Was this offensive? (2 Viewers)

[Dr. Octopus]

Yeah but I'll point out that most of us in here (you being one exception) don't even see it as a joke

Actually, most people don’t seem to get the joke. It’s a racists joke for sure - how much offense you take depends on your tolerance.

That's fair - I didn't get it but that's what I meant by don't see it as a joke. And I'm not defending the guy - he may be a huge racist or just a moron.

The “joke” is the dad is African, and this guy’s first instinct is all Africans are those starving “Ethiopians” looking emaciated and covered in flies from the charity commercials. Hence “is he a thin man?”.

 

[Manster]

My only thought on this is......if this is an indication of what comes out of his mouth when meeting a gal, not exactly a dude u wanna be out meeting gals with.

 

[AAABatteries]

Is your mother a prostitute would have been a much better question.

 

[massraider]

Is your friend Lenny Bruce?

How to relax your colored friends at parties

 

[glvsav37]

reminds me of the joke I use to tell in the 80's...."how many Ethiopians can fit in a shower? No one knows, they keep slipping down the drain" ....come'on I was 13 years old. lol

 

[Leroy Hoard]

My only thought on this is......if this is an indication of what comes out of his mouth when meeting a gal, not exactly a dude u wanna be out meeting gals with.

When your wingman is a wingnut.

 

[Willie Neslon]

I took it as a dig on Americans. America has such a huge obesity problem, eating so much processed garbage. In Africa they eat much more simply using whole foods. He was basically saying "I'm guessing your dad is healthy compared to us slobs over here".

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

 

[the moops]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

You picked a poor example to hang your "everyone is offended these days" hat on

 

[-fish-]

Thanks for replies, maybe I should've included this in the initial post, when guy was asked about it after he said he wasn't trying to make a joke but was just making conversation and that was what popped into his head.

And to answer the question above, the girl was thin and attractive.

What? The guy asked if the girls father was skinny because she was thin?

Based upon your above answer, I am more confused. Why would he use sarcasm to ask that question?

I don't think it was because she was thin, I guess i'm not positive exactly why he asked the question, i think the association was with him being African but think it was more of him just making conversation without thinking about it too much.

The only thing I am able to understand about this whole interaction is that your friend is very bad at making conversation.

 

[Scoresman]

I took it as a dig on Americans. America has such a huge obesity problem, eating so much processed garbage. In Africa they eat much more simply using whole foods. He was basically saying "I'm guessing your dad is healthy compared to us slobs over here".

Even if this is true, it's incredibly dumb and still offensive because it could easily be interpreted as the starving Ethiopian stereotype.

 

[massraider]

I took it as a dig on Americans. America has such a huge obesity problem, eating so much processed garbage. In Africa they eat much more simply using whole foods. He was basically saying "I'm guessing your dad is healthy compared to us slobs over here".

Do you think a black woman meeting her boyfriends friends for the first time would take it as a self-deprecating dig on Americans?

No idea how average person would assume that comment gets to Americans Are Fat.

At BEST, this is a weird freaking thing to say.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

I took it as a dig on Americans. America has such a huge obesity problem, eating so much processed garbage. In Africa they eat much more simply using whole foods. He was basically saying "I'm guessing your dad is healthy compared to us slobs over here".

Even if this is true, it's incredibly dumb and still offensive because it could easily be interpreted as the starving Ethiopian stereotype.

It’s unlikely it’s true.

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

You picked a poor example to hang your "everyone is offended these days" hat on

cool
Are you offended again?

 

[the moops]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

You picked a poor example to hang your "everyone is offended these days" hat on

cool
Are you offended again?

I am not offended at all. The question wasn't if I was personally offended. The question was whether it was offensive. And I imagine (just guessing here) that most of us would be offended if some tool makes a terrible racist joke about our dad being poor and starving

 

[Chemical X]

he had a choice between saying nothing and saying that. in today’s world i would say nothing over that. i mean, why not just ask if her dad’s favorite meal is rice and flies? i think it’s so stupid it falls short of being offensive because i don’t even know what he was going for……

 

[Dr. Octopus]

he had a choice between saying nothing and saying that. in today’s world i would say nothing over that

In which world would you go with “is he a thin man”?

