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CoronaVirus - The relationship Ender (1 Viewer)

Da Guru said:
Brunell4MVP said:
My wife has slight ADHD, which has now kicked into major overdrive.   It's barely noticeable usually.  Now she's over the cliff. 

Clothes must be removed entering the house and put in a hamper in the garage.  Gloves and masks 100% required, even in my own car.  Alcohol swabs?  There's never a chance you'd need one since we are in hazmat gear anytime we exit the premises by 1 foot.  She has not left the house in the last 3 days.  There will be no touching.  Can't get within 5 feet of her without her losing it.  Every morning a lecture to me and the college kids about what we need to do and did wrong yesterday.  Cause you know, college kids love the lectures about what they are doing wrong.  Groceries sterilize 3 days in the garage, but as of today we have to order online.  No more stores.

She's really smart.  How she went down this road in the last week is sad.  It's one thing to be smart.  It's another to live in constant fear. 

Trying to play along for the most part.  But soon I'm gonna quarantine myself in the extra bedroom, put some medieval chain locks on the door, and get a full subscription to pornhub.
Click to expand...
How do people let items that need refrigeration sit in the garage for 3 days?  Like any dairy products like yogurt, milk ,cheese, ice cream?

I have the large plastic crate that I have been putting my canned goods, Gatorade and all sealed packages in.  I put it in the driveway and spray some Clorox on.  Then rise off everything with running water from the hose for a couple of minutes and let dry.    Not sure if it works but it makes my wife feel better.
Click to expand...
My wife is the opposite - no chance she's going to sanitize groceries. She's not keen on wearing a mask anytime soon, either. She's pretty chill about it all, which I'm happy about, because I am too. I use the phrase "not afraid but prudent" to describe our actions. I'll use the wipe on the grocery cart handle, I'll wash my hands after coming home from the store (and frequently at home), but I'm not going to treat every item and breath of air like it's infected. I couldn't handle that for a day, nevermind a month. 

 
Brunell4MVP said:
My wife has slight ADHD, which has now kicked into major overdrive.   It's barely noticeable usually.  Now she's over the cliff. 

Clothes must be removed entering the house and put in a hamper in the garage.  Gloves and masks 100% required, even in my own car.  Alcohol swabs?  There's never a chance you'd need one since we are in hazmat gear anytime we exit the premises by 1 foot.  She has not left the house in the last 3 days.  There will be no touching.  Can't get within 5 feet of her without her losing it.  Every morning a lecture to me and the college kids about what we need to do and did wrong yesterday.  Cause you know, college kids love the lectures about what they are doing wrong.  Groceries sterilize 3 days in the garage, but as of today we have to order online.  No more stores.

She's really smart.  How she went down this road in the last week is sad.  It's one thing to be smart.  It's another to live in constant fear. 

Trying to play along for the most part.  But soon I'm gonna quarantine myself in the extra bedroom, put some medieval chain locks on the door, and get a full subscription to pornhub.
Click to expand...
Is the news on the TV 24/7 or even the vast majority of the day by chance? If so, change the channel to anything but the news.

 
Brunell4MVP said:
My wife has slight ADHD, which has now kicked into major overdrive.   It's barely noticeable usually.  Now she's over the cliff. 

Clothes must be removed entering the house and put in a hamper in the garage.  Gloves and masks 100% required, even in my own car.  Alcohol swabs?  There's never a chance you'd need one since we are in hazmat gear anytime we exit the premises by 1 foot.  She has not left the house in the last 3 days.  There will be no touching.  Can't get within 5 feet of her without her losing it.  Every morning a lecture to me and the college kids about what we need to do and did wrong yesterday.  Cause you know, college kids love the lectures about what they are doing wrong.  Groceries sterilize 3 days in the garage, but as of today we have to order online.  No more stores.

She's really smart.  How she went down this road in the last week is sad.  It's one thing to be smart.  It's another to live in constant fear. 

