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Stat Book Giveaway Part II (1 Viewer)

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Brenda Warner leaves Kurt for Eli: Says "God Told Me To"

Chunky Soup and Sports Illustrated Agree to Simultaneous Promotions: Will Use An Already Injured Player This Time

Parcells Sued by Top 3 WR's ("She" Glenn, "Give Me the Damn Ball" Johnson and "Towel Boy" Bryant) For Mental Anguish

Butch Davis Fires Coaching Staff: Names Himself "King of Cleveland"

Jerry Jones Buys Controlling Shares of Packers: Trades Brett Favre to 'Boys for Chad Hutchinson and a Bag of Chips

Poston's Fire Personal Agents After Being Decertified by NFL: Upon Realizing They Represent Themselves, Brothers Threaten To Holdout From Re-Negotiating with NFL for Reinstatement

Looking to Join a Winning Team, Philip Rivers Fires Agent, Hires Archie Manning

Sanford Acquires T-Mobile and Nextel: Renames Itself Sharpie T-Nex and Hires Joe Horn and Terrell Owens as Spokesmen

Big Dawg Fired as Head of Dawg Pound in Cleveland: Has "Bone" to Pick With Butch Davis

Big Brother 6: What's My Secret? Names Cast: Team 1 (Jeff Garcia, Jeff Gordon, Kordell Stewart), Team 2 (Onterrio Smith, Ricky Williams, Jamal Lewis), Team 3 (Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, Jenna "Survivor" Lewis)

Chris Berman Picks Eagles to Win Superbowl XXXVIII: Buffalo Mayor Asks For Return of Key To City

Shannon and Sterling Sharpe Make Wager: Who Can Make Most Unintelligible Comments This Broadcast Season

 
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Champ Bailey wants to play on both sides of the ball

In related news....

Jeff Garcia asks Browns management to go after Champ Bailey

 
QB Peyton Manning (Ind) Insures Right Index Finger (Pointer) With Lloyds of London
 
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Butch Davis found beaten and bloodied

Cleveland Police say they have narrowed the list of suspects to 500,000 people

 
On Advice from the Manning Family, Phillip Rivers Demands that the Chargers Skip him in the Draft, 4 Months too Late.

Mike Martz, adds Field Goal Attempts on First Downs to Rams Playbook.

Ray Lewis at the Scene of yet Another Night Club Murder, Not a Suspect at this Time.

Former Bear William Perry wins Salesman of the Month at The Refrigerator Emporium.

American Idol comes to the NFL when Ruben Stoddard Signs at Center with the Cardinals. Clay Aiken signs as Kicker.

 
Rival WRs Troy Brown (NE) and Santana Moss (NYJ) to form Midget wrestling team...filling hole left in WWE by Brock Lesnar
 
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Ron Dayne eats Tiki Barber, finally settles dispute over who will get more carries this season
 
Flogging the Dolphin

Ricky Williams seized, sentenced and caned for possession in the far east. Premature elaboration of comeback incorrect.

 
JAA's Wife creates new drafting tool called VBD:Very Benifical Diagnosis. Joe Bryant sues for copyright infringement!
 
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Couch has right arm amputated after doctors learn that he has been suffering from a mysterious case of "dead arm" for six years.

Marshall Faulk is diagnosed with incurable testicular cancer

Boo Williams has been training with Kevin Kasper "the Friendly Ghost" during the offeason

Brian Griese tears ACL after wrestling with his blind dog

Priest Holmes retires from NFL to pursue his real calling... politics

In an ironic twist of events, Peerless Price goes blind

Kurt Warner seen making deal with the devil who actually turned out to be his wife

Pat Summerall turns out to be 3000 year old mummy

 
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Stat Book giveaway #169 - How many words can you make out of Tagliabue?Just in case you run out of ideas. :D
 
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Joe Madden Arrested

After authorities find that the Madden Cruiser is actually a brothel on wheels.

 
NFL to contract teams in 2006; Cincinnati, Washington, San Diego on short list

Oz changes mind. Gives Dayne heart, brains and courage.

 
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Griese suffers 2nd Degree Frost Bite on Throwing Hand

Apparently Couldn't Get His Hand Out of Beer Cooler

Williams wakes from Bender, Doesn't Remember 'Retiring'

Report: Minor filed Williams Retirement Papers as Practical Joke

 
Kurt Warner Quits Football to do Missionary Work in Thailand

Ray Lewis to Make Guest Appearance on 'Everybody Loves Raymond' Sitcom

Kellen Winslow Forms Cult of the Chosen

Half-Man, Half-Bat Found Living in Mike Alstott's Basement

Gramatica Shocker: Bill and Martin not Related!

 
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Griese dies in Sudden Fire

Might have been saved had firefighters used baking soda, not water, to douse the flames; Officials believe recently retired teammate's joint ignited flames

 
Willis McGahee (RB, BUF) possibly marrying JJ Evans, Dynomite!

McGahee awed by confidence shown him in FBG thread posted by Evans

 
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