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wife bought my mother in law some picture frames years ago. mother in law hung them with the stock photos inside. she said she did it because she like the frames & my wife didn't give her pictures to put in them. they hung like that for 3 years or so.
My sister would pretty much murder you. She claustrophobic and her heart condition makes her faint in that type of environment
If Senor Schmutzig can't hold his own against some fainting chick with a bad heart, I don't know what to say.
Related: Our custodian absolutely will not get in the elevator. She is terrified of it. The corner she can’t reach from the doorway just doesn’t get swept. She will push a full mop bucket in there then take the stairs up or down to meet it. Haven’t decided if I’m going to start pushing it into the corner when I get on, or “help” her out and jettison it on random floors. Now that I think about it, maybe I should start carrying some Easter egg dye packs....
Was he coached to do this? Yes or no, this is still good. If coached, this is a sign of good parenting. If not coached, you have a prodigy on your hands!
She was working completely on her own. Apparently inspired by something in the news about millennials who try to cook turkeys in the microwave?
Many moons ago, when there was an "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" ride at Universal Studios, you'd type your name into some keypad at the ride entry, and this giant ET statue would welcome you by name halfway through the line. I, of course, used a pseudonym..... Jasper. I now use that name with Taco Bell's automated ordering system.
brohan i am stealing this and if i am being honest i will probably not give you any credit take that to the bank bromigos
Have 5 and 6 yr old daughters...this is totally onI enjoy scaring the crap out of my kids. As such I’ve developed this thing I call “I’ve been waiting for you” where I’ll lurk in the shadows of a place I know one of my kids is about to go, then emerge when they enter uttering those words in a soft, creepy voice. Example: if my son is showering I know immediately after finishing he’s going to open a certain closet door to throw his dirty laundry into it. So a few times over the years I’ve laid in wait, and as he opens the door I take a step forward from the hanging clothes…”I’ve been waiting for you”. Kind of afraid of doing it to him anymore because he’s 15 and might instinctively punch me in the face, but you get the idea.
The best one of my career happened during our family trip to Italy this summer. We were in a tiny restaurant in Lucca where the restrooms were down in a dimly lit, musky basement. I went down there with my 12 yo daughter, and on the way noted a small closet with a curtain as a door halfway between the restrooms and the stairs. Couldn’t pass it up. So she went into the ladies room, and I went into the men’s room, power-whizzed as fast as I could, then got into position. She came out 30 seconds later and as she passed I stepped out from behind the curtain…”I’ve been waiting for you.” My goodness did she let out a scream. The rest of the family heard it upstairs from their table, and with nothing but the scream to go on my son said right away to my wife and other daughter “dang, he must’ve got her good”.
I’ve seen something similar to this and the dude hiding jumped out and scared the wrong person. Some unexpecting lady walked out of the bathroom first. Good thing she already went to the bathroom.I enjoy scaring the crap out of my kids. As such I’ve developed this thing I call “I’ve been waiting for you” where I’ll lurk in the shadows of a place I know one of my kids is about to go, then emerge when they enter uttering those words in a soft, creepy voice. Example: if my son is showering I know immediately after finishing he’s going to open a certain closet door to throw his dirty laundry into it. So a few times over the years I’ve laid in wait, and as he opens the door I take a step forward from the hanging clothes…”I’ve been waiting for you”. Kind of afraid of doing it to him anymore because he’s 15 and might instinctively punch me in the face, but you get the idea.
The best one of my career happened during our family trip to Italy this summer. We were in a tiny restaurant in Lucca where the restrooms were down in a dimly lit, musky basement. I went down there with my 12 yo daughter, and on the way noted a small closet with a curtain as a door halfway between the restrooms and the stairs. Couldn’t pass it up. So she went into the ladies room, and I went into the men’s room, power-whizzed as fast as I could, then got into position. She came out 30 seconds later and as she passed I stepped out from behind the curtain…”I’ve been waiting for you.” My goodness did she let out a scream. The rest of the family heard it upstairs from their table, and with nothing but the scream to go on my son said right away to my wife and other daughter “dang, he must’ve got her good”.
I have 4 & 7 year old boys. They enjoy waking me up on Weekends before the sun rises. Ever now and then I will pile the pillows up under the sheets and hide in the shadows waiting and then I shriek like a wolverine. It makes my day.I enjoy scaring the crap out of my kids. As such I’ve developed this thing I call “I’ve been waiting for you” where I’ll lurk in the shadows of a place I know one of my kids is about to go, then emerge when they enter uttering those words in a soft, creepy voice. Example: if my son is showering I know immediately after finishing he’s going to open a certain closet door to throw his dirty laundry into it. So a few times over the years I’ve laid in wait, and as he opens the door I take a step forward from the hanging clothes…”I’ve been waiting for you”. Kind of afraid of doing it to him anymore because he’s 15 and might instinctively punch me in the face, but you get the idea.
The best one of my career happened during our family trip to Italy this summer. We were in a tiny restaurant in Lucca where the restrooms were down in a dimly lit, musky basement. I went down there with my 12 yo daughter, and on the way noted a small closet with a curtain as a door halfway between the restrooms and the stairs. Couldn’t pass it up. So she went into the ladies room, and I went into the men’s room, power-whizzed as fast as I could, then got into position. She came out 30 seconds later and as she passed I stepped out from behind the curtain…”I’ve been waiting for you.” My goodness did she let out a scream. The rest of the family heard it upstairs from their table, and with nothing but the scream to go on my son said right away to my wife and other daughter “dang, he must’ve got her good”.
i did this on monday with a colleague that i can't stand. i've always hated pointless small talk, and typically answer the "how are you?" starter question with "hello". he greeted me with "hi. how was your weekend?"" and i flatly responded, "does it matter?" he immediately went on tilt. i enjoyed pissing him off.
Clicking on those links now makes my company's IT department think I'm looking for Nic Cage gifts too.
This reminds me of a story - I still have no fn idea how it happened.
I swear to god I remember my name being in there - HTF did that change to Big Sexy??? I ended up getting a call from the restaurant asking to confirm the reservation for Big Sexy (that was fun to explain). They couldn't change the name in their system since it came from OT, so I had to go into the restaurant and announce our reservation for Big Sexy in front of everyone. The receptionists were dying.
So youThis reminds me of a story - I still have no fn idea how it happened.
6 of us are going to a local restaurant for a Saturday night dinner, so I decided to use OpenTable to make the reservation while I was working. Since this was my first time using the app, I set up an account. I am OCD about form fields that don't auto capitalize the first letter of your name, so I vividly remember OT not capitalizing my name. I was in a hurry and decided to not fix it, but I vividly remember leaving it alone since it was out of character for me (so I know it had my name when I submitted).
I check my email later that night and instead of "Dear Ned" it says "Dear Big Sexy".
I still get spam from OT addressing me as just "Big".
4. His browser auto-filled the form and Ned accidentally selected the Big Sexy from the drop-down of previously used names. This is one he usually only uses for live sex cams but he didn't catch it.
Meanwhile, useless sac is at home in a diabetic coma because he forgot his snack alarm.belljr said:
