The Lawyer Thread Where We Stop Ruining Other Threads (2 Viewers)

[-fish-]

[SIZE=9pt]Was served Notice to Cease and Desist. Below are selected phrases excised therefrom.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]You are all benefitting more and more from my life blood.[/SIZE]

You are a threat to me with your armed mercenaries.

You are all allied as pirates on the open sea, engaging war against me at gunpoint.

I have been dealing all along with dead entities.

... while they gut their victims alive.

You are a total disgrace of a criminal. I command you to stay away from me and my home and my people. Should you dare continue this offensive, your feet will turn my land into the scene of a crime with you as the perpetrator.

This is an ACT OF WAR against one of the living people, me.

I cannot examine the dead on the witness stand.

You perpetrate fraud and conspiracy to feather your nest at home with your war booty as a professional pirate.

This misanthropic, sociopathic behavior proves you are not fit for anything but perpetrating war against your fellow man.

You are a shyster, educated by accomplished professional shysters.

... insatiable pirate ...

... merciless hyenas ...

You all violate the people to actually eat out their substance, as the criminally insane sociopaths that you are.

You addicts all worked together to transform yourselves into the vultures that you are, as you peck at the eyes of our babies.

Don't risk your lives and careers to assist crooked attorneys. They're ruthless, and you know it, but you serve them as your masters.

This is a floating pirate ghost ship in an illusory ill-fated voyage to seek and destroy me.

... by sorcery ...

neat!

 

[Henry Ford]

Hell, I bet you all think that quantum meruit is the same thing as unjust enrichment.

I think this sentence needs some editing.

Your butt needs some editing.

 

[Henry Ford]

Was served Notice to Cease and Desist. Below are selected phrases excised therefrom.

You are all benefitting more and more from my life blood.

You are a threat to me with your armed mercenaries.

You are all allied as pirates on the open sea, engaging war against me at gunpoint.

I have been dealing all along with dead entities.

... while they gut their victims alive.

You are a total disgrace of a criminal. I command you to stay away from me and my home and my people. Should you dare continue this offensive, your feet will turn my land into the scene of a crime with you as the perpetrator.

This is an ACT OF WAR against one of the living people, me.

I cannot examine the dead on the witness stand.

You perpetrate fraud and conspiracy to feather your nest at home with your war booty as a professional pirate.

This misanthropic, sociopathic behavior proves you are not fit for anything but perpetrating war against your fellow man.

You are a shyster, educated by accomplished professional shysters.

... insatiable pirate ...

... merciless hyenas ...

You all violate the people to actually eat out their substance, as the criminally insane sociopaths that you are.

You addicts all worked together to transform yourselves into the vultures that you are, as you peck at the eyes of our babies.

Don't risk your lives and careers to assist crooked attorneys. They're ruthless, and you know it, but you serve them as your masters.

This is a floating pirate ghost ship in an illusory ill-fated voyage to seek and destroy me.

... by sorcery ...

What's an exception of vagueness called outside Louisiana?

 

[-fish-]

Was served Notice to Cease and Desist. Below are selected phrases excised therefrom.

You are all benefitting more and more from my life blood.

You are a threat to me with your armed mercenaries.

You are all allied as pirates on the open sea, engaging war against me at gunpoint.

I have been dealing all along with dead entities.

... while they gut their victims alive.

You are a total disgrace of a criminal. I command you to stay away from me and my home and my people. Should you dare continue this offensive, your feet will turn my land into the scene of a crime with you as the perpetrator.

This is an ACT OF WAR against one of the living people, me.

I cannot examine the dead on the witness stand.

You perpetrate fraud and conspiracy to feather your nest at home with your war booty as a professional pirate.

This misanthropic, sociopathic behavior proves you are not fit for anything but perpetrating war against your fellow man.

You are a shyster, educated by accomplished professional shysters.

... insatiable pirate ...

... merciless hyenas ...

