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****Official**** depression thread (1 Viewer)

That's a final. My FIL finally found his peace about 1:15 today. Rest in peace GB, I love you.
That sucks. Sorry for your and your family's loss, Bob. Hang in there. Sounds like he was a great guy and a guy that'll be fondly remembered. That's a good tribute.J
 
Woke up at about 3:00 two nights ago with a stomach punch that our business is going to go under. I ran payroll yesterday and had to transfer $$ from our emergency funds to the operating account today to be sure we didn't overdraw. My heart is now racing 24/7 and I can't eat. I have hope that we will be okay (if we can make it to February, 2011 we will be okay), but I don't really know. I've truly never experienced fear like this before.
Hang in there YSR. No idea if you'd even want to hear anything like this, but as someone like you who's in business for themselves and rides that balance wire all the time, I find I take less and less "personal" identity or attachment to the success or failure of the businesses. If Footballguys were to go under, I'd be bummed, but I'd be the same person. I'd still have my family (I'd hope they wouldn't leave me if Footballguys died) and I'd still have pretty much everything I do now. Same with the boat company. Losing them would mean some lifestyle changes but nothing really that big in the grand scheme of things.I see people who basically become their business. They feel like they're a success because their business is prosperous. When in reality, they might be a mess. Or they feel like they're a failure because their business failed. I don't think that's true. I know it's easy for the business to "become you" as you pour so much of yourself into it. But it's not you. It's a job that hopefully you like and that you make money with. But it's not you.Good luck there.J
 
:lmao:

Condolences GB

It seems like it's such a rare thing to have a great relationship with a MIL or FIL. I've been lucky enough to have that with both of my wife's parents. Glad you got to experience some of that too.

Already lost the MIL in February, it was devastating. Can't even imagine the FIL

 
Sorry to hear that Bob. Ever since I've had my son, for the first time in my life, I'm terrified of dying. Not of death, but of not being there for my boy (and most likely as of tomorrow, for my little girl). Your FIL's "sorry" is exactly how I would feel if I were to pass away at this point. Sorry for not being there for you. Sorry for not being able to help you when you need it. Sorry I won't get to see the rest of your life.

Oof. The room just got dusty again.

 
StLB,

So sorry to hear about you FIL. Glad to hear he was such a good man and you had had a good relationship with him.

 
Woke up at about 3:00 two nights ago with a stomach punch that our business is going to go under. I ran payroll yesterday and had to transfer $$ from our emergency funds to the operating account today to be sure we didn't overdraw. My heart is now racing 24/7 and I can't eat. I have hope that we will be okay (if we can make it to February, 2011 we will be okay), but I don't really know. I've truly never experienced fear like this before.
Hang in there YSR. No idea if you'd even want to hear anything like this, but as someone like you who's in business for themselves and rides that balance wire all the time, I find I take less and less "personal" identity or attachment to the success or failure of the businesses. If Footballguys were to go under, I'd be bummed, but I'd be the same person. I'd still have my family (I'd hope they wouldn't leave me if Footballguys died) and I'd still have pretty much everything I do now. Same with the boat company. Losing them would mean some lifestyle changes but nothing really that big in the grand scheme of things.I see people who basically become their business. They feel like they're a success because their business is prosperous. When in reality, they might be a mess. Or they feel like they're a failure because their business failed. I don't think that's true. I know it's easy for the business to "become you" as you pour so much of yourself into it. But it's not you. It's a job that hopefully you like and that you make money with. But it's not you.Good luck there.J
Thanks, JB.It's still looking bleak-ish but we have some very worst case scenario options that we can tap into (e.g. my parents) if need be. I'm trying to sell my house (which I've been renting) in SC, my partner (boyfriend) is trying to sell a couple of his rental properties in Knoxville, etc.We have an investor who wants to open a new office in Savannah for us and that's going to be gangbusters. It's just not going to happen until February, most likely.But to your point, I had to take a hard look at my particular situation the other day when I had this realization. I could get out. I would take a hit, as I've put a good deal of money into this business, but I could still get out. We are not married, the house we live in in Jacksonville is in my name and I would have every right to sell it, etc.But the thought was fleeting, as after an at-times painful journey, I'm happy in my personal life. If we wind up on the streets, we do so together.Thanks for the validation on that. :thumbup:
 
Sorry to hear that Bob. Ever since I've had my son, for the first time in my life, I'm terrified of dying. Not of death, but of not being there for my boy (and most likely as of tomorrow, for my little girl). Your FIL's "sorry" is exactly how I would feel if I were to pass away at this point. Sorry for not being there for you. Sorry for not being able to help you when you need it. Sorry I won't get to see the rest of your life.Oof. The room just got dusty again.
Well said Drifter. Well said.
 