Trying to play along for the most part.  But soon I'm gonna quarantine myself in the extra bedroom, put some medieval chain locks on the door, and get a full subscription to pornhub.
Click to expand...
Wow, not sure how you can deal with that. I would have jumped off a building by now.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Long Ball Larry said:
i don't even know why the original thread was axed.  if that could be explained, it would be helpful.

i would say that there is something relevant in here, anyway, because the fact is that being cooped up with family all day every day is what is exacerbating many of these issues.  i guess i am just trying to blow off steam in a seemingly innocuous way, which does help  reduce tension and i thought that this thread was initially kind of supposed to be for that.  now, i do know that it took a much more serious turn, which i don't discount, so if people are saying that they only want this thread to be serious, then so be it.  my general feeling is that overpolicing during this unprecedented situation doesn't help.
Click to expand...
I'm all for the humor in this thread.  The title alone is hilarious.  But let's not tempt the mods to intervene.  Even the serious stories (like Brunell's above), though sad, crack me up.  This thread should be for stories of crazy things going on in your house/relationships.  That said, let me add one...

My wife decided to make a mask the other night, using old cotton t-shirts.  She was drunk and stoned.  When she finished, she tried it on, then started laughing.  She had left the needle in, and cut her face.  I laughed along with her, then she pulled a 180 and started screaming at me.  The moral of the story - expect the unexpected when your wife is drunk, stoned, and off her Prozac.

 
So, the last 3 posts are about oatmeal?  OK, might as well make it 4...

Oatmeal is fun.  I am stupid.  Oatmeal is great!  Blah, blah, blah

 
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!

 
Last edited by a moderator:
comfortably numb said:
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!
Click to expand...
I love that you included the pic.  To be fair to her, the gel clashes with everything else

 
comfortably numb said:
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!
Click to expand...
we have double sinks. spread plenty far apart, with a counter top in between.  

i fight this battle every day. "my" sink has 5% of the bathroom items on it that hers + the counter top (all her stuff) has, but i'm the one making the mess.

in my case it's definitely that she's used to having a bathroom all to herself.  previous house we each had our own bathroom on different levels of the house. mine was upstairs & essentially large enough for a stand-up shower, sink and toilet... barely. hers was downstairs and the size of a small bedroom w/ walk in-closet, tub & shower.

now that we are sharing the same bathroom it's like i'm invading her personal fiefdom every day and it ratchets her anxiety up past reasonable levels.  

forget that i'm in there for 10 minutes in the morning to shower and shave, while she's in there for a minimum of 90... and i don't have to get anywhere near her except when getting in/out of the shower... it's still too much.

 
comfortably numb said:
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!
Click to expand...
Thank you for getting us back on track and..... :lmao:

 
Da Guru said:
How do people let items that need refrigeration sit in the garage for 3 days?  Like any dairy products like yogurt, milk ,cheese, ice cream?

I have the large plastic crate that I have been putting my canned goods, Gatorade and all sealed packages in.  I put it in the driveway and spray some Clorox on.  Then rise off everything with running water from the hose for a couple of minutes and let dry.    Not sure if it works but it makes my wife feel better.
Click to expand...
We have two extra refrigerators.  Stuff goes in the garage one, then makes it to real fridges a couple of days later.

 
The home schooling of my 7 year old daughter might be what sends my wife over the edge.  I'll be collateral damage in this catastrophe.  Today, wife sent me a video of our daughter throwing a tantrum because her 'homework' from school was to write ONE sentence about an animal she'd like to have as a pet.  In the video, she says screams - and I quote - "I wish dad was here because he is WAY nicer than you!".  

So, uh.....I think I'm going to just run away from home.  This isn't going to be a fun evening for me is it?

 
General Malaise said:
The home schooling of my 7 year old daughter might be what sends my wife over the edge.  I'll be collateral damage in this catastrophe.  Today, wife sent me a video of our daughter throwing a tantrum because her 'homework' from school was to write ONE sentence about an animal she'd like to have as a pet.  In the video, she says screams - and I quote - "I wish dad was here because he is WAY nicer than you!".  

