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Dispute With My Wife. I'll Do What The FFA Rules. (2 Viewers)

(Read the facts in the first post before voting.) What should I do?

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, and you're wrong

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, but she's right that a hus

    Votes: 11 3.5%

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, wrong about a husband alwa

    Votes: 63 19.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but it's h

    Votes: 14 4.4%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but you ca

    Votes: 3 0.9%

  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is dead wrong, and your life sounds horrible.

    Votes: 211 66.8%
  • Total voters
    316
jhib said:
Maybe I'm specially challenged, but I think I need a drawing.

It might be the parking "horizontally to the garage door" part that's throwing me. Is this just pulling into the driveway as if you'd be entering the garage, but stopping just outside? 

And if the alley is as wide as a street, can't they just park on the side of the alley like they do on the street in front instead of pulling partway into the driveway and sticking out? 
Click to expand...
Like this...

http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/42e79eff4f5147f9b5ebc2519ddae703/car-parked-outside-garage-with-request-of-no-parking-adtpbg.jpg

The distance from the street to the garage door in that picture is about the length of our very short driveways.  May neighbor parks like that car so that half of his car is on the driveway (sidewalk in the picture) and half of his car is in the alley.

 
So, she is parking solo in a 2 car garage and can't back out into a 1.5 lane road that is free and clear?  Tell her to park at an angle and suck it up.

 
Whatchu talkin' about Willis?!

The real problem I have with your narrative is that your wife refuses to park in front of the house because she does not want to expose your child to the elements ..... Really?  Is your kid Sweetrobin from GOT.

If it is against the covenants, it should not be allowed and it is up to your HOA to enforce it.   This is why we have rules.  Tell her to harass the community president.

 
xulf said:
So, she is parking solo in a 2 car garage and can't back out into a 1.5 lane road that is free and clear?  Tell her to park at an angle and suck it up.
Click to expand...
i like this....give her some parking season's on the weekend.....doesn't she have a back up camera?  What kind of car does she drive, may be time for one of those mini cars.

 
Serious answer: buy her a new car with rear camera and sensors.  A couple of hundred bucks extra a month at most.  Or turn her car around every night.  I'd go with the new car because that's going to be a huge pain in the ###.

 
If you already told her you think it is wrong then it's up to her to deal with her problem. Of course, you run the risk of her setting up a "BJ's for parking the car elsewhere" arrangement with Vladimir.

 
sbonomo said:
i like this....give her some parking season's on the weekend.....doesn't she have a back up camera?  What kind of car does she drive, may be time for one of those mini cars.
Click to expand...
She doesn't have a camera, but she's got one of those beeping warning signals that gets faster the closer that you get to backing into something.  That just makes her more frazzled.

So far I like the idea of me turning her car around each night so that she can just pull out and I can maintain normal relations with my neighbor.

 
So if the alley is a street that has room for two lanes, is this any different than having a normal sized driveway with someone parallel parked on the opposite side of the street? That's a pretty normal scenario no matter where you live. 

 
Willie Neslon said:
Do one of those Mr. Myagi deals.  Have your wife clean the windows every night and if she does, you'll have a talk with the neighbor. Then after a week when she asks you why you haven't spoken with the neighbor yet, take her to the car in the garage and have her get in the driver seat.  Put her hand on the wheel and say "now show me clean the windows".  She'll cut that wheel so nice that when she backs out she won't come within 10 feet of that other car. 
Click to expand...
:lmao:   Awesome.

I'm usually in the "Happy Wife, Happy Life" camp.  She is definitely in the wrong here.  I'd let him know my wife is a bad driver and she may hit his car.  I wouldn't press it with the other guy at all, just let him know my wife is crazy and a bad driver and then he can make his own decision.

I voted option 6 by the way.

 
Yeah, tell him she's going to end up hitting his car, tell her that you understand that she may hit his car and have the deductible ready.  This is a problem that solves itself.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Yes, technically, she's right that any jutting into the alley is an HOA violation.  And my wife is using that as leverage to get me to step to the plate.  She's saying that if I don't resolve the matter with a friendly neighbor guy chat then she'll make it worse by filing an HOA complaint.  Yep, this is my life.
Click to expand...
Let her file the complaint.

 
sbonomo said:
She sound miserable.  Is she like this in every day life as well?
Click to expand...
No, she's normally pretty chill, but every now and then she gets a demand in her head where, no matter how unreasonable, she's like a pit bull that refuses to let go of her grip.