 

[the moops]

@Mitchie tell us more about this friend of yours? What other weird and/or inappropriate **** does he do?

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

You picked a poor example to hang your "everyone is offended these days" hat on

cool
Are you offended again?

I am not offended at all. The question wasn't if I was personally offended. The question was whether it was offensive. And I imagine (just guessing here) that most of us would be offended if some tool makes a terrible racist joke about our dad being poor and starving

I guess this would deserve it’s I own thread, but my question is…why?

Why not just say “oh ok, this person is a tool. There are a ton of them on this planet “ and move on with our lives?
Instead of “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!”

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Why not just say “oh ok, this person is a tool. There are a ton of them on this planet “ and move on with our lives?
Instead of “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!”

I think that’s pretty much what will happen. Personally I’ve only been commenting on a question that was asked. I think he was nervous and told a bad joke. One that certainly relies on a stereotype if not racism. I doubt he’s racist. In the end, life goes on. Only the woman should really decide if she’s offended.

 

[the moops]

I don’t think it’s offensive, but I’m sure that a huge % of the population does because alot of people are looking for a reason to be offended these days

You picked a poor example to hang your "everyone is offended these days" hat on

cool
Are you offended again?

I am not offended at all. The question wasn't if I was personally offended. The question was whether it was offensive. And I imagine (just guessing here) that most of us would be offended if some tool makes a terrible racist joke about our dad being poor and starving

I guess this would deserve it’s I own thread, but my question is…why?

Why not just say “oh ok, this person is a tool. There are a ton of them on this planet “ and move on with our lives?
Instead of “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!”

I haven't seen any “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!” posts in here. You seem to really want that to be the case though

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Seems like a dumb joke more than offensive.

What’s the context, was everyone drinking and making jokes already?

It’s a terrible joke but I don’t understand how people aren’t getting the implication. It’s a joke based on the “USA for Africa” movement of feeding the poor. No one remembers all the images of bone thin famished Africans in the old commercials?

Yeah this is my take, and in this case, it's incredibly offensive. Might as well have thrown out the N word.

EXACTLY the same. Guy should just have his life ended IMO. Social blunders are an executable offense.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Simply acknowledging a joke is in poor taste and could be construed as offensive when it's based on a negative stereotype is not the same as grabbing a pitchfork and looking to burn some one's house down.

It seems some people really wish more people were actually freaking out and trying to cancel someone so they can flex back. All most are doing is responding to the question the OP asked - and since he brought it up he must think it was somewhat offensive at least.

I think it takes WAY more effort in this case to pretend the dumb joke can't be construed in any way whatsoever as at least a little offensive and express shock and outrage that anyone may call it "offensive".

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I guess this would deserve it’s I own thread, but my question is…why?

Why not just say “oh ok, this person is a tool. There are a ton of them on this planet “ and move on with our lives?
Instead of “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!”

Also, I've never met this person and have no idea whether he's a tool or not. All I know about OP's friend is that he once told a joke that didn't land. Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

You're stretching rally hard to get to the post I quoted. Some people may think it's a bit toolish to make a joke based on a stereotype to a stranger. It's hardly saying the guy is an evil racist who should burn in Hell for it.

I said he was "socially awkward (in this situation)" - is that ok? I mean I'm making a judgment but it's based on the information the OP has given us.

If the woman said her Dad was Jewish and the dude responded "Is he really cheap?" would you say he was a tool (in this situation at least)?

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

You're stretching rally hard to get to the post I quoted. Some people may think it's a bit toolish to make a joke based on a stereotype to a stranger. It's hardly saying the guy is an evil racist who should burn in Hell for it.

