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Deadly Animal Draft (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter cosjobs
- Start date
Gringoloco
Footballguy
Should fit in fine here.
An additional thought on the elephant issue:
From the Rulebook, page 1...
Lots of selections so far aren't "fully defined," and the intrepid seeker (I love that phrase) could REALLY screw over some of the selections already made. We could turn this into a full-on screw-your-buddy funfest for the google-savvy.
From the Rulebook, page 1...
It strikes me that since we've determined sub-species as the de facto definition of "fully identified," that ANY subsequent drafter could have "defined" the original vague pick of ASIAN ELEPHANT with any appropriate sub-species. Since it was the original drafter himself who was the first subsequent drafter to bother, INDIAN ELEPHANT seems like it's the way to go, for purposes of official roster records. (And so voters know what they're dealing with.)Here's the good part, though:
Lots of selections so far aren't "fully defined," and the intrepid seeker (I love that phrase) could REALLY screw over some of the selections already made. We could turn this into a full-on screw-your-buddy funfest for the google-savvy.
Mr.Squidward
Footballguy
I think when the commish closed the whole elephant debacle, he was trying to say no more shenanigans with sub species. I could be wrong....This whole sub species thing can get a little confusing..... :wacko:An additional thought on the elephant issue:
From the Rulebook, page 1...
It strikes me that since we've determined sub-species as the de facto definition of "fully identified," that ANY subsequent drafter could have "defined" the original vague pick of ASIAN ELEPHANT with any appropriate sub-species. Since it was the original drafter himself who was the first subsequent drafter to bother, INDIAN ELEPHANT seems like it's the way to go, for purposes of official roster records. (And so voters know what they're dealing with.)
Here's the good part, though:
Lots of selections so far aren't "fully defined," and the intrepid seeker (I love that phrase) could REALLY screw over some of the selections already made. We could turn this into a full-on screw-your-buddy funfest for the google-savvy.
Edited for: my slaughtering of the word 'shenanigans'
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FINGERMONKEY!!
Footballguy
I DEMAND A FINGERMONKEY SMILIE, SCHICKIE-Shick!!! (I ALSO DEMAND NOT TO HAVE FINGERMONKEY'S ALIAS OUTED)!!!!!Had another request for a few smilies to be added. Sorry, but we can't seem to get them to upload into the board. Dodds says he'll look into it when the season is over. Looking forward to be able to use a :fishingtrip: smilie.
Unfortunately, at this point, there's no way around "shenanigans." The die has been cast, and the full definition been set at sub-species. The issue can't help but continue to come up with each decent animal picked. With a "no shenanigans" ruling, does a pick of "snake" now lock out every other snake? Does a pick of Cobra lock out all other cobras? Does a pick of ANY subspecies, like the Eastern Lowland Gorilla, lock out all other Gorillas?Either a further definition of the rules needs be made, or the rules as established should be followed to maximize hilarity. You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can't unscrew an animal draft.
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cactus
Telepathic Stuntman
Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention! 
PAO
Footballguy
For his team's sake, I really hope you're a miracle worker.Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention!
Hey that jellyfish is a solid pick. You just have to convince the elephant to go into the ocean...Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention!
cosjobs
Footballguy
Bad-mouthing a potential employer may not be the best way to secure a position... We will see what FE says.Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention!
randall146
Footballguy
Without hosiery? Good luck.Hey that jellyfish is a solid pick. You just have to convince the elephant to go into the ocean...Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention!
Mr.Squidward
Footballguy
Gepetto can take care of the hosiery- if the price is right and it will benefit his team.Without hosiery? Good luck.Hey that jellyfish is a solid pick. You just have to convince the elephant to go into the ocean...Just so you guys know - I've taken Fast Eddie up on his offer for an assistant coach/offensive coordinator.He hasn't gotten back to me on this yet, but I'm ready to go with a couple picks that will salvage his hapless jellyfish/alligator combo and bring that team back into contention!
If it were me -- and thank God it's not -- I would redefine the drafted animal rule something like...
All animals may be defined up to subspecies level by the original drafter. That's to say: Genus species subspecies. All verifiable subspecies are legal. Should the drafter fail to define his animal to that level, any other drafter may then define the animal up to the subspecies level with any verifiable subspecies. Thus, if the original drafter were to draft Antarctic Elephant (mythical), but there were two subspecies extant -- the Giant A.E., and the Pygmy A.E. -- any drafter may stick the original owner with the Pygmy, and the Giant would still be available.
All elephants, as per stated addendum, would be off limits, of course. I'd also shut off all already-made picks at whatever level of classification they were originally made. But I think for all FUTURE picks, this would end the controversy. Maybe.