So, uh.....I think I'm going to just run away from home.  This isn't going to be a fun evening for me is it?
Click to expand...
I would start with:  :banned:

Then go for one of these:  :banned:

Change clothes. Grab one of these:  :banned:

After you are done with this one:  :banned:

Then Ask: How was your day?  :football:

 
General Malaise said:
The home schooling of my 7 year old daughter might be what sends my wife over the edge.  I'll be collateral damage in this catastrophe.  Today, wife sent me a video of our daughter throwing a tantrum because her 'homework' from school was to write ONE sentence about an animal she'd like to have as a pet.  In the video, she says screams - and I quote - "I wish dad was here because he is WAY nicer than you!".  

So, uh.....I think I'm going to just run away from home.  This isn't going to be a fun evening for me is it?
Click to expand...
Let me guess, it went something like this:

Mrs gm: what animal would like to write about

Little gm: I want to write about a monkey for a pet!!! It would be so fun to climb trees and go for walks and play outside.

Mrs gm: how about a cat or dog.

Little gm: but it says any animal. I think a monkey would be fun

Mrs gm: you are not going to write about a monkey. That is a dumb pet. You have to pick a real pet and not a made up pet, why do you not listen to me. I said it need to be a real pet. 

😢

 
Last edited by a moderator:
belljr said:
Let me guess, it went something like this:

Mrs gm: what animal would like to write about

Little gm: I want to write about a monkey for a pet!!! It would be so fun to climb trees and go for walks and play outside.

Mrs gm: how about a cat or dog.

Little gm: but it says any animal. I think a monkey would be fun

Mrs gm: you are not going to write about a monkey. That is a dumb pet. You have to pick a real pet and a made up pet, why do you not listen to me. I said it need to be a real pet. 

😢
Click to expand...
She picked a snake because I'm deathly afraid of them.  I wish she was way nicer to me.

 

 
General Malaise said:
The home schooling of my 7 year old daughter might be what sends my wife over the edge.  I'll be collateral damage in this catastrophe.  Today, wife sent me a video of our daughter throwing a tantrum because her 'homework' from school was to write ONE sentence about an animal she'd like to have as a pet.  In the video, she says screams - and I quote - "I wish dad was here because he is WAY nicer than you!".  

So, uh.....I think I'm going to just run away from home.  This isn't going to be a fun evening for me is it?
Click to expand...
my 7 year old son did this last week; he picked a turtle... so he could give it to his sister because she loves turtles.  He is way nicer than she is. 

 
General Malaise said:
The home schooling of my 7 year old daughter might be what sends my wife over the edge.  I'll be collateral damage in this catastrophe.  Today, wife sent me a video of our daughter throwing a tantrum because her 'homework' from school was to write ONE sentence about an animal she'd like to have as a pet.  In the video, she says screams - and I quote - "I wish dad was here because he is WAY nicer than you!".  

So, uh.....I think I'm going to just run away from home.  This isn't going to be a fun evening for me is it?
Click to expand...
Hiding under the blanket was a nice touch.

 
jwb said:
My wife is the opposite - no chance she's going to sanitize groceries. She's not keen on wearing a mask anytime soon, either. She's pretty chill about it all, which I'm happy about, because I am too. I use the phrase "not afraid but prudent" to describe our actions. I'll use the wipe on the grocery cart handle, I'll wash my hands after coming home from the store (and frequently at home), but I'm not going to treat every item and breath of air like it's infected. I couldn't handle that for a day, nevermind a month. 
Click to expand...
Meanwhile, my wife has a weekly dinner with her friends and wants to shop for mulch, flowers, and has gone to a dozen grocery stores looking for her special creamer. :wall:

And then she wonders why I give her #### about it. 

 
belljr said:
Let me guess, it went something like this:

Mrs gm: what animal would like to write about

Little gm: I want to write about a monkey for a pet!!! It would be so fun to climb trees and go for walks and play outside.

Mrs gm: how about a cat or dog.

Little gm: but it says any animal. I think a monkey would be fun

Mrs gm: you are not going to write about a monkey. That is a dumb pet. You have to pick a real pet and not a made up pet, why do you not listen to me. I said it need to be a real pet. 

