desert rose
Footballguy
Brad> "I'm eating lunch with a hippo!"
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"The Bachelor" on ABC (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter azgroover
- Start date
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Either we find out Emily has AIDS next week or they should just call this #### now.
YSR
Footballguy
I don't know anymore. On his date with Chantal, he stressed how much he NEEDS spontaneity. He'll never be able to have that with Emily.However, Chantal didn't do herself any favors with those short jean shorts.
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Yeah, could be the ever-popular editing head fake.I don't know anymore. On his date with Chantal, he stressed how much he NEEDS spontaneity. He'll never be able to have that with Emily.However, Chantal didn't do herself any favors with those short jean shorts.
honky kong
Footballguy
Nope. If you'll notice, every week they've been trying to make it look like there is some big issue with Emily coming up and it never materializes. They are doing everything they can to keep some suspense here but she's been way out in front for weeks now. This thing is over and has been for a while.Looking t the 2 remaining womrn, it shouldn't even be a close call.But with Biff at the helm, I think it'll be
honky kong
Footballguy
There was so much funny going on during that sequence that I couldn't keep up.
Otis
Footballguy
The short shorts were amazing. That's a mighty big girl. I'm watching on tape delay. I'm assuming the little boy monkey Ashley is getting clipped tonight. She definitely should be. This date is a train wreck.But this was so easy to call. She should have been cut weeks ago. Why make this seem like a tough call?
identikit
Footballguy
We shall see.Nope. If you'll notice, every week they've been trying to make it look like there is some big issue with Emily coming up and it never materializes. They are doing everything they can to keep some suspense here but she's been way out in front for weeks now. This thing is over and has been for a while.Looking t the 2 remaining womrn, it shouldn't even be a close call.But with Biff at the helm, I think it'll be
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Fergie = Kristie Alley in 20 years
Da Guru
Fair & Balanced
Ashley has the shaved penciled in eyebrows..that is a deal breaker. Waking up in the morning to that look??
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Still think Chantal's hot.
-Chubby Chaser
-Chubby Chaser
SeveredHorseHeads
Footballguy
Chantal>Hey Koolaid!!!!
desert rose
Footballguy
Chantal reading card> "If you choose to forego the semblance of chastity, you may spend the night in the fantasy suite as a faux couple.."Brad> "So, I'm hoping you'll say yes."Chantal> "I don't even want to finish dinner! I think I'm falling in love with you, because I didn't even think about food just then."
honky kong
Footballguy
The only way she loses at this point is if she balks at moving to Austin, which I don't remember them discussing.
honky kong
Footballguy
Wow, good call.
honky kong
Footballguy
AwesomeJames Daulton
Footballguy
Did anybody count the number of times Barbie brought up Rick-The Dead Husband last night? I don't care how hot she is, the way she keeps infusing either hot wheels or barbie baby into every thought and conversation with Bif would have me running for the fatty. At least with her, you'll get a couple of good weeks in before she explodes. Barbie is entirely devoid of personality and still hung up on a ghost.
honky kong
Footballguy
I think she was referring to her daughter all those times, not her ghost. They apparently have the same name.
James Daulton
Footballguy
The ghost and baby barbie do have the same name, but she was definately referring to the ghost on a number of occasions, like "the ghost really taught me how to love" and "i've never opened myself up to anyone since the ghost."
koby925
Footballguy
"This is my daugther Ricky."
"Oh, Ricky, that's such an interesting name for a little girl."
"Yes well she's named after her father...who died in a tragic plane accident...and was from one of the richest families in the US...and her Mom isn't still fully over all that...but they're with me now."
Just sayin for those who think Emily is a slam dunk. This situation is not for everyone. I don't know if I could've done it.
"Oh, Ricky, that's such an interesting name for a little girl."
"Yes well she's named after her father...who died in a tragic plane accident...and was from one of the richest families in the US...and her Mom isn't still fully over all that...but they're with me now."
Just sayin for those who think Emily is a slam dunk. This situation is not for everyone. I don't know if I could've done it.
Third
Footballguy
Ashley was infuriating last night. I think she and Brad both really liked each other, but they are SO bad at communicating it never had a chance. For the first time ever, I was actually sympathetic to Biff as he tried to get Ashley to answer a few questions. But she couldn't (or maybe didn't want to...not sure) give him the right answers, so she got mad, put up the hard shell, and curled up into a ball. She just gave up. I really do think Biff wanted to pick her over Chantal and tried to salvage at the end, but Ashley had thrown in the towel.
