Caught wife texting another guy and hiding it - what's the play? (1 Viewer)

[eoMMan]

Get her best friend alone sometime soon and ask her if she knew that wife was cheating.

You will be able to tell by her reaction if she went all the way or it was just emotional (and hopefully wife has a good friend she would share this with)

If wife complains, tell her that due to her destroying the evidence you were forced to use more extreme measures to determine how far her infidelity went.

I would also confront the guy, I doubt he will just layoff and the first time you fight with your wife he will try to swoop back in. Make sure he u derstands the consequencesof doing this....if he is recently divorced there is a lot of other tail he can chase.

I never understood the confronting the guy thinking. She's the one at fault here. Honestly, if it wasn't him, it would probably be some other dude.

Don't get mad at the guy....get mad at your spouse.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'd like to hear some of these hiding money success stories.

I just had flashbacks to bad Jon Lovitz skits.

"Dear Mr Pickles,

Before I started hiding money, I was nothing, nowhere, nobody. I was a scrawny war veteran with two kids, bad hair, and a cheating wife who couldn't even keep her legs closed while I was off defending our freedoms. But then I started hiding money. My business took off, I got to bang lots of hot broads, and I never had to change out of my robe. Today they call me Hugh Hefner! Start hiding money!!"

 

[Skipdog77]

A woman giving extra sex to her spouse all of a sudden is a sure sign of physical or emotional cheating. The same as a husband buying a gift or flowers (when he never did this in the past) for his wife becuase he's banging his secretary.

And some advice for others, if you suspect something is up, DON'T confront. Take your time and snoop around. Hire a PI if you need to. Otherwise you risk deleted texts/calls/emails. As well as you forfeit your advantage in hiding money, getting a lawyer, etc.

She's trying to bang away her guilt.

Hopefully she used protection with Katie.

 

[The General]

Look at the phone bill and you should be able to pick the number out, right? You said you recognized the area code from CT.

 

[NajehHejan]

Doing some sleuthing here I think you can find out who this guy is. Katie is probably a male with the initials KT. Think Kevin Thompson or Ken Templeton. You need to find a work directory and see if there are any KT's.

 

[comfortably numb]

Look at the phone bill and you should be able to pick the number out, right? You said you recognized the area code from CT.

He has no access to phone bill.

His cell is from work

She has her own phone account for her line.

 

[Rick James]

forget about the phone. unless she's a ####### (possible!) there's no way she's still texting him. She'll take this to email, facebook chat...something. hell that's probably already happening. I'd install a key-logger on the computer and try to catch her in the act.

without evidence you've obviously got nothing.

 

[whiskey7]

Get her best friend alone sometime soon and ask her if she knew that wife was cheating.

You will be able to tell by her reaction if she went all the way or it was just emotional (and hopefully wife has a good friend she would share this with)

If wife complains, tell her that due to her destroying the evidence you were forced to use more extreme measures to determine how far her infidelity went.

I would also confront the guy, I doubt he will just layoff and the first time you fight with your wife he will try to swoop back in. Make sure he u derstands the consequencesof doing this....if he is recently divorced there is a lot of other tail he can chase.

I never understood the confronting the guy thinking. She's the one at fault here. Honestly, if it wasn't him, it would probably be some other dude.

Don't get mad at the guy....get mad at your spouse.

Good call. Even if OP finds out who the guy is with certainty, confronting and/or pummeling him (or possibly getting pummeled) leaves OP in same boat with wife plus additional headaches. Gotta let that part go, IMO.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

How does your wife normally groom down below? Has it changed in the last few months?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Look at the phone bill and you should be able to pick the number out, right? You said you recognized the area code from CT.

He has no access to phone bill.

His cell is from work

She has her own phone account for her line.

A couple of guys from NK found out the goings-on of Sony employees from 6,000 miles away. I find it hard to believe there's no way for a guy to find out what's going on in his own house.

You do own the house, right? That's not hers, too?

 

[loser]

Kenan Thompson imo

 

[D in the D]

Doing some sleuthing here I think you can find out who this guy is. Katie is probably a male with the initials KT. Think Kevin Thompson or Ken Templeton. You need to find a work directory and see if there are any KT's.

Don't sleep on KD, either. Kevin Durant, etc.

 

[johnnycakes]

 

[The General]

Look at the phone bill and you should be able to pick the number out, right? You said you recognized the area code from CT.

He has no access to phone bill.

His cell is from work

She has her own phone account for her line.

Oh. Got it.

At this point I think you need pretty much need to read the texts / see how long this has gone on for. No way can she just erase everything and you believe her side and move on as if nothing occurred. Things would happen all the time that would bring you two back to this and how it is unresolved. Good luck.

On a side note what's with all the poop schtick? Missed that one I think.

 

[Smack Tripper]

How does your wife normally groom down below? Has it changed in the last few months?

this is actually quite telling...

 

[Ned]

Kenbrell Thompkins?

 

[Smack Tripper]

I'd like to hear some of these hiding money success stories.

