Clifford
Footballguy
Seriously. Sounds like the only person you give a #### about is yourself and if you're already #####ing this much I can't imagine the level it would reach.
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Tell Me Why I Should Have Children... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Nikki2200
- Start date
Clifford
Footballguy
pantagrapher
Footballguy
As far as housework, you'll find out that you're capable of 10X what you previously thought possible. Yes, it is hard work. There is always something that needs cleaning. There are always previously essential chores that need to be pushed back to the point that you worry about someday living in squalor. But then you have those days—days you used to relax on the couch and watch TV—where you knock out a bunch of stuff and get the house back to a presentable state.
And in between all those chores you have this awesome little baby, whose every developmental milestone will utterly fascinate you, whose little face and hands will delight you, and whose every utterance will go right into your brain stem. My wife and I didn't plan to have a baby, but we had one in July. It's been hard, it's strained us to the breaking point, but that daughter of mine is worth all the trouble. And I never thought of myself as a particularly parental sort. I can actually understand a lot of the frustration and dissolution some people have with parenthood. I get it. And I constantly long for the days I could walk down the block and have a few pints with my friends and play trivia on a week night. But if I had to chose, I think parenthood—so far—is better than that.
Your experience may vary.
And in between all those chores you have this awesome little baby, whose every developmental milestone will utterly fascinate you, whose little face and hands will delight you, and whose every utterance will go right into your brain stem. My wife and I didn't plan to have a baby, but we had one in July. It's been hard, it's strained us to the breaking point, but that daughter of mine is worth all the trouble. And I never thought of myself as a particularly parental sort. I can actually understand a lot of the frustration and dissolution some people have with parenthood. I get it. And I constantly long for the days I could walk down the block and have a few pints with my friends and play trivia on a week night. But if I had to chose, I think parenthood—so far—is better than that.
Your experience may vary.
fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
This was my grandfather's shtick. He claimed that right after he got married, my grandmother had him washing dishes and he broke a dish. After that, she did the dishes for the next 50+ years. Then she died and he just started going to Wendy's* all the time so he didn't have to do dishes.The husband is brilliant. Sorry, I can't help around the house because I don't know how.
*Wendy's the fast-food restaurant, not some tramp named Wendy who did my grandpa's dishes.
cstu
Footballguy
The husband is brilliant. Sorry, I can't help around the house because I don't know how.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
Edited to apologize in advance for my lack of brevity. It was... cleansing.
Okay. Read through the thread quick and came back here to post:
"HE CAN'T DO IT RIGHT, SO I HAVE TO DO IT ALL!!11!!"
Sounds familiar. I know- I married that once. She was one of four kids "raised" by alcoholic parents. Parents who fell asleep- Manhattans in hand- in their easy chairs just about every night after dinner. The second oldest, she took on the parental role in the family. Ran the house. Doled out the tasks and enforced the rules. Administered punishment. Her siblings called her Little Hitler. One of several red flags I ignored...
When we met I saw her as this strong, responsible woman who knew what she wanted and knew how to have a good time. In essence she picked ME up in a bar. (a local bar like Cheers, where everyone knew your name...) When we moved in together a few years later she was a blur- taking care of everything regarding household cleaning, laundry etc. This freed me up to make with the DIY handyman wannabe routine and engage in my sports participation and viewing. Not that I didn't look to pitch in. It's just that when I did, I couldn't do it "right." So I backed off. Probably too much...
We got married.
She also liked to put in a lot of hours as a medical assistant/office manager and deep down thought that I should as well. She did the books at the doctors office and did ours. She liked to buy nice things. When it came to buying, I would ask her if she thought we could afford said item. Her idea of "affording" things often meant working more hours- something that she didn't clue me in on. She came to resent that I didn't share her workaholic leanings.
She gradually took to making me "pay" when I did or didn't do things that fell in line with her view of priorities. Little, moody outbursts became more frequent and not so little. When I came home one day to find a favorite album (vinyl) crushed on the patio our relationship I knew we were in trouble. (Hey- it was CSNY-Four Way Street! Blasphemy!!) We went on in denial. Probably because the sex was great. Looking back I think we really vented our issues wrestling in the sack. SRSLY!
We did the marriage counseling thing until she made up her mind that our problems really meant MY problems. Even though we discussed newly discovered physical issues she had that dictated that her clock was ticking faster than most women and that she felt the need to have a child, she bailed on the process leaving me trying to sort things out. It became clear to me that this woman who had to grow up way too early and too fast couldn't possibly deal with the frustrations involved in living with a man who didn't. So she treated me like she did her siblings growing up. It was abusive.
We were done. "Unfortunately"- though I was being careful- our wrestling between the sheets resulted in our son. (LOVE HIM TO DEATH!) When I got the message at work to call home, and did so to have her tell me that she was pregnant I felt only panic and dread, not joy and anticipation. I moved out before he was three months old. The upside to that is that he never knew us as a couple. Mom's House and Dad's House are where he grew up into a fine, successful young man. As parents apart we were apparently able to do what we never could have done together.
<exhale>
The OP shouldn't have a child unless this marriage- or the next- meets her AND his expectations. Unless they both want to do it apart, of course...
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Jayrod
Footballguy
Dear Nikki,
Let me tell you about kids. They are the best of times and they are the worst of times. Nothing else can make you smile or laugh as much and nothing else can break you down to a sobbing mess like a child.
