Things that hardly ever happen in real life, but happen all the time in movies (1 Viewer)

[bigbottom]

Title says it all. List the things that hardly ever happen in real life, but happen ALL THE TIME in movies. I’ll start.

- Lone guy with regular job takes on band of violent criminals who either invade his home town or threaten his family in some way. (I watched both Braven and Blood Father on Netflix this weekend.)

- Martial arts tournament where contestants fight to the death.

 

[rockaction]

Title says it all. List the things that hardly ever happen in real life, but happen ALL THE TIME in movies. I’ll start.

- Lone guy with regular job takes on band of violent criminals who either invade his home town or threaten his family in some way. (I watched both Braven and Blood Father on Netflix this weekend.)

- Martial arts tournament where contestants fight to the death.

Lots of cars having high speed chases through malls or places of business. 

 

[bigbottom]

- Apparently, one on one gunfight duels in the street hardly ever occurred in the old west. 

 

[Mister CIA]

Poor people live in expensive NYC apartments.

 

[Nigel]

Hanging off the edge of a cliff or tall building. 

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

Sex takes 30 seconds, the woman is satisfied and exhausted, and no one is concerned about the mess.

 

[Encyclopedia Brown]

When a character is carrying a bag of groceries there seems to always be a loaf of French bread sticking out of one of the bags. 

 

[bigbottom]

- A youth sports team of misfits goes from last place to winning the league over the course of a single season. 

 

[Pinkerton]

happy endings

 

[JoeSteeler]

Parking spot conveniently right in front of the building they are going to in a a huge city

 

[BobbyLayne]

Jumping out of planes without a parachute & surviving - Keanu Reeves in Point Break, Arnold in Eraser. Or how about Pierce Bronson driving a motorcycle off a cliff to jump into a plane about to crash. Free jumping is a lot easier than I thought apparently.

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

Everything blows up on impact.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Hanging off the edge of a cliff or tall building. 

by one joint of your fingers 

 

[BobbyLayne]

Poor people live in expensive NYC apartments.

HUGE apartments & they’re working as baristas 

 

[Cold Dead Hands]

by one joint of your fingers 

While holding a rope with a person attached to it. Also time for a lengthy heart to heart before saving or dropping said person on rope.

 

[bigbottom]

Great stuff!

obligatory: https://youtu.be/Sqz5dbs5zmo

 

[Pinkerton]

Someone pulls the trigger at point blank, but gun jams or is out of bullets.

You got a lot of experience with that one?

 

[Man In The Box]

Woman who has never handled a firearm in her life comes to the rescue and becomes El Mariachi, killing the bad guy with one shot. 

 

[gianmarco]

Sex takes 30 seconds

Speak for yourself.

 

[Tolstoy]

bushes turn into ramps when cars hit them

 

[gianmarco]

Scary music plays when I walk into my house and it's dark. Or really any music when I'm doing anything.

 

[Eulogys]

My unsatisfied neighbor asking me to fix <insert anything here> and then preceding to take complete advantage of me.

 

[BobbyLayne]

bushes turn into ramps when cars hit them

one sedan hits a parked sedan off center and the car in motion flips over

 

[Man In The Box]

Mom works hard all morning on making a nice hot breakfast, only to have everyone conveniently running late, and grabbing a lone slice of toast on their way out the door. 

 

[AcerFC]

Stepmoms and step sisters who are lonely at home and need some TLC

 

[Tolstoy]

one sedan hits a parked sedan off center and the car in motion flips over

A-Team perfected that

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Mom works hard all morning on making a nice hot breakfast, only to have everyone conveniently running late, and grabbing a lone slice of toast on their way out the door. 

In this vein, nobody ever finishing any meal, ever. 

 

[bigbottom]

- People ending every single telephone call without saying good bye. 

 

[popeye]

Military / Government computer systems are hacked as though they had a two character CompuServe email login.

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Arriving home to find a stranger sitting in your living room in the dark, waiting

 

[Man In The Box]

- People ending every single telephone call without saying good bye. 

Not a movie, but this is a Ray Donovan trademark. 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Fast paced Sorkin-esque walk&talks

 

[FreeBaGeL]

2 seconds left in the game, ball on your own 10 yard line.  WR somehow has single coverage deep with no safety help.

 

[ConnSKINS26]

2 seconds left in the game, ball on your own 10 yard line.  WR somehow has single coverage deep with no safety help.

Depends what team you root for, really. 

 

[Encyclopedia Brown]

2 seconds left in the game, ball on your own 10 yard line.  WR somehow has single coverage deep with no safety help.

Quarterbacks who get fourteen seconds in the pocket before they have to throw. 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Embarrassingly vulnerable grand romantic gestures/speeches to win someone back in front of a crowd

 

[Tolstoy]

Military / Government computer systems are hacked as though they had a two character CompuServe email login.

admin

password

 

[cosjobs]

never having to poop

 

[BobbyLayne]

Military / Government computer systems are hacked as though they had a two character CompuServe email login.

admin

password

Two, maybe three attempts tops

GOT IT WE’RE IN! 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Being able to order a drink as soon as you step up to the packed bar

 

[brun]

Guys enlisting, or getting drafted, into the military and just getting their hair trimmed instead of shaved off. 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Nobody ever being concerned about the mess after sex, just falling asleep, is a good one. Gross. 

I really respected an episode of the Sopranos that had a woman go and wipe herself off mid-conversation. Gritty and real. 

 

[Dr_Zaius]

Fat stoner guys get dates because 10s learn to appreciate them for their maximum untapped potential. Basically Seth Rogen gets dates with supermodels.

Along the same lines, the group of jocks, cheerleaders, and rich kids that somehow have that one socially awkward, ugly nerd friend that they hang out with for reasons that are never explained.

 

[Jayrod]

Breaking the fourth wall.

 

[Man In The Box]

Any door lock can be picked in seconds with a paper clip or a credit card. 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

I remember being annoyed as a kid that in every movie when the bell rang in class all hell broke loose and teachers would half-heartedly try to assign homework with half the class out the door

 

[Jayrod]

Any door lock can be picked in seconds with a paper clip or a credit card. 

And cars hotwired in seconds as well.

 

[Dr_Zaius]

Two, maybe three attempts tops

GOT IT WE’RE IN! 

Hmmm... this network was set up by an evil criminal mastermind.  What's the name of his son - that's probably the password.

 

[Zow]

1. A lawyer asking a blatantly objectionable , borderline unethical and sanctionable question, then merely saying “withdrawn” and giving a shoulder shrug upon objection. Maybe this is more tv. 
 

2. Workaholic dads with ample time to cheat on their wives.  
 

3. Similar to two above, workaholic middle aged men who clearly don’t have time to work out remaining in great shape. 
 

 

[comfortably numb]

Women in heels suddenly become Jackie Joyner Kersee. 40yd dash in 4.2 seconds...in the woods....in the rain....at night