List your top 5 SNL skits of all time. In no particular order (1 Viewer)

[Encyclopedia Brown]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

This still makes me laugh. Every time.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

This still makes me laugh. Every time.

The look on Sinatra's face as he's saying the line is killer, too.So many priceless moments in the skit, but I think my favorite is when Sinead O'Connor says she doesn't understand what the fuss is about her hair compared to all the suffering in the world, then the camera cuts to Sinatra making the motion.

The whole sketch is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.And I'm completely lost about all of this Debbie Downer love. I thought AE was the only fan of that crap.

 

[jdoggydogg]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

This still makes me laugh. Every time.

I got pieces of guys like you in my stool.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

This still makes me laugh. Every time.

I got pieces of guys like you in my stool.

Chunks.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

you got it kid, now you listen to me.. you've got a ben vereen quality

 

[Pip's Invitation]

4) An old one where 5'2" Paul Simon was playing Connie Hawkins in one-on-one basketball

A bigger mismatch than Barney vs. Charles Barkley. I don't recall the exact wording, but during Simon's pre-game interview, he said that to win, he needed to stick to his strengths: singing and songwriting.

Barkley's in another favorite of mine, as a cop who busts the head shop run by Rob Schneider, who says "you put your WEED in it" to all customers.

Cop: Hey. Is that your Volkswagon van parked out front?Shopkeeper: Look, man, there's nothing in here that you could put weed into!Cop: I just wanted to tell you that you left your lights on. I turned them off for you.Shopkeeper: Okay, maybe there's some things in here that you put tobacco into, or incense or spices into, but definitely not weed!Cop: What the hell are you talking about?Shopkeeper: Okay. I guess, if this opened up, you could put weed in it, but I can't get it open. [ Cop opens it ] It's not like there's weed in there!Cop: [ holds up the weed ] What is this?Shopkeeper: Weed.

 

[The Z Machine]

One of my favorites is with Christopher Walken and the Centaur.

Here's a transcript:

Boss: I'm sorry, Dr. Wallace.. but I'm afraid we're looking for someone with a little more experience to fill our Chief Resident position.

Applicant: I understand. So, did I get the job?

Boss: No. you didn't.

Applicant: [ relieved ] Thank you! You won't regret this! I'll see you Monday morning!

Boss: You didn't get the job. [ Applicant exits, as he speaks into his intercom ] Debbie.. please send in the next applicant.

[ Centaur enters ]

You must be Dr. Lemmon. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. You've come highly recommended.

Centaur: Well, a couple of those recommendations came from Yale men, so I hope you won't hold that against me.

Boss: [ laughs ] Well.. as you know, we're becoming a teaching hospital. Sit, please. [ he does, but the Centaur remains standing ] Our new Chief Resident will help lead that transition.

Centaur: Uh, well.. at Johns-Hopkins, I actually shared the faculty committee that oversaw coordination between the school and the hospital.

Boss: As I said, your qualifications are most impressive.

Centaur: Thank you.

Boss: Now.. would you mind if I asked you a few questions about being a Centaur?

Centaur: Please. Go ahead. Believe me, I've heard them all?

Boss: Can I ride you?

Centaur: [ chuckles ] Only if I can ride you!

Boss: [ chuckles back ] Fair enough. Moving on.. could you enter yourself in the Kentucky Derby?

Centaur: Hmm.. I don't know..

Boss: If you did.. would you have to have a little horse riding on you, like instead of a jockey?

Centaur: I.. I see what you're saying.. but, again, I don't know.

Boss: Because, it seems like you already have a jockey with the person part of you.

Centaur: Right.. uh, are we going to discuss my medical qualifications..?

Boss: The rest of the interview will be Centaur questions. Do you have sex with horses, or with human women?

Centaur: Uh.. neither. I'm really only attracted to other Centaurs.

Boss: Okay. What if were a horse with a mask of a woman on it?

Centaur: No. I mean, would you have sex with a monkey if it had a mask on?

Boss: This interview is not about me. What if you saw a horse, but it was standing so that its head was in a barn, or something. Would you, maybe, be attracted to that horse's rear end?

Centaur: Uh.. I don't.. where is the head, exactly?

Boss: It's in the barn.. or behind a door, or a vase, or something.. so you can't see it.

Centaur: Uh.. I might be attracted to it - briefly.

Boss: Okay. So, let's say, hypothetically, that you could have sex with the back end.. and it's guranteed to be the greatest sex you ever had.. but you'd never know if it was as horse or as Centaur?

Centaur: Hmm.. you know, that's pretty intriguing.. uh.. if I'd really never know, I guess I would.

