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[fantasycurse42]

Ok, I'm gonna invite her to a movie TOMORROW night. Is everybody OK with this suggestion?

No!

You've been getting slaughtered via text, you're her ##### at this point... Back off!! Don't text, call, email, or smoke signal for at least 4 or 5 days.

 

[Henry Ford]

You're inviting her for an activity where you two can't actually talk and get to know each other. Your friend zone plan will take some big steps at the movies.

 

[Todd Andrews]

Ok, I'm gonna invite her to a movie TOMORROW night. Is everybody OK with this suggestion?

Ask her if she is down for some aggressive dryhumping and a little fingerblasting before you mess your pants in shame.

 

[Henry Ford]

"Hey, want to sit in a dark room and be quiet together with a bunch of strangers?"

 

[Eminence]

Man, you guys are the worst wingmen ever.

 

[Eminence]

#### it, if this girl is interested at all she will respond to my text. If not, it's her loss. I know that I'm the ####### man.

 

[Apple Jack]

Anything but a ####### movie. Anything.

ETA: Except for Olive Garden or video games.

 

[Apple Jack]

Where does our protagonist live? Give us something to work with other than just assuming it's the most god-forsaken rural highway town on the planet.

 

[msudaisy26]

Ok, I'm gonna invite her to a movie TOMORROW night. Is everybody OK with this suggestion?

This is your problem right here. Don't worry what we think or if she may say no just do it already!!!

 

[Eminence]

Where does our protagonist live? Give us something to work with other than just assuming it's the most god-forsaken rural highway town on the planet.

Kankakee County. Specifically Bourbonnais, home of the Chicago Bears training camp!

 

[Juxtatarot]

Where does our protagonist live? Give us something to work with other than just assuming it's the most god-forsaken rural highway town on the planet.

Downstate Illinois.

 

[Premier]

" nap was awesome. but now i've got accounting homework to do. trying to focus, still kinda out of it..."

"Get some coffee"

 

[Apple Jack]

Where does our protagonist live? Give us something to work with other than just assuming it's the most god-forsaken rural highway town on the planet.

Kankakee County. Specifically Bourbonnais, home of the Chicago Bears training camp!

"Hey you want to go get some pizza and ecstasy and see a show in Chicago?"

 

[mad sweeney]

LOL at kids getting drunk and screwing constituting "rape." The world needs all the false rape accusations it can get.

No, AJ, they called it "rapey." It's a Jezebel/culture of rape thing you wouldn't understand.

Ew, that's like, rapey.

I called it rapey. And while I think the term is often misused, I don't think it's misused in the case where the guidance is for a guy to continually ensure that his date is provided alcohol until she makes "bad decisions." If you don't like the word rapey, we can use lots of other words to describe guys who use that tactic. Gross. Pervy. Creepy. Pathetic. They all work.

It's also ill-advised because it's exactly the situation that accusations of date rape, whether you find them valid or not, spring from.

That wasn't what was said though. He said 'it's too bad she's underage for drinking' as one statement and then said why: 'drunk girls have less inhibitions' as another. None of that is advice to get an underage (for drinking) girl drunk so he can force her to bang. It's just an observation.

Someone said in response to the statement that she's underage that he should find a way to get her drunk so she'll make some bad decisions with him.

Sorry, for some reason I never read the last sentence about figuring out a way. Must've just glazed over it.

 

[mad sweeney]

Yesterday, I message her

"i just got done lifting at the gym, want to smoke?"

"I'm at work"

"I'm closing"

*1 hour later*

"wellll, have a good shift then. i'll be blazed, taking a nap. "

"I'm jealous haha"

*multiple hours later*

" nap was awesome. but now i've got accounting homework to do. trying to focus, still kinda out of it..."

"Get skne coffee"

"some"

"I wish I had a red bull"

End conversation.

This is going nowhere fast.

I think mostly because of you. That seems to be the common denominator in all your various failed endeavors.

 

[Apple Jack]

"road trip."

