What's the stupidest way you've injured yourself? (1 Viewer)

[General Malaise]

Anybody goof around with 'rope elevators' while climbing trees? You know, get a rope, tie a knot in one end for a foot, throw the rope over a branch and then hoist yourself up by pulling on the line? Works pretty well and passes the time when your bored out of your mind and your parents want you out of the house. Pretty cool way to impress the girls.

What's not cool is if the knot your buddy ties fails and your foot slips out leaving no counterbalance for the rope you're pulling on, sending you flailing to the earth, flat on your back.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Anybody goof around with 'rope elevators' while climbing trees? You know, get a rope, tie a knot in one end for a foot, throw the rope over a branch and then hoist yourself up by pulling on the line? Works pretty well and passes the time when your bored out of your mind and your parents want you out of the house. Pretty cool way to impress the girls.

What's not cool is if the knot your buddy ties fails and your foot slips out leaving no counterbalance for the rope you're pulling on, sending you flailing to the earth, flat on your back.

I bet there is an instant of realization in that process where one makes a classic face before the effect of gravity turns the situation ugly. If this happened in a cartoon the coyote would wiggle his eyebrows twice, drop from the frame of view except for his hand, and waive bye-bye twice before falling to his fate in a pile of dust.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I was high. We were disc golfing. My buddy was about to tee off and I wandered from behind and to the right for a better view of his throw. His followthrough caught me square in the face. Broke my nose and broke one of my front teeth in half. I've now got a crown and slight crook to my nose.

The only DG injury I've ever sustained was hitting a tree with my followthrough. Nothing broken though.

 

[MikeIke]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

 

[IC FBGCav]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

I am 45 and I still remember vividly when I did this to myself in 2nd grade. I still cringe too.

 

[Spin]

When I was in 2nd grade or so, someone had stuck a compass, the one that is used to draw circles, into an unsharpened pencil. While pulling it out, it wasn't near as difficult as I thought and for some reason it frightened me and my initial reaction was to put pressure in the other direction. Except this time the sharp end was out, so I just jabbed into directly into my hand. Still have the "tattoo" from pulling it back out.

Around 5th - 6th grade, my brothers and I played this football game in the basement, where we would pull the futon mattress down onto the floor. The offensive player would get a running head start and try to get the ball across the futon mattress where the other two were lined up and on "defense". I was on offense and I take off running and start my juke move and cut hard off my right foot. Except I placed my plant foot way to far to the right so my pinky toe and the one next to them caught the leg of the futon frame while I was running full speed, barefoot of course. Broke both those toes, and one of the most painful things I've ever experienced.

Fast forward a few more years. Neighbor has a trampoline, except it didn't have any kind of cover around the bar/springs. I'm in the process of trying to string together as many consecutive back flips as possible and apparently misjudged where I was and my right foot came down onto the bar. Broke my same pinky toe that I had broken a few years earlier.

 

[Kanil]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

Can 8 year olds count to 234? If so, then yes, I was 8.

 

[fantasycurse42]

I tried whitening my own teeth, DENTIST WITH SOME ####TY ADVICE!!!

 

[fantasycurse42]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

Can 8 year olds count to 234? If so, then yes, I was 8.

Ummmm how big is your ####, not on a homosexual tip or anything, but 234 stitches feels like it would cover my entire thigh, maybe more, no?

 

[Kanil]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

Can 8 year olds count to 234? If so, then yes, I was 8.

Ummmm how big is your ####, not on a homosexual tip or anything, but 234 stitches feels like it would cover my entire thigh, maybe more, no?

Guys with big peckers generally don't discuss it in public forums. It's just not our style.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Caught my pecker in my zipper... ripped a hole along about 1/2 the length of the big guy. Took 234 stitches to close it.

Let me guess, you were 8 years old?

Can 8 year olds count to 234? If so, then yes, I was 8.

Ummmm how big is your ####, not on a homosexual tip or anything, but 234 stitches feels like it would cover my entire thigh, maybe more, no?

Guys with big peckers generally don't discuss it in public forums. It's just not our style.

AR humble brags about almost double digits all the time. I sorta consider him the authority on this kinda topic.