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My buddy found dead an hour ago (1 Viewer)

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Finless

Finless

Footballguy
I get a call from my good friend ___. He's crying. "tell me ___ isn't outside dead. I just got a call that he was found outside the hotel dead". I grab my shoes, go outside the hotel and see some cop cars. I look over at the picnic tables and see a hand dangling and a lump covered in what appeared to be a tarp. I confirm and my buddy let's me go to call his parents. They were brothers.

I lived with the deceased for a few months up until I went back to MA. Close friend. He weighed in at 400 lbs and had terrible sleep apnea. He's still out there...terrible. Not a tarp but a blue blanket. Went outside to grab something from his car never came back in. Probably heart failure.

I have been on him for years about his health. He'd get pumped up get a trainer for a month or so...try boxing but he would never shed the weight. When I got here he was doing well with work apparently. I saw him last night. He didn't look good. I told him I was going to the casino. He didn't seem happy to see me go without him..Seemed almost guilty. "Oh I was gonna see if you wanted to get food". He had also been throwing up earlier allegedly.

Sucks, second close friend I've lost this week. My best friend from grade school until I left town was found dead a few days ago. I cannot help but think its all drug related either at the time or the physical wreckage of the past. What a #### week. I know his mother well. She loved the crazy kid a lot. He had a great heart (dont even go there) and was one of the most animated funniest guys I've ever known.

What a #### week. I don't want to die like these guys. You never know when your tickets getting called. Well I guess sometimes you do. May be better to go like this.

RIP Buddy - You'll be missed

 
This is legit. Not fishing. There's a little more to the story than I out here but not much. I feel like I could have done more for him. Made a call to my closest friend because I was worried about him..Decided to sleep on it until at least this morning. Then wake up to him dead. Very surreal experience just looking at him covered up, his limp arm, the water bottle and juice at the table. Poor guy...I hope it happened while he was asleep.

 
Fin, hugs, condolences, anything that might help, even in the most minor way.

Not sure your age, but think you are, relatively speaking, a contemporary. A lot of us started on these boards in our early or mid twenties, and its 10, close to 15 years later now. The lifestyle's we and our friends have led coupled with the capricious nature of life, and death, are now showing their hand.

My first experience with a close friend dying was just last year. He was 38 or 39... partied a lot, but he was a #####cat and an angel. Went out with friends, went to bed, never woke up. We assume he mixed a few things that should not have been mixed... or maybe it was the culmination of a good life lived a little too good, and not well enough. Or maybe it was just his day, who knows. Didn't and doesn't matter. Guy had a heart of gold. Brought smiles into every room into which, he walked. Friends and strangers alike.

It is not that my friends' passing can in any way help you through this, but at least I can understand. And, sadly, we are at the point of life where we all need to understand, as best that we can, because we aren't 20 any more. We need to enjoy the days we have, and work with each other to live a little better, a little more well, a little healthier, and to still have as many good days as can be.

Condolences. There's nothing that can be said to make this ok, but know that you have others who understand and sadness your pain, as best we can. More importantly, even though most of us know you in FFA name only, we care, we feel for you, and we are in a way, all together in this boat as we continue to get older.

Thoughts, prayers, best wishes to you, your friends and of course the family.

 
sorry to hear that man my condolences to you, friends and family. Never like to hear stories like this.. Keep your head up bro.

 
Koya said:
Fin, hugs, condolences, anything that might help, even in the most minor way.

Not sure your age, but think you are, relatively speaking, a contemporary. A lot of us started on these boards in our early or mid twenties, and its 10, close to 15 years later now. The lifestyle's we and our friends have led coupled with the capricious nature of life, and death, are now showing their hand.

My first experience with a close friend dying was just last year. He was 38 or 39... partied a lot, but he was a #####cat and an angel. Went out with friends, went to bed, never woke up. We assume he mixed a few things that should not have been mixed... or maybe it was the culmination of a good life lived a little too good, and not well enough. Or maybe it was just his day, who knows. Didn't and doesn't matter. Guy had a heart of gold. Brought smiles into every room into which, he walked. Friends and strangers alike.

