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"Manly" stuff you can't/don't do (1 Viewer)

Don Quixote said:
Wife found a dead chipmunk in a closet and asked me to care of it.  Boozed myself up a little bit and went to take care of it, but then proceeded to start having dry heaves.  Wife eventually picked it up.  :bag:
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I can and will happily deal with anything dead, or bugs, or spiders for her.   Kids/Dog/Cat hair balls/vomit makes me hurl in seconds. I can't go near it.

 
Don Quixote said:
Wife found a dead chipmunk in a closet and asked me to care of it.  Boozed myself up a little bit and went to take care of it, but then proceeded to start having dry heaves.  Wife eventually picked it up.  :bag:
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:lol:     we had a mouse infestation several years ago... I had to pick up a few "used" traps... poor little mousies  :oldunsure:

 
I can't unhook a fish. Fishing is fun, and I'm actually pretty decent at it...but I'm always skeeved out at the feel of a slimy struggling fish trying to get it off the hook. So if someone's there to do it for me, we all good.  :D

 
Zow said:
Same here.  I've never owned a tool set  I'm 100% worthless around the house. I am so bad at even the easiest tasks such as raking leaves, mowing the grass, etc. Only job I've ever been fired from was a landscaping job and it wasn't due to lack of effort/not showing/poor behavior it was purely because I sucked at it. 
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Ha, my garage looks like I'm a tool guy. Full rolling tool chest, 8 ft workbench, every saw known, including a table saw. Pegboard above bench with all kinds of tools on it. Looks like I might know what I'm doing. 

Dad gave me every tool I own. Don't know what half of them do.

Dad: "Go get me a widget remover of awesomeness"

Me: "Dad, I don't have one of those"

Dad (indignant) "WHAT DO YA MEAN. I gave you one of those 7 years ago, don't you remember?"

Me: "Hmm, maybe you better go get it"

I also have all these various car/lawn implement fan belts hanging from shelves. Thanks Dad, wth am I ever going to do with those?

I essentially use screw drivers, pliers, wrenches, drill. Everything else is for show haha

 
Also, I don’t give a crap about being "dared" into doing something. For some/many, it’s a test of manhood to do something gross or stupid or dangerous.

if I don’t want to do it, I don’t. Your peer pressure has zero affect on me. 

 
nirad3 said:
:lol:     we had a mouse infestation several years ago... I had to pick up a few "used" traps... poor little mousies  :oldunsure:
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I once dealt with a dead mouse after taking off my eyeglasses, so it would be a bit more abstract and I would not have to see it as clearly.  Dead rodents is clearly a struggle for me.

 
Ranethe said:
Ha, my garage looks like I'm a tool guy. Full rolling tool chest, 8 ft workbench, every saw known, including a table saw. Pegboard above bench with all kinds of tools on it. Looks like I might know what I'm doing. 

Dad gave me every tool I own. Don't know what half of them do.

Dad: "Go get me a widget remover of awesomeness"

Me: "Dad, I don't have one of those"

Dad (indignant) "WHAT DO YA MEAN. I gave you one of those 7 years ago, don't you remember?"

Me: "Hmm, maybe you better go get it"

I also have all these various car/lawn implement fan belts hanging from shelves. Thanks Dad, wth am I ever going to do with those?

I essentially use screw drivers, pliers, wrenches, drill. Everything else is for show haha
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:lol: Same here.

When we bought our house in Austin I built a pretty nifty workbench, complete with pegboard for all the widgets.  I can't recall one thing I actually "built" using the bench though.  

That said, the wife and I did convert a little shed in the backyard into a fully-functional chicken coop at that same house.  

 
NewlyRetired said:
I don't change the oil in my cars.
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Same here.  My local garage will do it for $35.  If I went to the auto parts story to buy oil and filter, I'd be over $20 minimum.  My time is worth more than the $15 an hour I'm saving myself.  My dad did team me as a kid, so I can do it, but not without frustration and wasted time that could be spent chillin.

Zow said:
Same here.  I've never owned a tool set.  I'm 100% worthless around the house. I am so bad at even the easiest tasks such as raking leaves, mowing the grass, etc. Only job I've ever been fired from was a landscaping job and it wasn't due to lack of effort/not showing/poor behavior it was purely because I sucked at it. 

