Suicide (4 Viewers)

[CurlyNight]

It depends on what the pt presents himself before the doctor. If he arrives spiraling out of control/suicidal, meds will be given. You have to get the person stabilized before you can even think about working with them. My cousin went thru cbt while she was hospitalized and other educational classes and yoga/meditation, the whoe cahuna. Problem is she wasn't stabilized and so nothing stuck. The trick is that some folks actually do need the meds to function in every day life. It's a shame they have such a bad name. Had some of these shooters stayed on their meds, we may not have had the mass shootings followed by their suicide. So it is tricky and to say meds are bad, get off of them if you are on them, may not be the best solution for someone while it is with others. Whatever works the best is what to stick with period.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/

You are even in Boston...I would strongly recommend you check this out. I guarantee it will change your life. No drugs, no nothing...

Spirituality is a great thing to have, however with clinical severe type mental illness, it's certainly not the end all help. He should check it out if he likes, but he needs to remain on meds and see his doctor on a regular basis. There is no substitute for medical attention in the end. I went through this with my cousin trying this and that and learned a lot the very hard way. And stopping her meds was not the right thing to do and I can't say if she's ever been the same as before she did. It's hard and hard on the family too. She's basically all I have and if I abandon guiding her and helping her, she'll be doomed. Meds help her from falling hard.

This has nothing to do with spirituality. Mindfullness and meditation has been shown again and again to change your dna for the better. Your brain is plastic and you can rework it to remove depression and anxiety from your life. Just have to put in a little work.

People need to be slowly weened from the meds...nobody is making that suggestion

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/01/07/for-depression-treatment-meditation-might-rival-medication/

https://www.headspace.com/meditation-for-depression

http://life.nationalpost.com/2014/01/13/is-meditation-the-new-anti-depressant-mindfulness-practice-may-be-more-effective-than-drugs-for-anxiety-depression/

I have seen lives absolutely turn around with this (including my own).

Some need the meds. Again it's not a one size fits all treatment even if the diagnosis is the same.... And meds are not always a bad thing if it really helps....

A few other things can help in addition to medication. For example, exercises, meditation and Yoga, spending more time in the sunlight, eating well and getting enough sleep.

Yes, meds alone is not the answer but for many it is a key or they won't care about exercise, diet, meditation, etc....

Yeah. Get more than one medical opinion, interview a few doctors to find the "right" one who you're comfortable with, then trust the doctor to do what's best. As with any treatment, it often takes a couple tries to identify the meds that work for each person.

Meds are there preferably for short term support to indeed get you up and out and trying other things. I would highly recommend the course i pointed out earlier. Long term changing your neural pathways is going to be a lot better path to follow than just taking meds...

good luck

It's true most people want to minimize or eliminate drug dependency. But I think, like hypertension, won't most doctors recommend getting the blood pressure under control first before take other health improvement steps?

The thing is, now I'm under court order to take meds as prescribed. So if I fool around with this and then have another episode.... It could get really ugly really fast.

Do you find the medication helpful?

 

[Rohn Jambo]

It depends on what the pt presents himself before the doctor. If he arrives spiraling out of control/suicidal, meds will be given. You have to get the person stabilized before you can even think about working with them. My cousin went thru cbt while she was hospitalized and other educational classes and yoga/meditation, the whoe cahuna. Problem is she wasn't stabilized and so nothing stuck. The trick is that some folks actually do need the meds to function in every day life. It's a shame they have such a bad name. Had some of these shooters stayed on their meds, we may not have had the mass shootings followed by their suicide. So it is tricky and to say meds are bad, get off of them if you are on them, may not be the best solution for someone while it is with others. Whatever works the best is what to stick with period.

Sounds like good advice to me.

 

[johnnycakes]

http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/

You are even in Boston...I would strongly recommend you check this out. I guarantee it will change your life. No drugs, no nothing...

Spirituality is a great thing to have, however with clinical severe type mental illness, it's certainly not the end all help. He should check it out if he likes, but he needs to remain on meds and see his doctor on a regular basis. There is no substitute for medical attention in the end. I went through this with my cousin trying this and that and learned a lot the very hard way. And stopping her meds was not the right thing to do and I can't say if she's ever been the same as before she did. It's hard and hard on the family too. She's basically all I have and if I abandon guiding her and helping her, she'll be doomed. Meds help her from falling hard.

This has nothing to do with spirituality. Mindfullness and meditation has been shown again and again to change your dna for the better. Your brain is plastic and you can rework it to remove depression and anxiety from your life. Just have to put in a little work.

People need to be slowly weened from the meds...nobody is making that suggestion

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/01/07/for-depression-treatment-meditation-might-rival-medication/

https://www.headspace.com/meditation-for-depression

http://life.nationalpost.com/2014/01/13/is-meditation-the-new-anti-depressant-mindfulness-practice-may-be-more-effective-than-drugs-for-anxiety-depression/

I have seen lives absolutely turn around with this (including my own).

Some need the meds. Again it's not a one size fits all treatment even if the diagnosis is the same.... And meds are not always a bad thing if it really helps....

A few other things can help in addition to medication. For example, exercises, meditation and Yoga, spending more time in the sunlight, eating well and getting enough sleep.

Yes, meds alone is not the answer but for many it is a key or they won't care about exercise, diet, meditation, etc....

Yeah. Get more than one medical opinion, interview a few doctors to find the "right" one who you're comfortable with, then trust the doctor to do what's best. As with any treatment, it often takes a couple tries to identify the meds that work for each person.

