LOVE/HATE #2
121. Temporary Secretary (
McCartney II, 1980)
Spotify YouTube
(Paul #53)
I need a…!
I was playing my Paul mix in the car with my Mom and stepfather, and this song came on. As a car, we were 2/3 in the “love it” and 1/3 in the “hate it” camps. It’s hard to think of another Paul song that could be as polarizing as this one. As usual, I’m not going to try to convince someone to love something that isn’t their cup of Earl Grey, but I simply love this wacky track. Mostly reviled (or ignored) like the rest of McCartney II upon its release, it’s become a huge cult favorite with fans and DJs everywhere and, more surprisingly, with the press. Rolling Stone ranked it as the #36 best post-Beatles song from Paul (no, I’m not going to look at that list but merely read this on Wiki and trust it’s true), and NME listed it as the 167th greatest song of all time. I couldn’t contain my curiosity on that latter list, so I looked it up and see that this song is one slot behind (Binky, ahead of) “Fight For Your Right To Party” and one ahead of a song called “Daniel” by “Bat For Lashes” and I haven’t a clue what that is. For those curious, #1 was “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
Anyway, there’s no question this song is nuts, not just for its time, but possibly for any time. We all know that Paul was the biggest experimenter of the bunch, and in this case he was just playing around with a sequencer and came up with the opening of the song, with a rhythmic pattern that sounded to Paul like a typewriter. Over that futuristic loop he then added the other instrumentation and finally that weird, nasally vocal. Paul has said that he was influenced by Ian Dury on this song.
The lyrics and the vocal sprung from the name of an actual temp agency (Alfred Marks) and something Paul thought was just a funny notion, the idea of a temporary secretary: ““It’s like a disposable secretary, and it struck me as being funny. The song is written from the point of view of a fellow who just wants a disposable secretary, and he’s writing to a bureau to try and get one. … I just thought it was funny, you know, asking for a temporary secretary rather than a secretary.” Barrel of laughs, that Paul. But really, to me the song is funny. The flat vocal – was this how Paul hears businesspeople talk, all formal and unaffected? – the lyrics with their double meanings (does he want a secretary or a, hmmm, secretary), the frenetic madness of that underlying loop from the sequencer, the repetition, the atonality of the bizarre chord progressions, and especially the build on that crazy bridge and those bird-like squawks at the end. All of it amuses me every time. I understand the lyrics might be considered sexist at this point, but I don’t really see it. They’re hilarious.
Paul released this as a single in 1981 but only issued 25,000 copies, all of which were immediately purchased and remain one of the hardest-to-find Paul records today. Believe it or not, Paul performed this song on tour dates in 2015-2017.
Mark OH in the “love” camp, too: “This is truly oddball music. You really have to admire his willingness to look ####### ridiculous. Punk rockers or outsider musicians affect that they don’t give a damn, but he truly did not give a ####. “I was in the ####### Beatles.” I’m perfectly willing to waste your ####### time and mine. It’s so strange – there’s all these weird sounds but it’s super minimal-sounding. It’s more automated and brutal than Kraftwerk. If Suicide were well adjusted people and had good equipment, they would have made this record. An absolutely out of left field song. You have to respect that. It’s not for me – it’s not for anybody but Paul McCartney – but it’s really compelling, the lyrics are absurd. Where TF did that come from? How do you just do that? Minimalist electronic weirdo bands that came out in the late 70s, like Kraftwerk or Gary Numan or Suicide or even like Devo, they had an over-arching gestalt, a theme. Paul McCartney didn’t. Those bands, their aesthetic came out of their conception of the music they wanted to make, and the music was a product of it. That’s how they achieved their goal. Paul McCartney didn’t have a manifesto, he’s just like “I’ve got this stuff.” Where TF did it come from? It’s legit strange. I can see why at the time critics probably hated this ####. Gotta give it up.”
I need a…!