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Porta Potty-Worst place on earth? (5 Viewers)

tom22406

tom22406

Footballguy
Anybody that has ever been to an outdoor festival and has had to use a porta potty knows exactly what I mean when I say it may be the worst place on earth.

The stench,the poo,the mess and did I mention the stench? :X

I avoid them as much as is humanly possible but sometimes you just have to go and this is the only option.I use the hover technique with the seat still lined with TP just in case my ### does somehow touch the seat.Now thinking about this if others use the same method as I do and they have some explosive results this could make things very nasty in a matter of seconds.

So do you use them or just #### your pants?

I think ####ting my pants and just throwing them away may be the best method as long as I have others clothes I can put on.

What's the longest you've waited in line?

 
I know a guy who knows a guy named PPA, (Port-a-Potti Andy) due to his propensity for banging chicks (multiple) in these little pods of love.

 
Not if you have to poop

Indy 500 a couple years ago, long lines and no doors on the bathroom stalls.

Taking a monster dump with a 300+ pound redneck giving me the eyeballs seemed like a pretty bad place.

 
Wrigley said:
Not if you have to poop

Indy 500 a couple years ago, long lines and no doors on the bathroom stalls.

Taking a monster dump with a 300+ pound redneck giving me the eyeballs seemed like a pretty bad place.
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Was this inside or outside?

As if it really matters :X

 
I had to use a porta john at a construction site in Afghanistan once. It was eastern style, which means you squat over a hole in the floor. It was the first time I had to use that style of toilet. FYI, the time to learn the technique is not when you've got diarrhea from the chili in the DFAC. :X

 
in Dubai the workers are usually immigrants from india and they have maybe 1 or 2 porta potties for the whole crew. they were all overflowed so they had to resort to going on the sidewalk. the block around them smelled terrible

 
Had a stomach bug 70 miles into a 100 mile ride right where they had a line of portapots. 95 degrees outside and the john was in the sun. I spent 10 minutes in there clearing the system and sweated 5 pounds of water in that sauna in addition to the various liquid deposits coming out my ######.

 
I remember once, being at a semi-swanky housewarming party for an acquaintance. There was one full bathroom in the place (it was a DC apt. back in our twenties). I'd been drinking all day. Right when we got there, my bowels began to decide that it was time for relief, and now. This could have caused extreme embarrassment for me and the twenty people there -- oh, they would have indeed known. Thankfully, there was a construction site next door to her house. A polite excuse me, a few hops and skips to the elevator, and down and around the apartment complex I bounded, where, to my relief, were the Port-A-Potties.

Thank God for them. Saved me half an hour diarrheal house party embarrassment.

I will never curse them.

 
They are disgusting, but when REALLY needed they are an oasis.

People that hover (and usually miss) are selfish pricks akin to those that use the passing lane as a travel lane, and those that don't return shopping carts to the corale.

Put some tp down and don't overthink it.

 
Last time I think I used one was New Orleans during Mardi Gras back in '98 or so. It was literally full to the top of the seat, thankfully I only had to pee but. Whe I exited I saw that the next person in line was a girl and I just looked her in the eye and said with 100% sincerity "That isn't a fit place for a lady". Her eyes started to fill up with tears, I patted her on the shoulder, shook my head and slowly walked away. There was no saving her.

 
Was behind a truck carrying a couple of these...they had giant labels on them with the name, "Honey Bucket".

Somehow renaming them...made it worse in my mind.

 
dozer said:
They are disgusting, but when REALLY needed they are an oasis.

People that hover (and usually miss) are selfish pricks akin to those that use the passing lane as a travel lane, and those that don't return shopping carts to the corale.

Put some tp down and don't overthink it.
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Hard not to overthink this after you are the 200th person to drop a deuce in the stink hole.

I will hover my ### all day and not think twice about it even with tp down.

