Northern Exposure is a wonderful family man, outstanding person and a damn fine American ( even though he's Canadian) and I respect him (1 Viewer)

[McGarnicle]

Your humor can have an edge to it sometimes, and that's part of what makes you so frigging funny.  I'm a Sam Kinison fan, not a Jim Gaffigan fan.  I simply don't want RNR to erroneously perceive something as a slight that isn't intended that way.

I think what you're trying to do here is admirable.

Back in my early 20s there was a Usenet group called alt.aol-sucks. It had sort of a cult following and there was this odd hierarchy where many of the posters took on mythical characters and the acknowledged leader was a cat. I was just a dude trying to be a smartass and didn't take it too seriously at first, but before long I was maybe spending too much time there and got into my share of skirmishes. Like here, I had people who found me funny, but I also unintentionally made myself a target by having a high profile too early on. And because I was young and clueless, every negative comment that came my way had to be swatted back as harshly as possible. That blew up in my face like you would expect, and I became their MoP or DFSguy, just a complete pariah.

Maybe I could've been coached into a better way of handling myself in there, but I think my immaturity and lack of self control would win out sooner or later.

But if you end up making a positive impact here, good on ya.  

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I think what you're trying to do here is admirable.

Back in my early 20s there was a Usenet group called alt.aol-sucks. It had sort of a cult following and there was this odd hierarchy where many of the posters took on mythical characters and the acknowledged leader was a cat. I was just a dude trying to be a smartass and didn't take it too seriously at first, but before long I was maybe spending too much time there and got into my share of skirmishes. Like here, I had people who found me funny, but I also unintentionally made myself a target by having a high profile too early on. And because I was young and clueless, every negative comment that came my way had to be swatted back as harshly as possible. That blew up in my face like you would expect, and I became their MoP or DFSguy, just a complete pariah.

Maybe I could've been coached into a better way of handling myself in there, but I think my immaturity and lack of self control would win out sooner or later.

But if you end up making a positive impact here, good on ya.  

I came into the FFA like a bat out of hell many years ago, having no message board experience short of posting on BBS and D-Dials before the advent of the internet as we know it, back when I was like 16.  I figured this was not unlike that, where whoever was the best at hurling insults and telling "mom" jokes would ultimately be revered.  I had my share of run-ins here, but I've always been a pretty non-confrontational person and realized somewhat quickly that burning the village down wasn't the way to win favor with the townspeople.  Add to that the fact that I started posting here in my twenties and am now in my forties, and life has a way of softening the edges and making you realize that iFights are kind of pointless and stupid.

There's no way of knowing whether RNR can learn these lessons quickly or if only the benefit of time and wisdom will show him the right path. I guess we'll see, but it was obvious that he wasn't going to find that road on his own just yet, and he seemed (seems?) in danger of flaming out completely before he ever does.  I'm hoping to give him the guidance you and I didn't have.  Even if it's a total flop, I think it's worthwhile.  I've seen him talk about heroin and suicide on here before if I'm not mistaken, and he seems like the kind of person IRL that has talent, humor, and intelligence, but just doesn't know how to express these things.  His posting here is emblematic of this.

Whether or not a screen name and a "poster" lasts on this board or not isn't really the point.  There's a person behind that keyboard that has value, and has the tools to have a bright future if he wants it and can find it.  I feel like this board could really help him if it isn't busy tearing him up.  That's why I'm doing this.

 

[kentric]

Read any of the racist threads I've started for backstory.

This is not politically motivated.

Fixed.  

 

[RokNRole]

He's right, Rok.  A sincere apology and an agreement to let bygones be bygones would not be out of order here.  I urge you to consider this request.  Contrition <> weakness.

I do apologize @northern exposure and the FFA as a whole for any transgressions.

 

[McGarnicle]

Deal.

What do I do when I have important life questions that are difficult for me but others take for granted and get upset about ( suits, taxes, pizza toppings etc)?

Should I condense those questions in to one thread? Sometimes several questions pop up in my life in a short period of time and people get upset.

No schtick, if you had a single thread ala Tim where you posted your interests and concerns du jour and changed the thread titles regularly, you'd obviously have a nice stream of traffic. Just keep the beginning the same to avoid confusion, for example: "RockNRole's Thread: I found a suit at Goodwill!!!", then "RockNRole's Thread: I raw dogged a lady I met in an alley, should I get tested for STDs?".

People get annoyed by so many threads started by one person. If you just had one, you could consolidate your following in one place while giving others the courtesy of just a single thread to avoid if they wish. It will also be a good test of your self discipline, as it would suck to have it going well for a while and then get derailed and deleted by a mod after a couple hundred pages. A great way to approach this: you're getting frustrated by some negative nellies and tempted to lash out -- put the device down, then the next day post something completely new and change the thread title accordingly. You'll be amazed how quickly you'll be left alone by the bad people once they see you can't be baited. GL man.

 

[RokNRole]

No schtick, if you had a single thread ala Tim where you posted your interests and concerns du jour and changed the thread titles regularly, you'd obviously have a nice stream of traffic. Just keep the beginning the same to avoid confusion, for example: "RockNRole's Thread: I found a suit at Goodwill!!!", then "RockNRole's Thread: I raw dogged a lady I met in an alley, should I get tested for STDs?".

