Had lunch with the wife today and the topic of how she has been feeling was brought up. Went overall very well, and we are going to work on some steps to help with ourselves, and look at counseling in the near future.
Out of likes.Depression is merely an abstraction of our old, animal, starvation-mode shutdowns. Once the organism stops seeing the human contrivances that get us all worked-up as "lost food", it stops using the shutdown as a defense. Happy to talk about it with you anytime - you know where to find me.other than the depression... yeah.Keep on keepin on, palo'mine. Remember, you can't always control what happens to you but you have complete and utter control of how you feel about what happens to you.thanks for asking wp.... not really- but doing the best I can. and even that is a BIG difference from the days when the depression would win out and bury me. I'm full of stress (just yelled at my son, which I never do), working again this weekend despite having a birthday yesterday. but since the kids- other when we had the fire and I was just overwhelmed- I've done my very best to keep on top of it... the thought of the kids makes me fight through and keep moving forward, where previously I would get consumed and frozen in place.what about you, floppy - recover from last wkend snafu?positive and healthy thoughts heading your way. best of luck to you guys.
eta: also the reality of things relative to potential tragedy... if not for cliched money related issues, my life is pretty ok. health all around is great, kids are great, life- aside from bs money... great.
What are the blow ups like? What does she do/say?Both are concerns. Preconceived bias as well as how to approach. It has been weighing on me pretty much constantly for a few months. It has gotten to the point where there is so much deflection and defensiveness that it just feels like it would be counter productive. Things will go well for a few days, then bam, out of nowhere it is gone for a few days. I try to mitigate known stressers as much as possible such as stress of things to do and things that frustrate her to get to a point where I could try to address it, but in the mean time, I am working 50 hrs a week and trying to reduce things that might cause a blow up and it is exhausting.sounds like she could use an unbiased professional to listen and advise.No work. Runs about 5 times a week. I would welcome anything. I know she has said she feels on edge because our oldest is graduating and going to college, but the fact is this has been ongoing for probably 2 years by my estimation and I am sure this is just ramping it up. It is hard to think of a day without a blow up. I feel like I could keep an OSHA sign in the house with X many days since last irrational blow up and someone and it would never get past 5.agree.I don't want to oversimplify this but how is her diet/health? Does she exercise regularly? Does she work? If yes, is this adding to the stress level?Any stories by FBG's dealing with a spouse that is depressed? Over the last couple of years, my wife has become increasingly negative, filled with pent up anger and any other number of symptoms of depression. My oldest daughter and I have talked about what we can do to help, but she has friends that are on medication and I know she takes pride in the fact that she is not. She needs help, but I am struggling on the best method to get her to see that this is not who she is. I am sure it grabs your brain and you can forget how you should feel. I am thankful the search engine at least found this for me to see if any FBG's had advice and/or experience here.
In my opinion, medication should be a last resort if the solution is something more natural like diet/exercise/meditation/etc.
but I would keep therapy on the ready, if these don't produce results.
therapy doesn't have to mean pills. aside from the money, there's nothing but benefit to it... particularly if an end game is figured out ahead of time (and not just endless, woody allen lifetime of sitting on a couch blabbing... but hell- even that has benefit).
insurance often covers mental health too. I think this is an obvious next step for her.
But does she have preconceived biases/stigma about therapy that would keep her from going or participating? Our friends who seem to need the most help feel that way- and refuse to even consider going that route. there's also the consideration of how to intervene with her without making her feel defensive and irritated (maybe impossible not to?).
Walkmen how is your wife doing?Thanks for asking for an update. The good news is the scan come back clear, so there are no tumors any where except for in the colon. The Dr confirmed there is only 1 tumor. The bad news is it is cancerous. Surgery is set for Thursday to remove it. Our outlook and thoughts are positive. I will update more as I find out more.
They usually start over something small, like a daughter not getting ready when she is supposed to, and then go from 10 mph to 100mph in about 2 seconds. It starts mild, proceeds to outright anger bordering on rage, and ends with her saying she gives up.What are the blow ups like? What does she do/say?Both are concerns. Preconceived bias as well as how to approach. It has been weighing on me pretty much constantly for a few months. It has gotten to the point where there is so much deflection and defensiveness that it just feels like it would be counter productive. Things will go well for a few days, then bam, out of nowhere it is gone for a few days. I try to mitigate known stressers as much as possible such as stress of things to do and things that frustrate her to get to a point where I could try to address it, but in the mean time, I am working 50 hrs a week and trying to reduce things that might cause a blow up and it is exhausting.sounds like she could use an unbiased professional to listen and advise.No work. Runs about 5 times a week. I would welcome anything. I know she has said she feels on edge because our oldest is graduating and going to college, but the fact is this has been ongoing for probably 2 years by my estimation and I am sure this is just ramping it up. It is hard to think of a day without a blow up. I feel like I could keep an OSHA sign in the house with X many days since last irrational blow up and someone and it would never get past 5.agree.I don't want to oversimplify this but how is her diet/health? Does she exercise regularly? Does she work? If yes, is this adding to the stress level?Any stories by FBG's dealing with a spouse that is depressed? Over the last couple of years, my wife has become increasingly negative, filled with pent up anger and any other number of symptoms of depression. My oldest daughter and I have talked about what we can do to help, but she has friends that are on medication and I know she takes pride in the fact that she is not. She needs help, but I am struggling on the best method to get her to see that this is not who she is. I am sure it grabs your brain and you can forget how you should feel. I am thankful the search engine at least found this for me to see if any FBG's had advice and/or experience here.