Sorry for your loss SLB. I must say, I enjoyed reading about your fil's strength and his outlook on life and death. I can only hope I'm as strong and brave when the end is near for me. RIP

 
Woke up at about 3:00 two nights ago with a stomach punch that our business is going to go under. I ran payroll yesterday and had to transfer $$ from our emergency funds to the operating account today to be sure we didn't overdraw. My heart is now racing 24/7 and I can't eat. I have hope that we will be okay (if we can make it to February, 2011 we will be okay), but I don't really know. I've truly never experienced fear like this before.
Hang in there YSR. No idea if you'd even want to hear anything like this, but as someone like you who's in business for themselves and rides that balance wire all the time, I find I take less and less "personal" identity or attachment to the success or failure of the businesses. If Footballguys were to go under, I'd be bummed, but I'd be the same person. I'd still have my family (I'd hope they wouldn't leave me if Footballguys died) and I'd still have pretty much everything I do now. Same with the boat company. Losing them would mean some lifestyle changes but nothing really that big in the grand scheme of things.I see people who basically become their business. They feel like they're a success because their business is prosperous. When in reality, they might be a mess. Or they feel like they're a failure because their business failed. I don't think that's true. I know it's easy for the business to "become you" as you pour so much of yourself into it. But it's not you. It's a job that hopefully you like and that you make money with. But it's not you.Good luck there.J
Thanks, JB.It's still looking bleak-ish but we have some very worst case scenario options that we can tap into (e.g. my parents) if need be. I'm trying to sell my house (which I've been renting) in SC, my partner (boyfriend) is trying to sell a couple of his rental properties in Knoxville, etc.We have an investor who wants to open a new office in Savannah for us and that's going to be gangbusters. It's just not going to happen until February, most likely.But to your point, I had to take a hard look at my particular situation the other day when I had this realization. I could get out. I would take a hit, as I've put a good deal of money into this business, but I could still get out. We are not married, the house we live in in Jacksonville is in my name and I would have every right to sell it, etc.But the thought was fleeting, as after an at-times painful journey, I'm happy in my personal life. If we wind up on the streets, we do so together.Thanks for the validation on that. :thumbup:
Hang in there.I don't know the specifics of your business (size, how you make your money, etc.), but make sure you have a solid top finance/accounting person. I don't know if you're large enough to have a CFO/controller but a good finance person should be overseeing everything, doing projections and budgers, and probably most importantly, have a good relationship with the bank.
 
Woke up at about 3:00 two nights ago with a stomach punch that our business is going to go under. I ran payroll yesterday and had to transfer $$ from our emergency funds to the operating account today to be sure we didn't overdraw. My heart is now racing 24/7 and I can't eat. I have hope that we will be okay (if we can make it to February, 2011 we will be okay), but I don't really know. I've truly never experienced fear like this before.
Hang in there YSR. No idea if you'd even want to hear anything like this, but as someone like you who's in business for themselves and rides that balance wire all the time, I find I take less and less "personal" identity or attachment to the success or failure of the businesses. If Footballguys were to go under, I'd be bummed, but I'd be the same person. I'd still have my family (I'd hope they wouldn't leave me if Footballguys died) and I'd still have pretty much everything I do now. Same with the boat company. Losing them would mean some lifestyle changes but nothing really that big in the grand scheme of things.I see people who basically become their business. They feel like they're a success because their business is prosperous. When in reality, they might be a mess. Or they feel like they're a failure because their business failed. I don't think that's true. I know it's easy for the business to "become you" as you pour so much of yourself into it. But it's not you. It's a job that hopefully you like and that you make money with. But it's not you.Good luck there.J
Thanks, JB.It's still looking bleak-ish but we have some very worst case scenario options that we can tap into (e.g. my parents) if need be. I'm trying to sell my house (which I've been renting) in SC, my partner (boyfriend) is trying to sell a couple of his rental properties in Knoxville, etc.We have an investor who wants to open a new office in Savannah for us and that's going to be gangbusters. It's just not going to happen until February, most likely.But to your point, I had to take a hard look at my particular situation the other day when I had this realization. I could get out. I would take a hit, as I've put a good deal of money into this business, but I could still get out. We are not married, the house we live in in Jacksonville is in my name and I would have every right to sell it, etc.But the thought was fleeting, as after an at-times painful journey, I'm happy in my personal life. If we wind up on the streets, we do so together.Thanks for the validation on that. :mellow:
Cool. I bet you do great.And sorry if that sounded preachy. It's just something that's really hit me hard the last few years. Keep us posted.J
 
