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GM's thread about nothing (8 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
gamera
Footballguy
Just don't lose your mind when you find out they can retire at 80% salary at age 53. You'll be fine.So should I be worried about going to Greece in a month? Not a big fan of tear gas
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Bring money.So should I be worried about going to Greece in a month? Not a big fan of tear gas
McJose
Footballguy
See if Shelly Dubinski can find dates for your friends.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I don't get it. What Cinnabons? And how do I reply directly? Twitter agitates me. The game Apples to Apples is going to cause me to destroy public property one day. Talking about agitation.'urbanhack said:
General Malaise
Footballguy
I like the way you roll.'Chaos Commish said:I gave you an quality link for organic Mexican. La Sirena in El Segundo. She'll love it. There's excellent farmers markets close by every day of the week. I eat at them all the time because I deliver produce to them all the time. I think they're a kick but maybe I'm strange. There's a couple world reknowned on the weekends, Santa Monica and Hollywood, if you're interested. They're not much better than a few others near you. If I was in the South Bay I doubt I would bother, and I'm an organic local fresh food junkie. If you're interested in grabbing some healthy fresh grub for the room or the beach let me know which day you'll be where and I can decipher that schedule for a tourist. I can probably direct you to my very own homegrown heirloom tomatoes which are selling in LA to the tune of a ton a week right now.There is a great (supposedly) all organic grassfed burger joint around there. I haven't been, but I've been meaning to because of the reviews. Need to look it up -- sorry, cannot find it. A bunch in WLA but didn't see the one I've been hearing about. Ugh, my aging brain.'Leeroy Jenkins said:
Here's a decent way to beat the madness of crowds (I hate them maybe you don't) for a nice South Bay day with your gal on a holiday weekend. I'm sure Sonny can patch this up. Hit the Torrance or PV (or Santa Monica) farmer's market early in the morning Sat or Sun. Stock up on some healthy picnic grub. There will be artisan cheeses breads and every organic fruit and veggie imaginable. Toss in a good bottle of wine or whatever you might enjoy. Then head for the ocean front edge of the PV peninsula, get past the main housing developments, and hit one of the hiking trails not named Shipwreck. Wayfarer's Chapel (xgf used to attend for the views not the religion) is a beautiful spot and has some trails that lead to amazing views. Portuguese Bend used to lead to a pretty quiet beach for a picnic. Sonny, you know what I'm getting at. Help before I give away your secret break.
General Malaise
Footballguy
huh?'saintfool said:
General Malaise
Footballguy
It's clunky too. I don't like having to think really hard about how to reply to something like this...yet I just don't see how to do it with ease on my phone. And that doesn't begin to describe the frustration I have over trying to figure out what the hell he is talking about. What Cinnabon? Where? I hate sweets. I don't eat that crap. Why is this funny? What does it mean? Why is shuke better at twitter than me?'Mr. Pickles said:
Seatown Mofos
Footballguy
You know when you are walking through a mall and you smell a fragrance one part cinnamon and ten parts gooey doughy sugary mix that causes you to gain 5 pounds just by inhailing the scent??? Yeah, that's Cinnabon...
Gadzooks
Footballguy
I think Michael Jordan gave Rudnicki drugs and alcohol when he was 15. Jordan may have done some inappropriate to young A-Rud and A-Rud's mom called the cops on Jordan when she saw the phone bill. That's how I read it. Then again i'm a little tipsy right now.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
You seem rather shuked.
Osaurus
Footballguy
Just wear an olive oil soaked hankerchief over your face the whole time. You'll be fine.So should I be worried about going to Greece in a month? Not a big fan of tear gas
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St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
We're looking at 7-10 more today in the same area. This might be the straw that broke the cat shirts back. Mrs. SLB apparently thinks I have nothing to do all day but look at links of houses she's found online. Yesterday I suggested I just get an apartment in a good school district and have Cal live with me...
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Big fan of this game.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
And then...
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
You're having, I'm Arby's.
The_Man
Footballguy
I am a master of this game. Here's the secret - it's not about picking the example that you think best relates to the adjective. It's about picking the example that the judge thinks best relates. So if the judge is stupid, pick a stupid example - not the one you think/know is best, but the one that a stupid person would think is best. If the judge is smart, pick the smart example.
The_Man
Footballguy
My wife just got a new job, which means our 13-year-old son is going to be home alone during the workday for the next couple of weeks until vacation and camps kick in.