Boss: It was a horse.

Centaur: Oh, come on!

Boss: It was a horse. Deal with it. Now.. could you make the back half of you into glue, and then could the person part of you use that glue to repair a bird feeder?

Centaur: Yes.

Boss: Do you dump wherever you're standing, or do you use toilets? Or, do you use some magical Centaur toilet?

Centaur: We use regular bathrooms.

Boss: Do you use special Centaur toilet paper?

Centaur: Nope. We use nortmal toilet paper.

Boss: How do you reach back there.. to wipe yourself?

Centaur: Uh.. there is a device we use, it's called an Aubesian - it's a stainless steel telescoping rod, with gripper claws, and a sort of toggle line that allows you to move the paper back and forth.

Boss: So.. there's a company that manufactures Centaur asswipers?

Centaur: Aubesians, yes. Um.. there's a store that's a sort of crate-and-barrel for Centaurs, called Aubesians & Such.. there's one on 57th Street.

Boss: I've seen that establishment. You eat steak.. is that some kind of cannibalism?

Centaur: I'm sorry, could we return to a line of questioning related to my medical qualifications?

Boss: Absolutely. Let me just find the right paperwork.. [ looks through his notes ] Um.. here we go.. Is there Centaur pornography?

Centaur: That is not a medical question!

Boss: Do you want this job?

Centaur: [ sighs ] Yes, there is Centaur porn.

Boss: If I were to watch Centaur porn.. but with the bottom of the screen blocked out with a piece of cardboard.. would I find the human halves of the female actresses appealing?

Centaur: Well.. maybe.. But you've got to remember that, at some point, there's gonna be a horse penis in there.

Boss: Fair enough. I think that's all the Centaur questions I have. I want to thank you for coming in, we'll be in touch.

Centaur: I appreciate it. Um.. can I just ask you: did I get the job?

Boss: No. I'm sorry.. we don't hire dirty Centaurs.

Absolutely fantastic. Walken is over the top.

 

[wikkidpissah]

some i havent seen mentioned:

- the very 1st one ("i will feed your fingertips to the wolverines") - i'm one of those old enough to have seen the Beatles on Ed Sullivan and the 1st SNL live and, while i knew the world had changed when the Beatles came on, no cultural event changed my life like that 1st show. i was a young comedy writer (standups, radio) at the time and, watching Mike O'Ds insanity, Belushi's heart attack & Chase's bewildered stagehand break in to say those 6 words for the 1st time was like seeing the Holy Grail in the sky. I didn't stop from that moment til i had my own mildly successful radio version of SNL (Zero Hour), which i am proud to say ended up syndicated in a few minor markets @ 11pm as a lead in to the SNL party experience and prouder to say had a sketch stolen (not a very good one: "Gary Gilmore Xmas Special" - Jim Downey confirmed this to me yrs later) for the show and got the chance to audition for the 2nd cast. So all subsequent sketches pale in impact and delight to that first comedy lightning bolt.

- Fred Garvin Male Prostitute

- Gary Gilmore Xmas Special (so shoot me)

- the one with Tim Meadows as a census taker and Christopher Walken as his strangest quarry (this one just melts me & it never gets mentioned)

- tho its been mentioned, gotta say "**** in a Box" is the most perfectly formed sketch in the history of the show (if not comedy itself)

nufced

 

[the moops]

 

[GSCGal]

Can't list 5 favorites so I'll list 5 that no one has listed yet:

1. The phony infomercial with the racist Heather Locklear

2. Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein on a talk show (with Phil Hartman breaking character and destroying the set )

3. The Penis Song

4. Mr. Short Term Memory ("Hey, a wallet!" "That's your wallet!" "It is now!")

5. since "Get Off The Shed" was already mentioned, I'll nominate the Mr. Peepers skit with The Rock as Mr. Peepers' dad

YES!

 

[GSCGal]

Another favorite that I don't think has been mentioned is DeNiro as a Homeland Security Spokesman. He barely keeps it together.

Link

 

[[scooter]]

Can't list 5 favorites so I'll list 5 that no one has listed yet:

1. The phony infomercial with the racist Heather Locklear

2. Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein on a talk show (with Phil Hartman breaking character and destroying the set )

3. The Penis Song

4. Mr. Short Term Memory ("Hey, a wallet!" "That's your wallet!" "It is now!")

5. since "Get Off The Shed" was already mentioned, I'll nominate the Mr. Peepers skit with The Rock as Mr. Peepers' dad

YES!

video

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney

Chris: Uh, remember when you were in the Beatles and you wrote that 'in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make'? Paul: Yes.