Meds are there preferably for short term support to indeed get you up and out and trying other things. I would highly recommend the course i pointed out earlier. Long term changing your neural pathways is going to be a lot better path to follow than just taking meds...

good luck

It's true most people want to minimize or eliminate drug dependency. But I think, like hypertension, won't most doctors recommend getting the blood pressure under control first before take other health improvement steps?

The thing is, now I'm under court order to take meds as prescribed. So if I fool around with this and then have another episode.... It could get really ugly really fast.

Do you find the medication helpful?

Yes. The medications drastically control mood. For the better) which results in drastically better behavior.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Do you find the medication helpful?

Yes. The medications drastically control mood. For the better) which results in drastically better behavior.

Oh, that's good indeed.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Pretty good site on symptoms of depression in men... just found it today.

http://www.mengetdepression.com/symptoms/

I checked out the article that Johnnycakes posted and I think people can have different degrees of depression without realizing it themselves.

 

[CurlyNight]

It depends on what the pt presents himself before the doctor. If he arrives spiraling out of control/suicidal, meds will be given. You have to get the person stabilized before you can even think about working with them. My cousin went thru cbt while she was hospitalized and other educational classes and yoga/meditation, the whoe cahuna. Problem is she wasn't stabilized and so nothing stuck. The trick is that some folks actually do need the meds to function in every day life. It's a shame they have such a bad name. Had some of these shooters stayed on their meds, we may not have had the mass shootings followed by their suicide. So it is tricky and to say meds are bad, get off of them if you are on them, may not be the best solution for someone while it is with others. Whatever works the best is what to stick with period.

Sounds like good advice to me.

The thing is if you go to a psychiatrist and say I'm very depressed/anxious- whatever- and his solution off the bat is meds then turn around and leave. Good docs should do a thorough history of your past, fam history, life style, diet, is it situational or global everything, etc etc. Then depending on the severity and how long it's been going on, does it effect enough of your life that you do need help--then meds could be tried. But again, if someone is suffering badly then meds will be given first to stabilize them to where they are able to learn about therapy, life style, meditation, etc. My cousin is pretty far gone and meds are basically keeping her from offing herself I really believe so no way in hell would I ever not give her her meds. She forgets a lot of things as that's common with depression/anxiety that's severe enough so I'm the caregiver in many ways. She lives with me now. I really think had she sought help before 2011 when I had no idea how bad it was and everyone was telling her it's all in your mind and do yoga, exercise, quit eating junk, etc etc- that she wouldn't have gotten so far down that she really can't get back up and is now on SSDI living with me. Horrible thing to see in a 37 year old and I don't leave her alone. My friend will come over when I need to go out. You just never know when someone so bad off will snap and despite keeping dangerous objects away, you can always find something.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

It depends on what the pt presents himself before the doctor. If he arrives spiraling out of control/suicidal, meds will be given. You have to get the person stabilized before you can even think about working with them. My cousin went thru cbt while she was hospitalized and other educational classes and yoga/meditation, the whoe cahuna. Problem is she wasn't stabilized and so nothing stuck. The trick is that some folks actually do need the meds to function in every day life. It's a shame they have such a bad name. Had some of these shooters stayed on their meds, we may not have had the mass shootings followed by their suicide. So it is tricky and to say meds are bad, get off of them if you are on them, may not be the best solution for someone while it is with others. Whatever works the best is what to stick with period.

Sounds like good advice to me.

The thing is if you go to a psychiatrist and say I'm very depressed/anxious- whatever- and his solution off the bat is meds then turn around and leave. Good docs should do a thorough history of your past, fam history, life style, diet, etc etc. Then depending on the severity and how long it's been going on, does it effect enough of your life that you do need help--then meds could be tried. But again, if someone is suffering badly then meds will be given first to stabilize them to where they are able to learn about therapy, life style, meditation, etc. My cousin is pretty far gone and meds are basically keeping her from offing herself I really believe so no way in hell would I ever not give her her meds. She forgets a lot of things as that's common with depression/anxiety that's severe enough so I'm the caregiver in many ways. She lives with me now. I really think had she sought help before 2011 when I had no idea how bad it was and everyone was telling her it's all in your mind and do yoga, exercise, quit eating junk, etc etc- that she wouldn't have gotten so far down that she really can't get back up and is now on SSDI living with me. Horrible thing to see in a 37 year old and I don't leave her alone. My friend will come over when I need to go out. You just never know when someone so bad off will snap and despite keeping dangerous objects away, you can always find something.

A good doctor should be much more than a medicine dispenser. It is not easy for people to openly talk about depression, or other serious health issues for that matter. Patients often have to deal with a lot of uncertainty and go through scary times on their own until they get better. In my opinion, the medical profession can do a lot better in this perspective.

I'm sorry to hear what your cousin have gone through. Depression/anxiety is easier to treat early on like a lot of other things. There is definitely a lot of misconception about it. We can only benefit when correct information is shared by the general public.

 

[CurlyNight]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

There is such a stigma with meds and I do not understand it. Depression and its kin are MEDICAL conditions. If you had a gaping chest wound you would have it addressed and follow up with whatever meds were prescribed to help you heal and avoid infection. However, since psychiatric illness is invisible people are afraid to get it treated. Stick to your meds and work with your doctor to find healing - when the time is right you can wean yourself off of these meds under medical supervision - but don't be a hero or stubborn to the point that you do not ask for help. It is not a weakness, it is a disease.

 

[CurlyNight]

It depends on what the pt presents himself before the doctor. If he arrives spiraling out of control/suicidal, meds will be given. You have to get the person stabilized before you can even think about working with them. My cousin went thru cbt while she was hospitalized and other educational classes and yoga/meditation, the whoe cahuna. Problem is she wasn't stabilized and so nothing stuck. The trick is that some folks actually do need the meds to function in every day life. It's a shame they have such a bad name. Had some of these shooters stayed on their meds, we may not have had the mass shootings followed by their suicide. So it is tricky and to say meds are bad, get off of them if you are on them, may not be the best solution for someone while it is with others. Whatever works the best is what to stick with period.