Hid quite a few racks I won in AC in a coat pocket in the closet... Figured I'd leave it there for something fun to buy. When I decided I wanted a new watch, 3 racks were missing.

Big success story, for the wife...

out of how many?

 

[Sabertooth]

Terrible liar. Guilty conscience.

Call your phone provider and recover those texts. Check call log to see how often they talk.

Good luck.

Tell the wife that if she wants to remain married to you she needs to produce the contents of those texts. Every single one of them. Also every single phone log. If she doesn't do that, divorce her. It's simple.

 

[johnnycakes]

Was there any sexual activity between the two? If not...

Is an "emotional affair" any less destructive than an actual sexual affair?

 

[humpback]

I doubt Katie is really a girl... She told me that he made her feel wanted and that she compalin about our marriage. I'm just struggling with if this is divorce material or not. She promise not to ever text him again plus she works from home so she only sees him at meetings on quarterly basis or so.

Divorce material is entirely subjective and only up for you to decide. While this forum is great for numerous reasons, guys are a bit....premature to recommend hiding money and banging strange. But just like the earlier anology to Shawshank Redemption, the "freedom" can sometimes be overwhelming. Sounds great in theory, in practice it can make you hang yourself in a halfway house.

You need to feel secure that your wife is being honest with you. You. Not guys from a magic football message board. Whatever it takes to make you comfortable is entirely up to you. Good luck. Sorry you are dealing with this. I installed a keylogger on my ex wife years ago when she was having an affair and reading the exchanges nearly killed me. Thinking about them now 10 years later -remarried and happy - still make me sick and our marriage was rotten. Be careful what you wish for when asking for texts.

But how can he, without actually seeing the exchanges? I don't think he's going to enjoy seeing them, but it's the only way to know what he's dealing with.

They've been married for 22 years. It's not what the texts say that matters anyway, it's what she meant by them. And the best way to find that out is by asking her.

I still think the best play is to blow off the texts and give her a reason to keep focused on him. Acting insecure and demanding passwords etc. does the exact opposite.

That all depends on what the texts actually say. I strongly disagree that the best way to find that out is by asking her, considering she's a known liar.

 

[popsecret]

Get her best friend alone sometime soon and ask her if she knew that wife was cheating.

You will be able to tell by her reaction if she went all the way or it was just emotional (and hopefully wife has a good friend she would share this with)

If wife complains, tell her that due to her destroying the evidence you were forced to use more extreme measures to determine how far her infidelity went.

I would also confront the guy, I doubt he will just layoff and the first time you fight with your wife he will try to swoop back in. Make sure he u derstands the consequencesof doing this....if he is recently divorced there is a lot of other tail he can chase.

I never understood the confronting the guy thinking. She's the one at fault here. Honestly, if it wasn't him, it would probably be some other dude.

Don't get mad at the guy....get mad at your spouse.

Why White Knight for a guy with no integrity? He deserves a kick to the face and then some

 

[seahawk 17]

Unless she saved the texts on the cloud, you are never going get to view them, so move on. You can have a female friend call Verizon and request a paper bill be sent to you. (If you know the last four of her social) or you can try to log into her Verizon online account to see call detail.

 

[ROCKET]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

 

[MaxThreshold]

Get her best friend alone sometime soon and ask her if she knew that wife was cheating.

You will be able to tell by her reaction if she went all the way or it was just emotional (and hopefully wife has a good friend she would share this with)

If wife complains, tell her that due to her destroying the evidence you were forced to use more extreme measures to determine how far her infidelity went.

I would also confront the guy, I doubt he will just layoff and the first time you fight with your wife he will try to swoop back in. Make sure he u derstands the consequencesof doing this....if he is recently divorced there is a lot of other tail he can chase.

I never understood the confronting the guy thinking. She's the one at fault here. Honestly, if it wasn't him, it would probably be some other dude.

Don't get mad at the guy....get mad at your spouse.

You must be "Katie". amiright?

 

[Spike]

She's behaving like a guilty person. Your biggest chip is she's willing to somewhat come clean when you pushed.

The hope you have to salvage your marriage is to sit her down, tell her to come holistically clean, and decide from there. Any less and you'll harbor resentment and be forever mistrustful and it won't work.

I spent 3 days pissed off beyond belief and the last 2 days probbing about what happen. She swears nothing physical ever happen - just texting. She's been telling me she doesn't want divorce and wants to spend the rest of her life with me.... I took her GPS this morning and went thru all the recent addresses and came up with nothing...

Maybe I'm oversimplifying, but if it's just texting and she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, she'd voluntarily turn over all the texts. If she won't, she cheated and/or said things in the text that prioritize keeping them secret over preserving her marriage.

/thread

 

[pantagrapher]

Doing some sleuthing here I think you can find out who this guy is. Katie is probably a male with the initials KT. Think Kevin Thompson or Ken Templeton. You need to find a work directory and see if there are any KT's.