 

[mad sweeney]

Man, you guys are the worst wingmen ever.

That dude that does weather reports from Halifax, Nova Scotia knows how more things work than you do.

 

[skol asylum]

Text her and tell her you need her help in making some innernets friends in the FFA. Tell her you need some solid posts to gain many likes and get invited into the official FBG friendzone.

 

[Apple Jack]

"we'll need an inconspicuous vessel for a healthy haul of drugs, the phone number of an attorney, and at least a quart of grapefruit juice. i'll pick you up at 3. LAY LOW."

 

[chauncey]

Forget this broad for a few days Em. You and John go find a Mardi Gras party at a bar in the county this weekend and drink pitchers of hurricane and hand out beads to drunk chicks. At least you will be guaranteed to see some nips.

Your text buddy will still be there next week. Nothing lost, nipples gained.

 

[Frostillicus]

Made reservations at possibly the best Italian joint in St. Paul.

Where?

I believe the name was Pazzaluna or something.

yeah pretty good

 

[Raider Nation]

Made reservations at possibly the best Italian joint in St. Paul.

Where?

I believe the name was Pazzaluna or something.

yeah pretty good

You really can't beat Minnesota for fine Italian dining.

 

[Frostillicus]

Made reservations at possibly the best Italian joint in St. Paul.

Where?

I believe the name was Pazzaluna or something.

yeah pretty good

You really can't beat Minnesota for fine Italian dining.

Actually you're wrong. You can beat it pretty easily. Just have to fly somewhere else.

 

[Raider Nation]

Zactly.

 

[Tom Servo]

You know, perhaps someone as dumb as Em shouldn't be trying to hook up with this (or any) girl. Hooking up --> the sechs --> possible kids.

We don't need Em Junior.

 

[jon_mx]

You know, perhaps someone as dumb as Em shouldn't be trying to hook up with this (or any) girl. Hooking up --> the sechs --> possible kids.

We don't need Em Junior.

Good point. Perhaps we need to back off. Just encourage him to stay on course.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Text her you are going to be at <insert sports bar/restaurant> , come by and I will buy you dinner.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Once she lets me in, I can pull at her emotional strings. Believe me, I've had success from in the zone.

This is getting sadder and sadder.

 

[TheIronSheik]

"Did she reply back?", he asked already knowing the answer.

 

[Stinger Ray]

You know, perhaps someone as dumb as Em shouldn't be trying to hook up with this (or any) girl. Hooking up --> the sechs --> possible kids.

We don't need Em Junior.

Best post of the thread!

 

[36th Chamber]

have you tried riding your bike past her house?

 

[DocHolliday]

Has she replied back yet Em?

 

[bushdocda]

Maybe we're talking hypothetical friend zone here.

Em, if you want a chick to smoke herb with and maybe she'll let you hit it that's one thing. But if you are digging on a girl that you have something potentially more in common with than blunts and Jonathan you should heed the advice about sending better texts.

You should be able to apply your awesome talents to pull girls. Try the Constanta move and do the opposite of your first instinct for awhile. I think you'll like the results.

 

[rockaction]

Apple Jack is killing this. Three solid pieces of gold advice, and no response.

Besides the Olive Garden. I love the soup. "Yes, more cheese."

Of course more cheese.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Kid is knee deep in box right now, he doesn't have time to respond.

 

[rockaction]

Kid is knee deep in box right now, he doesn't have time to respond.

SOMEBODY HAS TO.

 

[Premier]

Kid is knee deep in box right now, he doesn't have time to respond.

Boxes of deodorant that he's stocking.

 

[Keerock]

Kid is knee deep in box right now, he doesn't have time to respond.

Boxes of deodorant that he's stocking.

Beat me to it... but I was going to go with panty liners.

 

[rockaction]

" nap was awesome. but now i've got accounting homework to do. trying to focus, still kinda out of it..."

"Get some coffee"

Oh, no. Tell me she didn't text him that. Please tell me.