So last night I got on the computer and did a quick check of the browser history to find searches for: perky breasts, Vanessa Hudgins, and links to a bunch of Cosmo sex how-to stories and a few pr0n videos.
Not sure what to do about it, if anything. I was certainly stealing looks at Playboy at that age. I'll probably not mention anything specific about the Internet and just do a casual, "What's up with girls?" talk. Unless I end up with a bunch of malware on the computer, in which case he's in big trouble.
So last night I got on the computer and did a quick check of the browser history to find searches for: perky breasts, Vanessa Hudgins, and links to a bunch of Cosmo sex how-to stories and a few pr0n videos.
Not sure what to do about it, if anything. I was certainly stealing looks at Playboy at that age. I'll probably not mention anything specific about the Internet and just do a casual, "What's up with girls?" talk. Unless I end up with a bunch of malware on the computer, in which case he's in big trouble.
kinda long story, feel free to jump over
Soooo, posted a few days back about how I need all new pipes. Rather than tackle the entire house at once, we decided to do the horizontal pipes in the attic first as they were in the most need of replacing (as well as the least expensive), as vertical pipes can last a bit longer.
Anyhow, work was completed on Monday, bled the lines, everything seemed to be working fine, that is except our kitchen faucet. When you turned on the hot or cold water, extremely low water pressure. So, being the handy man I am, I figured I can fix this, must be some debris in the aerator, so I took apart the aerator, cleaned it out, and voila...still #### water pressure. Okay, no biggie, I'll pickup a new one, that should do the trick. So, come home the next day, change aerators, still nothing, so call the plumbers, told them they must have effed up my line somewhere.
They come out yesterday at lunch and tell me that the pipes and valves under the sink are pretty corroded and they need to be changed out. No ####, all the pipes in my house are pretty corroded, but oh well, gotta get them done sooner or later, so go ahead and fix this up and get my sink working. I had to go back to work, but my wife came home early and I just told her to make sure the kitchen faucet is working properly before they leave. So, I get a text from her. They switched out everything, still not working, plumber says it MUST be the faucet itself and something got caked up or clogged up in there and he can replace it for $279 + the cost of the fixture we choose.
I say, hell no, I have changed a couple of faucets in my time, so tell him to eff off, I'll fix it. My wife calls and says she is going to go up to Lowe's pick up a new one and she would try to replace it before I got home. 
That woman is so terrific. Anyway, I tell her if she wants to try, to go for it, but I'll be home in a short while.
Well, I give her a call on my way home to see how it's going and she is audibly pissed off. Women have a certain tone when they're not happy, and my wife's tone is that times about 1000. She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and I tell her to relax, I'll take care of it :flex: Now if any of you knew me, which none of you do, rest assured my claim of being a handyman would bring a chuckle. But, I couldn't fail in front of the children, nor would I pay someone 300 bucks to change out a faucet because I couldn't unscrew a nut.
I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.
Now I'm , my fingers are in extreme pain...but I will not be beat.
So after a quick thought or two, I decide what needs to be done. I get my jigsaw, and by God, I cut that plastic nut right off.
It worked, I changed out the faucet, and I am still a hero/handyman extraordinaire to my children who are too young to know better.
I'm sure there will be more adventures in plumbing to come up over the months ahead. I only hope I can be a valuable asset to this thread.
Soooo, posted a few days back about how I need all new pipes. Rather than tackle the entire house at once, we decided to do the horizontal pipes in the attic first as they were in the most need of replacing (as well as the least expensive), as vertical pipes can last a bit longer.
Anyhow, work was completed on Monday, bled the lines, everything seemed to be working fine, that is except our kitchen faucet. When you turned on the hot or cold water, extremely low water pressure. So, being the handy man I am, I figured I can fix this, must be some debris in the aerator, so I took apart the aerator, cleaned it out, and voila...still #### water pressure. Okay, no biggie, I'll pickup a new one, that should do the trick. So, come home the next day, change aerators, still nothing, so call the plumbers, told them they must have effed up my line somewhere.
They come out yesterday at lunch and tell me that the pipes and valves under the sink are pretty corroded and they need to be changed out. No ####, all the pipes in my house are pretty corroded, but oh well, gotta get them done sooner or later, so go ahead and fix this up and get my sink working. I had to go back to work, but my wife came home early and I just told her to make sure the kitchen faucet is working properly before they leave. So, I get a text from her. They switched out everything, still not working, plumber says it MUST be the faucet itself and something got caked up or clogged up in there and he can replace it for $279 + the cost of the fixture we choose.