All animals may be defined up to subspecies level by the original drafter. That's to say: Genus species subspecies. All verifiable subspecies are legal. Should the drafter fail to define his animal to that level, any other drafter may then define the animal up to the subspecies level with any verifiable subspecies. Thus, if the original drafter were to draft Antarctic Elephant (mythical), but there were two subspecies extant -- the Giant A.E., and the Pygmy A.E. -- any drafter may stick the original owner with the Pygmy, and the Giant would still be available.
All elephants, as per stated addendum, would be off limits, of course. I'd also shut off all already-made picks at whatever level of classification they were originally made. But I think for all FUTURE picks, this would end the controversy. Maybe.
Noodlefish
Bloomin' brilliant...
I've been here for over 11 hours... 
Where's my pick...?
Where's my pick...?
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll
Footballguy
I had a 1/2 Buffalo burger on Sunday 
...really...good schitt!Much more active than a fat, lazy-acss cow, the Buffalo's meat is leaner. It is also lower in cholesterol than the puCy chicken. 
Eat Buffalo.As for how it would fare in said DeathMatch...I will point to the fact that Indians were able to get hundreds of them to run off cliffs... 
...really...good schitt!Much more active than a fat, lazy-acss cow, the Buffalo's meat is leaner. It is also lower in cholesterol than the puCy chicken. Eat Buffalo.As for how it would fare in said DeathMatch...I will point to the fact that Indians were able to get hundreds of them to run off cliffs...
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Mr.Squidward
Footballguy
bj needs to get moving. the commish is here- no more dicking around! 
Anyway, it's just a suggestion to easify the commish's job, and an attempt to clarify an already-stated rule, since it's one that's already buggered and bogged the draft about 3 times.But hey, whatever floats the collective draft's boat. Gone for a while. Eager to see what's here when I get back in, later.Draft deadly, y'all.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Stepping in for bigjay I present the Asiatic Lion.
Scientific name: Panthera leo persica
Weight: Male 150-250Kg
Length (head and body): Male 1.7-2.5m
Length (tail): 70-105cm
Shoulder height: Male 1-1.23m
Typical diet: ***, ***, ***, buffalo
Asiatic Lions are built similar to their African cousins but often look smaller due to their smaller manes. The Asiatic lion has long been celebrated as Lord of Beasts, and it became a symbol for human power and sovereignty.
The prey is mostly killed by a quick, powerful bite to the spine or with the help of a classic choke grip, with the strong jaws of the lion cutting off air supply to the lungs.
Asiatic lions are genetically distinct from the lions of Sub-Saharan Africa, although the difference is not large, being smaller than the genetic distance between human racial groups. With the African lion going at 1.11, the Asiatic lion is a steal here.
I humbly suggest that the lion (Panthera Leo) species now close. African and Asiatic are the only two widely accepted subspecies.
Scientific name: Panthera leo persica
Weight: Male 150-250Kg
Length (head and body): Male 1.7-2.5m
Length (tail): 70-105cm
Shoulder height: Male 1-1.23m
Typical diet: ***, ***, ***, buffalo
Asiatic Lions are built similar to their African cousins but often look smaller due to their smaller manes. The Asiatic lion has long been celebrated as Lord of Beasts, and it became a symbol for human power and sovereignty.
The prey is mostly killed by a quick, powerful bite to the spine or with the help of a classic choke grip, with the strong jaws of the lion cutting off air supply to the lungs.
Asiatic lions are genetically distinct from the lions of Sub-Saharan Africa, although the difference is not large, being smaller than the genetic distance between human racial groups. With the African lion going at 1.11, the Asiatic lion is a steal here.
I humbly suggest that the lion (Panthera Leo) species now close. African and Asiatic are the only two widely accepted subspecies.
I only fear what may come of my lion due to bigjay's lack of promptness.
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CaptainHucklebuck
Ancient Chinese Secret
Perhaps.... but perhaps not. I have a pick lying around that requires that this not be closed. Commish is already aware of it.
CaptainHucklebuck
Ancient Chinese Secret
Perhaps, instead, as punishment we could give him Justin Guarini
RCA has dropped him apparently, leaving him ripe for the plucking.
RCA has dropped him apparently, leaving him ripe for the plucking.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Asia Lion, african lion, siberian lion------heck why doesn't someone just get it over and draft the Detroit Lions. They MIGHT be able to beat the FingerMonkey...
