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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

If you think you may know where she works then there may be a pic of her on their website.  We really need a pic here to see what we are dealing with.

 
What if it rains when you are planning to grill?  You didn't come up with a weather calamity backup option with her? She's going to think you don't know how to think ahead and prepare.

 
Do you have your outfit picked out yet for the cookout?  Do you wear a certain outfit to grill, and then change after the grilling is finished or just use the manly grill smell to make your move on your neighbor?  

 
If the mosquitoes are bad need to take control of that situation.  Depending on the toxicity you are willing to deal with those hose end sprayers are the nuclear option.  Spray that #### everywhere.  

If looking to keep the whole cancer thing down then the thermacell products do somewhat ok.  Need it to not be windy.  Fans also do a good job of disturbing them to the point they just say #### it.  

Candles and torches are useless but at least show you thought ahead.  

 
Khakis shorts, tank top, and baseball cap.  If the cap was turned around then I think I've found my doppelganger on FBGs.

Fight to stay young my friend!

 
SHIZNITTTT said:
Do you have your outfit picked out yet for the cookout?  Do you wear a certain outfit to grill, and then change after the grilling is finished or just use the manly grill smell to make your move on your neighbor?  
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You know, I hadn't thought of a grilling outfit yet. I need to do that.  And no there won't be a change of clothes post-cook. Manly grill smell, it is. 

 
culdeus said:
If the mosquitoes are bad need to take control of that situation.  Depending on the toxicity you are willing to deal with those hose end sprayers are the nuclear option.  Spray that #### everywhere.  

If looking to keep the whole cancer thing down then the thermacell products do somewhat ok.  Need it to not be windy.  Fans also do a good job of disturbing them to the point they just say #### it.  

Candles and torches are useless but at least show you thought ahead.  
Click to expand...
Already acquired some of the canned fogger stuff and it works decently, but I had not sprayed near the area where I was standing. Also, I do have a fan and citronella candles ready to roll at the grill. 

 
Soootch said:
Weigh out 4oz. patties of 80% lean fresh lean beef and make them pretty thin and flat. Season with salt & pepper. Grill for 2-3 minutes over a moderate fire, flip, top with finely diced red onion and a Kraft yellow American single. Grill until the cheese melts completely which will be another 2 minutes, tops.

Assemble burgers: lightly toast and butter your favorite hamburger bun. Use a good brioche or potato roll if possible, something with character. Put 3 bread & butter pickle chips on the bottom half of the bun, add condiments, two patties, more condiments if desired, and the top of the bun. No lettuce or tomato; those juicy beef patties are the star of the show.

These burgers are really messy so I make a wrapper out of a paper towel.

By using two thin patties per burger and cooking them just a couple minutes on each side, you're avoiding the heresy of dried out, bloated hockey puck burgers that make you look like some swill-drinking backyard yahoo that no woman wants to ####. It's amazing how much flavor a simple beef patty has when it's cooked properly. 
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:X  

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Already acquired some of the canned fogger stuff and it works decently, but I had not sprayed near the area where I was standing. Also, I do have a fan and citronella candles ready to roll at the grill. 
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Never used canned fogger. I would think that's for an area with no grass.  If you have grass the hose end stuff imo works better since the spray has surfactant that let's it stick better. 

The candles are more a gesture than a treatment. 

 
frozen patties?!!? :lmao:  

I do get pre-made patties, but from the meat section, not the freezer section.  I throw down some foil, apply seasoning to both sides and cook to perfection. Top with cheddar or colby jack and let it melt. Then remove from the grill and let sit for 5 minutes or so. Toast the buns and apply condiments and it's on. 

And got some dogs to cook also. 

 
culdeus said:
Never used canned fogger. I would think that's for an area with no grass.  If you have grass the hose end stuff imo works better since the spray has surfactant that let's it stick better. 