High-school classmate/friend died yesterday. Seemingly healthy until Nov. 1 last year, when she woke up with yellow eyes and was diagnosed within a week with Stage 4 liver cancer. She had a 14-year-old and 11-year-old, in addition to a very loving husband. :goodposting:

 
krista4 said:
High-school classmate/friend died yesterday. Seemingly healthy until Nov. 1 last year, when she woke up with yellow eyes and was diagnosed within a week with Stage 4 liver cancer. She had a 14-year-old and 11-year-old, in addition to a very loving husband. :kicksrock:
:thumbup:That is just awful. I'm very sorry for your loss Krista.
 
Thank you, I appreciate it.The funeral was took place at the time as this poor kid was put to rest and and they were both buried at JB which rivals Arlington in its size and beauty. The Patriot Guard was there and it was amazing to see. There had to be close to 300 motorcycles. Thankfully the Phelps crowd wasn't there because I would be in jail right now. The marine told his parents that when he got home from Afghanistan he wanted to buy an old pickup truck and restore it. So the funeral home bought a 1952 Ford and picked up his casket at the airport with it. Pretty cool.

It was all rather short and sweet, just like my FIL wanted.

The honor guard was there, 21 gun salute and this poem was written by the son of his long time friend and girlfriend. My FIL when he talked about the war and the obvious horrible things that went along with it, would always say "a warm place to sleep would have been nice because it was awful waking up in a hole covered in snow but I would have settled for some dry socks and a warm meal."

Code:
DRY SOCKS AND A WARM MEALAn uncommon common soldier is being laid to restThroughout this soldier's life he always passed the testHarry was a quiet unassuming shy hero who never asked for muchHis life was a testament to the family left and many friends he did touchThis man from Missouri would insist the he was merely doing his jobOur country owes a debt for with the battle weary service his youth we did robA gentle man with a constant smile who never sought to tell his remarkable storySicily, Anzio, The Bulge became his legacy but he did not welcome any gloryHarry was of a generation history has rightly labeled as loyal, brave, and trueWhen his country called he was ready to take the point and do and do and doA foot soldier at the front, he experienced the horrors and the sacrifice of warHis positive outlook remained to the end for he never showed the scarHarry said what he missed in years of combat were dry socks and a warm mealNow he is being welcomed by his brothers in arms who salute this man so real
 
Bob, I am so sorry for your loss. :towelwave:

May he rest in peace. He was a hero even though it sounds like he didn't think he was. He really was a part of the greatest generation. I'm glad you had the opportunity to know him and be a part of his family.

 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.

The changes this disease causes are just...

Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.

F-U Alzheimer's

 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
:excited:Went through it a little with my Grampa but I was too young. Hoping that I won't have to deal with it with my Dad too. :thumbup:Sorry man, #### Alzheimer's, for real.
 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Oh man. I'm sorry to hear this. I don't even really have any encouraging words that won't sound patronizing. Just really sorry to hear it.
 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Oh man. I'm sorry to hear this. I don't even really have any encouraging words that won't sound patronizing. Just really sorry to hear it.
+1
 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Oh man. I'm sorry to hear this. I don't even really have any encouraging words that won't sound patronizing. Just really sorry to hear it.
+1
+2Just had dinner with an old GB who is going through a parent with Alzheimers too. ####### horrible- so sorry you're having to go through it.
 
I got laid off. Again.

Post-fire move #4 (since July) happened this weekend after finding out about the job loss Friday.

This (life) is not good.

