What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (1 Viewer)

EYLive said:
It's gibberish and I've put him on ignore. A little ray of sunshine that feels like a 90 minute hug warms my heart every time a post is successfully ignored.
Click to expand...
like my main man hank wadsworth longfellow said every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad well brohans the swcer is not cold he is just sad that he will never be able to talk wombats and pasties with one of our eras true luminaries eylive take that to the ignore bank bromigos 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
SWC said:
like my main man hank wadsworth longfellow said every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad well brohans the swcer is not cold he is just sad that he will never be able to talk wombats and pasties with one of our eras true luminaries eylive take that to the ignore bank bromigos 
Click to expand...
Mmmmmm pasties. 

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Ok I've decided I need the condensed version of where we are at. This thread is 95 pages long. Let's turn it into a competition. Who has the best summary.
Click to expand...
I'd at least give it a go.  This is a good thread to separate the good spirited and some really rapey chatter.

Plus, the fifteen or so pages between the 90 minute hug and the real thoughtful update are pretty damn funny.

 
SWC said:
i think he hinted that she is a secret spy for the fbi and dea whose special mission is to catch el chapo but what she does not realize is that she is actually el chapo in the flesh but they put out a total recall notice on her due to a brake malfunction which is why she has not been able to put the brakes on the hug fest and now it looks like it is heading to frenchville and a bunch of hickeys which could blow her cover so basically this thing is shaping up to be a jason borne bloodbath and will probably end up with car chase scene involving a small vehicle possibly the new ford fiesta but this fiesta does not come with chips and salsa take that to the bank brohan 
Click to expand...
i think you got the story wrong because lt kendrick was drunk when he told you what happened and lt kendrick always gets drunk every week night especially on mondays but what you have to remember is that she is a cia spy and her mission is to not tell anyone about her mission especially our hero because she is trying to get close to drew brees and make our hero jealous forcing our hero to reconsider everything including whether he is a saints fan anymore as well as if he actually wants to go back to college to become a weatherman but i think the story may end with our hero burning his brees jersey on his front lawn and then putting gutters on marissas house because she is going to need gutters if he becomes a weatherman but if he doesn't put the gutters in she could potentially become a double agent for the russians which would cause terrible things to happen including the saints relocating to omaha and peyton manning coming out to coach the new team because peyton manning loves omaha and omaha loves peyton but peyton wants to stay retired and brees doesnt want peyton as his coach but secretly snead wants peyton as the coach and brees and snead would probably not be friends anymore if peyton becomes the head coach but if he does the omaha saints could definitely win the sb and you can take that to the bank bromigo

 
Some thoughts for my boy Col Jessup...

-You do need to consider what happens once you cross the Great Barrier because let's assume like most relationships that it fizzles in 3-6 months when the Honeymoon period wears off and you're taking her trash to the curb on your way out the door after cleaning up the dishes...sorry Jessup but I gotta be real with you every once in a while, you wouldn't respect me if I didn't. You have 2 kids, I bet you can handle it if some dude walks into her place down the road but she might go all "Jihad" if you end it and then have Ms Dumplings over the week after when you write the next novel in this series of 7. 

-I think a list of rules for this relationship needs to be drawn up and signed by both parties at least mentally. Just discuss some of the things that could happen from being neighbors and deciding to play Postman. I would try to strengthen the friendship as much as possible. If you truly like just hanging out, having a beer with her or a glass of wine, watch a little sports or talk and then it's back to the house, it might work. You have 2 kids, you need something next door in theory, every single dad with 2 kids would love to be able to swing next door and have a little pick me up. 

-Have you asked this special lady what she wants? Without going into major details, is this woman someone you are really attracted to physically or is it more friends and you wouldn't mind a little physical activity if she didn't make too much of a deal about it? Is she is a 5 or a 6? Every guy needs a 6 in his back pocket( @krista4 pulls small dagger from bag to shank MOP later in the courtyard). 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Chemical X said:
our only hope in this thread, since wooing appears to be over, is for us to negatively speculate aboot the "profession" of the wooee.  not sure even the wooer knows the answer.

let's hope this creates maury type drama.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't count the pages of this thread yet.  A new wrinkle would quickly double or triple the current standing.  I was sort of surprised to see how much everyone enjoyed the cute, love struck tale of the colonel.  But imagine when the random Camaros and credit card bills start showing up.  If the colonel keeps documenting this tale, we could be in for one hell of a ride.

 
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.

 
(HULK) said:
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.
Click to expand...
Guess he's continuing even after the suspension?

 
(HULK) said:
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.
Click to expand...
Wait until next time he comes after her. Sweep the leg. No mercy. 

 
(HULK) said:
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.
Click to expand...
Give NRJ this kid's cell for some advice.  NRJ will throw in a ton of Saints gear. 

 
Ministry of Pain said:
-I think a list of rules for this relationship needs to be drawn up and signed by both parties at least mentally. Just discuss some of the things that could happen from being neighbors and deciding to play Postman. I would try to strengthen the friendship as much as possible. If you truly like just hanging out, having a beer with her or a glass of wine, watch a little sports or talk and then it's back to the house, it might work. You have 2 kids, you need something next door in theory, every single dad with 2 kids would love to be able to swing next door and have a little pick me up. 