You all violate the people to actually eat out their substance, as the criminally insane sociopaths that you are.

You addicts all worked together to transform yourselves into the vultures that you are, as you peck at the eyes of our babies.

Don't risk your lives and careers to assist crooked attorneys. They're ruthless, and you know it, but you serve them as your masters.

This is a floating pirate ghost ship in an illusory ill-fated voyage to seek and destroy me.

... by sorcery ...

What's an exception of vagueness called outside Louisiana?

failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

 

[Henry Ford]

Was served Notice to Cease and Desist. Below are selected phrases excised therefrom.

You are all benefitting more and more from my life blood.

You are a threat to me with your armed mercenaries.

You are all allied as pirates on the open sea, engaging war against me at gunpoint.

I have been dealing all along with dead entities.

... while they gut their victims alive.

You are a total disgrace of a criminal. I command you to stay away from me and my home and my people. Should you dare continue this offensive, your feet will turn my land into the scene of a crime with you as the perpetrator.

This is an ACT OF WAR against one of the living people, me.

I cannot examine the dead on the witness stand.

You perpetrate fraud and conspiracy to feather your nest at home with your war booty as a professional pirate.

This misanthropic, sociopathic behavior proves you are not fit for anything but perpetrating war against your fellow man.

You are a shyster, educated by accomplished professional shysters.

... insatiable pirate ...

... merciless hyenas ...

You all violate the people to actually eat out their substance, as the criminally insane sociopaths that you are.

You addicts all worked together to transform yourselves into the vultures that you are, as you peck at the eyes of our babies.

Don't risk your lives and careers to assist crooked attorneys. They're ruthless, and you know it, but you serve them as your masters.

This is a floating pirate ghost ship in an illusory ill-fated voyage to seek and destroy me.

... by sorcery ...

What's an exception of vagueness called outside Louisiana?

failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted.

Yeah, I guess that encompasses vagueness, no cause of action, and no right of action.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Trial done. Settled at the end of the day when everyone just had enough and the judge was annoyed at the world because there people behind us still to go an hour after the court was supposed to close. Love those days.

Plan was to go back to office and try to get work done. For some mystical reason the car drove itself directly to my house. American engineering I guess. Saw my kids for the first time in about a week for more than 10 minutes. Ate..... something. My wife cooked something and I didn't even look at it and collapsed in bed to sleep off the trial hangover. This one was a battle. Nothing fun or entertaining or professionaly gratifying about it at all. Just, it was what it was.

Come into my office this morning and oh my for the ever loving god of everything that is holy in the east and the west how is it that some people - let's call them "my clients" - cannot live their lives on a daily basis without calling me, emailing me or sending me other paperwork I already have on a daily basis almost on the hour every hour? How is it that people that can walk and talk at the same time - presumably - all of the sudden can't function in society once they have an attorney and have to ask the attorney everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g:

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Hell, I bet you all think that quantum meruit is the same thing as unjust enrichment.

The distinction exists in common-law jurisdictions (such as Virginia) too. Every time I point that out to a partner, I can see his eyes glaze over.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Trial done. Settled at the end of the day when everyone just had enough and the judge was annoyed at the world because there people behind us still to go an hour after the court was supposed to close. Love those days.

Plan was to go back to office and try to get work done. For some mystical reason the car drove itself directly to my house. American engineering I guess. Saw my kids for the first time in about a week for more than 10 minutes. Ate..... something. My wife cooked something and I didn't even look at it and collapsed in bed to sleep off the trial hangover. This one was a battle. Nothing fun or entertaining or professionaly gratifying about it at all. Just, it was what it was.