 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Really sorry to hear this GB. :kicksrock:Both of my grandparents have Alzheimer's. It's awful. They haven't recognized each other for about 2 years now.I seriously wish they would just die.F-U Alzheimer's
 
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Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Sorry to hear that Rudi. Hang in there.J
 
Just spent about 4 hours hanging out with my dad. Actually I was keeping an eye on him since he has Alzheimer's. My stepmom has a support group she goes to every Saturday so we go up and spend the day with him.The changes this disease causes are just...Screw it. I don't even want to think about it.F-U Alzheimer's
Really sorry to hear this GB. :lmao:Both of my grandparents have Alzheimer's. It's awful. They haven't recognized each other for about 2 years now.I seriously wish they would just die.F-U Alzheimer's
Sorry to hear that too, Bob. Hang tough. J
 
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Dad went into the clinic for a colonoscopy this morning and ended up in the hospital for a few days with an irregular heartbeat. He has had this kind of thing before, but each time (2x) it's been on one side of his heart and they have done the ablation.

It's on the other side of his heart now and he's nearing 70. I don't know what it means and I how long he will be there, and my mother is painting best possible scenario.

I'm upset. There you have it.

 
Dad went into the clinic for a colonoscopy this morning and ended up in the hospital for a few days with an irregular heartbeat. He has had this kind of thing before, but each time (2x) it's been on one side of his heart and they have done the ablation.It's on the other side of his heart now and he's nearing 70. I don't know what it means and I how long he will be there, and my mother is painting best possible scenario. I'm upset. There you have it.
good luck ysr and hang in there.this thread is more officially Depressing than Depression.
 
Scored a total of 114 points in the 1st round and quarters destroying two teams with 1 loss total. Last night in the semis got pushed around by the #4 team in the country 51-23 with 4 TOs.

:popcorn:

 
Life it seems, will fade away

Drifting further every day

Getting lost within myself

Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live

Simply nothing more to give

There is nothing more for me

Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be

Missing one inside of me

Deathly lost, this can't be real

Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filing me

To the point of agony

Growing darkness taking dawn

I was me, but now He's gone

I think this sums it up best.

 
Update from earlier post: 14-year-old nephew with cancer has been given 3 weeks to live. Will have a big party for Thanksgiving. Probably try to break it to the kids this weekend.

 
Update from earlier post: 14-year-old nephew with cancer has been given 3 weeks to live. Will have a big party for Thanksgiving. Probably try to break it to the kids this weekend.
:( :yawn: :cry: :cry:SO Sorry. First and foremost, prayers for your nephew. This kind of stuff make me so sad. I hope hes strong and not in a lot of pain.Also, I wish you and your family strength and good wishes through these times.
 
Update from earlier post: 14-year-old nephew with cancer has been given 3 weeks to live. Will have a big party for Thanksgiving. Probably try to break it to the kids this weekend.
My gosh. I don't remember the earlier post on this. I'm so sorry. :unsure:
 
Old friend of ours Dad dropped dead out of nowhere on Friday. I sent Mrs. SLB to the wake tonight. I can't take 3 straight days of heavy depression. Of course after reading Pick's post that seems pretty petty of me.

 
Dear god this thread is depressing. I was going to share my gloom with you folk but it just seems so trivial now. Thanks to all you miserable folk for cheering me up!

 
Went to the doctor today. I went in for a check-up about 5-6 weeks ago. There was a little blip on my EKG. Doctor didn't think it was much but figured he have me take an echocardiogram (whatever). So I did it about 10 days ago.

I hadn't heard anything so I figured that was good news.

Wrong. Dr's office called Wed and wanted me to come in so I knew it wasn't good. Doc tells me today that I have biatrial enlargement. Top two top chambers of my heart are enlarged. The doctor seemed a little puzzled by it. I asked him if this was something related to lifestyle (smoking, being overweight, diet etc). He said something to the effect of "probably not...it's probably something more like a faulty valve or you might have even been born with a hole in your heart".

So all these years of not taking great care of myself and my ticker could be screwed by pure nature. I've been exercising and cutting some weight and some damn birth defect sucker punches me.

I have a consultation on the 21st with the cardiologist. My doc says I might need a TEE. I guess that's where they actually shove the echo thing down your throat so they can get a better look from the inside.

I did some research on the biatrial enlargement thing but I have no idea how serious it is. No clue if what the treatment is.