Chris: Is that true?

Far and away this is my favorite. Even my 17 year old daughter things that is one of the funniest skits she has ever seen.Also a big fan of Jeopardy - Anal Bum Cover, The Rapists

Colon blow - funny commercial

Some of the Spartan skits with Ferrell were hilarious

Farley as the motivational speaker guy - van down by the river

Chevy Chase - Jane Curtin on Weekend Update

I think the funniest parts are when the actors themselves lose their composure over how funny the show is.

 

[[scooter]]

How could I forget "Wake Up And Smile" with David Alan Grier, Will Ferrell and and Nancy Walls as morning talk show hosts who freak out when the teleprompter breaks.

"WE MUST USE THE FURNITURE TO BUILD A BARRICADE!!"

 

[Mr. Pickles]

How could I forget "Wake Up And Smile" with David Alan Grier, Will Ferrell and and Nancy Walls as morning talk show hosts who freak out when the teleprompter breaks.

"WE MUST USE THE FURNITURE TO BUILD A BARRICADE!!"

link

 

[RudiStein]

Quintlexia

 

[shuke]

A few of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned:

1. Maya Rudolph as Oprah - women in crowd going nuts about everything Oprah said, ripping off each others limbs and stuff.

2. Norm McDonald doing the news. Actually, Norm doing anything. So underrated.

3. Christopher Walken and the census taker.

 

[Al Czervik]

Enough, Uncle Fester.

Next issue. Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner. Who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both..

Your moneys on the dresser baby, I'm through with you.

 

[jdoggydogg]

A few of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned:

1. Maya Rudolph as Oprah - women in crowd going nuts about everything Oprah said, ripping off each others limbs and stuff.

2. Norm McDonald doing the news. Actually, Norm doing anything. So underrated.

3. Christopher Walken and the census taker.

He was awesome. No one has done the news like him in years.

 

[benztoronto]

Alec Baldwin - Always Be Cobbling (parody of scene from Glengarry Glen Ross)

 

[Das Boot]

some i havent seen mentioned:- the very 1st one ("i will feed your fingertips to the wolverines") - i'm one of those old enough to have seen the Beatles on Ed Sullivan and the 1st SNL live and, while i knew the world had changed when the Beatles came on, no cultural event changed my life like that 1st show. i was a young comedy writer (standups, radio) at the time and, watching Mike O'Ds insanity, Belushi's heart attack & Chase's bewildered stagehand break in to say those 6 words for the 1st time was like seeing the Holy Grail in the sky. I didn't stop from that moment til i had my own mildly successful radio version of SNL (Zero Hour), which i am proud to say ended up syndicated in a few minor markets @ 11pm as a lead in to the SNL party experience and prouder to say had a sketch stolen (not a very good one: "Gary Gilmore Xmas Special" - Jim Downey confirmed this to me yrs later) for the show and got the chance to audition for the 2nd cast. So all subsequent sketches pale in impact and delight to that first comedy lightning bolt.- Fred Garvin Male Prostitute- Gary Gilmore Xmas Special (so shoot me)- the one with Tim Meadows as a census taker and Christopher Walken as his strangest quarry (this one just melts me & it never gets mentioned)- tho its been mentioned, gotta say "**** in a Box" is the most perfectly formed sketch in the history of the show (if not comedy itself)nufced

If this is true... very cool. Missed the 1st episode but started watching around episode 3... and from then on taped every single episode on audio tape straight from the tv and listened to them over and over. It was truly groundbreaking stuff.

 

[The Z Machine]

Here's the Centaur Interview I was talking about. Walken kills me.

 

[zftcg]

The one where Martin Short's wounded army platoon needed him to go upstairs in an abandon house and call for help but he didnt know how to climb stairs because he grew up in midwest where everything was flat.

OK, I know this thread is long dormant, but I'm trying to recall another skit that ran around the same time and had a similar setting. The premise was that the army platoon had discovered a potential spy, and Jim Belushi was trying to ferret him out. They initially ask the guy who led the '27 Yankees in home runs, but Belushi's character declares that to be too easy a question, and asks him a bunch of obscure baseball questions (something like the rest of Yankees starting lineup). The guy proceeds to answer every one of them, but when he gets to the last one, Belushi says he got it wrong, and shoots him. At which point one of the other soldiers informs him that the guy was actually right, and Belushi shrugs and says, "Too bad. We really could have used his baseball knowledge."

Is this ringing a bell with anyone? I can't remember enough about the skit to Google any details about it, but I'm pretty sure Rich Hall was also in it. Would love to find a video, or at least a transcript.