Since Joe and some others came here a week ago to talk us off the ledge after the last couple weeks of things spiraling downward and assure us everything will be fine:
- Slay underwent surprise knee surgery and is out for at least a few weeks
- Starting RG Cam Johnston was declared out for SEA
- Starting LB Zach Cunningham was declared out for SEA
- Big Dom was banned from the sidelines for the season
- Anonymous quotes from the locker room came out criticizing the offense's game plans and play calls
- The secondary asked to do their own scouting for SEA, instead of taking scouting reports from the staff
- Our DC was "quiet fired" and the team hoped no one would notice
- Our new DC has a reputation for being good via Belichick shine but has never had a top 10 D and most recently put up Sean Desai numbers for 3 seasons as HC in DET
- Hurts got so sick leading up to the game that they downgraded him to questionable and vacuum sealed him in a sterile plane to ship him to SEA
Kudos for pulling off a masterful reverse jinx, fellas