59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30 (1 Viewer)

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I was wearing my high school letterman's jacket until it was stolen when I was 23. I'd have kept wearing it for a while afterwards, too. Yes, there defeinitely would have been a time I would have felt it appropriate to stop wearing it ... but at the time, I didn't know when that would be.

It was stolen by one of your friends, who was trying to protect you from yourself. You should thank him.

I was wearing my high school letterman's jacket until it was stolen when I was 23. I'd have kept wearing it for a while afterwards, too. Yes, there defeinitely would have been a time I would have felt it appropriate to stop wearing it ... but at the time, I didn't know when that would be.

That's exactly why we stole it from you. It was for your own good.

 

[Tom Servo]

#68 Should be stricken from the list. I thought once you're old enough to drive it wasn't cool to bring a glove to a baseball game.

Caught my foul ball (off the bat of former Indian Pat Tabler) with my bare freakin' hands!! I didn't need no stinkin' beer cup.

 

[shuke]

77. Flipping your collar up.

 

[wadegarrett]

59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30

from Esquire Magazine

Link

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his penis his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ###?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word ######.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

FFA ADDITIONS

60. Esquire is for posers. (smoo)

61. Take any sort of life advice from a long irrelevant magazine skating by on reputation alone. (NY/NJMUFFDIVER)

62. Scrape a bowl. (Koya)

63. Feel the need to conform to societal pressures aka "be a poser" (smoo)

64. Care about whether other people think you're too old for certain behaviours. (smoo)

65. Paint your face before attending an athletic competiton. (cosjobs)

66. Sit "in the middle" whether the front or back seat of a car. (cosjobs)

67. Start a Myspace page. (proninja)

68. Bring a baseball mitt to a MLB game. (wadegarrett)

69. Wear a baseballl cap with the brim pointed in any direction other than over your eyes. (Wild Young Billy)

70. Drink cheap liquor or well drinks. (proninja/FairWarning/wadegarrett)

71. Wear a jersey that doesn't have YOUR NAME on it. Unless it says NIPSEY. (Doctor Detroit)

72. Wearing your high school letterman jacket. (FairWarning)

73. Driving into a parking lot with your music blasting and all your windows down. (proninja)

74. Using the phrases "face" or "burn". (TannerBoyle)

75. Wear a college/high school ring. (Capella)

76. Play frisbee Golf. (Cunning Linguist)

77. Flipping your collar up. (shuke)

78. Ice a Bro (wadegarrett)

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Wear socks with sandals or dress socks with sneakers.

 

[urbanhack]

59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30

from Esquire Magazine

Link

4. Hacky sack.

10. Skip.

19. Give shout-outs.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

26. Air drum.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

41. Purchase fireworks.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

73. Driving into a parking lot with your music blasting and all your windows down. (proninja)

76. Play frisbee Golf. (Cunning Linguist)

I'm 43 and do all of these.

 

[Godsbrother]

Read Esquire Magazine

 

[Jackstraw]

Own furniture made out of milk crates.

 

[urbanhack]

Play Beer Pong

 

[Zow]

I am guilty of one but I don't understand why it is on the list:50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia

that was my first thought too - why is this on the list?Everything else I agree with.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Read Esquire Magazine

 

[Disco Stu]

Play Beer Pong

Why do you hate fun?Also, odd five year bump.

 

[Zow]

Play Beer Pong

You do like 20 of the dumb things on that list and then you suggest not playing beer pong?? WTF.

 

[Apple Jack]

When should I be married by? Does this dress make me look fat?

 

[Koya]

Wear socks with sandals or dress socks with sneakers.

You ARE, however, allowed to do this once again when you reach the age of 65.

 

[Jobber]

Still not 30

Update?

 

[Dr. No]

geez... might as well just die.

but in reality i agree with most of those.

Having said that I sure wish i could be 21-24 again and get away with a lot of those shenanigans

 

[yellowdog]

26. Air drum.28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.57. Own a vanity plate.71. Wear a jersey that doesn't have YOUR NAME on it. Unless it says NIPSEY. (Doctor Detroit)

 

[Mr. Ected]

Wear socks with sandals or dress socks with sneakers.

