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Stat Book Giveaway Part II (1 Viewer)

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AP: The Raiders are not getting FAR on the Atkin's Diet. They are doing well by eating ZERO carbs while munching on HAM out of the CROCK pot, but their downfall is that they won't give up the WHEAT thins. All reports out of Oakland say they are getting stuffed. AP: Ricky goes down: 3 leaves and a cloud of dust.Breaking News: Former running back Ricky Williams busted in drug sting. It appears he narc'ed himself out to the cops. Reports say he failed to plead the 5th (Amendment) because he wanted to be "free." AP: Ryan Leaf tries to motivate local Pee Wee league players by modifying a line from Tom Hanks" "There's no crying in football." In their own words: "Who's your daddy?" by Coach Coughlin while drafting OG Chris Snee.

 
John Madden to be new spokesmen for Viagra

It puts the BOOM! back in his love life says wife.

 
Jevon Kearse Breaks Wind; Breaks Back !!Terrible expulsion of gas ends Kearse's season, Mexican food blamed....
 
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WR Owens (PHI) Comes Out Of Closet, Demands Trade To Browns

After Injures To Several RBs, Coach Tice Comes Out Of Retirement To Steal Carries From Bennett(MIN)

Vikings Trade DT Lesnar To Barnum & Bailey Circus, Get Poo-Slinging Monkey In Return

 
"Play me or trade me." WHACHU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS?
:honda:
sorry missed that.how about.

Chambers injured, Dolphins sign Looker

Dayne wins MVP. In other news, New World Order is formed... --- you can easily insert "Bengals win Superbowl".

Parcells signs Phil Simms

Dodds vows not to give his only competition in League 3 a stat book.

 
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Rufus Cleeland, a janitor at Pro Players Stadium, is listed as the Dolphins #3 running back.

 
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RB Priest Holmes (KC) Loses Job to Grandma-ma

That's right...former CHARLOTTE HORNET (not former Nittany Lion) Larry Johnson becomes new starting running back for the Chiefs

 
Policeman who busted Nate Newton purchases Microsoft - authorities still not sure how he mysteriously acquired so much money at once

 
Titans QB McNair Decapitated in Freak Boating Accident - Listed as Probable for Sunday's Game
 
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Another Raven Arrested

A lady in Baltimore calls 911. Hysterically, she says, "someone's just broken into my house, and I think he's going to rape me!" The police officer says, "I'm sorry, we're really busy at the moment. Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."

 
RB Hearst run over by forklist on practice field

The funny part of this headline is that I used it with my league back in my rookie year, and Hearst was still in Arizona. All the seasoned vets believed me all of Sunday until NFL Primetime. I still bring it up, and they still get angry.

 
NFL Head Coach says player returning from injury can now turn water into wine.

Player quickly jettisons up fantasy football draft boards.

(Because if a coach says it; then it must be true. :rolleyes: )

 
Footballguys.com can't figure out how to only pick 25 winners in Fake Blogger Headline ContestDodds breaks out the extra cases and gives one to every participant :D
 
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Former Colts Coach, Jim Mora, Gives Son Advice in Atlanta When Asked About How To Make the Playoffs: "Playoffs? Playoffs?!..."
 
Commerical Becomes Reality: After Punting the Ball to the Eagles Enroute to Giving up the Lead and the NFC Division Playoff Game, Brett Favre Says to Sherman, "I would Have Gone For it But That's Just Me."
 
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