In my opinion, medication should be a last resort if the solution is something more natural like diet/exercise/meditation/etc.
but I would keep therapy on the ready, if these don't produce results.
therapy doesn't have to mean pills. aside from the money, there's nothing but benefit to it... particularly if an end game is figured out ahead of time (and not just endless, woody allen lifetime of sitting on a couch blabbing... but hell- even that has benefit).
insurance often covers mental health too. I think this is an obvious next step for her.
But does she have preconceived biases/stigma about therapy that would keep her from going or participating? Our friends who seem to need the most help feel that way- and refuse to even consider going that route. there's also the consideration of how to intervene with her without making her feel defensive and irritated (maybe impossible not to?).
You shouldn't make a big deal about this. As long as you get your projects done and meet the deadlines, who cares how you get there?Man Ive been in a rut lately for no reason whatsoever. So annoying. We just finished a major project at work and its winding down and now I dont feel like doing ANYTHING at work. Yesterday I worked from home and played video games and watched the Yankee game. i havent done that in 5 yrs of working here. Afterwards I felt awfully guilty about it. Its not that I dont have work to do but I lost all motivation this past week. Dreading going in today.
I need a vacation desperately but Im not even looking forward to the one Im going on in July to Clearwater Beach. I feel like its gonna be more stressful than anything.
It's healthy to take an occasional break and avoid getting burned out.All the time.Anyone have suicidal thoughts regardless if things are good or bad? Or just feel like, man, I'm looking forward to that vacation in June, but catching a stray bullet tomorrow...![]()
I know by now that I'd never go through with it, but still have a warm feeling when I think about kicking the bucket.
Good news! Glad you are still around JC.my shrink recently added Abilify to the SNRI i take. Seems to have helped.
Harvard professor Irving Kirsch expressing astonishment at the chemical ineffectiveness of antidepressants in his groundbreaking meta-analysis, Antidepressants and the Placebo Effect:
It simply does not matter what is in the [antidepressant] medication – it might increase serotonin, decrease it, or have no effect on serotonin at all. The effect on depression is the same. What do you call pills, the effects of which are independent of their chemical composition? I call them “placebos.” […] All antidepressants seem to be equally effective, and although the difference between drug and placebo is not clinically significant, it is significant statistically. This leads to the obvious question: What do all of these active drugs have in common that make their effect on depression slightly, but statistically significantly, better than placebo? One thing that antidepressants have in common is that they all produce side effects.
In other words, it is not the drug itself that treats depression, it is the existence of noticeable side effects “proving” that the drugs are working which leads patients to believe in their curative properties.
I have no clue how true this is but to me that would kind of go along with the idea of just doing something. I would not classify myself as depressed although I get down in the dumps like anyone else. Typically the first thing I do is to do something - take a shower, workout at the gym, read a book - something to get moving in a "positive" direction. And similar to the placebo discussed just doing something kind of gets your mind moving forward. I realize this is simplistic but I wonder if those are related in how the mind is working.Harvard professor Irving Kirsch expressing astonishment at the chemical ineffectiveness of antidepressants in his groundbreaking meta-analysis, Antidepressants and the Placebo Effect:
It simply does not matter what is in the [antidepressant] medication – it might increase serotonin, decrease it, or have no effect on serotonin at all. The effect on depression is the same. What do you call pills, the effects of which are independent of their chemical composition? I call them “placebos.” […] All antidepressants seem to be equally effective, and although the difference between drug and placebo is not clinically significant, it is significant statistically. This leads to the obvious question: What do all of these active drugs have in common that make their effect on depression slightly, but statistically significantly, better than placebo? One thing that antidepressants have in common is that they all produce side effects.
In other words, it is not the drug itself that treats depression, it is the existence of noticeable side effects “proving” that the drugs are working which leads patients to believe in their curative properties.
Brighter, not bright. Or lighter colors. Greens, blues for instance as opposed to black, gray and browns.I feel like an ####### when I wear bright colors. Feeling like an ####### makes me depressed.
Well I'm in violation. Keep your head up Bob things have a way of coming around.SAVE IT
No need for quotes or "sorries".
Same here. It seems to be making a difference for me.my shrink recently added Abilify to the SNRI i take. Seems to have helped.
sorry to hear this, fish.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
icelandic whores?sorry to hear this, fish.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
aside from french whores, do you have fixes that work for you?
does that really come as a surprise?I had a shrink throw me out of her office, said I was the most argumentative patient she ever had.
I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
out of curiousity, when do you work out?worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
was your jacket zipper stuck by any chance?I had a shrink throw me out of her office, said I was the most argumentative patient she ever had.