Sounds like good advice to me.

The thing is if you go to a psychiatrist and say I'm very depressed/anxious- whatever- and his solution off the bat is meds then turn around and leave. Good docs should do a thorough history of your past, fam history, life style, diet, etc etc. Then depending on the severity and how long it's been going on, does it effect enough of your life that you do need help--then meds could be tried. But again, if someone is suffering badly then meds will be given first to stabilize them to where they are able to learn about therapy, life style, meditation, etc. My cousin is pretty far gone and meds are basically keeping her from offing herself I really believe so no way in hell would I ever not give her her meds. She forgets a lot of things as that's common with depression/anxiety that's severe enough so I'm the caregiver in many ways. She lives with me now. I really think had she sought help before 2011 when I had no idea how bad it was and everyone was telling her it's all in your mind and do yoga, exercise, quit eating junk, etc etc- that she wouldn't have gotten so far down that she really can't get back up and is now on SSDI living with me. Horrible thing to see in a 37 year old and I don't leave her alone. My friend will come over when I need to go out. You just never know when someone so bad off will snap and despite keeping dangerous objects away, you can always find something.

A good doctor should be much more than a medicine dispenser. It is not easy for people to openly talk about depression, or other serious health issues for that matter. Patients often have to deal with a lot of uncertainty and go through scary times on their own until they get better. In my opinion, the medical profession can do a lot better in this perspective.

I'm sorry to hear what your cousin have gone through. Depression/anxiety is easier to treat early on like a lot of other things. There is definitely a lot of misconception about it. We can only benefit when correct information is shared by the general public.

She's had major depression all her life but as it is with our mom's generation where MI wasn't taken seriously or known much about, it was brushed off until the bow finally broke in 2011. She should have been treated as a child.

 

[CurlyNight]

There is such a stigma with meds and I do not understand it. Depression and its kin are MEDICAL conditions. If you had a gaping chest wound you would have it addressed and follow up with whatever meds were prescribed to help you heal and avoid infection. However, since psychiatric illness is invisible people are afraid to get it treated. Stick to your meds and work with your doctor to find healing - when the time is right you can wean yourself off of these meds under medical supervision - but don't be a hero or stubborn to the point that you do not ask for help. It is not a weakness, it is a disease.

You are very correct. The issue is I think that it's not like physical meds where there's a handful to try for each problem. For MI you could try 1 or a combo of this and that or that doesn't work, try these... and on it goes. It's very taxing especially if not only it doesn't work but you have side effects from it. The other thing is with most meds unless you are taking a very low dose it will be hard to ween off from them even slowly with a doc supervision. It's not fun as I've seen this happen and couldn't get her back on fast enough due to her misery. I have a friend who takes 20 mg prozac. She takes it daily for the most part and has gone some days forgetting it. In this case it wouldn't be hard to slowly wean off, but if you are taking high doses and to boot, for like 6 months or more, then it's no fun. At that point if you are doing well then why ween off of them? What's the scare? People who have hypertension issues take meds every day even if the current bp reading is normal. No different than psych ones. They both are needed for you to live. You are not living if you are miserable as hell. So this stereotype that docs are just pushing pills and you don't need them is not true in majority of cases. There are bad docs in every field. You just need to get with the right one.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

There is such a stigma with meds and I do not understand it. Depression and its kin are MEDICAL conditions. If you had a gaping chest wound you would have it addressed and follow up with whatever meds were prescribed to help you heal and avoid infection. However, since psychiatric illness is invisible people are afraid to get it treated. Stick to your meds and work with your doctor to find healing - when the time is right you can wean yourself off of these meds under medical supervision - but don't be a hero or stubborn to the point that you do not ask for help. It is not a weakness, it is a disease.

I agree with you 100% but it is not only meds. Some people do not like to visit doctors altogether.

 

[CurlyNight]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

Yes the old watching the clock as psych's do. Sucks. But you do have to be prepared and get your own agenda out. Write down everything and take it with you in order of importance just in case something comes up and the time is even shorter, which I've seen happen as well. So the night before I do a brain storm and then I take lead with the psych. I know my cousin couldn't which is why it's important to have a family/friend with you who has it together and can blow through the issues as the minutes are precious. One time with one psych time had run out and it felt like she didn't want to give my cousin her refill rxs because she was done! That's when we changed probably for the 4th time at that point. It's exhausting, especially when my cousin is on MediCal. Even fewer picks to choose from. But I found this lady who takes it and is a gem. Very lucky I know. I knew she was really good for us so I switched to her before she became MediCal eligible and was a cash pt only with this doc. I wound up paying cash for 4 visits because as it goes with the government, they take their sweet time in getting their ####ttt together and people set up for what they are qualified for. But that's another one of my nightmares with this whole crappola process.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

Yes the old watching the clock as psych's do. Sucks. But you do have to be prepared and get your own agenda out. Write down everything and take it with you in order of importance just in case something comes up and the time is even shorter, which I've seen happen as well. So the night before I do a brain storm and then I take lead with the psych. I know my cousin couldn't which is why it's important to have a family/friend with you who has it together and can blow through the issues as the minutes are precious. One time with one psych time had run out and it felt like she didn't want to give my cousin her refill rxs because she was done! That's when we changed probably for the 4th time at that point. It's exhausting, especially when my cousin is on MediCal. Even fewer picks to choose from. But I found this lady who takes it and is a gem. Very lucky I know. I knew she was really good for us so I switched to her before she became MediCal eligible and was a cash pt only with this doc. I wound up paying cash for 4 visits because as it goes with the government, they take their sweet time in getting their ####ttt together and people set up for what they are qualified for. But that's another one of my nightmares with this whole crappola process.