Hmm. We have had some discussion about the neighbors thing. It's not a huge deal to either of us, other than the initial awkwardness. We've definitely been bonding. We do like hanging out, but the physical chemistry is undeniable. 

-Have you asked this special lady what she wants? Without going into major details, is this woman someone you are really attracted to physically or is it more friends and you wouldn't mind a little physical activity if she didn't make too much of a deal about it? Is she is a 5 or a 6? Every guy needs a 6 in his back pocket( @krista4 pulls small dagger from bag to shank MOP later in the courtyard). 

I am very attracted to her physically and she seems to be attracted to me as well. The 'spark' is definitely there. I was not exaggerating my rating earlier in the thread. In my experience, after you get to know someone better, that can affect the rating (be it positively or negatively). I must say, after getting to know her a little better, I would bump my rating up. :wub:  
Click to expand...
Thanks for the thoughts, MoP. See my replies above in bold. 

 
Ditka Butkus said:
Ok I've decided I need the condensed version of where we are at. This thread is 95 pages long. Let's turn it into a competition. Who has the best summary.
Click to expand...
Skim it by reading only the posts that got multiple likes (Jessep's don't count). Pretty good barometer of what's worth your time.

 
I've wondered if Joe hasn't boosted up, by a factor of 7000, the number of likes NRJ is able to give out in this thread.  It's pretty remarkable how many posts you see that he's liked.

 
(HULK) said:
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.
Click to expand...
Have the lad over this weekend.  Have a hole digging party in the backyard.  When he asks what the hole is for tell him it is for him if he ever touches your daughter again.

Don't they show these kids film strips anymore about the dangers of cooties?

 
Ministry of Pain said:
Some thoughts for my boy Col Jessup...

-You do need to consider what happens once you cross the Great Barrier because let's assume like most relationships that it fizzles in 3-6 months when the Honeymoon period wears off and you're taking her trash to the curb on your way out the door after cleaning up the dishes...sorry Jessup but I gotta be real with you every once in a while, you wouldn't respect me if I didn't. You have 2 kids, I bet you can handle it if some dude walks into her place down the road but she might go all "Jihad" if you end it and then have Ms Dumplings over the week after when you write the next novel in this series of 7. 

-I think a list of rules for this relationship needs to be drawn up and signed by both parties at least mentally. Just discuss some of the things that could happen from being neighbors and deciding to play Postman. I would try to strengthen the friendship as much as possible. If you truly like just hanging out, having a beer with her or a glass of wine, watch a little sports or talk and then it's back to the house, it might work. You have 2 kids, you need something next door in theory, every single dad with 2 kids would love to be able to swing next door and have a little pick me up. 

-Have you asked this special lady what she wants? Without going into major details, is this woman someone you are really attracted to physically or is it more friends and you wouldn't mind a little physical activity if she didn't make too much of a deal about it? Is she is a 5 or a 6? Every guy needs a 6 in his back pocket( @krista4 pulls small dagger from bag to shank MOP later in the courtyard). 
Click to expand...
Think you've mixed me up with someone else, GB.

 
(HULK) said:
Since NJR is spinning down his tale, I thought I would hi-jack with my own wooing issue... perhaps this can just be the woo thread?

Anyways:

HELP ME STOP THIS LITTLE BOY FROM WOOING MY FIRST GRADE DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This kid is like the anti-NJR.  He's also a first grader, but not in my daughter's class.  Apparently every time he sees her he says one of these 3 things: "You're so hot!", "I want to kiss you!", "You're my girlfriend!"

My daughter is upset, very upset.  Its kinda hard not to laugh at an exasperated 6 year old explain that she doesn't even know him or his name and she's not his girlfriend.  Apparently she's spent the past couple recesses running from him trying to kiss her.  One time he caught her and successfully kissed her hand.  They hadn't even been on a coffee date or had a hug-a-thon!  Kids are teasing her for having a boyfriend as well, which she isn't a fan of.

Anyways, so far her only plan is to stop brushing her hair and teeth so she won't be hot anymore.  While there is some logic to that approach, I'm asking the FFA for opinions.  What can my daughter do to brush off this kid?  TIA.
Click to expand...
(HULK SMASH!)

 
boilerdave said:
:lmao:
Click to expand...
I live in a decrepit New England mill town once powered by falls on a mighty river that is left with grand structures but no people and, as a potential tourist attraction, i'm seriously considering proposition of a riverwalk with cloisters of trees near waterfall vistas to cover surreptitious squeezings by conflicted lovers called The Hugway at our next town meeting.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
wikkidpissah said:
I live in a decrepit New England mill town once powered by falls on a mighty river that is left with grand structures but no people and, as a potential tourist attraction, i'm seriously considering proposition of a riverwalk with plenty of trees by waterfall vistas to cover surreptitious squeezings by conflicted lovers called The Hugway at our next town meeting.
Click to expand...
:lol: sounds dreamy 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

scorchy
Any banking guys that can offer solutions to a vexing issue?
Replies
31
Views
550
Mrs. Rannous
Mrs. Rannous
DJackson10
How would you solve this Issue? Neighbor keeps dogs off lease and they run around and do their business on other neighbors property.
Replies
38
Views
1K
DJackson10
DJackson10
CletiusMaximus
Setting up a new Windows Laptop for my Daughter
Replies
2
Views
190
Osaurus
Osaurus

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top