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Do you and your spouse have joint or separate bank accounts? (1 Viewer)

How do you and your spouse handle finances?

  • Joint account and no separate accounts (exception: "small" accounts holding $5k or less for side mon

    Votes: 153 68.6%

  • Joint account AND large separate accounts (paychecks go into separate accounts)

    Votes: 29 13.0%

  • Only separate accounts (my paycheck in my account and spouse's paycheck in spouse's account)

    Votes: 34 15.2%

  • Other

    Votes: 7 3.1%
  • Total voters
    223
gianmarco

gianmarco

Footballguy
I swear I learn some things here in threads that I never knew were so common. 

For those of you that are married, do you have a main joint account or do you just keep separate accounts?  If you have separate accounts, what is the purpose of it?

My wife and I have had a joint account ever since we got married (and actually started before once we knew we were getting married).  Our paychecks go into it and our mortgage/bills/credit cards get paid by it.  I don't even understand the purpose of separate accounts unless I was really trying to hide money (which is pretty common here, I suppose). 

I keep some cash on the side for things like going to a casino every once in a while or picking up a gift for her or whatever but even that isn't some huge secret (nor is it some significant amount).

My paycheck is our paycheck.  Her paycheck is our paycheck.  Bills are our bills.  I guess I don't understand the concept of married with separate finances but another thread seems to show that it's a common thing?  Maybe I'm lucky my wife doesn't just go spending money like crazy?  I mean, when I've gotten a check or something from friends for whatever reason, I think I've always seen joint names on it and just assumed virtually all married couples just have one main account they use and deposit into.

 
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We only had a joint account for years until she started a realty business.  We need to keep that separate.  I have other accounts to hide certain monies.  

 
Binky The Doormat said:
We only had a joint account for years until she started a realty business.  We need to keep that separate.  I have other accounts to hide certain monies.  
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I can certainly understand a separate business account if it's your wife's business and she operates it.

 
John Bender said:
Separate - she can shop for whatever she wants without complaints from me.  I can gamble like a degen without any complaints from here.
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So who pays for the mortgage?  Utility bills?  Insurance?  Car?  Do you divvy things up like roommates?

This is so strange and foreign to me.

 
gianmarco said:
So who pays for the mortgage?  Utility bills?  Insurance?  Car?  Do you divvy things up like roommates?

This is so strange and foreign to me.
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I write her a check every month.  Since I make a bit more, I pick up the tab for most big house repairs to balance things out.

I dunno, 6 years together and it's always worked for us. If she needs money, I'll give it to her and vice versa (but that's never happened).

ETA - we got married in our mid 30s.  And lived alone without much family so are intensely independent people as that's how we've learned to be throughout our 20s.  I'm sure that factors in.

 
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You're asking what's the purpose of separate accounts, but what's the purpose of a joint account? I'm assuming when you got together you had separate accounts, why did you choose to create a new joint account? We just kept our own separate accounts that we've always had. I don't really see the need for a joint account. 

 
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Moe. said:
You're asking what's the purpose of singie life but what's the purpose of a marriage? I'm assuming when you got together you had single lives, why did you choose to create a marriage? We just kept our own singie lives that we've always had. I don't really see the need for a marriage. 
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Moe. said:
You're asking what's the purpose of separate accounts, but what's the purpose of a joint accounts? I'm assuming when you got together you had separate accounts, why did you choose to create a new joint account? We just kept our own separate accounts that we've always had. I don't really see the need for a joint account. 
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Plenty of reasons:

1) Commitment -- What we each do provides for our lives and home together. It doesn't matter who brings in more because it's all ours.

2) All bills are paid from one account. Much easier to track overall finances of what comes in and what comes out.

3) Future planning and retirement. It's a joint venture. I wouldn't want to worry that my wife isn't saving enough for retirement. Or for our kid's education, future, etc.

4) I would feel so strange figuring out who picks up dinner or who pays for cable or anything like that. I did that with roommates or girlfriends when I was younger. 

5) No secrets. No reason to hide anything from her and vice versa. If I ever got to that point, I feel I'd have much bigger problems in our marriage.

6) Filing taxes and other financial issues are easy dealing with one account overall. We both have access to our money for whatever. And we discuss any major spending. Otherwise, I couldn't care less if she goes shopping for something and same from her.

Maybe it's just me but I have a hard time envisioning doing it another way.

 
And I mean, if it works for you guys, have at it. I just find it difficult to understand how people that choose to spend the rest of their lives together would keep something as major as finances a separate venture. 

I ask my buddies who's picking up the dinner tab. That discussion with my wife would feel so awkward.