Come into my office this morning and oh my for the ever loving god of everything that is holy in the east and the west how is it that some people - let's call them "my clients" - cannot live their lives on a daily basis without calling me, emailing me or sending me other paperwork I already have on a daily basis almost on the hour every hour? How is it that people that can walk and talk at the same time - presumably - all of the sudden can't function in society once they have an attorney and have to ask the attorney everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g:

Seems like a pretty good sequence for a solo to me - putting on an entire trial then avoiding the downside risk of an adverse decision, then getting harassed by clients on minor but billable stuff all day. Its probably annoying, but if your name is on the wall it must be nice to know your clients depend on you even for non-legal or quasi-legal matters. One of my good friends has built his practice around being the guy his clients call for just about every little business decision they make.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Trial done. Settled at the end of the day when everyone just had enough and the judge was annoyed at the world because there people behind us still to go an hour after the court was supposed to close. Love those days.

Plan was to go back to office and try to get work done. For some mystical reason the car drove itself directly to my house. American engineering I guess. Saw my kids for the first time in about a week for more than 10 minutes. Ate..... something. My wife cooked something and I didn't even look at it and collapsed in bed to sleep off the trial hangover. This one was a battle. Nothing fun or entertaining or professionaly gratifying about it at all. Just, it was what it was.

Come into my office this morning and oh my for the ever loving god of everything that is holy in the east and the west how is it that some people - let's call them "my clients" - cannot live their lives on a daily basis without calling me, emailing me or sending me other paperwork I already have on a daily basis almost on the hour every hour? How is it that people that can walk and talk at the same time - presumably - all of the sudden can't function in society once they have an attorney and have to ask the attorney everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g:

Seems like a pretty good sequence for a solo to me - putting on an entire trial then avoiding the downside risk of an adverse decision, then getting harassed by clients on minor but billable stuff all day. Its probably annoying, but if your name is on the wall it must be nice to know your clients depend on you even for non-legal or quasi-legal matters. One of my good friends has built his practice around being the guy his clients call for just about every little business decision they make.

Yeah that's me. I'm just still exausted

 

[Christo]

Hell, I bet you all think that quantum meruit is the same thing as unjust enrichment.

I think this sentence needs some editing.

Your butt needs some editing.

Are you making a pass at me?

 

[Christo]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

 

[-fish-]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

:confetti:

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

Well at least you know you have his attention.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

On the phone with the IRS..................

............

.............

.............

...........

Anyone have any good jokes?

 

[Zow]

Just got 2400 of pages of new disclosure on a case set for trial next Thursday. Judge has already indicated he won't continue. Oh, and this case wash't originally mine, but took it over from a partner when she went on maternity. Also very likely the disclosure brings up new witnesses to be subpoenaed.

This weekend should be ####### fun.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Just got 2400 of pages of new disclosure on a case set for trial next Thursday. Judge has already indicated he won't continue. Oh, and this case wash't originally mine, but took it over from a partner when she went on maternity. Also very likely the disclosure brings up new witnesses to be subpoenaed.

This weekend should be ####### fun.

I would laugh the laugh of solidarity with you, but I'm all out of humor for trial related issues this week, sorry.

 

[Zow]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino.

I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

 

[NCCommish]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino.

I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

All I am asking is if you go full Pacino make sure there is video.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino.

I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

All I am asking is if you go full Pacino make sure there is video.

lol.

I swear if I do it I'm going to end with.... "WAIT! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!"

God I love that ending to that movie. It was brilliantly satisfying.

 

[Maurile Tremblay]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

What's crazy about him?.

 

[NCCommish]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino.

I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

All I am asking is if you go full Pacino make sure there is video.

lol.

I swear if I do it I'm going to end with.... "WAIT! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!"

God I love that ending to that movie. It was brilliantly satisfying.

It was a good movie.

 

[Zow]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

What's crazy about him?.

What would have been awesome is if Christo just 'ed in response.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

What's crazy about him?.

What would have been awesome is if Christo just 'ed in response.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

 

[NCCommish]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

I'd probably go with 2 but I am getting soft in my old age.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.

Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

Well, it seems like your current situation was relatively foreseeable given the circumstances. It sucks but I guess you should have known it was a likelihood when you took the case.

 

[NCCommish]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.

Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

You know you are an awfully decent human for a lawyer. i thought they beat that out of you guys in college.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

Well, it seems like your current situation was relatively foreseeable given the circumstances. It sucks but I guess you should have known it was a likelihood when you took the case.

I know.

If I took all my family law cases of all sizes and shapes right now and added up all the money paid to date I've done well. If I add together all the money owed to date plus the trial retainers on the next two in the que that are going to trial - I could buy chet bottle service at his favorite place and have enough left over to send Otis a picture of me and KAte Upton on a yacht doing jello shots.

 

[Sarnoff]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

How old are the kids? Can they get jobs?

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.

Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

You know you are an awfully decent human for a lawyer. i thought they beat that out of you guys in college.

Law school didn't take with me. I fought the administration and their stupid rules, called out deans for their moronic policies, and actually put in writing to one of professors how much of an unprofessional ### I thought he was. I laugh at them when they call me for money to this day.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

How old are the kids? Can they get jobs?

4,6, and 8

 

[Zow]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.

Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

Do the Woz option: just do a flat fee for 3,000 - 5,000.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I thought you real lawyer guys were supposed to get retainers so this crap didn't happen.

Ok, so you are one of those, go back and start over when you don't like your choice guys. Ok.

Client comes into your office crying because her husband almost killed himself 4 times with drug overdoses, 3 times in front of the kids and she can't take it anymore and needs a divorce. She is a friend of a friend so you want to help. She was a stay at home mom who didn't work and he wasn't Nelson Rockerfeller - and on top of that he blew a ton of their savings up his nose. Your retainer is $10,000.00. For a friend of a friend you would usually cut it to $5,000.00. You know full well that if you go to court more than once you will be owed substantially more than $5,000.00. She can only come up with $3,000.00 because the rest is in his nose. Do you

1. Take the $3,000.00 and help someone who needs help and work with the client on payments for the remainder of the bill that you know will be there, or

2. Tell her you can't help her and send her on her way until she comes up with $5,000.00 and pray that you never get a call from the friend that one of her kids got killed by her scumbag husband in a drug overdose rage.

Do the Woz option: just do a flat fee for 3,000 - 5,000.

Can't. I'd be out of business in a week. But we all know we do things with bills sometimes to get paid and keep the client happy or take care of a friend. Honestly the only reason this is on the top of my mind is because I just asked to do more work and I'm really tapped out here on this case. But, such is life. I could be digging ditches.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Ok, while I am stewing over that one, I need to start a new application. I will be petitioning our great state court system to severe the parental rights of a father who has never seen his kid, has never paid any of the support owed and is a general ######......

American Justice: Small Town Lawyer, next on A & E.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I cursed and got censored. Didn't know it was a curse. Do I have warning points now? All I know is I never want to be in an i-room with some of the people that skirt the rules here. I can only imagine the smell in that place.

 

[Henry Ford]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino. I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

See, generally, Ashton O'Dwyer.

 

[-fish-]

Got denied on a summary judgment motion today where the judge ruled that there was an issue of fact. I asked him to tell me what the issue of fact was so that I could do discovery on it. He said, "I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, counsel."

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Got denied on a summary judgment motion today where the judge ruled that there was an issue of fact. I asked him to tell me what the issue of fact was so that I could do discovery on it. He said, "I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, counsel."

Ouch.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Got denied on a summary judgment motion today where the judge ruled that there was an issue of fact. I asked him to tell me what the issue of fact was so that I could do discovery on it. He said, "I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, counsel."

Ouch.

Hang on - he's a plick. He has to say in his order, doesn't he? My judges always tell me/us as far as I can remember....

 

[-fish-]

Got denied on a summary judgment motion today where the judge ruled that there was an issue of fact. I asked him to tell me what the issue of fact was so that I could do discovery on it. He said, "I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, counsel."

