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44 year old idiot gets into first fist fight - CORRECTION- runs into fist - "goal" debate settled - Studs&Duds chimes in - lawyers muck up another thr (1 Viewer)

Jayrod

Footballguy
So about two months ago, I got into an incident and it may have been one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I had wanted to get a workout in and had my son with me.  I took him to a local city run rec center where I have a punch card for 15 visits (not actually a member).  My son is 15 and plays football and basketball in HS so he wanted to get some work in as well.  After lifting weights, we went down to the basketball court where there were about 35 people shooting/playing because I just like to shoot baskets as my cardio workout (HATE treadmills/ellipticals/etc.).  It was crowded and the vast majority were kids.  On one half, a 5 on 5 full court game was going on with older kids and a few 20-30 something yr olds.  My son and I went to the other half just to shoot around and there were about 20+ people shooting on 3 goals, mostly young teens.

After a few minutes, I was shooting between multiple goals and two older teens/younger 20 somethings asked if I could let them have a goal to play 1 on 1.  I looked around and said "sorry, but no" because that would leave only 2 goals for the other 20 of us.  That's when things got stupid. The two start just berating me, calling me names like "b*tch *ss **gg*r" and threatening me.  I just laughed at them and said I'm not letting you have this goal all to yourselves.  Sorry, but you don't get to bully everyone else into letting you have your way. Now I'm 44 yrs old, 6-2" and about 220 lbs and in good shape as I lift 2x's per week and still play ball weekly.  These two were around 5-10" and 160 each and somewhere between 17-22 yrs old.  They looked really young to me, but had tats/gold teeth that indicated possibly older.  I just couldn't tell for sure.  My son thought they were in their 20's.

It continued and they then started saying crap about meeting me in the parking lot and I just laughed at them and said "OK, kid, whatever". I made sure to call them "kid" over and over to hammer home what I thought of them.  I decided to let it go and while I didn't "agree" to let them have the goal, I avoided it for a good bit while they played 1 on 1.  After about 5-10 minutes they stop playing and start talking to some dude in the middle of the court, so I thought they were done and started shooting on their goal again.  One of them threatens me again to get off the court again and I ignored him.  But it looked like they weren't actually done, but had just paused to talk, so I moved away to another goal again to let them resume and went back to shooting on one of the crowded goals.

Then things got nuts.  I took a long shot on the other goal, but my ball ricocheted to their goal.  The mouthiest of the two, saw it, grabbed it and threw it down to the other end of the court.  At this point, I saw a whole lot of red.  My son saw my face and later said he knew something was going to happen.  In a rage, I ran at the kid.  He was holding their ball and my brilliant plan was to take his ball from him and make him go get mine or he wasn't getting it back.  However, as soon as I got within range, he punched me right in the nose.  I stopped there and blood starts gushing out of my nose.  My son and several other bystanders coming running in real quick and this kid's eyes are as big as pancakes while my son is just saying "let's go dad!" I stare the kid down for a minute or so yelling "what the heck is wrong with you!" with blood just dripping all over the court and I'm pretty sure all 30+ people are staring at us, but things were so intense at that point I don't remember much.

All I could think about was that I didn't know how old he was and I didn't need to do something stupid and get an assault of a minor charge.  So, blood dripping everywhere, I just waved my hands at them and walked off toward the lockerrooms.  On my way, I stopped off at the front desk and told them a kid just punched me in the nose, and asked for a towel (gave me brown paper towels), and gave them a brief account.  They told me they would need to file a report and asked for a description of the person who did it.

Finally I get the blood stopped and come out, and they have the kid there and then ask me if I want to file a report (while indicating they clearly didn't want to deal with it).  I said I really didn't want to because I didn't feel like staying there for 20 minutes while waiting for a Park Ranger (it's run by the Parks Dept and they are considered law officers) and talking about the incident over and over and have anything come back to me about this later in life.  Not sure I did anything wrong, but didn't feel like finding out if someone would somehow blame me because I ran toward the kid in a threatening manner.  We stand around and I go on a rant about the "punk kid trying to bully everyone" and how it is just ridiculous and rude to expect everyone to get out of your way when there are 30 people trying to shoot baskets.  He then said "I just asked you to leave the court" and I went on another rant about how when you try to force someone to do what you want that's not asking, that's bullying and its bull#### and that if you actually "ask" someone then they can say no.  He didn't say another word.

Anyway, my son and I finally just left.  I didn't visit the place again for over a month and I'm pretty sure they have no idea who I am or what my name is because when I checked in they just hole punched my card and never took any info.

Part of me is relieved that is all that happened, but then sometimes I get irate at the idea that this kid may have just gotten off with no punishment for trying to bully and threaten me and punching me in the face. He probably thinks he is some badass and he and his friends just laugh about that dumb old guy they punked. But my life is going good and no need to F it up with some stupid incident against some kid who may or may not be a minor, so I'm probably lucky nothing more happened.