I say, hell no, I have changed a couple of faucets in my time, so tell him to eff off, I'll fix it. My wife calls and says she is going to go up to Lowe's pick up a new one and she would try to replace it before I got home. That woman is so terrific. Anyway, I tell her if she wants to try, to go for it, but I'll be home in a short while.Well, I give her a call on my way home to see how it's going and she is audibly pissed off. Women have a certain tone when they're not happy, and my wife's tone is that times about 1000. She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and
I tell her to relax, I'll take care of it :flex: Now if any of you knew me, which none of you do, rest assured my claim of being a handyman would bring a chuckle. But, I couldn't fail in front of the children, nor would I pay someone 300 bucks to change out a faucet because I couldn't unscrew a nut.I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.
Now I'm
, my fingers are in extreme pain...but I will not be beat.So after a quick thought or two, I decide what needs to be done. I get my jigsaw, and by God, I cut that plastic nut right off.
It worked, I changed out the faucet, and I am still a hero/handyman extraordinaire to my children who are too young to know better.
I'm sure there will be more adventures in plumbing to come up over the months ahead. I only hope I can be a valuable asset to this thread.
The_Man
Footballguy
Back to back posts about people getting their nuts off at home.But, I couldn't fail in front of the children, nor would I pay someone 300 bucks to change out a faucet because I couldn't unscrew a nut.I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.Now I'm
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
this comes in handy at timessee?kinda long story, feel free to jump over
Soooo, posted a few days back about how I need all new pipes. Rather than tackle the entire house at once, we decided to do the horizontal pipes in the attic first as they were in the most need of replacing (as well as the least expensive), as vertical pipes can last a bit longer.
Anyhow, work was completed on Monday, bled the lines, everything seemed to be working fine, that is except our kitchen faucet. When you turned on the hot or cold water, extremely low water pressure. So, being the handy man I am, I figured I can fix this, must be some debris in the aerator, so I took apart the aerator, cleaned it out, and voila...still #### water pressure. Okay, no biggie, I'll pickup a new one, that should do the trick. So, come home the next day, change aerators, still nothing, so call the plumbers, told them they must have effed up my line somewhere.
They come out yesterday at lunch and tell me that the pipes and valves under the sink are pretty corroded and they need to be changed out. No ####, all the pipes in my house are pretty corroded, but oh well, gotta get them done sooner or later, so go ahead and fix this up and get my sink working. I had to go back to work, but my wife came home early and I just told her to make sure the kitchen faucet is working properly before they leave. So, I get a text from her. They switched out everything, still not working, plumber says it MUST be the faucet itself and something got caked up or clogged up in there and he can replace it for $279 + the cost of the fixture we choose.
Well, I give her a call on my way home to see how it's going and she is audibly pissed off. Women have a certain tone when they're not happy, and my wife's tone is that times about 1000. She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and
I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.
Now I'm
So after a quick thought or two, I decide what needs to be done. I get my jigsaw, and by God, I cut that plastic nut right off.
It worked, I changed out the faucet, and I am still a hero/handyman extraordinaire to my children who are too young to know better.
I'm sure there will be more adventures in plumbing to come up over the months ahead. I only hope I can be a valuable asset to this thread.
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McJose
Footballguy
One of the hardest DIY jobs I've ever done was replacing my kitchen faucet. There were 5 nuts holding the faucet in place...3 brass and 2 plastic. One of the brass ones was so 'frozen' it took me 40 minutes to loosen it. BOTH of the plastic locking nuts were frozen and the special tool I had did nothing but strip off the 'ears'. My solution? I took an old steak knife that I keep in my toolbox and heated it up over the stove. Then I used it to cut/melt through the plastic. I like your jizsaw move better but I don't think I could have fit it under the sink.She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and
YSR
Footballguy
Good stuff.kinda long story, feel free to jump over
Soooo, posted a few days back about how I need all new pipes. Rather than tackle the entire house at once, we decided to do the horizontal pipes in the attic first as they were in the most need of replacing (as well as the least expensive), as vertical pipes can last a bit longer.