I said he was "socially awkward (in this situation)" - is that ok? I mean I'm making a judgment but it's based on the information the OP has given us.

If the woman said her Dad was Jewish and the dude responded "Is he really cheap?" would you say he was a tool (in this situation at least)?

I'm just saying that it's really weird for people to make broad, sweeping judgements about this person's moral worth ("He's a tool") based on a tiny sliver of information.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

You're stretching rally hard to get to the post I quoted. Some people may think it's a bit toolish to make a joke based on a stereotype to a stranger. It's hardly saying the guy is an evil racist who should burn in Hell for it.

I said he was "socially awkward (in this situation)" - is that ok? I mean I'm making a judgment but it's based on the information the OP has given us.

If the woman said her Dad was Jewish and the dude responded "Is he really cheap?" would you say he was a tool (in this situation at least)?

I'm just saying that it's really weird for people to make broad, sweeping judgements about this person's moral worth ("He's a tool") based on a tiny sliver of information.

I still think you’re turning it into more than it is - I think anyone calling him a “tool” is basing it on this particular situation (i.e. he acted like a tool that night) and not the totality of his existence. I mean you called some peoples take “really weird” - is that a judgment?

 

[Pip's Invitation]

This thread is starting to take a turn toward toolery. Just sayin’.

 

[General Malaise]

This thread is starting to take a turn toward toolery. Just sayin’.

Precisely what somebody with a dad who was a thin man would say.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

This thread is starting to take a turn toward toolery. Just sayin’.

We need less toolery and more tomfoolery.

 

[Gally]

This thread is starting to take a turn toward toolery. Just sayin’.

We need less toolery and more tomfoolery.

Careful......you might start offending the tom's of the world once you start fooling them.

 

[General Malaise]

This thread is starting to take a turn toward toolery. Just sayin’.

We need less toolery and more tomfoolery.

With a hearty side of some jimmyjacking around.

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I guess this would deserve it’s I own thread, but my question is…why?

Why not just say “oh ok, this person is a tool. There are a ton of them on this planet “ and move on with our lives?
Instead of “ZOMG THATS OFFENSIVE!!!!!!111!!!”

Also, I've never met this person and have no idea whether he's a tool or not. All I know about OP's friend is that he once told a joke that didn't land. Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

Good point

 

[the moops]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

You're stretching rally hard to get to the post I quoted. Some people may think it's a bit toolish to make a joke based on a stereotype to a stranger. It's hardly saying the guy is an evil racist who should burn in Hell for it.

I said he was "socially awkward (in this situation)" - is that ok? I mean I'm making a judgment but it's based on the information the OP has given us.

If the woman said her Dad was Jewish and the dude responded "Is he really cheap?" would you say he was a tool (in this situation at least)?

I'm just saying that it's really weird for people to make broad, sweeping judgements about this person's moral worth ("He's a tool") based on a tiny sliver of information.

It's not weird at all. We do that **** in here all day everyday

Also, me calling someone a tool is such a weak insult anyway, it is hardly judging his eternal soul

 

[Scoresman]

We've all judged people based on one action or comment, come on. You've never called someone a tool or an ******* under your breath if they cut you off in traffic? Because yes , in that moment they are being a tool. Just like in that one moment in the conversation, the guy was being a tool.

It doesn't mean you're making a sweeping judgement about their eternal soul or whatever. WTF is that lol.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Kind of weird to use that as a basis for broad, sweeping pronouncements on the state of his eternal soul.

where was this done?

Here, for example. "That joke was unfunny" expresses judgement about the joke. "That guy is a tool" expresses judgement about the speaker. The first is fine. The second is a bridge way too far.

You're stretching rally hard to get to the post I quoted. Some people may think it's a bit toolish to make a joke based on a stereotype to a stranger. It's hardly saying the guy is an evil racist who should burn in Hell for it.

I said he was "socially awkward (in this situation)" - is that ok? I mean I'm making a judgment but it's based on the information the OP has given us.