CaptainHucklebuck
Ancient Chinese Secret
I will be drafting the dande-lion next.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
Just in case people have forgotten where we have come from and who is up next:.1 - truth ->>>>> Hippopotamus1.2 - Kovax ->>>>>>>>Great White Shark1.3 - Captain Hucklebuck ->>>>> Black Leopard1.4 - pgreenfan ->>>>> Cape Buffalo1.5 - gorf ->>>>>>> African Elephant1.6 - bigjay ->>>>>>>>>Sperm Whale1.7 - PoolShark - >>>White Rhino1.8 - NCCommish ->>>>>>>Pygmy Marmoset (2 broken arms)1.9 - the rover ->>>>>>Saltwater Crocodile (one eye and one leg missing ) 1.10 - Noodlefish ->>>>>>>>Polar Bear with a bad cold and an arthritc elbow1.11 - TLEF316 ->>>>>>>African Lion1.12 - Sandbagger ->>>>>>>Giant Squid1.13 - CourtJester -->>>>Killer Whale1.14 - Fast Eddie21 ->>>>>>> Sea Wasp Jellyfish1.15 - The Goat ->>>>>>>Grizzly Bear1.16 - PAO ->>>>>>>Siberian Tiger2.1 - PAO->>>>>>Kodiak Bear with no teeth2.2 - The Goat - >>>>>>Tiger Shark2.3 - Fast Eddie21 >>>>>>>American Alligator2.4 - CourtJester ->>>>>>>>>King Cobra2.5 - Sandbagger ->>>> Komodo Dragon2.6 - TLEF316 ->>>>>Nile Crocodile2.7 - Noodlefish ->>>>>Blue Ringed Octopus2.8 - the rover ->>>>Asian Elephant2.9 - NCCommish->>>>Bengal Tiger2.10 - PoolShark->>>>> Taipan Snake2.11 - bigjay ->>>>>Bull Moose2.12 - gorf ->>>>>>>>Electric Eel2.13 - pgreenfan -->>>>>Bull Shark2.14 - Captain Hucklebuck->>>>>>> Green Anaconda2.15 - Kovax ->>>>>>>>>Wolverine2.16 - truth ->>>>>> Western Pygmy Rattlesanke3.1 - truth ->>>>Black Rhino3.2 - Kovax ->>>>>Sri Lankan Elephant3.3 - Captain Hucklebuck ->>>Eastern Lownland Gorilla3.4 - pgreenfan ->>>>>>>Beaked Sea Snake3.5 - gorf ->>>American Bison3.6 - bigjay Asian Lion3.7 - PoolShark 3.8 - NCCommish 3.9 - the rover 3.10 - Noodlefish 3.11 - TLEF316 3.12 - Sandbagger 3.13 - CourtJester 3.14 - Fast Eddie21 3.15 - The Goat 3.16 - PAO
cosjobs
Footballguy
With the seventh selection of the third round, PoolShark, by holy-divined proxy, selects:
Shortfin Mako Shark Isurus oxyrinchus
Easily the #2 shark on my board, taken as the 4th. Great value pick here IMO, and not likely to slide another round.
The Shortfin Mako reaches 12 1/2 feet and up to 1500 lbs.
They are far and away the fastest and most agile of the shark family, and possibly the fastest fish period.
They are also phenominal jumpers, reaching heights of up to 20 feet above the water. Far greater than Marlin, for example.
And then there's their attitude...
"It's the oceans version of the grizzly bear.
Only this bear, has a wolverines disposition."
"The mako has an attitude. It owns the ocean, and you are trespassing in its territory. Chopping tails off other sharks, swordfish , tuna, marlin,-and attacking boats when hooked- gets the message across. According to the IGFA, the short fin mako is the undisputed leader in attacks on boats."
"Makos are bullies."
"No marlin, or trained dolphin at Seaworld can reach the height an airborne mako can achieve. Makos can clear 20 feet."
To sum it up...
"Nothing in the Ocean is in a class with the Mako."
Shortfin Mako Shark Isurus oxyrinchus
Easily the #2 shark on my board, taken as the 4th. Great value pick here IMO, and not likely to slide another round.
The Shortfin Mako reaches 12 1/2 feet and up to 1500 lbs.
They are far and away the fastest and most agile of the shark family, and possibly the fastest fish period.
They are also phenominal jumpers, reaching heights of up to 20 feet above the water. Far greater than Marlin, for example.
And then there's their attitude...
"It's the oceans version of the grizzly bear.
Only this bear, has a wolverines disposition."
"The mako has an attitude. It owns the ocean, and you are trespassing in its territory. Chopping tails off other sharks, swordfish , tuna, marlin,-and attacking boats when hooked- gets the message across. According to the IGFA, the short fin mako is the undisputed leader in attacks on boats."
"Makos are bullies."