Anyhow, work was completed on Monday, bled the lines, everything seemed to be working fine, that is except our kitchen faucet. When you turned on the hot or cold water, extremely low water pressure. So, being the handy man I am, I figured I can fix this, must be some debris in the aerator, so I took apart the aerator, cleaned it out, and voila...still #### water pressure. Okay, no biggie, I'll pickup a new one, that should do the trick. So, come home the next day, change aerators, still nothing, so call the plumbers, told them they must have effed up my line somewhere.
They come out yesterday at lunch and tell me that the pipes and valves under the sink are pretty corroded and they need to be changed out. No ####, all the pipes in my house are pretty corroded, but oh well, gotta get them done sooner or later, so go ahead and fix this up and get my sink working. I had to go back to work, but my wife came home early and I just told her to make sure the kitchen faucet is working properly before they leave. So, I get a text from her. They switched out everything, still not working, plumber says it MUST be the faucet itself and something got caked up or clogged up in there and he can replace it for $279 + the cost of the fixture we choose.
Well, I give her a call on my way home to see how it's going and she is audibly pissed off. Women have a certain tone when they're not happy, and my wife's tone is that times about 1000. She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and
I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.
Now I'm
So after a quick thought or two, I decide what needs to be done. I get my jigsaw, and by God, I cut that plastic nut right off.
It worked, I changed out the faucet, and I am still a hero/handyman extraordinaire to my children who are too young to know better.
I'm sure there will be more adventures in plumbing to come up over the months ahead. I only hope I can be a valuable asset to this thread.
Sounds a LOT like the YSR household. As I have mentioned several times, we have undertaken a home renovation, only contracting out major plumbing and major electrical. Going into it, I didn't know how to do anything, but Mr. YSR knew it all. I've learned a bunch over the last year and am now really capable when it comes to projects such as the one you described above. I do, however, know when to say when and ask for Mr. YSR to come in and save the day when I'm stuck (or I'm just tired of working on it 
).Guys are installing carpet as I type and once that's done, we begin to clean and stage the house. Then we list. And then... profit?
McJose
Footballguy
Those work if everything is just right. I actually went out and bought this faucet tool. It worked great on the brass nuts that weren't frozen but all it did on the plastic nuts was strip the grips.
Thorn
Footballguy
Basin wrench. That is all.ETA: fuller>hikinda long story, feel free to jump over
Soooo, posted a few days back about how I need all new pipes. Rather than tackle the entire house at once, we decided to do the horizontal pipes in the attic first as they were in the most need of replacing (as well as the least expensive), as vertical pipes can last a bit longer.
Anyhow, work was completed on Monday, bled the lines, everything seemed to be working fine, that is except our kitchen faucet. When you turned on the hot or cold water, extremely low water pressure. So, being the handy man I am, I figured I can fix this, must be some debris in the aerator, so I took apart the aerator, cleaned it out, and voila...still #### water pressure. Okay, no biggie, I'll pickup a new one, that should do the trick. So, come home the next day, change aerators, still nothing, so call the plumbers, told them they must have effed up my line somewhere.
They come out yesterday at lunch and tell me that the pipes and valves under the sink are pretty corroded and they need to be changed out. No ####, all the pipes in my house are pretty corroded, but oh well, gotta get them done sooner or later, so go ahead and fix this up and get my sink working. I had to go back to work, but my wife came home early and I just told her to make sure the kitchen faucet is working properly before they leave. So, I get a text from her. They switched out everything, still not working, plumber says it MUST be the faucet itself and something got caked up or clogged up in there and he can replace it for $279 + the cost of the fixture we choose.
Well, I give her a call on my way home to see how it's going and she is audibly pissed off. Women have a certain tone when they're not happy, and my wife's tone is that times about 1000. She says she cannot get off one of the plastic nuts under the sink that hold the faucet in place, she's been working on it for an hour and she's hurt and
I get home, all the tools are on the floor in the kitchen and I get crackin on it. Pipe wrench is too large to get at it, locking pliers aren't deep enough, regular pliers are too small and cannot grip it, and as best as I could twist myself under the sink, this nut was not going to budge for all the strength and will in my body.
Now I'm
So after a quick thought or two, I decide what needs to be done. I get my jigsaw, and by God, I cut that plastic nut right off.
It worked, I changed out the faucet, and I am still a hero/handyman extraordinaire to my children who are too young to know better.
I'm sure there will be more adventures in plumbing to come up over the months ahead. I only hope I can be a valuable asset to this thread.
