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Official Drunk Thread (1 Viewer)

strykerpks said:
WerdTell me you got laid in your absence...I'll hang up and listen tomorrow morning...got a box munching waiting on my bed....PS Hai homer, I just bought a house so you have no lodging worries in MKE anymore
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:confused:I can't wait 'til I have some time to sit down and explain the last few weeks over at the oth:e:r place.Good times for Homer and his wang. God I love bartending. :football:
 
Homer J Simpson said:
Been drunk twice today. :football:

Tanked last night and went to bed around 4.

Woke up at 7:30 for golf.

Boozed by 11:00

Tanked by 1pm.

Eating Taco Bell at 2pm.

Asleep at 3pm.

Woke up at 7.

Went to work at 8.

Closed at 2.

Drunk by 3.

More drunk right now.

Just flicked ashes into the beer I was drinking instead of the empty can next to it.

Still drinking it anyway.

Currently contemplating masturbation.

Masturbated.

Work at noon tomorrow.

Off at 7.

Will be smashed by 10.

Sack deep into a 22-year-old by 2am.

Good times. :confused:
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Fixed.
 
I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping.

 
I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping.

 
I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping.

 
last night, I remember drinking a soda from McDonalds while at my local, nobody in the bar but me and the bartender at 4AM.

I look at my bank statement and notice two charges from an MTA Vending machine for $81 each, yet no metrocard in my wallet.

GB NYC MTA allowing you to get a refund for lost or stolen cards.

 
stuck at work on a maintenance conf call. i wish i was drunk, it would make this manotony managable ... might even help my spelling

 
strykerpks said:
Teumessian Fox said:
Teumessian Fox said:
Teumessian Fox said:
If you are not toasted get out of my damn thread
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No. You get out of my damn thread.
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I think you heard me just fine punchy.
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I ain't your friend, palooka
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BLANKY TIME!!Just got home from a bar scene after the Brewers V Cubs game

Werd
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I don't even care about what you're talking about, I just want someone to talk to me. I don't even want to talk, I just want other people to talk so I can hang around the fringes and be a little less lonely.
 
shining path said:
I don't even care about what you're talking about, I just want someone to talk to me. I don't even want to talk, I just want other people to talk so I can hang around the fringes and be a little less lonely.
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Welcome to my world in the drunk thread :blackdot:Hi Shiney!! How are you? A/S/L?
 
Started drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had.

about time to start the booty texts....

 
:jawdrop: Im not gonna remmember ####

Hi Stu

SO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whore

I had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home :thumbup:

Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/

 
strykerpks said:
:lmao: Im not gonna remmember ####Hi StuSO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whoreI had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home :thumbup:Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/
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She must have been less-than-perfect-looking for you to pass up a green light.
 
Disco Stu said:
Started drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had.about time to start the booty texts....
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Update: on her awwya. #### ican't type way. wtf. keyboard is a ####.anmway :pcickle;
 
shining path said:
strykerpks said:
:lmao: Im not gonna remmember ####Hi StuSO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whoreI had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home :thumbup:Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/
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She must have been less-than-perfect-looking for you to pass up a green light.
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Yes...but her "NWO" shtick wore me out as well
Disco Stu said:
Disco Stu said:
Started drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had.about time to start the booty texts....
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Update: on her awwya. #### ican't type way. wtf. keyboard is a ####.anmway :pcickle;
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Quoting for humor sake ;)
 
I closed the bar at 2:30...and then started drinking. Still working it at 6:10am.

Seriously, the sun is fully up and I just cracked a beer. GB Homer. :confused:

 
Why? Why?

Why can't I just close the bar at 1:30 and head home like a normal person. I have to go meet people at the bar down the street and PowerDrink until they kick us out. and then come home and keep drinking. What possible good is going to come out of this situation?

F### my liver.

 
proninja said:
Homer J Simpson said:
Why? Why?

Why can't I just close the bar at 1:30 and head home like a normal person. I have to go meet people at the bar down the street and PowerDrink™ until they kick us out. and then come home and keep drinking. What possible good is going to come out of this situation?

F### my liver.
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Women
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What, like I'm going to find some random broad in my closet? The trunk of my car, sure...but somewhere in my apartment? It just ain't gonna happen, GB.Or did you mean the going out to the bar part? No, I knew who was there and there was no shot at a hookup...I just wanted to slam 5 pints in 40 minutes. Because apparently that's where I'm at right now.

Actually, what the #### am I #####ing about?

Nevermind.

 
mmmmmm...beer and a couple of sleeping pills...zzzzzzz...drool....

If my next post consists of a forehead-sized mashing of letters, don't be alarmed.

Something like this hghfjghieruhgisjcglxjhilurhkjhbcluhglirthlkrjhlirsuhtilruuuhliurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr is totally ok.

G'night.

 
Still 0 for May :goodposting:

I'm in trouble because I should have been packing tonight...and last night...and Monday...etc :goodposting:

PS Homer, we would both die of alcohol piosining and ###### if we cornholed :goodposting:

 
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