In these instances I never give in because I don't want to set a precedent of caving to moonbattery.

 
Your wife is wrong. You know it. We know it. 

Now go make her a sammich and then talk to your neighbor.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
She doesn't have a camera, but she's got one of those beeping warning signals that gets faster the closer that you get to backing into something.  That just makes her more frazzled.

So far I like the idea of me turning her car around each night so that she can just pull out and I can maintain normal relations with my neighbor.
Click to expand...
This will get old pretty quickly.  

 
Gary Coal Man said:
She wants to park in the garage because she transports our four year old daughter more than I do and wants to protect our daughter from the elements.
Click to expand...
Start taking your daughter camping regularly so she doesn't have this bull#### excuse and you don't raise a child afraid of her own shadow.

 
Willie Neslon said:
Do one of those Mr. Myagi deals.  Have your wife clean the windows every night and if she does, you'll have a talk with the neighbor. Then after a week when she asks you why you haven't spoken with the neighbor yet, take her to the car in the garage and have her get in the driver seat.  Put her hand on the wheel and say "now show me clean the windows".  She'll cut that wheel so nice that when she backs out she won't come within 10 feet of that other car. 
Click to expand...
:doh:  Epic Garage Parking Fail

 
I read this thread and weep at the ####ification of American men. If you're afraid of your wife, why get married?

 
Is it just me? I think the parking issue is really a symptom of something much bigger. There is a demeaning feel to your OP.  I also see demeaning language in your poll choices. Start hiding the money. 

 
tommyboy said:
I read this thread and weep at the ####ification of American men. If you're afraid of your wife, why get married?
Click to expand...
I read your post and weep at the lack of reading comprehension in America.  

I've been crystal clear that I've refused her demand for me to confront our neighbor, I've told her that she's the one being unreasonable, and I never back down from her irrational demands because I don't want to set a precedent.   

I just wanted to get an FFA ruling of whether I was the one in the wrong.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
Like this...

http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/42e79eff4f5147f9b5ebc2519ddae703/car-parked-outside-garage-with-request-of-no-parking-adtpbg.jpg

The distance from the street to the garage door in that picture is about the length of our very short driveways.  May neighbor parks like that car so that half of his car is on the driveway (sidewalk in the picture) and half of his car is in the alley.
Click to expand...
Oh. Yeah, that's what your words described, but then I ended up picturing the back of the car jutting out into the alley. 

I don't see what the big deal would be to ask him to pull forward or back a bit when he parks so that he's not directly behind your driveway in the alley. Or just warn him that your wife sucks at driving, so it would probably be in his best interest to do so. 

Then invite him over for a drink. 

 
Gary Coal Man said:
I read your post and weep at the lack of reading comprehension in America.  

I've been crystal clear that I've refused her demand for me to confront our neighbor, I've told her that she's the one being unreasonable, and I never back down from her irrational demands because I don't want to set a precedent.   

I just wanted to get an FFA ruling of whether I was the one in the wrong.
Click to expand...
You're right. But then you talk like your gonna turn her car around every night. Which is it? Not so clear as you claim 

 
I voted for option 6.  What I don't get is why the neighbor doesn't just park in the garage.  Is his wife parked in there?

And your wife needs to man up and deal with the issue herself.

 
Be honest. Have a few beers with the guy and tell him your wife might hit his car if he leaves it there, is there another option? Never know what might happen.

 
I voted the last option but I don't like the phrasing, your life does not sound horrible. Your wife just sounds like she is making a point to make a point, first with him now with you. Maybe on your side you should have dealt with it sooner and now she is hell bent to make you defend her. Problem is it sounds like the neighbors have their reasons just like you, you can't tell people their needs are less important than yours and to inconvenience themselves just so your wife is not inconvenienced. Your wife sounds like she lacks some empathy here. Hell she lacks empathy for putting you in this situation.

Usually the way this works is wife talks to wife, where is the other wife in this situation?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Gary Coal Man said:
Like this...

http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/42e79eff4f5147f9b5ebc2519ddae703/car-parked-outside-garage-with-request-of-no-parking-adtpbg.jpg

The distance from the street to the garage door in that picture is about the length of our very short driveways.  May neighbor parks like that car so that half of his car is on the driveway (sidewalk in the picture) and half of his car is in the alley.
Click to expand...
This is not quite like I pictured but I still don't see a problem. In life cars parked behind your driveway is just something you deal with.

Question - is there a 'no parking' sign like in that pic?