It seems to me you're providing very good support to your cousin

 

[CurlyNight]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

Yes the old watching the clock as psych's do. Sucks. But you do have to be prepared and get your own agenda out. Write down everything and take it with you in order of importance just in case something comes up and the time is even shorter, which I've seen happen as well. So the night before I do a brain storm and then I take lead with the psych. I know my cousin couldn't which is why it's important to have a family/friend with you who has it together and can blow through the issues as the minutes are precious. One time with one psych time had run out and it felt like she didn't want to give my cousin her refill rxs because she was done! That's when we changed probably for the 4th time at that point. It's exhausting, especially when my cousin is on MediCal. Even fewer picks to choose from. But I found this lady who takes it and is a gem. Very lucky I know. I knew she was really good for us so I switched to her before she became MediCal eligible and was a cash pt only with this doc. I wound up paying cash for 4 visits because as it goes with the government, they take their sweet time in getting their ####ttt together and people set up for what they are qualified for. But that's another one of my nightmares with this whole crappola process.

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

Yes the old watching the clock as psych's do. Sucks. But you do have to be prepared and get your own agenda out. Write down everything and take it with you in order of importance just in case something comes up and the time is even shorter, which I've seen happen as well. So the night before I do a brain storm and then I take lead with the psych. I know my cousin couldn't which is why it's important to have a family/friend with you who has it together and can blow through the issues as the minutes are precious. One time with one psych time had run out and it felt like she didn't want to give my cousin her refill rxs because she was done! That's when we changed probably for the 4th time at that point. It's exhausting, especially when my cousin is on MediCal. Even fewer picks to choose from. But I found this lady who takes it and is a gem. Very lucky I know. I knew she was really good for us so I switched to her before she became MediCal eligible and was a cash pt only with this doc. I wound up paying cash for 4 visits because as it goes with the government, they take their sweet time in getting their ####ttt together and people set up for what they are qualified for. But that's another one of my nightmares with this whole crappola process.

It seems to me you're providing very good support to your cousin

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

 

[cstu]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

So what's the play if you don't want to discuss with your primary doctor? Can you contact a psychiatrist and have them prescribe what you need?

 

[Rohn Jambo]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Most people don't even know how severe they may have it so it's downplayed. My cousin on her slightly better days would say she's fine now to the doc. I have to go with her even if she could on her own and tell doc what's going on. Cousin tends to downplay or minimize it when she is asked to describe how she feels because she hates meds, even though she saw where it went when she went off them. At this point for sure addiction is far so not a concern of mine. It helps her not kill herself and for that I'm grateful because nothing else has worked. Luckily she has a great psych and doesn't just switch meds at a whim like some do. She really works with us and secondarily takes care of me too because God knows I may not have MI but I feel like sometimes I'm in that boat too because it is hard doing it 24/7 with someone in this state.

I see my primary physician maybe 2 times a year for several years and it still feels only slightly better than talking to a stranger. I try to ask all the questions I have in every visit just so I can put my own mind at ease, but knowing the next appointment starts in 5 minutes is not the most conducive. You know how they ask you to describe how much it hurts on a scale from 1 to 10? I curse in my head every time I hear it. Hopefully, they will come up with a more objective/accurate way to measure how well someone is feeling soon. In the meantime, you just have to think about it before the visit so you don't waste the valuable time you have for the short appointment. You'd hope a doctor who has worked with some patients for a while may know they tend to downplay or exaggerate but don't count on it - not everyone is House M.D.

So what's the play if you don't want to discuss with your primary doctor? Can you contact a psychiatrist and have them prescribe what you need?

I think you can ask your primary doctor to recommend a specialist and then you can schedule a consultation? This seems to be the general procedure.

 

[CurlyNight]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

I do too but I don't think we'll see anything significant in my lifetime at least as far as advances. I've seen gadgets that placed on the head has really helped somewith severe depression but all this stuff is just too early and needs more research. Messing with gadgets and with your brain at that imo is scarier than other parts of the body. I remember when my cousin was in the hospital. This guy was getting ECT for severe depression. Now it's not the old strap them down and zap them while they are kicking and screaming. There's a better technique nowdays. When I'd visit my cousin in the hospital I'd chat with some pts. This guy was one. He felt better somewhat, but now had some memory loss. The horrifying look on his face sticks with me. To not know if it's permanent or not because you messed with your mind like that is very scary. At least with meds they've been around since the 1950s and have gotten much better and much more studied over time.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

I do too but I don't think we'll see anything significant in my lifetime at least as far as advances. I've seen gadgets that placed on the head has really helped somewith severe depression but all this stuff is just too early and needs more research. Messing with gadgets and with your brain at that imo is scarier than other parts of the body. I remember when my cousin was in the hospital. This guy was getting ECT for severe depression. Now it's not the old strap them down and zap them while they are kicking and screaming. There's a better technique nowdays. When I'd visit my cousin in the hospital I'd chat with some pts. This guy was one. He felt better somewhat, but now had some memory loss. The horrifying look on his face sticks with me. To not know if it's permanent or not because you messed with your mind like that is very scary. At least with meds they've been around since the 1950s and have gotten much better and much more studied over time.

Seriously? I thought that is the old method.