Ouch.

Hang on - he's a plick. He has to say in his order, doesn't he? My judges always tell me/us as far as I can remember....

nope. denying a summary judgment doesn't require findings of fact and conclusions of law. order just says denied.

he's a weird judge. I asked him to clarify whether he was denying without prejudice...he said, "all denials of summary judgment are without prejudice" which is simply not the case.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Got denied on a summary judgment motion today where the judge ruled that there was an issue of fact. I asked him to tell me what the issue of fact was so that I could do discovery on it. He said, "I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, counsel."

Ouch.

Hang on - he's a plick. He has to say in his order, doesn't he? My judges always tell me/us as far as I can remember....

nope. denying a summary judgment doesn't require findings of fact and conclusions of law. order just says denied.

he's a weird judge. I asked him to clarify whether he was denying without prejudice...he said, "all denials of summary judgment are without prejudice" which is simply not the case.

Yeah if I think it through you are right, but still - that's a little harsh. He's on my .... And Justice for All list now. Just for you.

 

[krista4]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

How old are the kids? Can they get jobs?

4,6, and 8

So, yes.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

Client gets divorced. Client owes her attorney, let's call him Cardinals42fan, is owed a substantial amount of money from client. Not enough to purchase house, but enough to purchase a really nice used compact car if that is your thing.

Client has been told to pay. Clients says she will make payments. Client has not made payments. Her attorney is getting slightly upset. Turns out he took her word that she would pay because she came from a friend of a friend so it was a karma thing. Attorney calls client once again to find out about payment. Client informs attorney that the exspouse just lost his job and has stopped paying all support so she is broke and can't afford money for kids.

Attorney is in a quandry. In this choose your ending book, you are left with the choice...

1. Tell the client to shove it and pay her bill and let her kids starve, turn to page 666

or

2. Tell client to pay what she can as soon as possible and have another accounts receivable that is nothing more than a pie in the sky retirement account, turn to page 3.

How old are the kids? Can they get jobs?

4,6, and 8

So, yes.

I don't know if lemonade and shoveled walks are going to get me paid.

 

[Christo]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

My buddy was in court yesterday for a general criminal calendar and heard a lawyer comment to a judge, "judges like you are why we had slavery." The lawyer then referred to the judge as "Judge Taney."

I have a feeling he won't have an active license to practice law for a period of time.

I want to be that guy. I want to be Al Pacino.

I need to win the lottery first so that when I lose my license it's ok. But I swear on everything holy that if I could afford to do it I would so end my practice by doing that to a judge. And I have a list if necessary.

All I am asking is if you go full Pacino make sure there is video.

My judge got pissed because there was no court reporter to record my "lack of civility" and threatened to create his own bystanders report for the record.

 

[Christo]

Had a crazy judge threaten to arrest me today.

What's crazy about him?.

Mental stability. I'm serious. I was in his courtroom Tuesday and watched him issue a rule to show cause against an attorney because his client wasn't cooperating in discovery. He issued a body attachment writ against my client because my client's employer decided to ignore a garnishment citation. I went ballistic because he wouldn't agree to stay execution of the writ so I could bring my client in voluntarily.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Ok, while I am stewing over that one, I need to start a new application. I will be petitioning our great state court system to severe the parental rights of a father who has never seen his kid, has never paid any of the support owed and is a general ######......

American Justice: Small Town Lawyer, next on A & E.

Just hope that the father is not native American.

 

[krista4]

I'm working on waiving into the Washington state bar, and for the first time (I've waived into a couple of other jurisdictions) there is actually a test involved. I have about 150 pages to read of such fun topics as administrative law, civil procedure and the like.

The test is online, and you're allowed to use the prep materials during the test.

There is no reason in hell I should be reading these materials before just taking it, should I? I've tried and can't get past page 20 without wishing to shoot myself.