely lose a lot of respect for him there... but I'm still not sure I tell his wife. Depends how good of a friend he is I suppose. If this guy is my best friend and I've known him for 10+ years... I probably don't throw all that away for this, even though it is pretty bad. It definitely brings him down a notch in my book... but I still don't tell.
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Henry Ford said:
If you knew a buddy - not your best friend but some guy you hang out with - was cheating on his wife and bragging about it either in person or on the internet, would you tell her?
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Henry Ford said:
Peyton Marino said:
Henry Ford said:
Warpig said:
Pretty sure there is a name for guys that would say something to the chick. Begins with a B and ends with an I-T-C-H.
Click to expand...
I'm pretty sure that's the name for a guy who brags about cheating on his wife.
Click to expand...
You can both be right.

You make an interesting point about the guy bragging about it though. That guy pretty much is a ##### and I definitely lose a lot of respect for him there... but I'm still not sure I tell his wife. Depends how good of a friend he is I suppose. If this guy is my best friend and I've known him for 10+ years... I probably don't throw all that away for this, even though it is pretty bad. It definitely brings him down a notch in my book... but I still don't tell.
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Henry Ford said:
If you knew a buddy - not your best friend but some guy you hang out with - was cheating on his wife and bragging about it either in person or on the internet, would you tell her?
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Well yea, I just skimmed your question. Why would I need to read the question carefully to give my opinion...

:bag:

 
I have a very good friend that is cheating on his wife. He has told me about it. I may be the only person he has told. I have encouraged him to figure his life out etc, but there is no way in heck I am telling his wife.

 
Henry Ford said:
Side question - if your wife were bragging to her friends and/or on the internet about some side piece, would you want one of them to tell you?
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I think I described this in some other thread about cheating, but a couple years ago my wife was in a group that met up for meetings once per month where they all stayed overnight in a hotel. A married guy and married woman started ####### when they would meet up. The whole group knew about it -- they didn't actively go out of their way to tell people, but apparently didn't do a very good job of trying to conceal it either.

My wife and I, along with a bunch of other people from her group, were subsequently invited to two different parties hosted by the woman cheater and her husband. So there were lots of us at the party who knew that this guy was being cheated on. I don't think any of us seriously entertained the possibility of telling him. I had some nice conversations with him, he seemed happy as best as I could tell. It's a few years later now and the couple is still together and seem to be doing fine.

 
If I have a friend who is cheating I really don't need to know. I certainly wouldn't tell. I have been put in that position including once when both of them were playing around and asking my advice. And I was involved for three years with a woman who wanted to have an open relationship but I wasn't into it so we broke it off. It just seems like an awful lot of unnecessary stress to me.

 
chauncey said:
Some of you are referencing "if I was good friends with the wife". What does this mean? Are you saying as a married man you talk/text/hang out with a married woman without your spouses around? Or are you saying she is one of your wife's good friends and by marriage transitive properties she is your good friend?
Click to expand...
Didn't we just have a thread about this?

 
Henry Ford said:
Side question - if your wife were bragging to her friends and/or on the internet about some side piece, would you want one of them to tell you?
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Anyone being "victimized" is going to want to know, but that's a radically different position to be in than the bystander-friend that the original question posed.

 
I honestly don't know. I think it would depend on a whole host of factors. And in thinking that I feel like that is wrong too. :shrug: Never been in that spot. I do know, though, that if a friend was openly flaunting an affair he wouldn't be a friend for very long.

 
T Bell said:
Henry Ford said:
Side question - if your wife were bragging to her friends and/or on the internet about some side piece, would you want one of them to tell you?
Click to expand...
Anyone being "victimized" is going to want to know, but that's a radically different position to be in than the bystander-friend that the original question posed.
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Well, if he's the one being a jerk, and anyone would want to know... it seems like an easy choice.

 
Warpig said:
In all seriousness, if I called the dude a friend, then I wouldn't say a word. It's their business and I stay out of other people's business...I have my own life to live.

However, if I were good friends with the chick and didn't really know the guy, I might be torn on whether to say something to her. But then you run the risk of them working things out and you being the guy that tried to sabotage their relationship.

It's better to play dumb.
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Pretty sure that's what the cheater is doing, not you.

 
The question to me is...would you like to know if your S.O. was cheating and rubbing it in with friends?

Bill is cheating on Mary. Are Bill and Mary good friends of mine? IF the answer is no = no

Bill is cheating on Mary. Are Bill and Mary good friends of mine? IF the answer is yes = Maybe

Is Bill a DBAG if the answer is yes = yes

 
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