It's now obvious this entire season has been about editing to give the appearance someone other than Emily has a chance.
It's now obvious this entire season has been about editing to give the appearance someone other than Emily has a chance.
Thread Killer
Footballguy
OH COME ON!!! Yes, homegirl's thick. But "mighty big"?? Wake up.The short shorts were amazing. That's a mighty big girl.
Thread Killer
Footballguy
I'm lovin the size 34 daisy dukes.
Thread Killer
Footballguy
I'll kill you both!
Thread Killer
Footballguy
I'll kill you both!
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
I'm glad someone else has the courage to defend this young woman.I'm lovin the size 34 daisy dukes.
koby925
Footballguy
Classic immature responses that many early 20 something girls give. Oh our connection and the fact that we have fun with each other will conquer all. Why talk about serious issues. I know the other girls are the same age but they have more life experience maturity than Ashley. Biff and Ashley were too different in age/experience and timing.
3 out of 5
Footballguy
To be fair, how many times did Emily say "Oh my goodness gracious" while on the elephant?
Stinkin Ref
IBL Representative
probably about the same 4 minutes in the fantasy suite.....
Gr00vus
Footballguy
This guy's a stump. He deserves to spend eternity with whichever of blimpie or princess boring and hung up on dead nascar guy he chooses. Or he's a great actor. I've been treating this show as a comedy, and the laughs just keep coming.
Also, despite her other problems, Ashley H has fantastic legs.
Also, despite her other problems, Ashley H has fantastic legs.
Incogneto
Footballguy
BINGO!
Slider6
Footballguy
I wish he would have just called it the Stabbin Cabin! I kept waiting, but he never did.
Bob Loblaw
Footballguy
don't forget all the knuckle cracking. i've got some nervous ticks, but this dude is outta control. later in the episode after the rose ceremony started, he checked his cufflinks way too much. Also, I'm a fan of Chantal O.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
I believe this is the correct spelling.
Third
Footballguy
I love how he gives each girl the card and acts like they have no idea what it is. They've done what...15 seasons of this show with the fantasy suite routine?
I also love that the card is signed from Chris Harrison. Chris, you temptress, you.
honky kong
Footballguy
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
He's representing the FFA at a "Bachelor" conference in Baltimore this week.
Zow
Footballguy
Do they not have internet in Baltimore?He's representing the FFA at a "Bachelor" conference in Baltimore this week.
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
No, they don't.Do they not have internet in Baltimore?He's representing the FFA at a "Bachelor" conference in Baltimore this week.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Sorry I'm tardy with this entry.. I wanted to let the show wash over me like a spring shower. I feel cleansed and rejuvenated, but to be perfectly honest, dear reader, this last episode was a bit of a dud. I can only work with the material provided, and you know I'll do my absolute damnedest to make this work for both of us, but the incredible journey that we've both been on has been a little less incredible lately. Still, 50% incredible is a pretty good ride, and we owe it to ourselves, to Brad, to see this through. I really truly believe that.
Venue
South Africa is probably the ideal setting for these overnight dates. Since no one left has much to bring to the table, we can at least marvel at the amazing prehensile dexterity of pachyderms, the familial instincts of lions on the plain, and monkeys picking insects of each others' butts. This whole affair seemed like an extended ad for The Lion King (2-disc Special Platinum edition available on DVD and BluRay), but that's absurd right? Oh look, Pumbaa!
I think a lot of us burned out on South Africa with the World Cup. We get it: it's a beautiful place. It also leads the world in armored car heists, gave us the vuvuzela, and has a "regrettable" record with race relations, so let's not get carried away here.
Brad is all excited about going to Cape Town next week, and I will bet you both of my kidneys he had never heard of that city prior to the producers informing him they'd be going there. Yet somehow, it's one of his favorite cities.. that he's yet to visit. When is the last time you remember someone telling you about how they desperately dream of traveling to Cape Town? One of the many fascinating aspects of this show is how the ladies seem to think that Brad is the brilliant mastermind behind the show's planning and execution. Yes, girls, he's not only the principal talent on the show, but he's also executive producer, prop master, and gaffer. Oh, and he bankrolled this whole thing too by peddling nachos and Tecate. What's even more interesting is that Brad has gleefully accepted any and all praise related to these dates. At one point Emily exclaimed, "this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me... in years" (making sure not to trump the dead guy) referring to an intimate date setup in a barn or something. Emily would probably be crushed to know that a 20 year old intern named Suzy was behind the whole thing. At some point you figure Brad should be equally grateful for these opportunities, but he seems to relish in the illusion that he's some international playboy with an endless bank account and contacts. "I've taken you to Vegas, Costa Rica, Anguilla..."