 
As a last resort, I'll use one, but I'd sooner find a gas station restroom if available. Most of the gas station bathrooms I've been in have actually been pretty decent, for a public restroom. It's been a while since I've been in a port a potty, though.

 
dozer said:
They are disgusting, but when REALLY needed they are an oasis.

People that hover (and usually miss) are selfish pricks akin to those that use the passing lane as a travel lane, and those that don't return shopping carts to the corale.

Put some tp down and don't overthink it.
Click to expand...
Good posting, but isn't the TP on the seat thing a little ridiculous?

If TP formed an impermeable barrier to fecal matter, what would be the point of washing your hands after you take a dump?

 
NutterButter said:
Some really poor planning on your part if it becomes a necessity.
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Simply not true at all.

When the force hits you have to go unless you just #### your pants.You never been to an open air concert before that last's all day?

No amount of preparing helps in those cases and especially the sudden urge that won't go away.

 
tom22406 said:
NutterButter said:
Some really poor planning on your part if it becomes a necessity.
Click to expand...
Simply not true at all.

When the force hits you have to go unless you just #### your pants.You never been to an open air concert before that last's all day?

No amount of preparing helps in those cases and especially the sudden urge that won't go away.
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You've gotta force that deuce out in the morning at the hotel; drink some coffe, throw in a chew, whatever you have to do. I've been to plenty of all day events and I've never had to take a dump in one of those. When I'm at those events, I'm usually pretty lit and I hardly ever have to take a crap when I'm drunk.

 
NutterButter said:
tom22406 said:
NutterButter said:
Some really poor planning on your part if it becomes a necessity.
Click to expand...
Simply not true at all.

When the force hits you have to go unless you just #### your pants.You never been to an open air concert before that last's all day?

No amount of preparing helps in those cases and especially the sudden urge that won't go away.
Click to expand...
You've gotta force that deuce out in the morning at the hotel; drink some coffe, throw in a chew, whatever you have to do. I've been to plenty of all day events and I've never had to take a dump in one of those. When I'm at those events, I'm usually pretty lit and I hardly ever have to take a crap when I'm drunk.
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I was at a BBQ festival the last time the urge hit and I did the morning dump routine.

Sometimes it just hits and you have no choice but I'm glad you've never had to go the crapper route at one of these.

 
The morning dump around 9AM at music festivals is the worst. The look on all the hungover dejected faces of kids waiting in long lines carrying their own toilet paper eager to empty their bowels in a sweltering hot overflowing portapotty... horrifying.

 
My worst was deep in Mexico. It wasn't a Porto potty, just the bathroom. :X . No real door, simple hole in the ground with a Home Depot bucket in it. HAD to go, at the end....no TP. And that why Arabs don't eat with their left hand.

 
On a similar note, why is public restroom toilet paper so horrible? It's made of the worst materials, which means it's cheap, and takes twice as much to do even half the job of regular bathroom TP. Life is too short to use awful toilet paper.

 
DA RAIDERS said:
My worst was deep in Mexico. It wasn't a Porto potty, just the bathroom. :X . No real door, simple hole in the ground with a Home Depot bucket in it. HAD to go, at the end....no TP. And that why Arabs don't eat with their left hand.
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Friend has a friend who is a Seal. As they landed -- in their plane -- in Iraq, they watched a man take a dump in the street. Two seconds later, a wife came out and wiped his butt with her hand. The Seals groaned. This is who we're liberating?

This is inherently political, but as they left Iraq, my friend reports they all broke out in applause when the plane hit a certain height. They were sick of that...um, ####?

I have no idea if the story is embellished, but he and the guy don't seem to be ones for lying.

Also, at outdoor festivals, I prefer to just drink and not eat in the hot sun. I may faint. I may puke. But I won't have to use the restroom. But I fully understand the urge and necessity. It's just my way of coping.

 
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My buddy nailed a girl in a Porta-Potty circa 2003 at the Preakness. Back then as college kids we all thought that was a huge accomplishment.. Looking back, not so much.

