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Dispute With My Wife. I'll Do What The FFA Rules. (2 Viewers)

(Read the facts in the first post before voting.) What should I do?

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, and you're wrong

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, but she's right that a hus

    Votes: 11 3.5%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, wrong about a husband alwa

    Votes: 63 19.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but it's h

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but you ca

    Votes: 3 0.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is dead wrong, and your life sounds horrible.

    Votes: 211 66.8%
  • Total voters
    316
Gary Coal Man said:
Technically, she called me a #####, but this board doesn't allow ##### so I edited it to the clean version equivalent of pansy.  Same first letter and same two last letters.
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That's what I figured.  Women like this are the ones that cause men to get in fights.  "Zomg he just spilled beer all over my Tory Burch sandals!  Are you going to say something to him or sit there like a p****"

 
similar issue with me. came home yesterday and my neighbors car was parked on the street, 2 feet of his car was blocking my driveway. I park on that side so the wife can get into garage etc. was going to say something today if he didn't move his car but it was gone this morning..

how do you not even know your blocking someone's driveway? either he's stupid or doesn't care

 
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Tell her as a good neighbor sometimes we have to deal with minor nuisances. And that's all this is, she needs to be comfortable driving and able to make that turn with no fear. That's her real issue, it's her lack of confidence in driving. If the neighbor was a 20 something lazy #### I would possibly talk to him. But he parks at his house that way for a fair reason, it's nothing your wife shouldn't be able to handle and understand. Stand your ground coal man and have your auto insurer on speed dial. 

 
So what forum does your wife frequent?  I think it would b really interesting to get her take on this.

I guess a good thing about the situation is that when your wife eventually crushes the side of his car, you won't have to pay the deductible since he is technically parked illegally (I think).

 
Gary Coal Man said:
In fairness, I've previously told her that she's acting like a ####.

Rhymes with something you do on 4th & long.
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Crumble? 

If she drives a mini van I can see where it would be difficult (assuming no rearview camera) but that's not his fault.  Buy a new, smaller car.  

It's funny that she can call you a cat for not abiding by her demands. 

 
Is the neighbor's car there when she gets home? 

Based on how you've described her driving ability, I think this won't work - but any chance she can back into the garage?

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Technically, she called me a #####, but this board doesn't allow ##### so I edited it to the clean version equivalent of pansy.  Same first letter and same two last letters.
Click to expand...
Assuming you're serious...THIS is why you don't talk to the neighbor.  Talking to the neighbor isn't fixing this.  And stop calling your wife a seeyounexttuesday while you're at it.

 
ZenMaster said:
Is the neighbor's car there when she gets home? 

Based on how you've described her driving ability, I think this won't work - but any chance she can back into the garage?
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I think the neighbor's car is usually there when my wife gets home, but I'm not sure because both get home before me.  I prefer not to ask her because that brings up the topic and then I get more of this.

 
pats3in4 said:
Assuming you're serious...THIS is why you don't talk to the neighbor.  Talking to the neighbor isn't fixing this.  And stop calling your wife a seeyounexttuesday while you're at it.
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Wow... wife called you a #####? 

Serious talk time... 

 
TheMagus said:
So if the alley is a street that has room for two lanes, is this any different than having a normal sized driveway with someone parallel parked on the opposite side of the street? That's a pretty normal scenario no matter where you live. 
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Yeah this is what I can't get over. Backing out of a driveway with a car parked on the street is no problem. Although maybe with such a short driveway she can't cut the wheels very early (because the garage is right there and she thinks she will hit the side of the garage). 

 
mr roboto said:
Yeah this is what I can't get over. Backing out of a driveway with a car parked on the street is no problem. Although maybe with such a short driveway she can't cut the wheels very early (because the garage is right there and she thinks she will hit the side of the garage). 
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She thinks that she needs to ride over the edge of our grass next to our short driveway, but she really doesn't.

 
HOA complaint is a horrible idea. If that's even on the table, just talk to the guy.  

If it were me, I'd say half jokingly that my wife is a horrible driver and is worried she'll hit your car. See what happens. If this guy is any kind of neighbor, he'll try to throw you a bone.  If not, matter of time before you piss him off anyway. 

 
She's sleeping with the neighbor. And now she wants you to go talk to him so she can rub your face in it. 

Start hiding money yesterday.