Can we add docksiders to this list? No socks.

 

[yellowdog]

Wear socks with sandals

 

[cstu]

Simulating a sex act on the face of a passed out fan of an opposing team.

 

[shamwow!]

41 is wrong. The other 58 I agree with.

Who doesn't love blowing up stuff when they're drunk and/or with small children around?

 

[glumpy]

59 (and counting) Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30 50

I think we're up to...80. Worry about a "Should Never Do" list

 

[Skylord]

It doesn't matter how old you are, its virtually impossible to listen to Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight and not break into an air drum at that part.

 

[Ilov80s]

Take a camera to a nude beach. If not I who?? Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this? Eat Oreo cookies in stages. kiss my white a_ _ Purchase fireworks. WTF??? How else am I going to blow up my Oreo's, to eat them in stages, while I'm taking pictures at a Nude Beach

I believe morning zoo is a term for the cheesy morning radio shows with tons of drops, zany hosts, and outrageous bits.

 

[southeastjerome]

[QUOTE='Punk]Only guilty of #41.

I still don't understand why it's on the list. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Pyrotecnics have their place.

[/QUOTE] I agree, this does not belong on the list.

 

[snogger]

Take a camera to a nude beach. If not I who?? Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this? Eat Oreo cookies in stages. kiss my white a_ _ Purchase fireworks. WTF??? How else am I going to blow up my Oreo's, to eat them in stages, while I'm taking pictures at a Nude Beach

I believe morning zoo is a term for the cheesy morning radio shows with tons of drops, zany hosts, and outrageous bits.

Whew.. Took 6 years but that mystery is finally solved..

 

[Rayderr]

Take a camera to a nude beach. If not I who??

Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this?

Eat Oreo cookies in stages. kiss my white a_ _

Purchase fireworks. WTF??? How else am I going to blow up my Oreo's, to eat them in stages, while I'm taking pictures at a Nude Beach

I believe morning zoo is a term for the cheesy morning radio shows with tons of drops, zany hosts, and outrageous bits.

Whew.. Took 6 years but that mystery is finally solved..

Not even.

Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not what I'd call a household expression ... in context, "morning zoo" seems to refer to waking up with all kinds of strangers passed out all over your furniture, living room floor, etc. Maybe some hung-over early birds pacing around catatonically, or raiding your fridge.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I thought this was in reference to waking up listening to one of radio shows with a couple shock jocks. For the longest time, every market had at least one station that had a morning show called "the morning zoo"[/QUOTE]

 

[snogger]

Take a camera to a nude beach. If not I who??

Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this?

Eat Oreo cookies in stages. kiss my white a_ _

Purchase fireworks. WTF??? How else am I going to blow up my Oreo's, to eat them in stages, while I'm taking pictures at a Nude Beach

I believe morning zoo is a term for the cheesy morning radio shows with tons of drops, zany hosts, and outrageous bits.

Whew.. Took 6 years but that mystery is finally solved..

Not even.

Wake up to a "morning zoo." What means this?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not what I'd call a household expression ... in context, "morning zoo" seems to refer to waking up with all kinds of strangers passed out all over your furniture, living room floor, etc. Maybe some hung-over early birds pacing around catatonically, or raiding your fridge.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I thought this was in reference to waking up listening to one of radio shows with a couple shock jocks. For the longest time, every market had at least one station that had a morning show called "the morning zoo"

[/QUOTE]

 

[TJ-Raider]

It doesn't matter how old you are, its virtually impossible to listen to Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight and not break into an air drum at that part.

home-brewing and fireworks aside (no way they should even be on this list).... airdrumming is the only other thing I COMPLETELY disagree with. I am glad you found the right song to make sure everyone will understand why.

 

[eoMMan]

Smoke marijuana.

 

[Zow]

I'd also add "sticking any sort of decal to ones car." It just looks so freaking stupid. In that same vein taking any of the factory tags off the back (this is big in az/Cali for some reason). That also looks freaking stupid.