 
Kal El said:
On a similar note, why is public restroom toilet paper so horrible? It's made of the worst materials, which means it's cheap, and takes twice as much to do even half the job of regular bathroom TP. Life is too short to use awful toilet paper.
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Good question.

Sand paper may be more gentle.

 
Chaka said:
Last time I think I used one was New Orleans during Mardi Gras back in '98 or so. It was literally full to the top of the seat, thankfully I only had to pee but. Whe I exited I saw that the next person in line was a girl and I just looked her in the eye and said with 100% sincerity "That isn't a fit place for a lady". Her eyes started to fill up with tears, I patted her on the shoulder, shook my head and slowly walked away. There was no saving her.
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:lmao:
 
If on a golf course I actually pee on the outside of the port o let..Use it as a screen...As far as poo..I grab the TP and find near by woods if possible.

 
rockaction said:
DA RAIDERS said:
My worst was deep in Mexico. It wasn't a Porto potty, just the bathroom. :X . No real door, simple hole in the ground with a Home Depot bucket in it. HAD to go, at the end....no TP. And that why Arabs don't eat with their left hand.
Click to expand...
Friend has a friend who is a Seal. As they landed -- in their plane -- in Iraq, they watched a man take a dump in the street. Two seconds later, a wife came out and wiped his butt with her hand. The Seals groaned. This is who we're liberating?

This is inherently political, but as they left Iraq, my friend reports they all broke out in applause when the plane hit a certain height. They were sick of that...um, ####?

I have no idea if the story is embellished, but he and the guy don't seem to be ones for lying.

Also, at outdoor festivals, I prefer to just drink and not eat in the hot sun. I may faint. I may puke. But I won't have to use the restroom. But I fully understand the urge and necessity. It's just my way of coping.
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Along those lines I am not opposed to taking preventative immodium'

, if i know there is a chance i may be caught short.

 
The last time I ever used one was at an outdoor concert festival back in 1997 known down here as Zeta Fest.

Oh the horror.

 
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If you venture in one of these, you may as well attach your lips to the ### of everyone who took a #### in it before you arrived. Those are floating #### particles you are inhaling.

 
Chaka said:
Last time I think I used one was New Orleans during Mardi Gras back in '98 or so. It was literally full to the top of the seat, thankfully I only had to pee but. Whe I exited I saw that the next person in line was a girl and I just looked her in the eye and said with 100% sincerity "That isn't a fit place for a lady". Her eyes started to fill up with tears, I patted her on the shoulder, shook my head and slowly walked away. There was no saving her.
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LOL!!!!.....I had almost the exact same conversation with a girl next in line. This was at a bank of them near the end of Burbon by Canal.

 
tom22406 said:
NutterButter said:
Some really poor planning on your part if it becomes a necessity.
Click to expand...
Simply not true at all.

When the force hits you have to go unless you just #### your pants.You never been to an open air concert before that last's all day?

No amount of preparing helps in those cases and especially the sudden urge that won't go away.
Click to expand...
:goodposting:

Have used them frequently due to various festivals (BBQfest, ItalianFest, etc) where we rent a couple for our booth/tent. I was overcome with the need to drop a deuce while setting up our BBQfest both. It was hot as hell but thankfully it was empty. I had soiled that thing within 10 mins of us getting it loaded on the scaffold.

It's not an ideal situation but I have no issue with using one when needed.

 
I went to a winery for Memorial Day that had the fancy A/C'd porta-potties. It was like a hotel restroom inside.

 
Avoid like the bubonic plague.

I have had sex lots of places. Even public bathrooms. One night at Denny's sticks out. But that seems too gross to even contemplate.

 
So about 5-6 years ago at BBQfest this guy met a girl on the "dancefloor". Within 30 mins he took her to the porta potty and ####ed her... in the ###.... in the porta potty. Next year they showed up at the booth... married.

True story.

 
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