People get annoyed by so many threads started by one person. If you just had one, you could consolidate your following in one place while giving others the courtesy of just a single thread to avoid if they wish. It will also be a good test of your self discipline, as it would suck to have it going well for a while and then get derailed and deleted by a mod after a couple hundred pages. A great way to approach this: you're getting frustrated by some negative nellies and tempted to lash out -- put the device down, then the next day post something completely new and change the thread title accordingly. You'll be amazed how quickly you'll be left alone by the bad people once they see you can't be baited. GL man.

For all my potential threads or just ones containing certain questions that are typically uniquely mine?

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I do apologize @northern exposure and the FFA as a whole for any transgressions.

I do believe I deserve some apologies as well. There have been many times I've tried to carry on without causing trouble and was antagonized regardless which is probably more immature than anything I've done, although I do not demand it.

This sucks.  Try again.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Fixed.  

The past is prologue.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

No schtick, if you had a single thread ala Tim where you posted your interests and concerns du jour and changed the thread titles regularly, you'd obviously have a nice stream of traffic. Just keep the beginning the same to avoid confusion, for example: "RockNRole's Thread: I found a suit at Goodwill!!!", then "RockNRole's Thread: I raw dogged a lady I met in an alley, should I get tested for STDs?".

People get annoyed by so many threads started by one person. If you just had one, you could consolidate your following in one place while giving others the courtesy of just a single thread to avoid if they wish. It will also be a good test of your self discipline, as it would suck to have it going well for a while and then get derailed and deleted by a mod after a couple hundred pages. A great way to approach this: you're getting frustrated by some negative nellies and tempted to lash out -- put the device down, then the next day post something completely new and change the thread title accordingly. You'll be amazed how quickly you'll be left alone by the bad people once they see you can't be baited. GL man.

He's absolutely right.  You should strongly consider this.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

For all my potential threads or just ones containing certain questions that are typically uniquely mine?

One thread.... to rule them all.  Exactly as he described.  It will be only thread to you start, period.  Start it, handle the titles as McGarnicle detailed, and do not start any other threads of any kind for at least the next 6 months.

 

[RokNRole]

This sucks.  Try again.

What was wrong with this?

 

[fantasycurse42]

This sucks.  Try again.

I'm sorry, but it is really not my fault!

 

[northern exposure]

This sucks.  Try again.

I'm not surprised. He can't seem to accept responsibility for what he has done without blaming others. His bull#### towards me wasn't just in this thread. I thought of lots of scathing posts I could have made towards Rok. But, I thought better of them and didn't post them. Self restraint can be a good thing,

 

[fantasycurse42]

 

[RokNRole]

I'm not surprised. He can't seem to accept responsibility for what he has done without blaming others. His bull#### towards me wasn't just in this thread. I thought of lots of scathing posts I could have made towards Rok. But, I thought better of them and didn't post them. Self restraint can be a good thing,

I was taking responsibility on my end.

You don't believe I deserve an apology for anything from anyone? This just goes one way?

 

[Evilgrin 72]

What was wrong with this?

I don't want to write it for you, it needs to come from you.  You need to demonstrate actual regret that things went haywire between you and NE and you need to submit your own culpability.  Same with the second, unnecessary paragraph where you request apologies from others.  Just focus on how you may have either caused or assisted in things going off the rails and don't worry about what anyone else did or didn't do.  You're 100 times more likely to get apologies and kindness from people if they feel like you're really attempting to change and they do it of their own volition, rather than at your prompting.

Now, try again under these auspices, please.

 

[RokNRole]

I'm not surprised. He can't seem to accept responsibility for what he has done without blaming others. His bull#### towards me wasn't just in this thread. I thought of lots of scathing posts I could have made towards Rok. But, I thought better of them and didn't post them. Self restraint can be a good thing,

You have posted antagonizing things towards me unprovoked at times. My intention is not to start an arguememt about this but I think I deserve some acknowledgement that I was not always the transgressor. That is certainly reasonable if we are trying to wipe the slate clean otherwise it's just a witch hunt.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I was taking responsibility on my end.

You don't believe I deserve an apology for anything from anyone? This just goes one way?

Worry about the first sentence and the rest will come.  You can't force it.

 

[RokNRole]

I don't want to write it for you, it needs to come from you.  You need to demonstrate actual regret that things went haywire between you and NE and you need to submit your own culpability.  Same with the second, unnecessary paragraph where you request apologies from others.  Just focus on how you may have either caused or assisted in things going off the rails and don't worry about what anyone else did or didn't do.  You're 100 times more likely to get apologies and kindness from people if they feel like you're really attempting to change and they do it of their own volition, rather than at your prompting.

Now, try again under these auspices, please.

I do apologize to NE and others I've beefed with in the past.

 

[RokNRole]

Worry about the first sentence and the rest will come.  You can't force it.

As I said I do not require an apology I was just pointing it out.

 

[northern exposure]

I was taking responsibility on my end.

You don't believe I deserve an apology for anything from anyone? This just goes one way?