Some others: 

1. Can't drive a stick. 

2. I don't think farts are funny.  Like at all. 

3. I have zero desire to fight another man and will avoid fights at most costs. 
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Same, other than the first.  My dad let me drive his '84 Celica when I was in college.  It wasn't that fast, but it handles like it was on rails.  Super fun to drive.  He got a little frustrated with Toyota when he had to replace the clutch twice.  I never owned up that was probably my fault due to popping the clutch, but I've since learned to drive stick a little better.

Getzlaf15 said:
I changed the batteries in one of those keypad front doors last week.   When I finished, my first thought was I need a vacation.
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My grandest accomplishment was installing one of those keypad door locks on my house.  Whenever I do anything like this, once finished I drop my tools and pronounce "I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!" a la Billy Madison.

 
I feel bad killing insects in my house. I try to let flies out the window, I'll grab beetles or pinch some spiders into a napkin and toss em outside.

Only things that get killed are ants, cause those can lead to an infestation, and f### mosquitoes. I really take pleasure in killing mosquitoes.

 
Bull Dozier said:
I'm generally worthless at fixing things.  Small things, sure.  But anything requiring tools other than a hammer, screwdriver, or drill and I'm out.
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My wife's parents come out once a year to visit. We save up stuff to fix around the house for my super-handy father in law.  :bag:

 
I owned a stick shift for a year or so when I was around 19 or 20.  But it's been decades ...before renting a car last January in South Africa.  That car was a stick ...and they drive on the opposite side of the road!  The first hour was comical.  I felt better after I stopped somewhere and asked someone how to shift into reverse (lift a ring, and then up and over).  The only real difficulty was parallel parking at one point.

And:

- I've never shot a gun

- I do take care of many of my own projects.  In fact, I kinda set our attached garage on fire last night.   :D   Heat gunning some old paint under the gutters, and right at the end, working in the corner of the garage, a bunch of smoke started up.  I must have ignited some rotted wood underneath or something.  My hose was very close ...but not connected.  So I had a nice comedy schtick for a minute scrambling to connect the hose to hose down that corner before all #### broke loose (while wrestling with whether to be unmanly and call the fire department).  I got the hose connected and quickly doused whatever was burning.  Then I did play it safe and ask the FD to stop by and confirm that things were back under control.

 
I can't drink shots of liquor without activating my gag reflex.

I don't know how to ride/drive a motorcycle.

I can't whistle loudly, only melodically.

 
Bull Dozier said:
My grandest accomplishment was installing one of those keypad door locks on my house.  Whenever I do anything like this, once finished I drop my tools and pronounce "I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!" a la Billy Madison.
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Whenever I finish any home project, my wife has to deal with my "hey, did you check out the new X?" schtick for the next week+. 

Back gate, keypad lock, stepping stones for path around back of the house, fence repair...heck, even changing a light bulb. ;)  

"Hey, babe, you see that sweet new LED light bulb in the back porch lamp?" 

Cracks me up, at least. 

 
ShamrockPride said:
I feel bad killing insects in my house. I try to let flies out the window, I'll grab beetles or pinch some spiders into a napkin and toss em outside.

Only things that get killed are ants, cause those can lead to an infestation, and f### mosquitoes. I really take pleasure in killing mosquitoes.
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This. Started out because my wife didn't want me killing them, but after nearly a decade even if she's not around I don't kill them anymore. Except yellow jackets, ants, mosquitoes, or roaches. They die no matter what.

One of my dogs caught a baby rabbit a few months ago, dead squirrel's, rats, mice, I can handle and have many times in the past. But I was a little broken up at the cute little mangled rabbit. Let me turn in my mancard.

 
Never had to remove any dead mice, but I've removed 1/2 dozen or so dead bats.

Don't hunt. When I was a kid I was out with some friends who were shoot/hunting. I killed a bird with another guy's shotgun. Didn't care for it. Maybe if it was something I could bring home to eat I would have felt differently.

Don't fish. Boring and buggy.

Don't change the oil anymore. Can't just dump the old oil in the ground like the old days.

Don't do any real home improvement stuff anymore. Was never particularly good at it, but would figure things out. Just don't feel like it.

Don't really drink beer. Maybe had a total of 1 case in the last 40+ years.

Not interested in fighting anyone.

Probably can't bench 1/2 my weight. Haven't been in a gym in 20+ years.

 
I have wrestled a bear, swam with sharks, and removed a 6 foot gator from a pool by myself, but my daughter calls my wife to kill any spider she sees because she knows I hate those things.