The candles are more a gesture than a treatment. 
Click to expand...
Agreed on the candles.  This was my first try to use the canned fogger. Was going to pick up one of the hand-held fogger units, but they were out of the product that goes into them. Canned works ok, it seems. I sprayed around the porch areas and shrubs that were close to the house. 

I tried the hose variety once and it didn't seem to work well. Maybe I'll try another brand. Recommendation? 

 
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When during the cookout are you and the neighbor going to ditch the kids to go into the bathroom for a make out session. Don't settle for a peck on the cheek. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
frozen patties?!!? :lmao:  

I do get pre-made patties, but from the meat section, not the freezer section.  I throw down some foil, apply seasoning to both sides and cook to perfection. Top with cheddar or colby jack and let it melt. Then remove from the grill and let sit for 5 minutes or so. Toast the buns and apply condiments and it's on. 

And got some dogs to cook also. 
Click to expand...
Swap the dogs for some chicken. Show a little class man!

 
Personally, I swap in some grilled salmon for our physically fit friend. Shows respect for her work out routine and she can be relieved that your outing isn't a cheat day for her routine. It may earn you a couple of brownie points in her book.

Dress wise, here's some good advice for dressing. 

The advice 90% of you will ignore:

Think twice about wearing a T-shirt if you can just as easily wear a polo, short sleeve, or long sleeve button-up. Yes, I know everyone else wears them, but in most situations a short sleeve collared shirt is simply a better choice because of its versatility. Even a $150 designer T-shirt is outclassed by a $25 polo because the latter has a collar. 
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You gotta dress for success, either a job or a girl.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
You know, I hadn't thought of a grilling outfit yet. I need to do that.  And no there won't be a change of clothes post-cook. Manly grill smell, it is. 
Click to expand...
This is confirmed to be a thing... have had more than one female comment on it in the past as being a very good thing. 

 
get index cards and practice some double entendre grill lines;

-did you bring condiments, my sausage is ready to pop.

-wanna see if this fits in your buns?

-the beans are ready, i love digging into bush's.

-will the footlong fill you up?

-yeah, i make a special sauce.

-can i butter your buns first?

-you wanna see my ball pit?

 
Besides the grill, what activities do you have planned? I'll suggest a slip n slide for the kids. Rain will be a bonus. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
frozen patties?!!? :lmao:  

I do get pre-made patties, but from the meat section, not the freezer section.  I throw down some foil, apply seasoning to both sides and cook to perfection. Top with cheddar or colby jack and let it melt. Then remove from the grill and let sit for 5 minutes or so. Toast the buns and apply condiments and it's on. 

And got some dogs to cook also. 
Click to expand...
Finally, some action. 

I like your plan of going with burgers and dogs.  Keep the first BBQ simple.  Burgers are better than hot dogs but most little kids prefer hot dogs.  You can go with steaks and salmon next time.  To know you are on the right track with this woman, she should ask you over for dinner before she leaves your cookout. 

 
Frozen patties. Pfffft. GTFOH.

As already mentioned above like the idea to keep it simple with burgers and dogs for the first grill. You could also add some jumbo shrimp as a side option. Shake in a bag with a tbl of olive oil and some smoked paprika and put on the grill with the burger and dogs. Always a hit.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
frozen patties?!!? :lmao:  

I do get pre-made patties, but from the meat section, not the freezer section.  I throw down some foil, apply seasoning to both sides and cook to perfection. Top with cheddar or colby jack and let it melt. Then remove from the grill and let sit for 5 minutes or so. Toast the buns and apply condiments and it's on. 

And got some dogs to cook also. 
Click to expand...


Nathan R. Jessep said:
I'm not as confident in my chicken skills. I am confident in my burger game. The dogs are backup in case her girls don't eat burgers. 
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Might I suggest a carryout order of McClure's All Meats and Sides and then pass it off as your own? :moneybag:  

 
if you want to impress her grill some JUICY LUCY

see what she likes then personalize her burger. boom

maybe even add some secret sauce in it if you know what I mean. and I mean sperm

 
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