 

[CurlyNight]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

I do too but I don't think we'll see anything significant in my lifetime at least as far as advances. I've seen gadgets that placed on the head has really helped somewith severe depression but all this stuff is just too early and needs more research. Messing with gadgets and with your brain at that imo is scarier than other parts of the body. I remember when my cousin was in the hospital. This guy was getting ECT for severe depression. Now it's not the old strap them down and zap them while they are kicking and screaming. There's a better technique nowdays. When I'd visit my cousin in the hospital I'd chat with some pts. This guy was one. He felt better somewhat, but now had some memory loss. The horrifying look on his face sticks with me. To not know if it's permanent or not because you messed with your mind like that is very scary. At least with meds they've been around since the 1950s and have gotten much better and much more studied over time.

Seriously? I thought that is the old method.

Old method they didn't give you much of anything so you felt the zaps. I don't know when they started administering anesthetics but that guy said he doesn't really feel anything other than being out of it for awhile and fuzzy. It's sad. I don't know what happened to him as he left after my cousin did. I hope he got his memory back. :(

 

[Rohn Jambo]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

I do too but I don't think we'll see anything significant in my lifetime at least as far as advances. I've seen gadgets that placed on the head has really helped somewith severe depression but all this stuff is just too early and needs more research. Messing with gadgets and with your brain at that imo is scarier than other parts of the body. I remember when my cousin was in the hospital. This guy was getting ECT for severe depression. Now it's not the old strap them down and zap them while they are kicking and screaming. There's a better technique nowdays. When I'd visit my cousin in the hospital I'd chat with some pts. This guy was one. He felt better somewhat, but now had some memory loss. The horrifying look on his face sticks with me. To not know if it's permanent or not because you messed with your mind like that is very scary. At least with meds they've been around since the 1950s and have gotten much better and much more studied over time.

Seriously? I thought that is the old method.

Old method they didn't give you much of anything so you felt the zaps. I don't know when they started administering anesthetics but that guy said he doesn't really feel anything other than being out of it for awhile and fuzzy. It's sad. I don't know what happened to him as he left after my cousin did. I hope he got his memory back. :(

I check a couple of medical sites. There are alternative treatments and a couple of new drugs that are similarly effective without some of the side effects of ECT.

 

[CurlyNight]

I'm it for her. Family is in denial and even my fam is trying to get me to let go and let her find her way. Uh didn't this happen (back when no one bothered telling me she tried committing suicide and was hospitalized????!) and look what happened. No you don't let someone in severe trouble let them find their way no matter how much they wear you down. I sure couldn't live with myself if I did and I got a call that this person is now dead. People give up on MI people way too soon. If it's too much for you, find someone who can take over. It's like when my grandma had Altzheimer. She couldn't be left alone at all. So when one kid was burned out another took over. That's what I do with my best friend as this seems to be a life long thing for me and her and I certainly need a break every now and then or I'd be locked up myself. Pisses me off when people leave people be because really, they can't deal with it. That's when things will go south. Get a schedule of help going and it can be done. And the person suffering isn't doing it to be a pain in the ###. It's a medical condition that just needs treatment and help, however long and whatever it takes.

I'm a very sensitive caring person by nature. I can't see an animal suffer much less a human AND much less my family member..

I hope to see more advances in this medical field but more awareness is definitely needed.

I do too but I don't think we'll see anything significant in my lifetime at least as far as advances. I've seen gadgets that placed on the head has really helped somewith severe depression but all this stuff is just too early and needs more research. Messing with gadgets and with your brain at that imo is scarier than other parts of the body. I remember when my cousin was in the hospital. This guy was getting ECT for severe depression. Now it's not the old strap them down and zap them while they are kicking and screaming. There's a better technique nowdays. When I'd visit my cousin in the hospital I'd chat with some pts. This guy was one. He felt better somewhat, but now had some memory loss. The horrifying look on his face sticks with me. To not know if it's permanent or not because you messed with your mind like that is very scary. At least with meds they've been around since the 1950s and have gotten much better and much more studied over time.

Seriously? I thought that is the old method.

Old method they didn't give you much of anything so you felt the zaps. I don't know when they started administering anesthetics but that guy said he doesn't really feel anything other than being out of it for awhile and fuzzy. It's sad. I don't know what happened to him as he left after my cousin did. I hope he got his memory back. :(

I check a couple of medical sites. There are alternatives treatments and a couple of new drugs that are similarly effective without some of the side effects of ECT.

I don't know his case. I know he's been severe for years, in and out a bazillion times, and ECT is the absolute last resort as whatever they tried on him didn't do much.

Plus this was 2011 so who knows.... maybe too new or something...

 

[PatsWillWin]

Just wanted to say very sorry to hear about your troubles JC and I hope you get the help you need. I too read that post and thought you were referring to an anniversary and that all happened last year. Scary stuff. Please get the help you need. Hope you had a fun night last night.

 

[cphk96]

Hello All

I have dealt with severe depression/anxiety and continue to, to this day.

In my childhood, I endured various abuses from strangers and loves ones. To

mask my pain, I turned to drugs/alcohol. I abused those things until 1996 (the day before my 26th birthday).

During that time, I felt suicidal and despair. I sought treatment for my addictions in that fateful day

in 1996. But alas, I took to sexual addiction to mask the pain that alcohol/drugs had covered up.

From 1996 to 2011, I pursued that addiction in order to get "high". In 2011, I stopped with the help of another program.

I went to see a therapist and a psychologist. The doctor gave meds. The therapist and I dealt with my issues that I had.