Chantal
The only question anyone truly cared about was "I wonder how fat Chantal is?" ABC must have read our collective minds because they trotted her out in jorts! Stunning fashion choice, and in Africa, no less. They may not even be familiar with jort technology over there yet. To be fair, I think she held steady from last week's show, but we had a LOT more data on the MiG this time. I can't say that Chantal stole my heart the moment I saw her generous rump clad in denim, but I wasn't looking away either, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The one and only story line of any consequence this season has been Chantal's interaction with the earth's gravitational field, and I think that will thankfully continue into the finale. Can Brad embrace Chantal's ever-fluctuating size? Can the generous mams save the day? This is why we tune in every week.
It's at this point that I must admit that the show has no more appeal as a reality show competition. There is zero mystery who Brad is going to pick. All signs say Chantal, and I probably need to devote some precious internet space to why this is happening. Clearly, Brad is a simple man who has simple, some would say "linear," thoughts. None of these women are an intellectual challenge of any sort, and none of them are terribly interesting in any appreciable way. We've seen Brad winnow down the contenders to girls that will do virtually anything he says and thank him for the honor. Chantal, in my mind, epitomizes this. She's a composite of every sorority girl on the earth ever. You can almost hear the hamster wheel turning in her head. She's probably never had to stress about anything more consequential than split ends. She's nice to look at, probably still gets an allowance, and is throwing herself head first into the deep end at the Brad Aquatic Center. Brad needs validation, a LOT of validation, and someone with the loyalty of a house pet, and what do you know.. here's Chantal dutifully panting at his side wagging her prodigious tail. Throw in that her dad is the Mike O'Brien, #1 car guy of the Pacific Northwest, and it was basically over after the Seattle trip. I hope that none of you have illusions of Emily winning. Please tell me you're not holding out hope for that. I want us all on the same page here.
So what more did we learn about Chantal that we didn't know before? I've got to be honest, I'm really struggling to think of anything. Chantal is the kind of person you stereotype within five minutes of meeting her, and then are disappointed you were exactly right about everything you suspected. She's your dream girl when you were 19. So much fun, follows you around, writes you little notes, cries all the time. Then we remember that this girl has been married before and is 28. This girl is immature by high school standards. There are children half her age with more life experience, depth, perspective, and command of English than Chantal. The girl has never aspired to or wanted for anything in her life. Perfect, wrap her up, and put a bow on her. Emily is perpetually engaged to a dead guy, Whatshername wants to be a dentist (a dentist!), and here's Chantal ready to move in with you. Just tell her when and where.
Something that has been bugging me more and more with Chantal is her voice. I don't know what kind of accent that is (can't be a Seattle thing, can it?), but the long-e vowels are really grating, as is the nasal thing she's got going on. Can you imagine that whining at you all day? "Braaaaad.. I'm hungreeey. Braaaaad.. I need moneeeey. Braaaad, I'm hungreeey.. again." :shudder: Then again, she's probably going to get sick of him saying "I love you, I really do" or "we need groceries; I'm 100% serious about that" or "there's no toilet paper; I looked twice, I really did" or "I'm being completely honest and forthright with you when I say that I would like you to pass the pepper."
To be continued...
Venue
South Africa is probably the ideal setting for these overnight dates. Since no one left has much to bring to the table, we can at least marvel at the amazing prehensile dexterity of pachyderms, the familial instincts of lions on the plain, and monkeys picking insects of each others' butts. This whole affair seemed like an extended ad for The Lion King (2-disc Special Platinum edition available on DVD and BluRay), but that's absurd right? Oh look, Pumbaa!
I think a lot of us burned out on South Africa with the World Cup. We get it: it's a beautiful place. It also leads the world in armored car heists, gave us the vuvuzela, and has a "regrettable" record with race relations, so let's not get carried away here.
