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Dispute With My Wife. I'll Do What The FFA Rules. (1 Viewer)

(Read the facts in the first post before voting.) What should I do?

  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, and you're wrong

    Votes: 14 4.4%
  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, but she's right that a hus

    Votes: 11 3.5%
  • Ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is wrong about the parking, wrong about a husband alwa

    Votes: 63 19.9%
  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but it's h

    Votes: 14 4.4%
  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is right about the parking situation, but you ca

    Votes: 3 0.9%
  • Don't ask your neighbor to move his car. Your wife is dead wrong, and your life sounds horrible.

    Votes: 211 66.8%

  • Total voters
    316
I've never had an HOA. Do they identify who filed the complaint? If the complaint was more of a general "several people are violating the parking rules in this alley" would they even know that the complaint came from the wife? They may just send a letter to everyone about the issue reminding them of the parking rules.

Not that I think that is the right way to go, but I don't understand why people are so adamantly against going to the HOA. 

 
HOAs do not release who filed the complaint. It can be a plus or a minus. Protects folks that file complaints, but also makes it impossible to resolve disputes.

 
I've never had an HOA. Do they identify who filed the complaint? If the complaint was more of a general "several people are violating the parking rules in this alley" would they even know that the complaint came from the wife? They may just send a letter to everyone about the issue reminding them of the parking rules.

Not that I think that is the right way to go, but I don't understand why people are so adamantly against going to the HOA. 


It doesn't matter if they know or not, it's simple courtesy to talk to your neighbor about a complaint before you escalate.   That said,  two people seem to be in violation of this rule, so if someone complains you can pretty much narrow it down to 2 people (the ones behind them that it effects) and since one person just altered their behavior and started parking there recently (after already being asked not to and complying for several months), you have about a 90% certainty of who made the complaint.  

 
And I'm starting to agree with the wife.  Maybe GCM is a #####, because all he really has to do is tell the neighbor the situation.  He'll understand.  At worst it'll go like this
No, she originally called me a ##### because she thought I was simply afraid to confront him.  The reality is that I didn't want to confront him because I agreed with him and didn't thinking parking there was a big deal.  When I let my wife know the truth of why I didn't want to confront him wasn't fear but agreement she just stuck with calling me a ##### because she was pissed, even if the ##### label didn't really apply.  Woman logic.

But even if I follow your strategy of talking to him, it doesn't solve anything.  If he doesn't agree to park elsewhere my wife will file the HOA complaint.  And if he does agree to move his car elsewhere he'll likely do so begrudgingly and will harbor some ill will toward my wife and by proxy me.  Really a no-win situation.

 
No, she originally called me a ##### because she thought I was simply afraid to confront him.  The reality is that I didn't want to confront him because I agreed with him and didn't thinking parking there was a big deal.  When I let my wife know the truth of why I didn't want to confront him wasn't fear but agreement she just stuck with calling me a ##### because she was pissed, even if the ##### label didn't really apply.  Woman logic.

But even if I follow your strategy of talking to him, it doesn't solve anything.  If he doesn't agree to park elsewhere my wife will file the HOA complaint.  And if he does agree to move his car elsewhere he'll likely do so begrudgingly and will harbor some ill will toward my wife and by proxy me.  Really a no-win situation.
If my wife repeatedly called me a #####, she'd be a very lonely woman very quickly.

 
HOAs do not release who filed the complaint. It can be a plus or a minus. Protects folks that file complaints, but also makes it impossible to resolve disputes.
The few places I've lived, the HOA president has been a nosy, busybody, stay-at-home wife. So, even if there wasn't an official record of complainants released, I'd guess that they were readily available to anyone that wanted to know (and probably many that didn't care to know).

 
I do think it's a bit rude that the Russkie didn't talk to you all before parking in the alley again, since he was specifically requested to not do so in the past.

 
Almost 70% has told you to do nothing and your wife is wrong. Keep us updated.

this is one of those situations where you either let the wife hang herself or intervene and tell her she's crazy and just stop

 
No, she originally called me a ##### because she thought I was simply afraid to confront him.  The reality is that I didn't want to confront him because I agreed with him and didn't thinking parking there was a big deal.  When I let my wife know the truth of why I didn't want to confront him wasn't fear but agreement she just stuck with calling me a ##### because she was pissed, even if the ##### label didn't really apply.  Woman logic.