One the bright side the doc said something like "well it's better we found out now instead of in 10 years and we're trying to figure out why your heart is going out."

Man I hate to ##### about health stuff. I know there are people out there with a lot worse. But I haven't been in the hospital since I had my tonsils out when I was 4. I guess I've been lucky but I suppose I've just never had to really think about serious health stuff in a real sense.

 
Went to the doctor today. I went in for a check-up about 5-6 weeks ago. There was a little blip on my EKG. Doctor didn't think it was much but figured he have me take an echocardiogram (whatever). So I did it about 10 days ago. I hadn't heard anything so I figured that was good news.Wrong. Dr's office called Wed and wanted me to come in so I knew it wasn't good. Doc tells me today that I have biatrial enlargement. Top two top chambers of my heart are enlarged. The doctor seemed a little puzzled by it. I asked him if this was something related to lifestyle (smoking, being overweight, diet etc). He said something to the effect of "probably not...it's probably something more like a faulty valve or you might have even been born with a hole in your heart".So all these years of not taking great care of myself and my ticker could be screwed by pure nature. I've been exercising and cutting some weight and some damn birth defect sucker punches me. I have a consultation on the 21st with the cardiologist. My doc says I might need a TEE. I guess that's where they actually shove the echo thing down your throat so they can get a better look from the inside. I did some research on the biatrial enlargement thing but I have no idea how serious it is. No clue if what the treatment is. One the bright side the doc said something like "well it's better we found out now instead of in 10 years and we're trying to figure out why your heart is going out." Man I hate to ##### about health stuff. I know there are people out there with a lot worse. But I haven't been in the hospital since I had my tonsils out when I was 4. I guess I've been lucky but I suppose I've just never had to really think about serious health stuff in a real sense.
Oh, man. Really sorry to hear. Here's hoping your cardiologist up and leaves your appointment in order to go punch your internist in the sexyparts area for wasting his time.
 
Went to the doctor today. I went in for a check-up about 5-6 weeks ago. There was a little blip on my EKG. Doctor didn't think it was much but figured he have me take an echocardiogram (whatever). So I did it about 10 days ago. I hadn't heard anything so I figured that was good news.Wrong. Dr's office called Wed and wanted me to come in so I knew it wasn't good. Doc tells me today that I have biatrial enlargement. Top two top chambers of my heart are enlarged. The doctor seemed a little puzzled by it. I asked him if this was something related to lifestyle (smoking, being overweight, diet etc). He said something to the effect of "probably not...it's probably something more like a faulty valve or you might have even been born with a hole in your heart".So all these years of not taking great care of myself and my ticker could be screwed by pure nature. I've been exercising and cutting some weight and some damn birth defect sucker punches me. I have a consultation on the 21st with the cardiologist. My doc says I might need a TEE. I guess that's where they actually shove the echo thing down your throat so they can get a better look from the inside. I did some research on the biatrial enlargement thing but I have no idea how serious it is. No clue if what the treatment is. One the bright side the doc said something like "well it's better we found out now instead of in 10 years and we're trying to figure out why your heart is going out." Man I hate to ##### about health stuff. I know there are people out there with a lot worse. But I haven't been in the hospital since I had my tonsils out when I was 4. I guess I've been lucky but I suppose I've just never had to really think about serious health stuff in a real sense.
Oh, man. Really sorry to hear. Here's hoping your cardiologist up and leaves your appointment in order to go punch your internist in the sexyparts area for wasting his time.
;) Oh yeah I almost had to go a little MoP on the broad that handles my doc's appointments. She called Wed and left a voicemail to call back. So I call her and she says "Dr. H wanted you to come in for a routine appointment..."Me: :thumbup: (I'd seen the guy like 3 times in one month. Full check up, cyst removal, Echo)Her: ...yes, a routin...um...oh, wait...it says something about you having an Echo and um, er...but it's just a regular check-up."Me: Umm...yeahhhh...:thumbup:After we make the appointment I almost told her "You know I'm not in the medical profession but it wasn't hard to figure out that something was up with my results. This isn't a regular check-up. Doctor H grabbed my junk and jammed a finger up me less than 3 weeks ago. I'm all 'checked-up'. " :lmao: I'm not a cocker spaniel that needs to be tricked into 'going for a ride, boy!' when it's time to go to the vet.
 

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