Brad is all excited about going to Cape Town next week, and I will bet you both of my kidneys he had never heard of that city prior to the producers informing him they'd be going there. Yet somehow, it's one of his favorite cities.. that he's yet to visit. When is the last time you remember someone telling you about how they desperately dream of traveling to Cape Town? One of the many fascinating aspects of this show is how the ladies seem to think that Brad is the brilliant mastermind behind the show's planning and execution. Yes, girls, he's not only the principal talent on the show, but he's also executive producer, prop master, and gaffer. Oh, and he bankrolled this whole thing too by peddling nachos and Tecate. What's even more interesting is that Brad has gleefully accepted any and all praise related to these dates. At one point Emily exclaimed, "this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me... in years" (making sure not to trump the dead guy) referring to an intimate date setup in a barn or something. Emily would probably be crushed to know that a 20 year old intern named Suzy was behind the whole thing. At some point you figure Brad should be equally grateful for these opportunities, but he seems to relish in the illusion that he's some international playboy with an endless bank account and contacts. "I've taken you to Vegas, Costa Rica, Anguilla..."
Chantal
The only question anyone truly cared about was "I wonder how fat Chantal is?" ABC must have read our collective minds because they trotted her out in jorts! Stunning fashion choice, and in Africa, no less. They may not even be familiar with jort technology over there yet. To be fair, I think she held steady from last week's show, but we had a LOT more data on the MiG this time. I can't say that Chantal stole my heart the moment I saw her generous rump clad in denim, but I wasn't looking away either, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The one and only story line of any consequence this season has been Chantal's interaction with the earth's gravitational field, and I think that will thankfully continue into the finale. Can Brad embrace Chantal's ever-fluctuating size? Can the generous mams save the day? This is why we tune in every week.
It's at this point that I must admit that the show has no more appeal as a reality show competition. There is zero mystery who Brad is going to pick. All signs say Chantal, and I probably need to devote some precious internet space to why this is happening. Clearly, Brad is a simple man who has simple, some would say "linear," thoughts. None of these women are an intellectual challenge of any sort, and none of them are terribly interesting in any appreciable way. We've seen Brad winnow down the contenders to girls that will do virtually anything he says and thank him for the honor. Chantal, in my mind, epitomizes this. She's a composite of every sorority girl on the earth ever. You can almost hear the hamster wheel turning in her head. She's probably never had to stress about anything more consequential than split ends. She's nice to look at, probably still gets an allowance, and is throwing herself head first into the deep end at the Brad Aquatic Center. Brad needs validation, a LOT of validation, and someone with the loyalty of a house pet, and what do you know.. here's Chantal dutifully panting at his side wagging her prodigious tail. Throw in that her dad is the Mike O'Brien, #1 car guy of the Pacific Northwest, and it was basically over after the Seattle trip. I hope that none of you have illusions of Emily winning. Please tell me you're not holding out hope for that. I want us all on the same page here.
So what more did we learn about Chantal that we didn't know before? I've got to be honest, I'm really struggling to think of anything. Chantal is the kind of person you stereotype within five minutes of meeting her, and then are disappointed you were exactly right about everything you suspected. She's your dream girl when you were 19. So much fun, follows you around, writes you little notes, cries all the time. Then we remember that this girl has been married before and is 28. This girl is immature by high school standards. There are children half her age with more life experience, depth, perspective, and command of English than Chantal. The girl has never aspired to or wanted for anything in her life. Perfect, wrap her up, and put a bow on her. Emily is perpetually engaged to a dead guy, Whatshername wants to be a dentist (a dentist!), and here's Chantal ready to move in with you. Just tell her when and where.
Something that has been bugging me more and more with Chantal is her voice. I don't know what kind of accent that is (can't be a Seattle thing, can it?), but the long-e vowels are really grating, as is the nasal thing she's got going on. Can you imagine that whining at you all day? "Braaaaad.. I'm hungreeey. Braaaaad.. I need moneeeey. Braaaad, I'm hungreeey.. again." :shudder: Then again, she's probably going to get sick of him saying "I love you, I really do" or "we need groceries; I'm 100% serious about that" or "there's no toilet paper; I looked twice, I really did" or "I'm being completely honest and forthright with you when I say that I would like you to pass the pepper."
To be continued...
Last edited by a moderator:
Third
Footballguy
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
:slowclapintoraucousapplause:
Thread Killer
Footballguy
F5 F5 F5 
Thread Killer
Footballguy
Those D's must be fun as hell to play with. Ashley's A's never had a chance.
Gr00vus
Footballguy
I'm assuming there was some product placement happening (though I have no idea who the manufacturer might be), as it seemed to me that the three women all wore the same model shorts, just in different colors, on the first part of their dates. I find it hard to believe that was coincidence, particularly in stay puft's case - her legs looked like oatmeal stuffed into sausage casings. The good news is the sound of her jiggling cellulite may have served as an aural mosquito repellent when they stayed in the fantasy tree house.
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