matuski
Footballguy
Sorry this went longer than I intended.
I am doing alright in my career, and the prospects for the near future are even better... but I'm not there yet. And so the following played out...
My wife had a job in HR making $60k/yr. We have 2 boys, 6 and 4. About the time our second was born, my wife made a solid pitch to me about letting her quit her job and work part time. The timing seemed great, my best friend need someone to run his office part time... so she wanted to do that. Seemed to make sense - she would have more time for the kids, they would be in daycare halftime instead of full time, we could apparently afford the loss of income... happy wife happy life, right?
Early on it could not have been better, she got really into being a mommy, seemed to enjoy her job, was happy with me (
).
Fast forward 4 years. She hates her job (even though she only works 15 hours/week), has decidedly less interest in the mommy role, put our youngest back into full time daycare (oldest in K now), and now spends her downtime spending money. And more money. And more. The last 17 weeks (when she put youngest in full time dc) she has averaged $786.23/week. That is $13k+ in the last four months.... and rising.
I am usually great at broaching topics without a fight... I get paid to make people like me better than the next guy. I have reached the point where every time I open my bank statement I want to break something. I have brought it up subtely, I have brought it up directly, i have yelled about it, I have begged her to stop. What the hell is going on? I honestly fear where this could lead, as the topic has now reached a level of sensitivity with her that the second I go anywhere near it she goes nuclear on me. I am "trying to control her", I "never want her to have things", none of her friends "get this grief from their husbands". All of my friends are high flyers.. 3 surgeons, uber lawyer, dentist, etc. None of their wives work, and of course they live charmed lives. Through the years, of course, their wives are now my wife's friends. My wife is caught up with keeping up with the Joneses... only the Joneses she has chosen are millionaires. I can't keep up.
In 4 months what i can actually point to as a result of this $13k spending spree - a new scarecrow in our frontyard, a new tree topper for a christmas tree we don't have yet, both of my kids seem to have on new clothes everyday... that is it. The rest is eating out at the coolest restaurants for lunch each day, we always seem to have expensive wine in the fridge (instead of her longtime favorites like Woodbridge and Cavit)... just spending more for the sake of spending more.
I don't know where this post is going, but I guess I wanted to put it out there. Frustrated and I don't know how to reign this in.
Happy Thursday!
I am doing alright in my career, and the prospects for the near future are even better... but I'm not there yet. And so the following played out...
My wife had a job in HR making $60k/yr. We have 2 boys, 6 and 4. About the time our second was born, my wife made a solid pitch to me about letting her quit her job and work part time. The timing seemed great, my best friend need someone to run his office part time... so she wanted to do that. Seemed to make sense - she would have more time for the kids, they would be in daycare halftime instead of full time, we could apparently afford the loss of income... happy wife happy life, right?
Early on it could not have been better, she got really into being a mommy, seemed to enjoy her job, was happy with me (
).Fast forward 4 years. She hates her job (even though she only works 15 hours/week), has decidedly less interest in the mommy role, put our youngest back into full time daycare (oldest in K now), and now spends her downtime spending money. And more money. And more. The last 17 weeks (when she put youngest in full time dc) she has averaged $786.23/week. That is $13k+ in the last four months.... and rising.
I am usually great at broaching topics without a fight... I get paid to make people like me better than the next guy. I have reached the point where every time I open my bank statement I want to break something. I have brought it up subtely, I have brought it up directly, i have yelled about it, I have begged her to stop. What the hell is going on? I honestly fear where this could lead, as the topic has now reached a level of sensitivity with her that the second I go anywhere near it she goes nuclear on me. I am "trying to control her", I "never want her to have things", none of her friends "get this grief from their husbands". All of my friends are high flyers.. 3 surgeons, uber lawyer, dentist, etc. None of their wives work, and of course they live charmed lives. Through the years, of course, their wives are now my wife's friends. My wife is caught up with keeping up with the Joneses... only the Joneses she has chosen are millionaires. I can't keep up.
In 4 months what i can actually point to as a result of this $13k spending spree - a new scarecrow in our frontyard, a new tree topper for a christmas tree we don't have yet, both of my kids seem to have on new clothes everyday... that is it. The rest is eating out at the coolest restaurants for lunch each day, we always seem to have expensive wine in the fridge (instead of her longtime favorites like Woodbridge and Cavit)... just spending more for the sake of spending more.
I don't know where this post is going, but I guess I wanted to put it out there. Frustrated and I don't know how to reign this in.
Happy Thursday!
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
Edited to add: Thank GAWD my bride is the anti-spender. She stresses over almost any expenditure. To the point where it actually makes some things difficult. But at least I don't have the matuski's problem...