 
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cheese said:
Ya no kidding. Lots of us have wives that complain about stupid stuff, but that's pretty extreme getting called that by your wife. Not sure Id let that 1 go
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Meh, I consider that real talk.  I'd rather a relationship where you maybe let a word or two too many fly on rare occasion than a relationship where you're always watching what you say.

 
pantagrapher said:
What kind of development doesn't have rules about parking cars in the alley?
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I don't know for sure whether our HOA does have a rule against parking in the back alley, but I'm guessing our HOA does have that rule.  I just don't see the point of being HOA Rules Stickler Guy if it's going to cause neighborly tension that can be avoided by my wife driving like a normal person.

 
She should be the one to talk to him - I voted that it is her issue and not yours.

Specifically, tell your wife that if she approaches him and explains why she would like him to move, the neighbor would appreciate that she stood up for herself, rather than force her husband to speak up on her behalf.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
I think the neighbor's car is usually there when my wife gets home, but I'm not sure because both get home before me.  I prefer not to ask her because that brings up the topic and then I get more of this.
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Hmmm.  They both are home when u are not and she wants u to "talk" to him.  It is Gary after all, has she recently adjusted your life insurance?

 
JoeSteeler said:
I don't have kids but...protect your 4 year old from the elements??? WTF
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It's a BS excuse for her inability to drive.  She knows it and I know it.  Besides, even if she really meant it, that means she doesn't want our four year old in the elements, but she wants our neighbor to potentially do a slightly further trek in the elements with his toddler and baby.  Seems selfish.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Meh, I consider that real talk.  I'd rather a relationship where you maybe let a word or two too many fly on rare occasion than a relationship where you're always watching what you say.
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Yeah, that's how I used to rationalize the contempt in my marriage, too.

 
Curious, how are the other property owner's parking?  Is this the only guy parking as you describe, or are there numerous people that do what he is doing and the HOA is not saying anything? 

 
Just curious, how would it go over if you told your wife that you weren't going to help with the dishes or straightening up around the house because "that's a woman's job in the marriage"? 

 
Your wife is asking you to solve a problem for her.  It's your job to do that if she asks, no matter how rational or irrational it is.  Failing to communicate directly to her is the problem, not so much the fact that you think she is wrong.

She wants you to be a leader and is asking you to do something important for her.  So talk to her about it.  Sit her down and have a rational discussion.  If she raises her voice, you end the discussion and tell her you will talk to her again when she calms down.  If she fights with you, do the same.  Explain to her your point of view.  And talk out how potential alternate solutions can be available.  But in that, you already need to have the alternate solutions in your head.

For example - is there anything in the alley that you can move?  Like garbage cans or a grill - basically is there something that you can move around from your possessions that make it easier for her to navigate the alley.  Is there something in your garage that you can move around the same way so that she can enter it at a different and easier angle?

I like the idea above of actually sitting in the car with her and showing her how to get in and out of the spot.  Playful banter during is a must.  

Finally, talk to your neighbor.  Tell him that your wife is concerned about not being able to navigate the alley with his car there and see if there is something he can move (garbage, grill) on his side to make it easier to fit both of the cars so that she isn't so nervous about hitting his car.

Is there any chance she doesn't like her car?  Has she been hinting to you that she would like a new one or a different one?  This could all be a passive agressive way for you to get her a new car.  Maybe something easier for her to drive?  

This has the potential to be a good friday thread.  But it's Wednesday.  So have something good ready to go on Friday as a follow up for us.

 
Johnny Bing said:
Curious, how are the other property owner's parking?  Is this the only guy parking as you describe, or are there numerous people that do what he is doing and the HOA is not saying anything? 
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One other guy parks just like my neighbor.

In my wife's defense, an old Asian guy neighbor who is our neighborhood equivalent to Gladys Kravitz is always waving me over to ask how I can tolerate my neighbor parking behind my house like that.  Since he's old and Asian I figure that he can relate to my wife's driving issues.

 
This is where you collude with the neighbor.

"Listen Jeff, I don't really care but my wife keeps nagging me. She wants me to ask you to move your car. You aren't obliged to do so but I'm obliged as her husband to ask you."

You actually ask him and he might be more mindful... and your wife doesn't think you're a #####.

If he says no rehash the line,

"I talked to Jeff. He says he's sorry but he can't move it. He says he'll gladly talk to you about it if you want."

 
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