Murder every Ken Templeton in the Connecticut phone book.

 

[tonydead]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

 

[tonydead]

I still don't see the big deal with sexting. Before there was sexting women just went around flashing their boobs. Hardly something to give up 22 years of marriage over.

 

[StrikeS2k]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

Maybe so That doesn't excuse her deleting all the evidence. It makes her look guilty.

 

[Sabertooth]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

There are two sides to the story of course. But only one of the sides is hiding an affair in plain sight.

 

[ROCKET]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

So assuming he's been a faithful husband all those years do you feel he is to blame for her to choice to sext around? If she wasn't happy then she should just leave. Screwing around is inexcusable and in no way is his fault. That is complete bs.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Set up a profile on Farmersonly.com

 

[tonydead]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

So assuming he's been a faithful husband all those years do you feel he is to blame for her to choice to sext around? If she wasn't happy then she should just leave. Screwing around is inexcusable and in no way is his fault. That is complete bs.

Just being faithful doesn't equate to being a good husband. Texting another guy doesn't equate to screwing around.

 

[tonydead]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

Maybe so That doesn't excuse her deleting all the evidence. It makes her look guilty.

Or she knows her husband is insecure and jealous.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

The cheating spouse is your primary concern - who she is cheating with is just someone taking advantage of an opportunity. No point in wasting rage on an opportunist, though I would certainly make sure I would destroy that person's reputation to the best of my ability (assuming they had a reputation worth destroying). As for the cheating spouse - it would be harder to forgive this after 22 years of marriage, than it would be if it happened early on and could be attributable to youthful indiscretion. WTH...22 years invested and now she decides she wants some strange?

 

[ROCKET]

If she can't come full circle, admit her guilt, ask for forgiveness AND disclose all of the indiscretions she made then why even bother staying with her? HTF can there ever be any closure or healing without everything being out in the open. Just her unwillingness to do that would tell me all I needed to know.

If she thinks she can just sweep this under the rug and move on she is crazy. Trust is earned and she needs to do what it takes to earn yours back. She's the one that f'd up not you and the onus is on her to do what it takes to save your marriage.

You know there are always two sides to a story don't you? After 22 years of marriage the onus is hardly ever on just one person.

Maybe so That doesn't excuse her deleting all the evidence. It makes her look guilty.

Or she knows her husband is insecure and jealous.

Wow, just wow.

 

[Judge Smails]

Did it spice up your sex life?

Yes - she been very active 2-3 X per day....

2-3 times per day after 22 years of marriage? Dude, you need to make this sound more believable.

no kidding. Question of whether this was fishing or not ended with this one for me.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Punch her in the face.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

WTH...22 years invested and now she decides she wants some strange?

Why is this part surprising?

 

[ROCKET]

One thing I know with certainty, if the divorce goes thru the ex's sisters, friends and hot coworkers are all definitely very much in play here.

 

[Tom Servo]

So does the person go and clean up the crap off their chest while the dumper stands on the bed waiting for them to come back?

depends on how into things you are... it can range from a quick clean if you use some saran wrap on said chest (variation on the glass bottomed boat move), to progressing into a brown shower in the actual shower, to...well.. I don't want to get banned.

Doesn't the smell bother you? Christ, my dog once farted while I was engaged in love making (with a woman, not the dog) and my boner went bye bye.

 

[Slapdash]

Tread lightly here. Main question you have to ask yourself if is that, even if it was physical, what do you want to do about it? Obviously there was something going on either way. You need to communicate with her and see if you can trust her before going forward.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

WTH...22 years invested and now she decides she wants some strange?

Why is this part surprising?

I guess it is not surprising - just more devastating. 22 year investment thrown in the toilet by one person's presumably horrible decision.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I'm beginning to think Dentist likes poop.

Thought for sure this was exaggerated shtick all along. I am on the fence at this point.

 

[Annyong]

I wonder if these people want to change things up go out for some nice Cajun or White Castle or something, then crap all over eachother. I would imagine they prolly have an extra room all Dexter'ed out for these types of things. I guess you could also just do it in the bathtub and you waffle stomp the poops through the drain.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I wonder if these people want to change things up go out for some nice Cajun or White Castle or something, then crap all over eachother. I would imagine they prolly have an extra room all Dexter'ed out for these types of things. I guess you could also just do it in the bathtub and you waffle stomp the poops through the drain.

Holy ####.

 

[Annyong]

I bet there's people who have the person dress up like a dog and lay down in one of those plastic dog kennels

 

[SacramentoBob]

You'll never be able to trust her again after this. Good luck, seriously.

 

[Annyong]

You'll never be able to trust her again after this. Good luck, seriously.

Especially after Katie dumped on her chest.

 

[shadyridr]

I wonder if these people want to change things up go out for some nice Cajun or White Castle or something, then crap all over eachother. I would imagine they prolly have an extra room all Dexter'ed out for these types of things. I guess you could also just do it in the bathtub and you waffle stomp the poops through the drain.

Holy ####.

literally