I have dived off a 70 foot cliff, skied off of a 90 foot cornice and been under fire multiple times, but I hate it when there is a Miller moth buzzing around my head in my car.

I am atrocious at tying a bow tie.

 
Mr. Ected said:
I had a lesson or two before heading over to Europe in my early 20s. Went over for a college friend's wedding in Luxemborg. Flew into Brussels morning of wedding, I was the best of the three of us in the little rental car we had with a 5 speed manual, so I took the driver's seat in the middle of the city and since this was the pre-GPS era, had my fluent French speaking friend be co-pilot and we headed off to the wedding a couple hours away. That was a fun ride! did a couple weeks driving around France and learned to do the manual well, would not want to be the person who rode that car next, the clutch was probably dead!!
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Similar for me. We were heading to Italy for the first time, so a friend at work took me out once at lunch and let me drive his car. Did it around the parking lot a bit and thought I was ready. Our first stop was Venice, so we didn't need a car but picked one up for our next stop in Florence. I made it about a mile before I had to pull off the main road and find another lot to get a little practice in. Maybe about 10-15 minutes worth. I did ok the rest of the trip but kept that thing revved pretty high to Florence and on to Rome. The hills were a ##### in traffic as were the roundabouts. And yes, no GPS. Hell of a trip though! My wife and I still laugh about many parts of the drive.

I also won't hunt but used a gun a few times when I was younger at targets.

I used to change my oil in older cars but won't anymore.

 
Getzlaf15 said:
one thing I really excel at.
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What in the world is WRONG with you people?

Read thru the entire thread and couldn't find one thing that I couldn't / haven't done.

I'm at least glad to see 2 FBG posted they can back up a trailer.

I imagine the rest of you would look like this: Boat Ramp 

 
could hold the Mrs by the behind off the floor & bang standing up.  Now I'm either not as strong or she is too big.

[slump]

 
belljr said:
I don't hunt or fish

ETA: I have hunted on occasion and fished when I was younger.   I don't do it now 
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same here.  My dad didn't do it ...he said that's what the grocery store is for.  He grew up poor and had to do that stuff in order to eat so it wasn't for him.  

Same for fixing things.  He had like one tool - a long screwdriver.  He used it as a height lever for our grill.  I did learn how to do a lot of stuff after we bought our first home, but hated doing it.  So now, I don't fix/build stuff.  

 
Did lots of fishing growing up and killed a few Bambi's. Don't really miss either that much. Don't know anything about cars. Not handy around the house. Can't stand painting. Once bought a kit to repair my garage door opener from Sears and followed a YouTube video. Felt pretty good about myself after that. Don't take care of my own pool. My yard needs serious work. Have dirt spots where grass should be. Irrigation needs to be fixed. Pulled weeds constantly for a few years before a wisened up and hired landscapers. They don't do much but come once a month and I don't have to waste hours on weeds. Im pretty much a woman. My rack is real and spectacular.

 
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Feeling better about myself. 

- It seems I am handier than most. Have my own wood working shop and love wood turning. Have restored my own car and used to change my own oil (don't now for same reasons as mentioned earlier). Can drive a stick, but haven't in years. Have shot a gun and used a fishing pole effectively, even own a gun, but it is currently out of state. Need get my FID. Have done my own reasonable plumbing and electrical work. Heck, I've even done some completely unreasonable septic system repairs. Rodent removal is and will always be my job.

- Have taken lessons on a motorcycle years ago, but zero desire to do so now. Know way too many who've dropped them, some of them with horrid results. 

- Won't do plumbing if involves gas or major repairs (think water tank). 

- No real interest to straight bourbon,whiskey, scotch. Tried them all, just not my drink.

 - Have and can take down trees, but draw the line at stuff that can a) kill me if it falls the wrong way or b) damage property.

 
My father is super handy and has rebuilt 3 houses a room at a time.

He owned is own ball field company.

He was director for the public works and a mechanic.

I thank him for instilling a lot of that stuff in me.  I'm no where near as knowledgeable as he is with that type of stuff and frankly don't care as much. BUT if I had to I could.

 
I suck at hanging stuff on walls.  Gutters, changing oil in lawn mower, snow blowers.  Can't really fix anything and when I do something so small, I feel way better than I should.

Like taking apart the Roomba and changing the brushes/cleaning watching Youtube video while doing it.

I've always been the organizer/computer/numbers "handy" guy.