Last edited by a moderator:
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Cost to rent a car for two days in Boston and return in Boston: $131
Cost to rent a car for two days in Boston and return in NYC: $379
Cost to rent a car for two days in Boston and return in NYC: $379
I mentioned to my wife there HAS to be a tool for this sort of thing, I'm not the only one that has issues unscrewing these things. She said she doubted it. Next time I'll post here before I undertake a home improvement project. I love you guys.
Chaos Commish
Footballguy
Good job guru. As great as Evilgrins wife sounds I like yours better.
She tried to install a sink. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
The_Man, I don't want to raise a debate on this, but congrats, your boy is normal. If you saw the bizarre gay and animal stuff my bro's teenager was looking at... freak out. Today that kid is overemployed and happily married to a lovely human female with the second kid on the way. I would mention to the kid that whatever he does on the computer you can easily see. I wouldn't explain it beyond telling him there's parental software installed, sex sites can seriously ruin computers so stay away from them, and perky breasts are indeed the best kind (a Venessa Hudgens joke might be unavoidable for me). Of course a "The Talk" is in order. I'm a single dad with sole custody of a 12 year old human female and she started her cycle so we have talked about things a lot. Someday if I can find the right voice, I can bring some hilarity to that topic, but I had her explaining to friends that hadn't started yet that for the next 40 years or so she would be laying an egg every month. When they told their moms about my kid laying eggs I got phone calls.
She tried to install a sink. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
The_Man, I don't want to raise a debate on this, but congrats, your boy is normal. If you saw the bizarre gay and animal stuff my bro's teenager was looking at... freak out. Today that kid is overemployed and happily married to a lovely human female with the second kid on the way. I would mention to the kid that whatever he does on the computer you can easily see. I wouldn't explain it beyond telling him there's parental software installed, sex sites can seriously ruin computers so stay away from them, and perky breasts are indeed the best kind (a Venessa Hudgens joke might be unavoidable for me). Of course a "The Talk" is in order. I'm a single dad with sole custody of a 12 year old human female and she started her cycle so we have talked about things a lot. Someday if I can find the right voice, I can bring some hilarity to that topic, but I had her explaining to friends that hadn't started yet that for the next 40 years or so she would be laying an egg every month. When they told their moms about my kid laying eggs I got phone calls.
heckmanm
Footballguy
Or, just go for laughs. Like the time the adjective was "quiet" and I submitted "Princess Di". (I won that round - my family is kind of twisted.)
YSR
Footballguy
I will feel infinitely more comfortable seeing this in my future son's search history than I did when I found similar (minus the how-to stories) in my dad's search history several years ago.
Bogart
Footballguy
I already have my speech laid out for young Bogart when this happens."Son, I have to tell you, when I was your age, we didn't have the Internet. I had to steal Playboys and erotic paperbacks from my uncle and stepdad, later on I had to download ASCII pictures over a 28.8k baud modem. I had to chat with grown men living in their parents basement who would pretend to be 21 year old girls with perfect bodies, while I spend 2 hours downloading 15 second clips. Years later I thought I had found heaven when I found ForrestMail, but it was just the beginning. Son, having the Internet is kind of like being Spider-Man - with great power comes great responsibility. So please, please be safe when surfing, tell Dad if you find anything good, and don't let your Mom catch you."
Tecumseh
Footballguy
"I've performed hours, nee, days of research to find safe sites for this type of activity. Here's a list that should keep you busy until your callouses have callouses. Godspeed."
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
My daughters substitute gymnastics coach's nipples have been rock hard the entire 36 minutes of her class this morning. 6 or so on the offdee scale. Her regular coach is an easy 8. The nipples are nice, but the regular coach is much nicer to look at.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Her regular coach just showed up!!
Ah, the simple pleasures of a married man.
Ah, the simple pleasures of a married man.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
Shoot her a text "I think you left your headlights on"(5 minutes later)"Nope, that was someone at the deli next door"
Bogart
Footballguy
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
I am unable to textually harass this one, as I do not have her number.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Good job guru. As great as Evilgrins wife sounds I like yours better.
She tried to install a sink. That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
The_Man, I don't want to raise a debate on this, but congrats, your boy is normal. If you saw the bizarre gay and animal stuff my bro's teenager was looking at... freak out. Today that kid is overemployed and happily married to a lovely human female with the second kid on the way. I would mention to the kid that whatever he does on the computer you can easily see. I wouldn't explain it beyond telling him there's parental software installed, sex sites can seriously ruin computers so stay away from them, and perky breasts are indeed the best kind (a Venessa Hudgens joke might be unavoidable for me). Of course a "The Talk" is in order. I'm a single dad with sole custody of a 12 year old human female and she started her cycle so we have talked about things a lot. Someday if I can find the right voice, I can bring some hilarity to that topic, but I had her explaining to friends that hadn't started yet that for the next 40 years or so she would be laying an egg every month. When they told their moms about my kid laying eggs I got phone calls.