 
Joint account but she’s a stay at home mom so she isn’t contributing an income 

before we had kids we did have a joint account and I handled all the finances

i think if both work the separate accounts is the way to go, do what you want, no questions asked, or have a joint account to cover bills and necessities and like 25% of your check going to a separate account 

 
We each have separate accounts and one joint account with one bank (credit union we have used for 25+ years but with no local branch) and a joint account in another bank (with a local branch).

Not sure why we keep separate accounts anymore, we just do. No real reason. No one's balancing a checkbook around here...  :moneybag:

 
gianmarco said:
Plenty of reasons:

1) Commitment -- What we each do provides for our lives and home together. It doesn't matter who brings in more because it's all ours.

2) All bills are paid from one account. Much easier to track overall finances of what comes in and what comes out.

3) Future planning and retirement. It's a joint venture. I wouldn't want to worry that my wife isn't saving enough for retirement. Or for our kid's education, future, etc.

4) I would feel so strange figuring out who picks up dinner or who pays for cable or anything like that. I did that with roommates or girlfriends when I was younger. 

5) No secrets. No reason to hide anything from her and vice versa. If I ever got to that point, I feel I'd have much bigger problems in our marriage.

6) Filing taxes and other financial issues are easy dealing with one account overall. We both have access to our money for whatever. And we discuss any major spending. Otherwise, I couldn't care less if she goes shopping for something and same from her.

Maybe it's just me but I have a hard time envisioning doing it another way.
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Fair enough. I'm 33, we've only been married since  March 2017 (we lived together for four years before we got married) so maybe things will change for us in the future. Also we make just about the same amount of money, so maybe that makes it easier. I completely agree on the importance of numbers 1,3, and 5 above but you can still have that stuff with separate checking accounts. 

I probably pay "more" than she does monthly because the mortgage comes from my account but since #1 is true for us as well we're not concerned with it being even. 

 
gianmarco said:
And I mean, if it works for you guys, have at it. I just find it difficult to understand how people that choose to spend the rest of their lives together would keep something as major as finances a separate venture. 

I ask my buddies who's picking up the dinner tab. That discussion with my wife would feel so awkward.
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From my perspective though separate bank accounts does not mean the same thing as separate finances. Does that make sense?

 
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John Bender said:
Separate - she can shop for whatever she wants without complaints from me.  I can gamble like a degen without any complaints from her.  (we both make enough individually to support our lifestyles).  It's harmonious 
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We have this, but that accounts are joint with separate sub accounts.

 
Joint account which she never looks at, never pays bills, has only a vague idea of what we have or how everything is invested. 

She has a PayPal account for her hobbies, both selling and buying.

 
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gianmarco said:
2) All bills are paid from one account. Much easier to track overall finances of what comes in and what comes out.

4) I would feel so strange figuring out who picks up dinner or who pays for cable or anything like that. I did that with roommates or girlfriends when I was younger. 
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We have a joint account that we setup automatic transfers of $X per month for these type of expenses.
We also have separate accounts for the remainder where we spend or save however we see fit.

 
joint savings and then separate for paying billls and buying the #### we need.

Wife dont work she gets a portion of my check into her account to pay for groceries, a handful of bills, etc.  I get the same into my account to pay for bills.. Rest goes into savings, and any money I make gambling goes into another account.. She has a super secret account too, but I just contribute a small amout to her so its not in her regualr savings for when she needs to dip into it. 

 
Moe. said:
From my perspective though separate bank accounts does not mean the same thing as separate finances. Does that make sense?
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Perfect sense.  We have one joint savings account and each have our own checking accounts linked to the savings account.

We manage our own money, each of us is responsible for certain bills, and figuring out who pays for dinner isnt ever awkward(mostly always me).

 
Have separate accounts and we both split big ticket items just the way we have always done it for 20+ years. Both have good jobs, separate insurance, separate 401k's, investments that we talk about. Finances are all intertwined however with mortgages, various bills etc. We don't really pay attention to how small stuff is paid for. We have never argued about money, finances. Until there is some change in lifestyle I'm not messing with it.

 
We have separate joint accounts.  We are both on our 2nd marriage and her ex was terrible with money and pretty much left the account dry so when we first met and got married she was very guarded of her account.  It works well for us, My paychecks go in "my" account, her paychecks go in "her" account.  She pays certain bills every month and I pay certain bills every month.  We are both authorized to sign on both accounts and both have a debit card for each account but rarely use the "others" account.  We both have online access to each account so we can both see what is in each account at any time.  

 
Joint account.

Been giving my wife my paycheck since we moved in together 15 years ago. All of our money is OUR money. Never have had a fight about money.

Don't care how much we have as long as we are tracking toward a decent retirement. Which we are.

Too much else to worry about than dough.