😢
Click to expand...
Clearly not a fan of friends or Curious George.

 
comfortably numb said:
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!
Click to expand...
The pic alone was worth the laugh. I’m thankful to have my own sink in the master. My wife has been annoyed at my youngest (soon to be 13). We just had the master bathroom remodeled (thankfully in January) and now that my college freshman is home, he loves to poop and shower in our bathroom. Drives her nuts since he and my 15 year old have their own bathroom with two sinks. He was using his oldest brother’s bathroom before he came home and wouldn’t use his bathroom because his older brother was manscaping in the shower and not washing it all down.

 
comfortably numb said:
I'll get us back on track...

This has happened in the past, so its not like it's related to CV quarantine in anyway.

Sometimes I leave my gel on our bathroomn sink counter. She'll be like can you put this away (in the small closet) I don't understand why.... more on that later..

She says she "wants It out of the way" 

Whatever....  I will do whatever if it don't bother me. We share this master bathroom and our 10yo son uses it to brush his teeth. We have another bathroom 10' away in the hall that my daughter primarily uses.

The part on why I don't understand that its a deal to her is the counter is pretty big and tons of her products are all over the place. Not like my bottle of gel is making a mess of a neat assortment of stuff.

http://imgur.com/a/ukoUH12

Here is a pic

I'm basically coming to the conclusion that she would prefer living alone so my things aren't in her way?

I'm sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason that this is somehow my fault....but for now I'm taking it as her wanting all the toys in her sandbox and she gets to decide what and who plays?

Now I'm leaving my gel AND deodorant on the counter!!
Click to expand...
Dump the bottle of Laroche Posay out and squeeze all your gel into that bottle.  

 
mr. furley said:
guys, if your wife comes home telling you about an IQ test that all employees at her job are required to take as part of the hiring process.. and she tells you that her boss told her she scored the 3rd best out of everyone in the company.... and then she asks you to take it "for fun".... tank it.  just... tank it.

and when she makes you take it again "to be sure the score was right".  tank it again. and again. until you score lower than she does. do it drunk and with both eyes closed if you have to, but for the love of god just tank it.
Click to expand...
I’ve known you were a genius ever since you demonstrated the effortless efficiency of a Nepalese Sherpa when attending to your Camelbak.

Good to see it was backed up by hard science. 

 
So yesterday I rocked a Charlie Chaplin moustache and a top hat most of the day. Almost kept it longer but didnt feel like having to wear the top hat running so people didnt get my artistic intent confused. 

Wife was not a fan.

Today i think I will go with and inverse mohawk or the friar look I am taking suggestions though. 

 
  • Laughing
Reactions: SWC
parasaurolophus said:
So yesterday I rocked a Charlie Chaplin moustache and a top hat most of the day. Almost kept it longer but didnt feel like having to wear the top hat running so people didnt get my artistic intent confused. 

Wife was not a fan.

Today i think I will go with and inverse mohawk or the friar look I am taking suggestions though. 
Click to expand...
You should lose the hat and tell your wife of your idea going forward in society to lose the handshake and instead offer a salute to people by sticking your arm out straight forward up in the air...just slightly above your head. Maybe even do like a heel click thing to add emphasis? 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
stbugs said:
The pic alone was worth the laugh. I’m thankful to have my own sink in the master. My wife has been annoyed at my youngest (soon to be 13). We just had the master bathroom remodeled (thankfully in January) and now that my college freshman is home, he loves to poop and shower in our bathroom. Drives her nuts since he and my 15 year old have their own bathroom with two sinks. He was using his oldest brother’s bathroom before he came home and wouldn’t use his bathroom because his older brother was manscaping in the shower and not washing it all down.
Click to expand...
Well the easy solution would be to do some manscaping of your own and leaving it.

 
Great tip for everyone in this thread:     
My wife, who has WAY too much time and energy than anyone i know has done like 7 or 8 puzzles (betw 500 -1000 pieces) over teh last 2 weeks.
There's even a facebook group in our neighborhood that is trading puzzles like they are covid-currency. 

 
Nemesis said:
Great tip for everyone in this thread:     
My wife, who has WAY too much time and energy than anyone i know has done like 7 or 8 puzzles (betw 500 -1000 pieces) over teh last 2 weeks.
There's even a facebook group in our neighborhood that is trading puzzles like they are covid-currency. 
Click to expand...
Aren't they also trading germs and potentially COVID?  Who is going to sanitize these 500-1000 piece puzzles?

 
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