TLDR; got into an argument at a rec center over which basket I could shoot on and got punched in the nose by a kid who may or may not have been a minor and left without further incident or filing a report.

 
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Beef Ravioli

Footballguy
Sounds like you handled it pretty well accept the running at him part. Good on you for not retaliating. 
 

I was getting frustrated with the punks reading your account but you did well. He will learn his lesson well one of these days, it just might cost him more than he wants to pay.

 

nysfl2

Footballguy
I would have filed the report. Even if you didn't pursue it further, the idiot would have had to sweat it out for a few weeks until it was official.

 

Jayrod

Footballguy
Sounds like you handled it pretty well accept the running at him part. Good on you for not retaliating. 
 

I was getting frustrated with the punks reading your account but you did well. He will learn his lesson well one of these days, it just might cost him more than he wants to pay.
It was the craziest scene.  They seemed like they were trying to act all hard like gang-bangers or something, but we were at a freaking rec center on a Sunday afternoon.  It wasn't some outdoor hoop in the hood.  When they started threatening me, I was just laughing because 1) I am about as big as both of them put together and 2) we were surrounded by mostly Jr High kids.

 

Zow

Footballguy
Maybe it is because I am a referee.  The entire rule book calls it a goal.
I know. I recall that from reading the rules, too. But it's still just weird to read. It's a basket or a hoop to everybody else. 

 

Zow

Footballguy
I've thought about it way too often.  I'm actually a little afraid how it would go if I ever got to that point as in would I be able to stop myself if I was ever mad enough to start.
Putting the "goal" issue aside, sounds like you did the right thing other than the weird move of running at the kid (from a purely legal perspective, his subsequent action of throwing a punch may be justified if you truly did aggressively run at him and you're twice his size). But kudos to you for being the bigger man and walking away. Simply for your son's sake, I'm glad he got to see you model that behavior for him rather than effectively getting into an actual fistfight with a younger, smaller guy. 

Some times in life it's just not worth standing up to a bully. 

 

massraider

Footballguy
I've thought about it way too often.  I'm actually a little afraid how it would go if I ever got to that point as in would I be able to stop myself if I was ever mad enough to start.
At our age, you'll get tired before you able to kill someone. 

For real. 95% of society can't go two rounds

 

rockaction

Footballguy
Did I ever tell you that I lost my front teeth standing up to a guy trying to mug me and steal from me? 

Man, I wish I had those teeth. I mean, I have a nice bridge, but it's not gonna last me until I'm eighty. I'm going to have to put ten more grand in my mouth by the time it's all done. Can't get implants. Too much bone loss. 

I've thought long and hard about getting in fights since then. Last one I almost got in, some young punk was doing something similar to me that they were to you. Only this time the knives came out, and I decided not to be a hero, got in my car, and sped away. 

 

Chris B.

Footballguy
If it was that crowded, I would have went home.
When you wrestle with pigs, you get dirty... or whatever the saying is...

 

Hastur

Footballguy
"Sorry, but no" made it confrontational.  A better way, especially since they were young and not understanding the situation(2 goals for 30 people), would probably have been "That would make it 2 goals for 30+ people.  Seems a little unfair, doesn't it"?

 

Zow

Footballguy
Goal?

Should have filed the report. Should have had the kid arrested. 
If he truly did, as he describes, "run at the kid" in a "rage" the kid was probably acting in self-defense and, at least legally, the punch was justified.*

*Note: I obviously don't know the exact self-defense laws of the OP's state, but given just the facts as described the kid was probably legally justified in the assaultive action. 

 

Stealthycat

Footballguy
clearly ya'll aint played much ball

yes - they're called goal, like, for 40 years they've been called that

I am surprised you didn't punch back but that said, having a fist to the nose gets a person's attention - you should have filed a police report IMO

 

massraider

Footballguy
Did I ever tell you that I lost my front teeth standing up to a guy trying to mug me and steal from me? 

Man, I wish I had those teeth. I mean, I have a nice bridge, but it's not gonna last me until I'm eighty. I'm going to have to put ten more grand in my mouth by the time it's all done. Can't get implants. Too much bone loss. 

I've thought long and hard about getting in fights since then. Last one I almost got in, some young punk was doing something similar to me that they were to you. Only this time the knives came out, and I decided not to be a hero, got in my car, and sped away. 
First real fight was in an XYZ lounge when I was 19 (whassup Florida) and this older drunk guy got in my face. My whole family is Scottish/English/Irish, so I was taught to fight like a soccer fan. He got in my face, I put my forehead on his nose, and he collapsed. When they were dragging him out, a monster hunting knife falls out of his belt. I was a little more cautious after that. 