"No marlin, or trained dolphin at Seaworld can reach the height an airborne mako can achieve. Makos can clear 20 feet."
To sum it up...
"Nothing in the Ocean is in a class with the Mako."
Noodlefish
Bloomin' brilliant...
Ditto...That was a slick pick...Mako's rock...nice pick by poolshark.
Mr.Squidward
Footballguy
Excellent pick. Once again a pick that the JAA/Kovax team had its eyes own.
I like the Mako. It is a badass. Too much is made of "can be up to..." on this draft. Those are once-in-history type specimens.Your garden-variety mako is more likely 6-7 feet and 500-700 lbs.Still a badass, mind you, but its size is a bit overstated there by only giving the "up to."Attitude-wise though, you got a steal there. It's like the GWS and Wolverine had a kid. (Edited to remove rogue apostrophe. 
)
It is a badass. Too much is made of "can be up to..." on this draft. Those are once-in-history type specimens.Your garden-variety mako is more likely 6-7 feet and 500-700 lbs.Still a badass, mind you, but its size is a bit overstated there by only giving the "up to."Attitude-wise though, you got a steal there. It's like the GWS and Wolverine had a kid. (Edited to remove rogue apostrophe. )
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cosjobs
Footballguy
With the eighth selection of the third round, NCCommish, by holy-divined proxy, selects:
I want to go with the Spotted Hyena Crocuta crocuta, the second-biggest and most formidable African carnivore, capable of running down and killing unaided a bull wildebeest 3 times its own weight.
Spotted Hyena
Regardless of the outcome of the death matches, I am guaranteed the last laugh with this pick.
I want to go with the Spotted Hyena Crocuta crocuta, the second-biggest and most formidable African carnivore, capable of running down and killing unaided a bull wildebeest 3 times its own weight.
Spotted Hyena
Regardless of the outcome of the death matches, I am guaranteed the last laugh with this pick.
cosjobs
Footballguy
With the ninth selection of the third round, therover, by holy-divined proxy, selects:
Feeling the need for a big cat, I select the Jaguar, Panthera onca, and specifically the largest subspecies, Panthera onca paraguayensis. This pick shows the folly of choosing the leopard with the third overall pick, as the two cats are incredibly similar (although Jaguars have cooler markings).
In appearance the Jaguar is often confused with the Leopard - both cats, depending to a degree on sub-species have a similar brownish/yellow base fur colour which is distinctively marked with dark rosette markings. However, the jaguar can be distinguished by the presence of small dots or irregular shapes within the larger rosette markings, a more stocky and muscular body and a shorter tail. Melanistic or black jaguars are common in certain parts of its range and are often confusingly labelled ‘Black Panthers’, a name which is also applied to black Leopards. In this melanistic form the cats are more difficult to separate, however the jaguar's large head and stocky forelimbs are often a good way to differentiate between the two cats.
In size its prey ranges from large domestic livestock such as cattle and horses (for which it has a poor reputation with local farmers), Marsh deer, Brocket deer, down through various species of Peccary, larger rodents such as Capybara, Paca and Agouti, to reptiles, monkeys and fish.
In comparison with the other cats of its size the jaguar has particularly power jaws and often kills its prey by piercing the skull with one swift bite. Unfortuantely this pick comes saddled with Jack DelRio trying scheme his defense.
Feeling the need for a big cat, I select the Jaguar, Panthera onca, and specifically the largest subspecies, Panthera onca paraguayensis. This pick shows the folly of choosing the leopard with the third overall pick, as the two cats are incredibly similar (although Jaguars have cooler markings).
In appearance the Jaguar is often confused with the Leopard - both cats, depending to a degree on sub-species have a similar brownish/yellow base fur colour which is distinctively marked with dark rosette markings. However, the jaguar can be distinguished by the presence of small dots or irregular shapes within the larger rosette markings, a more stocky and muscular body and a shorter tail. Melanistic or black jaguars are common in certain parts of its range and are often confusingly labelled ‘Black Panthers’, a name which is also applied to black Leopards. In this melanistic form the cats are more difficult to separate, however the jaguar's large head and stocky forelimbs are often a good way to differentiate between the two cats.
In size its prey ranges from large domestic livestock such as cattle and horses (for which it has a poor reputation with local farmers), Marsh deer, Brocket deer, down through various species of Peccary, larger rodents such as Capybara, Paca and Agouti, to reptiles, monkeys and fish.
In comparison with the other cats of its size the jaguar has particularly power jaws and often kills its prey by piercing the skull with one swift bite. Unfortuantely this pick comes saddled with Jack DelRio trying scheme his defense.
