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Tell a Good Joke (1 Viewer)

1) The NBA.

2) What did Ernie say when Burt asked him if he wanted ice cream????........................................ "Sure, Burt!"

3) Chuck Norris is the only person with the confidence to fart with diarrhea.

4) Two thinkers:

You're stranded in the middle of the ocean on a wooden raft and all you have is an unopened pack of cigarettes.... how do you light them?

You're walking through the woods and you come to a clearing, you notice a cabin in the middle of the clearing so you walk up to it. You look through the cabin window and see a person sitting dead in a chair. How did they die?

 
From Charles Laquidara - Host of The Big Mattress on WBCN in Boston - way back when. One of the best radio hosts, ever.

A Russian guy crosses a border checkpoint.

"Nationality?"
"Russian"
"Occupation?"
"No, no. Just visiting."

 
So I just heard an ad on the radio for the "pocket hose".......I thought they were pimping slutty midgets.

 
This guy is out on the pier fishing and another guy walks by and asks, "How the biting?"

Fisherman: Not worth a damned but that's ok cuz I'm fishing and I'd rather be fishing than doing anything else in the world.

Guy: :mellow:

Fisherman: In fact, I'm here on my honeymoon and I'm fishing

Guy: Really? Why aren't you back at the hotel giving the new missus the business?

Fisherman: I'd like too but she has some problems. She's got gonorrhea.

Guy: Ooof, that's too bad why don't you turn her around and get in the poop shoot?

Fisherman: I'd like to do that to but, well, she has diarrhea.

Guy: Jeez that's awful. Well why don't you have her give you a hum job at least?

Fisherman: Yeah, I'd like to do that too but she has pyorrhea.

Guy: Crying out loud man, she's a mess! why'd you marry her?

Fisherman: Well, she's got worms too and you know how I like to fish!

:porked:

 
What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside a Planned Parenthood?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
 
1) The NBA.

2) What did Ernie say when Burt asked him if he wanted ice cream????........................................ "Sure, Burt!"

3) Chuck Norris is the only person with the confidence to fart with diarrhea.

4) Two thinkers:

You're stranded in the middle of the ocean on a wooden raft and all you have is an unopened pack of cigarettes.... how do you light them?

You're walking through the woods and you come to a clearing, you notice a cabin in the middle of the clearing so you walk up to it. You look through the cabin window and see a person sitting dead in a chair. How did they die?
4 (a) Throw one cigarette off the raft, and then the raft is a cigarette lighter

(b) Ischemic Heart Disease

 

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