 

[-fish-]

Text her you are going to be at <insert sports bar/restaurant> , come by and I will buy you dinner.

no, no, no. all this will lead to is him paying for dinner.

 

[phrozen]

Text her you are going to be at <insert sports bar/restaurant> , come by and I will buy you dinner.

no, no, no. all this will lead to is him paying for dinner.

like can I get 2 orders of filet and lobster tail? like I want one to go so I can take it back to John's place.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Text her you are going to be at <insert sports

bar/restaurant> , come by and I will buy you dinner.

no, no, no. all this will lead to is him paying for dinner.

Well, I think he needs to make it clear she can't get the meal to go.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Wtf am I supposed to say?

Lets go <insert plan here> on X day.The plan does not include smoking blunts, playing video games or hanging at your parents house. It also does not involve anyone but you and her. That is your first and only text. Report back before responding to her response.

Seriuosly, this isn't hard.

"want to go see a movie tomorrow night?"

Boom, and it's done.

Close, but way off. I told you to go with a statement. You went with a question. And movie is a bad idea as others have mentioned.

 

[cstu]

Wtf am I supposed to say?

Lets go <insert plan here> on X day.The plan does not include smoking blunts, playing video games or hanging at your parents house. It also does not involve anyone but you and her. That is your first and only text. Report back before responding to her response.

Seriuosly, this isn't hard.

"want to go see a movie tomorrow night?"

Boom, and it's done.

Close, but way off. I told you to go with a statement. You went with a question. And movie is a bad idea as others have mentioned.

The less he has to talk to her on a date, the better. The idea that he is going to smooth talk her over drinks is ridiculous.

 

[Apple Jack]

How does this statement thing work? Because it sounds painfully cheesy. Like something beej read in a book on how to pick up chicks. I'm trying to imagine how any of my girlfriends or girl friends would respond to that kind of thing and it would be somewhere between laughter and ignoring it. Unless maybe it's something grand like "we have tickets in sec 437 for Tom Jones" or "you me a basket of bread sticks. we got a rez for 7 at teh Garden. boom!"

 

[Zow]

Anything but a ####### movie. Anything.

ETA: Except for Olive Garden or video games.

:bigredx:

Otherwise I totally agree with both other sentiments. A movie is a horrible date choice.

 

[phrozen]

Anything but a ####### movie. Anything.

ETA: Except for Olive Garden or video games.

:bigredx:

Otherwise I totally agree with both other sentiments. A movie is a horrible date choice.

but the never ending pasta bowl is a good date choice?

 

[Zow]

How does this statement thing work? Because it sounds painfully cheesy. Like something beej read in a book on how to pick up chicks. I'm trying to imagine how any of my girlfriends or girl friends would respond to that kind of thing and it would be somewhere between laughter and ignoring it. Unless maybe it's something grand like "we have tickets in sec 437 for Tom Jones" or "you me a basket of bread sticks. we got a rez for 7 at teh Garden. boom!"

"I'm grabbing a drink at [insert place] tonight after work. You should join me."

"Haha [insert minor playful dig]. Anyway, let's grab dinner tonight."

 

[Zow]

Anything but a ####### movie. Anything.

ETA: Except for Olive Garden or video games.

:bigredx:

Otherwise I totally agree with both other sentiments. A movie is a horrible date choice.

but the never ending pasta bowl is a good date choice?

My sample size of OG dating success is not small and meaningless. *

*To imply that OG was, at best, not a roadblock in getting me laid, you'd have to then assume that I had enough game back then to bed chicks without taking them to the better date places. Is that something we're prepared to say?

 

[TheIronSheik]

When I was in my early 20's, Olive Garden was the place you went when you wanted to go someplace nice, as opposed to Bennigan's or Fridays.

I love Italian food and am surrounded by wonderful Italian restaurants where I live now. That said, I still love going to the OG every so often. It may not be authentic Italian food, but it's still good food. Their breadsticks and salad are worth the trip, alone.