It is not that my friends' passing can in any way help you through this, but at least I can understand. And, sadly, we are at the point of life where we all need to understand, as best that we can, because we aren't 20 any more. We need to enjoy the days we have, and work with each other to live a little better, a little more well, a little healthier, and to still have as many good days as can be.

Condolences. There's nothing that can be said to make this ok, but know that you have others who understand and sadness your pain, as best we can. More importantly, even though most of us know you in FFA name only, we care, we feel for you, and we are in a way, all together in this boat as we continue to get older.

Thoughts, prayers, best wishes to you, your friends and of course the family.
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Thanks. My boss/close friend just called and said "Fin, but for the grace of God go I" referring to me. So true. These people know how I partied. I feel blessed and don't want to go out like that. Questions and suspicions, comments about how I was a real good guy when I wasn't on the stuff.

I kinda stayed away since I got here last Saturday. Knew he wasn't doing great but he seemed to be doing okay. I'm on some humble pie, mind my business #### right now. Acting like the new guy in a company I have worked at for nearly 9 years. I just can't help but wonder if I had reached out anymore could I have reached him. Doesnt matter now.

 
Finless is taking the high road, but that's some messed up crap. I hope to God nothing like this happens to you HT

 
Sorry for your loss Finless. I lost both my mom and my mother in law last year, and a very close friend my age the year before that. I'm tired of death.

I have sleep apnea. I use a bipap machine every night. It's something a lot of people ignore, and if you're especially heavy (as your friend was) it can be fatal. I would suggest to anyone reading this: if your wife or significant other tells you that you snore, and especially if they tell you that your snoring is irregular at times, get a sleep study done.

 
Never seen poorer taste in fishing. Well maybe some of the comments from 13 year olds on YouTube. His brother is crushed and flying in at 2 to help with his work. I'm offering anything I can. The family has no money really. A good friend dies - hey buddy go get high. You're a peace of ####...you'll get yours.

 
That really sucks to lose someone close, especially when it is unexpected. Sorry for your loss.

BTW, I did not think HT meant it the way it came across. Just move on. You have more important stuff to concern yourself with.

 
I have a friend with sleep apnea, I and his family have pleaded with him for years to lose weight, take better care of himself. He seems to be improving but it's a struggle.

I've also lost old friends young, three guys from my neighborhood plus another poor soul I've known along the way.

Another old friend, running buddy from grad school passed away last year. Came from a big political family, tons and tons of pressure, he finally dropped out, he was hardly heard from and then he passed in really horrible shape (also sleep apnea, or so they say...). Horrible mystery what happened to him emotionally and physically, and we all felt bad because we had not been contact with him (but a lot of that was him, he just disappeared). Don't let it weigh on you, you have to stay positive.

Just stay in touch with people through all this, keep talking and try praying, just try it. Think and focus on positive things, good things, happy memories and make sure people remember who he really was at his best, that's important.

Take care, good luck, peace.

 
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Finless said:
This is legit. Not fishing. There's a little more to the story than I out here but not much. I feel like I could have done more for him. Made a call to my closest friend because I was worried about him..Decided to sleep on it until at least this morning. Then wake up to him dead. Very surreal experience just looking at him covered up, his limp arm, the water bottle and juice at the table. Poor guy...I hope it happened while he was asleep.
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Don't even go there. Everyone feels that way every time this sort of thing happens. It is enough that you were his friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss. (And I miss my friend Doug, who died in February.)

 
At this point I'm stepping out of this thread. All I was trying to do was ease a guys pain & help him out of a dark time like he's done to others.

Name calling isn't justified because words do hurt

 
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HellToupee said:
At this point I'm stepping out of this thread. All I was trying to do was ease a guys pain & help him out of a dark time like he's done to others.

Name calling isn't justified because words do hurt
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You know what hurts worse than words? Falling in a heavy drug dependency. Even if kidding, what you said had the potential to plant the seed in his mind.
 