 

[nysportsfan]

With 30 looming I am popping my ####### collar this weekend.

 

[urbanhack]

Smoke marijuana.

 

[mr roboto]

It doesn't matter how old you are, its virtually impossible to listen to Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight and not break into an air drum at that part.

home-brewing and fireworks aside (no way they should even be on this list).... airdrumming is the only other thing I COMPLETELY disagree with. I am glad you found the right song to make sure everyone will understand why.

It's playing in my head and I'm air drumming. Do dum do dum do dum do dum dum dum

I CAN FEEL IT COOOMIN IN THE AIR TOO -NYEET

Hold O-on.

 

[Clayton Gray]

10. Skip.

This is actually a decent warmup before running / grapplying, but definitely not as a standalone activity.

41. Purchase fireworks.

I had stopped this, but now I buy them with my son now that he's old enough.

66. Sit "in the middle" whether the front or back seat of a car. (cosjobs)

Has to be an exception for when the car is full of similarly aged guys.Agree with the rest.

 

[eoMMan]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

 

[Jobber]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

 

[eoMMan]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

I didn't say anything about it being harmful to your body.“You wanna smoke pot? No. Why not? Because I'm not in the 7th grade and have things to do. Why don't you grow up and do coke like an adult?”

 

[Rayderr]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

Once you're over 30, you're really too old to risk being arrested and going to jail just to get a buzz. At least beer you can get legally.

 

[Chaka]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

I didn't say anything about it being harmful to your body."You wanna smoke pot? No. Why not? Because I'm not in the 7th grade and have things to do. Why don't you grow up and do coke like an adult?"

Not sure how that makes sense. Couldn't you use the same "I have stuff to do" logic for alcohol? And why would you be doing coke, booze or weed if you had things to do in the first place? They all seem like recreational activities that one does when they don't have stuff to do.I'm confused, maybe it's all the weed I smoked in the 7th grade.

 

[Chaka]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

Once you're over 30, you're really too old to risk being arrested and going to jail just to get a buzz. At least beer you can get legally.

GB California! You can do both legally.

 

[Tickle Monster]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

I didn't say anything about it being harmful to your body."You wanna smoke pot? No. Why not? Because I'm not in the 7th grade and have things to do. Why don't you grow up and do coke like an adult?"

Not sure how that makes sense. Couldn't you use the same "I have stuff to do" logic for alcohol? And why would you be doing coke, booze or weed if you had things to do in the first place? They all seem like recreational activities that one does when they don't have stuff to do.I'm confused, maybe it's all the weed I smoked in the 7th grade.

That's the great thing about pot. You can smoke, and still be reasonably functional.

 

[dozer]

I'm getting ready to turn 49 and I can't imagine not having a little weed around. I don't use any other drugs, but man... no doobage? No freaking way.

 

[Koya]

Smoke marijuana.

Are we supposed to only eat brownies? Liquid THC?

 

[Vike Me]

Bacardi??? :X

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Smoke marijuana.

Are we supposed to only eat brownies? Liquid THC?

All 3 sound good to me.

 

[Zow]

Smoke marijuana.

Hey, at least you can still pop pills and kick it to some fresh techno beats.

You do realize that kicking back with a few beers is more harmful to your body than marijuana right?

I didn't say anything about it being harmful to your body."You wanna smoke pot? No. Why not? Because I'm not in the 7th grade and have things to do. Why don't you grow up and do coke like an adult?"

Not sure how that makes sense. Couldn't you use the same "I have stuff to do" logic for alcohol? And why would you be doing coke, booze or weed if you had things to do in the first place? They all seem like recreational activities that one does when they don't have stuff to do.I'm confused, maybe it's all the weed I smoked in the 7th grade.

He's quoting Daniel Tosh.

 

[flapgreen]

Purchase fireworks?

I still "air drum" and would pick 69 as a game jersey. You're never too old for either of those.

 

[Dexter]

60. care about what anyone else thinks especially someone who makes a list what other people shouldn't be doing.