Please quit replying to my posts. Remove my name from the thread title and don't interact with me in any way, shape or form on these boards again. Thank you. Forget about the apology as well. There will be no sincerity to it, so what's the point. Just keep doing what you have been doing. 

 

[Dr Oadi]

I do apologize @northern exposure and the FFA as a whole for any transgressions.

One day you will learn to stop here. You can do it!

 

[Evilgrin 72]

As I said I do not require an apology I was just pointing it out.

Stop pointing it out.  Whether it seems like it or not, whether it seems fair or not, I'm telling you what needs to be done.  Either listen to me or tell me to #### off and do this on your own.

 

[RokNRole]

Stop pointing it out.  Whether it seems like it or not, whether it seems fair or not, I'm telling you what needs to be done.  Either listen to me or tell me to #### off and do this on your own.

I deleted it.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

If it were me, I'd have said something like...

"NE, I'm really sorry things went sideways here.  You really do seem like a stand up guy, sometimes I get caught up in all the back and forth and just don't know when to quit.  It's entirely possible that I misinterpreted some of the things you were saying as personal attacks and my instinct is just to fire back.  You didn't, and don't, deserve that and I feel bad about it.  I hope we can move on as friends, but if not, I'll understand and just try to stay out of your hair."

Anything like that.  Don't point out how you were wronged.  Don't make it a blanket apology to the whole board.  Just fix this one broken link in the fence, that's it.  If he doesn't want to deal with you, then take his name out of the thread title, don't respond to any of his posts going forward, and just don't type his name again.  One step at a time.  Is this making any sense to you, even if you disagree with the approach?

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I deleted it.

Well done.

 

[Beef Ravioli]

Please quit replying to my posts. Remove my name from the thread title and don't interact with me in any way, shape or form on these boards again. Thank you.

You may need counseling. The damage RnR inflicted is obvious .

 

[RokNRole]

If it were me, I'd have said something like...

"NE, I'm really sorry things went sideways here.  You really do seem like a stand up guy, sometimes I get caught up in all the back and forth and just don't know when to quit.  It's entirely possible that I misinterpreted some of the things you were saying as personal attacks and my instinct is just to fire back.  You didn't, and don't, deserve that and I feel bad about it.  I hope we can move on as friends, but if not, I'll understand and just try to stay out of your hair."

Anything like that.  Don't point out how you were wronged.  Don't make it a blanket apology to the whole board.  Just fix this one broken link in the fence, that's it.  If he doesn't want to deal with you, then take his name out of the thread title, don't respond to any of his posts going forward, and just don't type his name again.  One step at a time.  Is this making any sense to you, even if you disagree with the approach?

It's difficult to apologize to begin with and I felt like if I wrote an extended apology it could just open up an unnecessary can of worms. I thought it best to just apologize and move on without having to dig up any old details.

 

[shadyridr]

I've always kind of enjoyed RnR and never understood the hate. Count me as one that hopes Evilgrin can turn things around here ?

Me too. He's funny and never got the hate either. I do think people find his threads just to egg him on. I don't really post in political threads so maybe that's it. 

 

[northern exposure]

If it were me, I'd have said something like...

"NE, I'm really sorry things went sideways here.  You really do seem like a stand up guy, sometimes I get caught up in all the back and forth and just don't know when to quit.  It's entirely possible that I misinterpreted some of the things you were saying as personal attacks and my instinct is just to fire back.  You didn't, and don't, deserve that and I feel bad about it.  I hope we can move on as friends, but if not, I'll understand and just try to stay out of your hair."

Anything like that.  Don't point out how you were wronged.  Don't make it a blanket apology to the whole board.  Just fix this one broken link in the fence, that's it.  If he doesn't want to deal with you, then take his name out of the thread title, don't respond to any of his posts going forward, and just don't type his name again.  One step at a time.  Is this making any sense to you, even if you disagree with the approach?

Sorry, I've lost my temper here. But, I don't understand the ####### point of this exercise if all he is doing is parroting what you tell him to say EG?

 

[McGarnicle]

For all my potential threads or just ones containing certain questions that are typically uniquely mine?

All your potential new threads become one thread with ever-changing titles. In parallel you can still reply in other threads if you wish.

Tim's thread was in response to a lot of complaints that he dominated threads, especially political threads. I still find that hilarious. But go to a random page in his thread and just browse. It's gold.

 

[Galileo]

Sorry, I've lost my temper here. But, I don't understand the ####### point of this exercise if all he is doing is parroting what you tell him to say EG?

Wax on...wax off.  Got to learn from the master

 

[RokNRole]

Sorry, I've lost my temper here. But, I don't understand the ####### point of this exercise if all he is doing is parroting what you tell him to say EG?

I'm not parroting I'm making a sincere effort to reflect. It's not going to be perfect right away. It's a process and it's not my intention to upset anyone further.

 

[Dr Oadi]

I'm not parroting I'm making a sincere effort to reflect. It's not going to be perfect right away. It's a process and it's not my intention to upset anyone further.

Change this thread title and don't reply or talk about him anymore. 

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

can we consolidate the RnR reclamation project to a single thread? TIA