 
Don Quixote said:
Wife found a dead chipmunk in a closet and asked me to care of it.  Boozed myself up a little bit and went to take care of it, but then proceeded to start having dry heaves.  Wife eventually picked it up.  :bag:
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A couple months into our marriage and the wifey and I bought our first house.  The second night there I come home from work real late at night, wife is screaming “HELP!” from the living room.  I run to see what’s going on, she’s on top of dining table and points down to empty floor with largest housekeeper spider I’ve ever seen.  I yell “##### that!” and run into the bedroom leaving her to fight Shelob on her own.  It ran away and we never confirmed it’s demise.  We moved 6 months later to a bigger house.  I’ve since gotten much better with that phobia, as I’ve had to kill numerous wolf spiders, the kind that carry the baby spiders on their back

 
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Bull Dozier said:
I'm generally worthless at fixing things.  Small things, sure.  But anything requiring tools other than a hammer, screwdriver, or drill and I'm out.
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That's me.

I can use basic tools and do basic household things. But if the AC goes down? If something needs re-wiring? Appliances? 

I pick up the phone and help the economy.

 
Todem said:
That's me.

I can use basic tools and do basic household things. But if the AC goes down? If something needs re-wiring? Appliances? 

I pick up the phone and help the economy.
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I will trouble shoot and may figure out what is wrong but don't necessarily always fix the problem myself

 
Oh yeah....so I deal with all the critters, insects etc.

Had to set some rat traps in my backyard as we live on the water. Had a few spring off. One time...the freaking rat was still alive....my wife was screaming as it was moving with it's head clamped to the freaking spring trap.....had me in stitches. 

I picked it up by the tail....took it to the side of the house out of my wifes view and gave him a quick death.

Spiders...roaches....all have to meet their demise by my shoe.

 
That one guy said:
A couple months into our marriage and the wifey and I bought our first house.  The second night there I come home from work real late at night, wife is screaming “HELP!” from the living room.  I run to see what’s going on, she’s on top of dining table and points down to empty floor with largest housekeeper spider I’ve ever seen.  I yell “##### that!” and run into the bedroom leaving her to fight Shelob on her own.  It ran away and we never confirmed it’s demise.  We moved 6 months later to a bigger house.  I’ve sense gotten much better with that phobia, as I’ve had to kill numerous wolf spiders, the kind that carry the baby spiders on their back
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Hate these things. They invade our house every fall, to the point where every time you have to walk out into the foyer you have to stop and do a visual sweep. These things seem to have an uncanny intelligence too; when you spot one they freeze until-as if they can read your mind-you make the decision to kill it. In that exact instant they take off, faster than hell. Some of those are huge too. The million little babies jumping off the backs just adds to the freakiness. We probably kill 50-75 every fall.

 
As the only guy in the house with the 3 ladies in my life, I probably get more credit for doing man stuff than I'm really due, esp when dead animals are involved or house has probs.

I've never really done the hunt / fish / gun thing.  I can do basic car stuff (oil, stick shift, change tire), but I'm not really a car guy and prefer to farm this out. 

I haven't been able to master spliting logs and I don't know any knots besides the bunny ears one. 

 
Brony said:
I haven't been able to master spliting logs and I don't know any knots besides the bunny ears one. 
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Don't know any knots either, I flunked that part of Boy Scouts.

I can cut with a chain saw easily enough, but the last time I went Elk hunting after we cut some downed logs into rounds we had to split them with an ax for firewood. Yeah, I had no idea what the hell I was doing and my father-in-law and brother-in-law are splitting them at a saw mills pace. Turns out my father-in-law was a logger for a while when he was young, had his son do it all the time growing up too.

 
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Raging weasel said:
Don't hunt,fish or own a gun.

Can do most basic repair type stuff but building things from scratch like a deck or a shed I'm out. Also don't run my own electrical or water lines.

Afraid of heights and get vertigo so don't climb ladders or other tall things. 

Can't set up computer or wireless stuff.

I'm sure there is more that I'm forgetting that my wife could list.
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Wait setting up the computer and wireless stuff is manly? We'll then I'm a ####### man's man. I do all the computer ####. 

 
I just removed a dead mouse from our basement yesterday. Wore work gloves and popped him into a plastic bag. Cute little bugger. I have never used a chain saw and I don't hunt or fish. When I was a wee lad, I was fishing with one of those plastic kids fishing poles. I reached under the bank and touched something slimy and that was it for me. As a pre-teen, I was shooting at song birds with a BB gun and 'accidentally' killed one. That was enough hunting for me.

 
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