 
Hmm, really tough spot here. Technically the wife is right (in the sense that the guy is parking somewhere that is technically not allowed) but the only reason its an issue is because she is a lousy driver. The excuse about wanting to "shield your daughter from the elements" is hilarious. In case she hasn't heard, 4 year olds in neighboring Ohio fall 15 feet into gorilla moats and learn to tell the tale.

You know your wife better than us, if you anticipated that your original declination would just result in further nagging on the issue, you probably should have just casually brought it up the neighbor. He's a guy, so he gets that women are irrational and emotional creatures. If you just asked him to do you a solid and move his car (to save you aggravation and him an inevitable trip to the body shop) he probably would have been happy to comply. You could have just given him an "I owe you one" and done him a big favor in return at some point down the road. It could have been done in a totally non-adversarial way.

The problem is that you've now made it adversarial with your wife. So now if you do it, she "wins". If you had just brought it up to him in the first place (again, as a casual favor request from a friend/neighbor you are friendly with) it would have been no problem. But now if you ask, your wife will see it as her "beating" you and you "manning up" too confront the neighbor you are "afraid of". Double loss for you. 

Under no circumstance would I start turning around  your wife's car for her. That's the ultimate ##### move.

All that being said, I think at this point, just casually asking the guy to move his car is the lesser of 2 evils. Yeah, you "lose" to your wife, but all that's injured is your pride. You'll have plenty of other opportunities in the future to regain hand in the relationship. Make it EXTREMELY clear that the only reason you're doing it is because you don't want to deal with her spastic ### backing into your neighbor's car. Because that's really the nightmare scenario here. In that scenario, you're dealing with 2 damaged cars (one of which will probably have your kid in the back seat at the time of collision) , a potentially pissed of neighbor and an emotional wife screaming "I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!!!!" and holding it over your head for the next 2 years.

Sucky hand here, but ya gotta play the cards you've been dealt. In this situation, you've already lost, you just don't know how badly yet. Your only option is to do everything you can to frame it as "I'm doing this because you're a sucky driver and a lunatic" rather than "sigh.....yes dear" and cut your losses.

edit: The best option for you is to continue to push the idea of switching parking spots. 4 year olds throughout history have survived far worse than a 15 foot walk in the rain/snow and its probably your only way of "winning" this battle. She's dug in at this point, so she probably won't ever relent (for the same reasons you haven't. She doesn't want to set precedent. God relationships are so stupid), but its the best case scenario

 
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Gary Coal Man said:
I read your post and weep at the lack of reading comprehension in America.  

I've been crystal clear that I've refused her demand for me to confront our neighbor, I've told her that she's the one being unreasonable, and I never back down from her irrational demands because I don't want to set a precedent.   

I just wanted to get an FFA ruling of whether I was the one in the wrong.
Click to expand...
Isn't your answer right here.  You've obviously stood up to her before and things settled themselves out.  This is just one more iteration in the system you've already established. 

Regardless, it sounds like your relationship with the neighbor is decent.  I'd suggest taking him out for a drink and explaining it to him like he's a friend who could be of help.  I imagine he'd understand your predicament and try to be of assistance.  If not, no biggie.  Go into it with no expectations other than you appeased your wife by talking to him but there's nothing you could do and that she needs to be more reasonable.  

 
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Quez said:
OPs wife sounds like a passive aggressive bully.  "Pansy"... really?
Click to expand...
Technically, she called me a #####, but this board doesn't allow ##### so I edited it to the clean version equivalent of pansy.  Same first letter and same two last letters.

 
Captain Cranks said:
Isn't your answer right here.  You've obviously stood up to her before and things settled themselves out.  This is just one more iteration in the system you've already established. 

Regardless, it sounds like your relationship with the neighbor is decent.  I'd suggest taking him out for a drink and explaining it to him like he's a friend who could be of help.  I imagine he'd understand your predicament and try to be of assistance.  If not, no biggie.  Go into it with no expectations other than you appeased your wife by talking to him but there's nothing you could do and that she needs to be more reasonable.  
Click to expand...
Sounds exceptionally reasonable.  In other words, something my wife will reject.

 
Willie Neslon said:
Do one of those Mr. Myagi deals.  Have your wife clean the windows every night and if she does, you'll have a talk with the neighbor. Then after a week when she asks you why you haven't spoken with the neighbor yet, take her to the car in the garage and have her get in the driver seat.  Put her hand on the wheel and say "now show me clean the windows".  She'll cut that wheel so nice that when she backs out she won't come within 10 feet of that other car. 
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  

 
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