I struggled during those times. There were days when I had just finished my session that I would cry and be extremely depressed. I was in a state of extreme depression. I thought that it would never end. I seriously thought of suicide, I thought that it would take care of the pain that I felt, and the pain that I caused others. I was very

shameful of what I had done to others. I remember one bad episode where the thought and plans were so intense that the actions to carry it out was a decision that I was

prepared to do what it took to end the pain. I remember (I know some of you think of me as a sissy-boy, but I don’t not care) sitting on our bed and hugging my girlfriends/my teddy bear and rocking back and forth. For some odd reason something told me to call the mental health hot line on my medical card to get help. The hot line asked me

if I I was a threat to myself, and I told them yes, that the pain was too great. They told me to go to the ER, and if I did not go, that they were going to call the police to escort me there. When the girlfriend came home about 15-20 minutes later, I started to cry and told her what went down, and that I needed to go to the ER. That is

when they started my meds and therapy.

After about 1.5 years of therapy and medications, things have changed a little bit. Whereas, I used to cry daily and have suicidal thoughts, there is less

depression. Depression never seems to go away, and I think about suicide almost weekly. The most important things that I have learned from therapy and self-realization, is that my past has played a huge role in my depression and the various addictions that I had. I realize that no matter how much I think that I believe that my girlfriend is tired of my depression/suicidal thoughts, she has been there, and will always be there. I also learned that I need to find things to stay busy (hobbies), read positive

books, and ask myself, “why do I feel this way?”. My biggest wish for myself is to be rid of this depression/ suicidal thought and live a (in my eyes) a happy life.

Thank you for allowing me to post this.

Chris

 

[CurlyNight]

So sorry for your battle, Chris. Keep doing what you are doing with your hobbies and such to keep busy. Having a good support is key and thankfully it sounds like your gf is a good one. It is a day to day thing, just like it was in getting past your addictions and still continues to be. I hope you can get rid of it or enough to where you no longer entertain suicidal thoughts and have far more good days than bad. Look for support wherever you can get it. Some people benefit greatly from group therapy. I assume you've read this whole thread but if not, check it out as there are some great advice and links that have helped others. Best wishes to you in this new year and thanks for sharing.

 

[Dezbelief]

Missing you Dad, sure wish your grandkids would have gotten to know you.

As he would have said, "Keep on fighting the good fight."

I sure wish I had known what fight he was talking about before it was too late. Gentlemen please reach out to those who love you the most.

 

[shadyridr]

Thanks fo sharing Chris. Best wishes

 

[randall146]

Hang in there Chris. Lots of us here are in our own similar battles. You keeping up with the counseling for the last 18 months, and talking about it here, are huge positives in my opinion. Trying to stay busy is key for me as well

 

[El Floppo]

Hang in there Chris. Lots of us here are in our own similar battles. You keeping up with the counseling for the last 18 months, and talking about it here, are huge positives in my opinion. Trying to stay busy is key for me as well

it's so easy to forget how fine a line it is from "doing ok" to "doing not ok" and just how steep a slope the latter is for depression. great that you're sharing in here, IMO- just the act of writing this stuff down (for me at least) is a great step towards positive action. GL!

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/

You are even in Boston...I would strongly recommend you check this out. I guarantee it will change your life. No drugs, no nothing...

Spirituality is a great thing to have, however with clinical severe type mental illness, it's certainly not the end all help. He should check it out if he likes, but he needs to remain on meds and see his doctor on a regular basis. There is no substitute for medical attention in the end. I went through this with my cousin trying this and that and learned a lot the very hard way. And stopping her meds was not the right thing to do and I can't say if she's ever been the same as before she did. It's hard and hard on the family too. She's basically all I have and if I abandon guiding her and helping her, she'll be doomed. Meds help her from falling hard.

This has nothing to do with spirituality. Mindfullness and meditation has been shown again and again to change your dna for the better. Your brain is plastic and you can rework it to remove depression and anxiety from your life. Just have to put in a little work.

People need to be slowly weened from the meds...nobody is making that suggestion

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/01/07/for-depression-treatment-meditation-might-rival-medication/

https://www.headspace.com/meditation-for-depression

http://life.nationalpost.com/2014/01/13/is-meditation-the-new-anti-depressant-mindfulness-practice-may-be-more-effective-than-drugs-for-anxiety-depression/

I have seen lives absolutely turn around with this (including my own).

Thank you so much for posting these and other helpful links in this thread. I hope to review/use/read in greater detail in the very near future.

Can you change your username please?

 

[kface]

http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/

You are even in Boston...I would strongly recommend you check this out. I guarantee it will change your life. No drugs, no nothing...

Spirituality is a great thing to have, however with clinical severe type mental illness, it's certainly not the end all help. He should check it out if he likes, but he needs to remain on meds and see his doctor on a regular basis. There is no substitute for medical attention in the end. I went through this with my cousin trying this and that and learned a lot the very hard way. And stopping her meds was not the right thing to do and I can't say if she's ever been the same as before she did. It's hard and hard on the family too. She's basically all I have and if I abandon guiding her and helping her, she'll be doomed. Meds help her from falling hard.

This has nothing to do with spirituality. Mindfullness and meditation has been shown again and again to change your dna for the better. Your brain is plastic and you can rework it to remove depression and anxiety from your life. Just have to put in a little work.

People need to be slowly weened from the meds...nobody is making that suggestion

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/01/07/for-depression-treatment-meditation-might-rival-medication/

https://www.headspace.com/meditation-for-depression

http://life.nationalpost.com/2014/01/13/is-meditation-the-new-anti-depressant-mindfulness-practice-may-be-more-effective-than-drugs-for-anxiety-depression/

I have seen lives absolutely turn around with this (including my own).

Thank you so much for posting these and other helpful links in this thread. I hope to review/use/read in greater detail in the very near future.

Can you change your username please?