I usually go in the morning, but sometimes around lunchtime. rarely in the evenings.out of curiousity, when do you work out?worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
I ask because the only time I've had insomnia was when I was running/lifting post-dinner (9sih).
gl, gb.
and lol at MOP arguing enough with the therapist to get kicked out.
I get marriage counseling getting argumentative... 3 different people... been there.I usually go in the morning, but sometimes around lunchtime. rarely in the evenings.out of curiousity, when do you work out?worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
I ask because the only time I've had insomnia was when I was running/lifting post-dinner (9sih).
gl, gb.
and lol at MOP arguing enough with the therapist to get kicked out.
my ex-wife and I got kicked out of marriage counseling.
I've done my fair share of solo therapy. I've disagreed with counselors/docs, but I can't imagine having an argument.El Floppo said:I get marriage counseling getting argumentative... 3 different people... been there.-fish- said:I usually go in the morning, but sometimes around lunchtime. rarely in the evenings.El Floppo said:out of curiousity, when do you work out?-fish- said:worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.TheWalkmen said:I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.-fish- said:funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
I ask because the only time I've had insomnia was when I was running/lifting post-dinner (9sih).
gl, gb.
and lol at MOP arguing enough with the therapist to get kicked out.
my ex-wife and I got kicked out of marriage counseling.
but solo therapy? what's the point of arguing? listen... take it in... if you don't like what you're hearing, move on to another therapist. or try listening better. you are paying that person to help you.
Did it help? Can you get a prescription for some ambien or something?-fish- said:worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.TheWalkmen said:I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.-fish- said:funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
Good to know I'm not alone. Same way here. Then I get stupid and turn it around. Pretty vicious, awful, awesome, cycle. Hang in there my brother.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
My experience with sleeping pills hasnt been good. Haven't tried the yoga yet, but I will.Did it help? Can you get a prescription for some ambien or something?worth a shot. I'm not sleeping anyway, so it can't hurt.I have occasional insomnia, and had my last bout of it in the last few weeks. My wife suggested trying yoga at night, and it has worked wonders. Just youtube "yoga relax sleep" and there are some good ones from psyche truth. As an added bonus, the yoga ladies on there are not ugly.funny that my last post in here was October. I could have predicted that. I'm pretty much on a quarterly schedule of a week of insomnia/severe depression. right in the heart of it now.
lots of good stuff happening in my life right now to counteract the crap life throws at everyone, but it just isn't enough to shake me out of this.
Interested to hear how you went about this? I mean, did you just ask your Dr to take you off and he agreed? I hate taking these ####### meds but I'm told that I need them, and maybe I do. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life. These manufactured drugs, I don't know, sometimes I feel like they can cause more harm than good.I'm pleased to announce that I stopped taking Lexapro, which I had been on for 15 years, with much success. I know I've got some heavy lifting to do from a psychological standpoint so I don't fall prey to anxiety/ depression again, but I'm pretty happy with how I feel without the drug.
My prescription was running out, so I decided I was going to start weening myself off. The doctor was agreeable, but wanted to make sure it was best for me. I had only ever been on a 10 mg dose, so I started doing 10, then 5, then back to 10 for a couple weeks. Then it was just 5 every day. Then it was 5, then none, then 5. After a couple weeks of that, I was just off.Interested to hear how you went about this? I mean, did you just ask your Dr to take you off and he agreed? I hate taking these ####### meds but I'm told that I need them, and maybe I do. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life. These manufactured drugs, I don't know, sometimes I feel like they can cause more harm than good.
Thanks Captain! I wish you well and good luck!My prescription was running out, so I decided I was going to start weening myself off. The doctor was agreeable, but wanted to make sure it was best for me. I had only ever been on a 10 mg dose, so I started doing 10, then 5, then back to 10 for a couple weeks. Then it was just 5 every day. Then it was 5, then none, then 5. After a couple weeks of that, I was just off.
I can definitely tell I get a little more edgy, but nothing personality changing. Conversely, I feel a lot more emotion on the high side. As I'm sure you know, these drugs help cut off the lows, but they also cut off highs. It feels really good to have the emotional highs back.
As I mentioned, I have work to do from a brain pattern standpoint. I had been using the drugs as a crutch which allowed me to put off changing the way I think. There's a book called "self coaching, how to heal anxiety and depression" that I need to dedicate myself to.
Did your doctor say you need them? I agree, they can do more harm than good although some are in a situation where it's probably best to take the good with the bad.Interested to hear how you went about this? I mean, did you just ask your Dr to take you off and he agreed? I hate taking these ####### meds but I'm told that I need them, and maybe I do. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life. These manufactured drugs, I don't know, sometimes I feel like they can cause more harm than good.
Yes they say I need them. I probably do but I dont enjoy taking them. I take 300mg of Venlaxafine and 15mg of Mirtazapine daily. I have been on other meds through the years too. They all suck.Did your doctor say you need them? I agree, they can do more harm than good although some are in a situation where it's probably best to take the good with the bad.