 

wikkidpissah

Footballguy
Not gonna lie, it's a little bit fun
tru dat.

few tips - take a beat til the rage passes, dont charge (try to get them to start by saying "stop me" or sumn), dont start unless you mean it and punch straight, dont swing. the best part of any fight is the end, even if theyre necessary.

 

Major

Footballguy
Keeping your pride and ego in check is easier said than done especially in that situation.  Escalating that fight could get really bad if they outnumbered you, putting your son in danger as well.   You did the right thing.   

And yes, they are called basketball goals where I'm from as well  :hifive:

 
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Jayrod

Footballguy
"Sorry, but no" made it confrontational.  A better way, especially since they were young and not understanding the situation(2 goals for 30 people), would probably have been "That would make it 2 goals for 30+ people.  Seems a little unfair, doesn't it"?
I spelled out that there were too many people.  I was polite but firm initially until they got stupid and started making threats.  Then I just laughed and started saying "OK, kid, whatever" to everything they said.  I definitely escalated it at that point, but I wasn't letting two young punks intimidate me.  I think I thought I was trying to teach them a lesson by not backing down or something.

 

Jayrod

Footballguy
If he truly did, as he describes, "run at the kid" in a "rage" the kid was probably acting in self-defense and, at least legally, the punch was justified.*

*Note: I obviously don't know the exact self-defense laws of the OP's state, but given just the facts as described the kid was probably legally justified in the assaultive action. 
Kind of a small miracle in all of it is that the literal only physical contact was his fist to my nose.  I never even so much as bumped into him because he was backing up quick when I came at him.  My hands were down because I was reaching for the ball he was holding with his left arm.  Literally him punching me never crossed my mind until he did.

 

rockaction

Footballguy
you are lucky you had an escape route 
Truth. And I thought I was in a much better situation than getting knifed. It was in a suburban gas station parking lot. That said, I was much larger than the 5'7" kid wielding it, and bigger than his accomplice, too. I actually said "You?! You're gonna kick my ###?" and then the knife came out. I was out of there. I wasn't testing a young man's stupidity. They tried to chase me down in their car, and were yelling at me to pull over, but I sped up, away, and ignored them. 

 

Jayrod

Footballguy
Keeping your pride and ego in check is easier said than done especially in that situation with your son present.  Escalating that fight could get really bad if they outnumbered you, putting your son in danger as well.   You did the right thing.   

And yes, they are called basketball goals where I'm from as well  :hifive:
I think having my son there kept things calmer because I knew he was watching the whole thing.

And, TBH, I've confronted people a couple of times in public in the past, but always just dealt with it verbally.  Even back in my school age days I never was in a confrontation unless I thought someone was picking on someone that couldn't defend themselves.

I think the most puzzling thing to me (and maybe a symptom of our society today) was how irrationally confident these two were.  Clearly I'm an adult, clearly I'm bigger than them and clearly I wasn't intimidated or backing down.  It was like they just couldn't handle anyone challenging them on anything and had to act tough out of some obligation.  It was very bizarre and kind of surreal when it was going down.

 

Navin Johnson

Footballguy
I think having my son there kept things calmer because I knew he was watching the whole thing.

And, TBH, I've confronted people a couple of times in public in the past, but always just dealt with it verbally.  Even back in my school age days I never was in a confrontation unless I thought someone was picking on someone that couldn't defend themselves.

I think the most puzzling thing to me (and maybe a symptom of our society today) was how irrationally confident these two were.  Clearly I'm an adult, clearly I'm bigger than them and clearly I wasn't intimidated or backing down.  It was like they just couldn't handle anyone challenging them on anything and had to act tough out of some obligation.  It was very bizarre and kind of surreal when it was going down.
Sounds like their confidence was pretty rational given the outcome.

 

jvdesigns2002

Footballguy
In the kids defense—I’d probably want to punch a person in the nose if they kept referring to a basketball hoop as a “goal”. Jk. Lol 

Honestly—sucks that it happened.  With that said—I think there was fault on both sides.  You’re an adult. You’re not even sure the person that struck you isn’t a minor.   Kids act like kids.   The names they called you were reprehensible—but you running after a person that could be a minor over a spat over a basketball hoop is pretty wack too.  I wouldn’t really call what happened a fight—and frankly—if I were you—I’d refrain from calling it one—as you clearly were not the victor. 

 

dozer

Footballguy
I spelled out that there were too many people.  I was polite but firm initially until they got stupid and started making threats.  Then I just laughed and started saying "OK, kid, whatever" to everything they said.  I definitely escalated it at that point, but I wasn't letting two young punks intimidate me.  I think I thought I was trying to teach them a lesson by not backing down or something.
Seems like you may have learned a little lesson yourself…

I’m glad you didn’t get hurt worse!

 

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