There is also a lot of routine. For the first few years, all of life becomes a schedule. Feeding, napping, cleaning & bed time become all of who you are & what you do. If you work, it becomes just your day job, but who you ARE is a parent. I've never loved my work, so I embraced being a father like a mofo. My wife loves her work and at times has had her heart torn in two by work vs Mommy. But she wouldn't change a thing and has experienced the best of both worlds through some back & forth, give & take juggling that is quite impressive.
One thing you will discover if you have kids is how much time you waste now and how much of your current schedule is filled with time wasting bs (like excessively cleaning). You will find the time to do what is truly important to you...even if that means missing out on some sleep.
There are no guarantees in life, but the odds are that you would not regret having kids, while you seem to already fear the regret of NOT having them.
Hope that is what you are looking for.
Godspeed,
Jayrod
Let me tell you about kids. They are the best of times and they are the worst of times. Nothing else can make you smile or laugh as much and nothing else can break you down to a sobbing mess like a child.
There is also a lot of routine. For the first few years, all of life becomes a schedule. Feeding, napping, cleaning & bed time become all of who you are & what you do. If you work, it becomes just your day job, but who you ARE is a parent. I've never loved my work, so I embraced being a father like a mofo. My wife loves her work and at times has had her heart torn in two by work vs Mommy. But she wouldn't change a thing and has experienced the best of both worlds through some back & forth, give & take juggling that is quite impressive.
One thing you will discover if you have kids is how much time you waste now and how much of your current schedule is filled with time wasting bs (like excessively cleaning). You will find the time to do what is truly important to you...even if that means missing out on some sleep.
There are no guarantees in life, but the odds are that you would not regret having kids, while you seem to already fear the regret of NOT having them.
Hope that is what you are looking for.
Godspeed,
Jayrod
Mister Martie
Footballguy
"Have any nicknames?"
"Well, my siblings call me "little hitler."
"Let's get married."
"Well, my siblings call me "little hitler."
"Let's get married."
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
bostonfred
Footballguy
My wife doesn't cook. Some of you may remember the mini pizza debacle, and it hasn't gotten better since we became parents. But cleaning is still on her. Every year or two, I throw something of hers in the dryer that's not supposed to go there and she flips out and tells me not to touch the laundry.
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
Her: "It wouldn't kill you to do some laundry once in a while!"
Him: (in his head) Nooo, but it might just kill YOU one day...
McGarnicle
Footballguy
HEY NIKKI HOW'S YOUR THREAD GOING BABY
TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
No one should need convincing that they need kids. If you want them, great. If you're not sure if you want them, you don't want them.
boots11234
Footballguy
Pic of your kitty please. Preferably in lace.
Cliff Clavin
Footballguy
If you're incapable of teaching your husband to cook or do laundry, don't have children cause you're either a terrible teacher or their father would be a real idiot. Either way, not good for the kids.
Clifford
Footballguy
It's already been admitted that the hubbie does plenty and that Nikki is such a control freak she won't let him help with household chores.
ClownCausedChaos2
Footballguy
Curious...How do we kmow that's the engagement pic?
NorthernVike
Footballguy
Hi nikki. Miss me? 
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jamny
Footballguy
ClownCausedChaos2
Footballguy
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TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
jamny
Footballguy
Mister Martie
Footballguy
It's posty. He's an #######.
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
Jeebus,
This thread just won't die. Nikki, I gave you good advice at the beginning of this thread. So, since it's Friday, you won't listen, and this thread won't die I'm going to expand upon my previous post. You should NOT have kids. Why?
- Alcoholics should not have kids. You all should read some of her drunken posts over at FFtoday, if they're still there. I think she tried to delete a lot of them.
- You're s slut who meets random dudes on the 'net. This probably has something to do with point 1 above but I'm not sure.
- You seem to have some daddy issues but that's between you, him, and his male friends.
- You have a superiority complex. We don't need more kids like that in this world.
I could go on but I just recommend people go to fftoday and read your work there if they want more insight in to why you shouldn't have kids.
This thread just won't die. Nikki, I gave you good advice at the beginning of this thread. So, since it's Friday, you won't listen, and this thread won't die I'm going to expand upon my previous post. You should NOT have kids. Why?
- Alcoholics should not have kids. You all should read some of her drunken posts over at FFtoday, if they're still there. I think she tried to delete a lot of them.
- You're s slut who meets random dudes on the 'net. This probably has something to do with point 1 above but I'm not sure.
- You seem to have some daddy issues but that's between you, him, and his male friends.
- You have a superiority complex. We don't need more kids like that in this world.
I could go on but I just recommend people go to fftoday and read your work there if they want more insight in to why you shouldn't have kids.
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fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
I'd recommend having your tubes tied 
boots11234
Footballguy
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
Man, I sometimes forget how some of you love to get all up and dirty in other peoples personal stuff- behind a keyboard.
NorthernVike
Footballguy
TheIronSheik
SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
Well this thread just took a turn for the better. 
NewlyRetired
Footballguy
I still don't understand how we know that photo is of the original poster.......
What's personal? I'm addressing the question in the OP. I tried to give the short answer. Look at the beginning of the thread. but she won't let the thread die. And it's Friday. But it's all true.
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Shut it down.
McGarnicle
Footballguy
- Last but not least, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!!!
glock
"Don't grumble, give a whistle!"
- Last but not least, Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!!!
ClownCausedChaos2
Footballguy
You mean she didn't post it nor give permission for it to be posted?? Yeah, that's ####ed up.