I would urge anyone suffering from depression or anxiety to at least check the stuff out. I guarantee there is something similar to this in your city or close by

go on youtube and type in killface...then you will appreciate it more

 

[cstu]

go on youtube and type in killface...then you will appreciate it more

At least get the avatar.

 

[CurlyNight]

1-800-273-8255

Does anyone know how this hotline works?

I have a friend in trouble. I advised she call. She claims she did, was put on hold, and was told they would call her back later. Is that possible?

I've had that happen to some folks I know. They prioritize calls. If someone is about to pull the trigger type of thing then that call goes first. If she said she's just looking to talk then this may be why she got that message. Tell her make it urgent and they shouldn't be putting her on hold and calling back later. Good luck to her. Hate hearing these things. :(

 

[johnnycakes]

1-800-273-8255

Does anyone know how this hotline works?

I have a friend in trouble. I advised she call. She claims she did, was put on hold, and was told they would call her back later. Is that possible?

I've had that happen to some folks I know. They prioritize calls. If someone is about to pull the trigger type of thing then that call goes first. If she said she's just looking to talk then this may be why she got that message. Tell her make it urgent and they shouldn't be putting her on hold and calling back later. Good luck to her. Hate hearing these things. :(

I called the police in her city for a welfare check. They are taking her to the hospital for evaluation.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

 

[CurlyNight]

1-800-273-8255

Does anyone know how this hotline works?

I have a friend in trouble. I advised she call. She claims she did, was put on hold, and was told they would call her back later. Is that possible?

I've had that happen to some folks I know. They prioritize calls. If someone is about to pull the trigger type of thing then that call goes first. If she said she's just looking to talk then this may be why she got that message. Tell her make it urgent and they shouldn't be putting her on hold and calling back later. Good luck to her. Hate hearing these things. :(

I called the police in her city for a welfare check. They are taking her to the hospital for evaluation.

Even better. Hopefully it's a hospital with a psych ward in it and not the ER of a regular hospital. They don't treat you there. Found that out the very hard way with taking someone in. We were there 8 loooooooooooong hours before they could coordinate getting her transferred to El Camino in Mountain View where there is an inpatient mental facility there. Last time I do an ER with someone with psych issues unless it's an OD. Best wishes to her.

 

[CurlyNight]

1-800-273-8255

Does anyone know how this hotline works?

I have a friend in trouble. I advised she call. She claims she did, was put on hold, and was told they would call her back later. Is that possible?

I've had that happen to some folks I know. They prioritize calls. If someone is about to pull the trigger type of thing then that call goes first. If she said she's just looking to talk then this may be why she got that message. Tell her make it urgent and they shouldn't be putting her on hold and calling back later. Good luck to her. Hate hearing these things. :(

I called the police in her city for a welfare check. They are taking her to the hospital for evaluation.

Even better. Hopefully it's a hospital with a psych ward in it and not the ER of a regular hospital. They don't treat you there. Found that out the very hard way with taking someone in. We were there 8 loooooooooooong hours before they could coordinate getting her transferred to El Camino in Mountain View where there is an inpatient mental facility there. Last time I do an ER with someone with psych issues unless it's an OD. Best wishes to her.

Problem is I'm in another state. Have no way to follow up. Do not have numbers for her friends or family. I do not know what resources are available to help her. I don't know what else I can do.

You've done good. They'll get her the help she needs. Just a note for future if you are actually around someone needing to go in for mental evaluation, to go to a hospital with a ward right there otherwise it's much longer time for him/her to get treatment. I was stunned when I went through this years ago that they don't even give you meds your dr prescribes you, nothing. It was a freaking nightmare, for both of us...

ETA: If she is going to be admitted in a psych facility, they will take her phone away so if you find you aren't able to get a hold of her, this may be the reason why. You could leave her a message to call you when she can.

 

[shadyridr]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

 

[johnnycakes]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

 

[CurlyNight]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

I really wish you the best. Breaks my heart to hear of such struggles. I really hope you seek out the treatments that will help you, and stay strong. Your life has value starting with your wife on down to us here. I never knew Fin nor do I recall participating in his threads, but I was still deeply saddened that his demons finally got the better of him when I think he still could have been helped. Keep reaching out to whoever is your best support(s) and stay away from whatever negative people/situations possible. Take your meds if it does help you.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

Whoa. My bad. I totally misread that. :(

Remember that people love you. Think of the good times, GB.

 

[El Floppo]

dude. :(

I've got nothing but best wishes for you.

 

[simey]

I can't figure out what to do. I wish I could separate myself from it, but I can't see how to say "stop calling me" without knowing that the day after she'll be trying again to kill herself. I hate that I'm the only one that picks up the phone when she calls. And every time she pops up on the caller ID I fear it's another "Goodbye forever" call and I'm going to have to find the cops to break down her door again. I hate being put through this. I hate having it in my life. I hate being in this situation. Part of me wishes I could abandon her like everyone else and not worry about it. Does that make me a terrible person? It weighs on me.

No, it doesn't make you a terrible person. You are in a bad position. You seem to be a kind hearted person, and beware of her using your kindness to manipulate you. She isn't stable, and this stress being put on you isn't good for your health. You have put forth several efforts to help her. Whatever she decides to do with the help provided is all on her. I agree with your friend that told you to do what's right for you.

 

[Rohn Jambo]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

Hi Johnnycakes, how are you doing?I hope you do something fun every week and get outside for some fresh air and sunshine whenever the weather is nicer.

 

[CurlyNight]

Wow. First of all, you are FAR FAR FAR from a bad person. Many guys would run and not look back on a current gf, let alone an ex that you only casually dated for a few months!