If the woman said her Dad was Jewish and the dude responded "Is he really cheap?" would you say he was a tool (in this situation at least)?

I'm just saying that it's really weird for people to make broad, sweeping judgements about this person's moral worth ("He's a tool") based on a tiny sliver of information.

I still think you’re turning it into more than it is - I think anyone calling him a “tool” is basing it on this particular situation (i.e. he acted like a tool that night) and not the totality of his existence. I mean you called some peoples take “really weird” - is that a judgment?

Yes, it is. When I call a take "really weird," I'm expressing judgement about the take. If I were to call a person "really weird," I'd be expressing judgement about that person and probably get a friendly warning from FBG Moderator for my troubles. We all recognize that there's a difference between criticizing a particular statement or action, versus criticizing a person.

 

[massraider]

I'm just saying that it's really weird for people to make broad, sweeping judgements about this person's moral worth ("He's a tool") based on a tiny sliver of information

Kinda described all the best threads here

 

[the moops]

@Mitchie tell us more about this friend of yours? What other weird and/or inappropriate **** does he do?

@IvanKaramazov I did at least seek a little more info. Of course it was after I called him a tool though

 

[ZADO]

Most people will find something offensive in almost everything nowadays

 

[shuke]

The “joke” is the dad is African, and this guy’s first instinct is all Africans are those starving “Ethiopians” looking emaciated and covered in flies from the charity commercials. Hence “is he a thin man?”.

This is the only thing I can think he could have meant. And if so, of course that's offensive. But of course we've all heard worse. So that's how I voted.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I don't understand the comment.

So I would say not offensive at all as I have no idea what he meant.

 

[-OZ-]

It’s a terrible joke but I don’t understand how people aren’t getting the implication. It’s a joke based on the “USA for Africa” movement of feeding the poor. No one remembers all the images of bone thin famished Africans in the old commercials?

Maybe he’s just an old movie fan

 

[Mitchie]

I don't understand the comment.

So I would say not offensive at all as I have no idea what he meant.

There is an element of this to this, he did say after that we wasn't trying to make a joke, and I've known the guy for years and he is not all at racist so that was not his intent either.

 

[Stoneworker]

Thanks for replies, maybe I should've included this in the initial post, when guy was asked about it after he said he wasn't trying to make a joke but was just making conversation and that was what popped into his head.

You've got people running around in circles in here, so the onus is really on you to seek more information from the guy (who may or may not be your friend)

In the OP you stated he was being "sarcastic," but then later he's just "making conversation" and then later still he's "not being racist."

So maybe just ask him flat out what he meant?

Otherwise people are just going to make their own inferences (the most obvious one being a stereotype about Africans), and it's just a waste of a thread.

 

[Stoneworker]

What was her answer?

This was a really good question that has not gotten addressed, either. What was her/the boyfriend's reaction in general.

 

[Mitchie]

Thanks for replies, maybe I should've included this in the initial post, when guy was asked about it after he said he wasn't trying to make a joke but was just making conversation and that was what popped into his head.

You've got people running around in circles in here, so the onus is really on you to seek more information from the guy (who may or may not be your friend)

In the OP you stated he was being "sarcastic," but then later he's just "making conversation" and then later still he's "not being racist."

So maybe just ask him flat out what he meant?

Otherwise people are just going to make their own inferences (the most obvious one being a stereotype about Africans), and it's just a waste of a thread.

well it seemed a little sarcastic, maybe i should've left that out, it was really hard to say. we did ask him, he didn't mean anything by it, but people were still offended.

 

[Mitchie]

What was her answer?

This was a really good question that has not gotten addressed, either. What was her/the boyfriend's reaction in general.

she didn't say anything maybe b/c she was an outsider to the group, the boyfriend didn't really react because that's his personality but others in the group had a very strong reaction.

 

[The Z Machine]

Also, was the girlfriend fat or thin? That might affect the answer.

Yeah, maybe she was slender and he was just asking if her dad was slender.

Go on...