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
how do you guys feel about the name Wyatt for my unborn baby? too awesome?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Speaking of number 2, my wife and I agreed to watch our friend's son today as their daycare 'fell through'. He's my son's good friend and, I thought, a very easy kid to take care of.So being the good Griswold dad that I am, I took the family to Sauvie Island for a hike. The hike sucked. I should have figured that out when we got to the gate and saw about 35 plastic bags of dog crap piled up like some sort of deviant sacrifice to the god of feces. But I pressed on. "The hike promises tremendous views and plenty of wildflowers!"
Well, this 4 mile loop was absolute misery. About 2 miles in I was asked multiple times where the views were, or if the overgrown weeds were the flowers or why in the hell nobody else in the world was spotted on this hike. And then, it began to dump on us. Just buckets of rain. "Almost there, we can get their faster if we run!" It was here our son's friend informed me he needed to use the bathroom. No problem, I said. Piss right there. Or over there. Or hell, piss in a circle, there is nobody here to stop you. Do pee tricks you've always been afraid to try at home. "Uh, Forrest? I don't HAVE to pee..." "Oh, good, Ian. So you don't have to use the bathroom at all. Super, let's go!""Uh, I have to poop.""Ian, there's no where to poop. There's not even any logs to squat off of. Over there is a flooded river and over there is high grass full of bugs, snakes and all sorts of critters. Hell, there's not even any good leaves out here to use. You ever tried to wipe with a pine needle? You're gonna have to hold it, kid."So he agreed to hold it. And we crawled our way back to the car. And I promised to drive quickly to the nearest bathroom. We jumped into the car and then it hit me. 
Kid gambled on a fart and lost. Clenching hard, we sped away, windows down, rain pouring in and drove a few miles over a horrible dirt road with pot holes and bumps. Poor little dude was turning green. We found a Farmer's Market and pulled in. Fortunately, there was a row of port-a-potties there. Unfortunately, when Ian emerged from one of them FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER 
he came out with his much soiled underwear in his hands and bolted towards me. "WHOA, NO YOU DON'T! DROP THOSE RIGHT THERE!!!!!" He did and I picked them up with a stick and dropped them in the nearest trash can over his protest. "Those were my favorite pair of underwear!"...."Ian, I'll buy you a six pack of them. Those are going to underwear heaven. It's for your own good. It's for everybody's own good".After that, we had a nice picnic and then went and picked a bunch of strawberries.
gamera
Footballguy
Fixed.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Having a Kellen and a Cooper, I'm prohibited from making any comments on other people's kids' names. But armed with some experience, I can tell you that naming your child something that rhymes with "Pooper" or "Smellin" was probably not the wisest choice for boys...especially boys 19 months apart that argue constantly. Anything rhyme with Wyatt you can think of that would bother you down the road if he has any siblings?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
We looked at 11 more houses today. I liked 1 of them. But I like it so much I plan on putting an offer on it. It backs to some thick woods, there is a lot of privacy, a lot of kids, it's a good school district, there are two ponds right down the street and a neighborhood pool that looked like harbored several possible Mrs. SLB v. 2.0. It's a vacant estate sale that has been on the market for 100+ days and they are desperate to sell. Advantage, Burns!
Next time remember that socks aren't just for keeping your feet cozy warm and catching semen.
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
Wyatt Riot?Quiet Wyatt?is there an obvious one im missing?
Gadzooks
Footballguy
Speaking of number 2, my wife and I agreed to watch our friend's son today as their daycare 'fell through'. He's my son's good friend and, I thought, a very easy kid to take care of.So being the good Griswold dad that I am, I took the family to Sauvie Island for a hike. The hike sucked. I should have figured that out when we got to the gate and saw about 35 plastic bags of dog crap piled up like some sort of deviant sacrifice to the god of feces. But I pressed on. "The hike promises tremendous views and plenty of wildflowers!"
I love poop stories. "favorite pair of underwear" was my favorite part. I picture Ian looking like the fat kid in Stand By Me.
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
underwear heaven
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