 
Separate accounts, married in our 30s, she pays the health insurance I pay the mortgage that's still in her maiden name. We evened out the bills she pays and the ones I pay. She spends her money on what she wants. I spend mine on what I want. Not a single money argument! When we go out I pay. 

 
Joint.  She is an NP and I make ~2.5x more than her.  See no reason for separate.

Eta-we are both 37

 
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Everything is joint and she has no clue what is where. I manage everything. It's all in a google shared doc so if I kick it she can access the info but it will take her weeks to figure it all out. 

We agreed on a budget and when I tell her we are nearing the limit she stops spending on all non essentials til the next month. 

Once per year (usually winter post tax return) we reassess our situation and what we want to accomplish that year then reset the budget. 

 
We have a joint account and never considered any other option when we got married nearly 25 years ago.  But the concept of separate accounts seems reasonable to me as well.  One of the married couples I know have individual checking accounts with direct deposit into each account - totally separate.  He makes much more than her and pays all the bills out of his checking account... her account is for her spending.  Another couple friends have the more "traditional" separate account approach where they each have separate / distinct checking accounts with one shared main account... both parties fund the main account and all the bills are paid from the main/shared account.

Any of these options could actually work for my wife and I because we think of the money as OUR money.  She can spend pretty much whatever she wants because she's reasonable about it and stays within the budget and I'm the same.  That wouldn't change if we were each spending money from separate accounts or from the same account like we do now.  

\

 
Joint as that is what works for us. Seems to me it’s the way to do it in a marriage. 

But, I totally acknowledge separate works for some and is more common than you think. 

 
We have joint everything. I spend what I want. She spends what she wants. There are some times where I’ll say we need to scale back but for the most part there’s never a problem. 

I agree with you GB. I find it bizarre when I hear a couple say “you owe me for the mortgage”.

 
We have a joint checking and joint savings account plus we each have our own savings account.

Deposits into the individual savings accounts are the same for both of us. We make roughly equal money now but it’s always been that way even when one of us made more than the other. 

Household expenses come out of the joint checking account. Personal expenditures come out of our individual savings accounts. I don’t care how much she spends on haircuts or pedicures or shoes or whatever. She doesn’t care how much I spend on golf or golf balls or golf clubs. I don’t tell her about the hookers and blow. 

It works for us. 

 
Dezbelief said:
Separate accounts, married in our 30s, she pays the health insurance I pay the mortgage that's still in her maiden name. We evened out the bills she pays and the ones I pay. She spends her money on what she wants. I spend mine on what I want. Not a single money argument! When we go out I pay. 
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Separate accounts as well. Dez situation is pretty similar to us just different break downs of what each pays for. I basically pay all the major bills and she pays for the groceries and her vehicle payment. But that percentage breakdown is also similar to our incomes.

i have the insurance and my own 401k she has her retirement as well. I have separate account for kids education that I move some of our tax return into each year.

I agree we have never argued about money or spending. I might tell her to stop buying the kids toys but I wouldn’t call that an arguement more of a request as our garage is starting to look like a Toys R Us blowout sale. 

 
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We direct deposit into our individual savings accounts and then move the  :moneybag:  we need for bills into a joint checking account.  It’s been working great for years.

 
gianmarco said:
So who pays for the mortgage?  Utility bills?  Insurance?  Car?  Do you divvy things up like roommates?

This is so strange and foreign to me.
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My wife and I have the checking accounts we had before we got married. But we put each other's names on them so we have access. We live in separate condos during her school year and together in mine during the summer. So I pay my mortgage, utilities, etc. and she pays hers. She has a car and I don't, so she pays for that. We have a joint savings account that we both deposit money into each month.

 
gianmarco said:
And I mean, if it works for you guys, have at it. I just find it difficult to understand how people that choose to spend the rest of their lives together would keep something as major as finances a separate venture. 

I ask my buddies who's picking up the dinner tab. That discussion with my wife would feel so awkward.
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We have a joint credit card that we use for daily expenses.

 
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We've had one large joint account our whole marriage (34 years) where all bills/mortgages are paid.  I have a separate account with less than 20K in it for sort of a slush fund for stuff (golf stuff/trips, cigars, booze purchases, incidentals that I want to pick up).  She knows about it and is free to use it if needed.  I don't have any of our pay check or any other allotment going to it.  Just deposit some in it here and there.  I have a debit card tied to that as well as my paypal acct.  

 
Ha we had only a joint account when first married. I quickly realized I'm the more responsible one. Now we have a joint account that her check funds and I have my own for my check. I pay for all of the household bills but she pays for food and gas so this works well. This also means I have a debit card for all the accounts and she only has one for her's. 

 
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