Now knowing this back story, I agree with your good friend. Do what's best for you which is let her go. As hard as it for you to do, it's not only best for you but best for her too. She's hanging on to something (you) that is not a solution. Psych hospitals only keep the pt for a certain amount of time. 5150 is a 72 hour hold. They don't keep you forever as it's not a place to receive actual treatment, but just a place to get stabilized enough so you can benefit from therapy.

Very very tough situation you are in and I'm sorry you are in it. But here's the thing. First it sounds like her mother cares if she flew in if even for a couple days as well as her older son, so there is that. My question to you is why is it ok to burden you with all this but not for her son or possibly mom to be "burdened?" At least she has 1 family member that cares enough and she's choosing not to "burden" him? He already knows what's going on and wants to help for it's his mom.. That's on her, not you. It also sounds like she is making excuses for not seeking help. Not wanting to see a therapist because he may put you back in the hospital is not something she should be concerned about at this point and is a red flag that even if she does seek treatment, she probably isn't going to stick with it. Sure no one wants to go back to a psych ward as it is like a prison, but you can't let that dictate getting help.

So here is your life if you choose to continue as is: she calls you and you call for help. She goes to the psych ward, gets out and is pissed at you for trying to help her (if they happen to get to her in time which next time they may not). Basically what you have stated above is going to be repeated forever. And eventually you know what, she will probably succeed in killing herself with or without you as her core issues are there, and it has 0 to do with you.

So my advice is: if you have a family member's contact number to let them know in a nice way that you have to be done. If you don't have contact info then well you tried. Change your phone number now. Don't give her a heads up, just do it. What she does afterwards is not on you as I've said, she is going to do what she is going to do. It may take a little longer with you still in the loop but eventually if she's bound to kill herself, she will. Sad as it is. You can't save her and you are going to go down yourself at some point by keeping yourself involved. If this was your wife then the advice may or may not be the same, but she was a casual gf. It will cycle round and round until she succeeds in doing it or actually seeks treatment AND stays on it, which doesn't sound like is going to happen any time soon if ever imo. You've done what you can, there's nothing more you can do.

Do take care of yourself. That's the only thing you have control over.

Best wishes.

 

[johnnycakes]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

Hi Johnnycakes, how are you doing?I hope you do something fun every week and get outside for some fresh air and sunshine whenever the weather is nicer.

Thanks, Rohn. It has been a real roller coaster ride since they let me go December 30. it seems very, very small things can send me into a real tailspin... it is as if I'm a different person after the Christmas Day incident. Like, I can be doing just fine... then a small thing can come up (like my wife calling me at work that the smoke alarms are blaring at home and I need to come home to shut them off because she doesn't know how to do it (neither do I... I had to call Kidde)) and just send me into a downward spiral and the mood can change from "ok" to really not "ok" in just a matter of minutes). Going to bed early (7pm - 8pm) just to get to the next day.

Overall, the days are getting better, but the first half of January.... several times I was real close to hanging myself (now that they took the guns away). The main reason I didn't was if I weren't successful, it would be a violation of probation and back to jail I would go. So if I'm going to do that, I need a really high percentage shot, pun intended. Up in NH, I can still get access to a gun by going to a gun range, showing my driver's license... I can access the range's firearms and ammo on their site without my LTC or FID. Interesting article here, btw. It just seems like right now I'm getting 1-2 good days for every really bad day. I finally have the meds straightened out with insurance... my PCP had me change providers to a shrink and a social worker at Harvard Vanguard, too. I come here and when I'm feeling better I try to make some lighthearted post, but overall I'm not in a really good space right now. That said, I have no plan to kill myself this very minute. Just hanging in there.

 

[El Floppo]

Missed your post johnny. Glad you've made it a year to tell that story. You have a lot of friends here, GB.

read it again

Yeah... that was just a few weeks ago, Sheik. Still struggling with major depression... good thing the cops took my guns. Every day is a struggle... just trying to make it to tomorrow.

Hi Johnnycakes, how are you doing?I hope you do something fun every week and get outside for some fresh air and sunshine whenever the weather is nicer.

Thanks, Rohn. It has been a real roller coaster ride since they let me go December 30. it seems very, very small things can send me into a real tailspin... it is as if I'm a different person after the Christmas Day incident. Like, I can be doing just fine... then a small thing can come up (like my wife calling me at work that the smoke alarms are blaring at home and I need to come home to shut them off because she doesn't know how to do it (neither do I... I had to call Kidde)) and just send me into a downward spiral and the mood can change from "ok" to really not "ok" in just a matter of minutes). Going to bed early (7pm - 8pm) just to get to the next day.

Overall, the days are getting better, but the first half of January.... several times I was real close to hanging myself (now that they took the guns away). The main reason I didn't was if I weren't successful, it would be a violation of probation and back to jail I would go. So if I'm going to do that, I need a really high percentage shot, pun intended. Up in NH, I can still get access to a gun by going to a gun range, showing my driver's license... I can access the range's firearms and ammo on their site without my LTC or FID. Interesting article here, btw. It just seems like right now I'm getting 1-2 good days for every really bad day. I finally have the meds straightened out with insurance... my PCP had me change providers to a shrink and a social worker at Harvard Vanguard, too. I come here and when I'm feeling better I try to make some lighthearted post, but overall I'm not in a really good space right now. That said, I have no plan to kill myself this very minute. Just hanging in there.

oh come on! :(

####, johnny- I honestly can't imagine how hard these days must be for you... but you know better days can and do exist, right? you've had them, I'm sure. PLEASE keep those in mind while you continue in the day-to-day, minute-to-minute. love and thoughts headed your way.