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HellToupee said:
At this point I'm stepping out of this thread. All I was trying to do was ease a guys pain & help him out of a dark time like he's done to others.

Name calling isn't justified because words do hurt
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yeah words hurt much more than overdosing
 
just ignore the guy. He keeps posting over and over the same thing. Just surprised he'd do it in a thread about the death of a friend. I guess my other buddy had a girl in the room and my buddy who passed wouldn't put his pap machine on and was snoring and making a racket. It led to him going out to his car to get "sheets". He never came back in.

We lived together for a few months. His apnea was no joke. He would fall asleep in an office chair, often naked and would wake me up screaming in his sleep as if someone was trying to kill him. "No not yet! I'm not ready, Please God NO!!!" This was a nightly occurrence. I would wake up, slap him awake and tell him to put on the Vader mask.

Sleep apnea is serious. I think this was drug related though and I only say that because keeping hard living in check or apnea can save someone life. I'll also say there was a friend he drove to pick up a few days ago he showed up with last night that is being put on a bus out of town...before something happens to him. I'm happy to be sober and alive but I'll miss the big goofball.

 
I don't understand. How do you die of sleep apnea in your front yard? What am I missing?

ETA: I'm very sorry for your loss. Should have said that first.

 
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Is this the first friend you've lost to (likely) drugs?

Hope it gives you even more motivation to avoid using.

 
culdeus said:
I don't understand. How do you die of sleep apnea in your front yard? What am I missing?

ETA: I'm very sorry for your loss. Should have said that first.
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from my understanding sleep apnea puts stress on the heart. Drugs also put stress on the heart. And weighing 400lbs doesnt help. His friend likely had a heart attack
 
He died outside of our hotel room. He was slumped over sitting at a picnic table out front. This could be hear failure, apnea or drugs or most likely a combination of all 3. We are all working on the road together. Some of us have known each other for 6-7 years. Just a sad situation. Not shtick as is rarely any of the stories I post. There's a post on my facebook, fb friends here can confirm. I don't shtick about death or addiction or heartache. In some regards I may come off callous but I've always been compassionate.

I'm not looking for anything here. Just venting.

 
cstu said:
Is this the first friend you've lost to (likely) drugs?

Hope it gives you even more motivation to avoid using.
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Close to 30 I'd say. Two in the last 5 days alone. The damage may already be done. You don't party like I party and walk away unscathed. I hope I am wrong but I feel like my insides have taken a beating 3 months out. It's really been on my mind the last couple weeks. Then I lose my best friend on Monday and my roommate/friend today. Then my head asks: Who's the 3rd?

 
Finless said:
cstu said:
Is this the first friend you've lost to (likely) drugs?

Hope it gives you even more motivation to avoid using.
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Close to 30 I'd say. Two in the last 5 days alone. The damage may already be done. You don't party like I party and walk away unscathed. I hope I am wrong but I feel like my insides have taken a beating 3 months out. It's really been on my mind the last couple weeks. Then I lose my best friend on Monday and my roommate/friend today. Then my head asks: Who's the 3rd?
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Awful to hear. Are you getting checkups from a doctor?

 
cstu said:
HellToupee said:
Finless said:
HellToupee said:
Seems like a good time for a little bump , you know , just to take the edge off
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What the #### is wrong with you?
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Listen Fin, you don't need the black cloud over your head right now. Just a little something to get the mind right never hurt anyone.
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Look, I realize you think Fin is schtick but this isn't appropriate.
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Fin's good people. Bought me a brew over at Causeway St during a Bs game. He seemed like he could keep it together
 
culdeus said:
I don't understand. How do you die of sleep apnea in your front yard? What am I missing?

ETA: I'm very sorry for your loss. Should have said that first.
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Sleep apnea is very serious. Left untreated it exacerbates whatever health issues you have as well as creates them. It can cause illnesses such as heart disease/attacks. Compound this with being over weight and that alone is lethal.

And Fin, if you feel I should have done more/could have.... you were a good friend. That's all you can do. It's sad but you can't 'fix' peoples problems. All you can do is be a good friend and support, which sounds like you were..

 
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