But even if I follow your strategy of talking to him, it doesn't solve anything.  If he doesn't agree to park elsewhere my wife will file the HOA complaint.  And if he does agree to move his car elsewhere he'll likely do so begrudgingly and will harbor some ill will toward my wife and by proxy me.  Really a no-win situation.
Then you don't know what a win is in this situation. 

 
My wife says to tell your wife that she has a problem, she has to deal with it.  And to get your wife driving lessons.

 
Have you or your wife already spoken to your neighbor?

You mentioned drinking beers with him so it seems this is an easy problem to solve.  Just explain that your wife is a poor driver, has a difficult time backing out of the garage so could he allow her more space.  He will move his car after that. 

 
I fully admit, I'm surprised how many folks can't seem to grasp the concept that there are simply bad drivers out there. I see it all the time. Usually older or Asian women, sure. But there are bad drivers of all ilk. Saying "teach your wife to drive" and other such comments actually seem pretty asinine to me. The fact is that, in all likelihood, if the neighbor continues to park his car the way he is now, it is only a matter of time before she backs in to. It's inevitable. Can't wait to see how THAT conversation with the neighbor goes.

 
But even if I follow your strategy of talking to him, it doesn't solve anything.  If he doesn't agree to park elsewhere my wife will file the HOA complaint.  And if he does agree to move his car elsewhere he'll likely do so begrudgingly and will harbor some ill will toward my wife and by proxy me.  Really a no-win situation.
If you had done it from day 1, like a non-##### would do, you would've been able to tell your wife that you spoke to him and you probably would not be this deep in the conflict as you are.  The guy has been begrudgingly moving it for a year already, that ill will is already there.  If your wife files the complaint, and you've spoken to him, at least he will sort be expecting it and it won't be a total blindside smack in the face.  So far your strategy has been be a ##### and how far it's gotten you is further in the mud.  You don't have to agree with or take your wife's side, just present your neighbor with the reality of the situation.  Which you should've done at the first opportunity and having not makes you look like a #####.  

 
Have you or your wife already spoken to your neighbor?

You mentioned drinking beers with him so it seems this is an easy problem to solve.  Just explain that your wife is a poor driver, has a difficult time backing out of the garage so could he allow her more space.  He will move his car after that. 
wrong answer.   tell the wife to grow up, go drink with the neighbor

 
bueno said:
My wife says to tell your wife that she has a problem, she has to deal with it.  And to get your wife driving lessons.


:lol:  my wife said the same thing and she's a terrible driver
I never, and I mean never, discuss what is discussed over here with my wife. What the heck is wrong with you guys? This forum is like a den of inequity that doesn't give me a divorce or a venereal disease.

 
cockroach said:
Need an update here.
Alright, here we go.

I still haven't talked to the Ruskie.  Three reasons: (1) I work long hours; (2) He works longs hours; and (3) I'm secretly a #####.

I did, however, get some pictures that will allow you to visualize the situation.

-- You'll see a pic of the "alley" and how another neighbor parks the same way as my neighbor.  In this pic you'll see my open garage door directly across from my neighbor's white truck.   (The black truck further down the alley in this pic is not usually parked there.  They were some illegals in the neighborhood to do yard work.)

-- You'll see a close up of my neighbors truck to show how he tries to park mainly on his property, but about half his car trickles onto the street.

-- Finally, you'll see the vantage point from my wife's car door to get a precise idea of why she thinks it's impossible (IMPOSSIBLE!) to back out of the garage without nearly hitting the neighbor's car.

Enjoy.

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/Gary_Long_Dong/library/?view=recent&page=1

 
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:lmao:  Good lord she can't be serious. If she's so afraid of the turn just tell her to back straight back onto the neighbor's blacktop then make the turn. 

ETA: your wife would have zero chance in South Philly. Show her this picture http://bicyclecoalition.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Pilot.1-1024x617.jpg and tell her she should be so lucky. (and that's a bigger street. The side streets only go two cars wide. http://fiatwiki.com/fiatdealer/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/parking-your-car-in-philadelphia-is-never-a-problem-for-fiat-owners.jpg:lol:  

 
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This seems like madness, I'm not even sure I could bring myself to raise this with a neighbor either.

Btw parking on the curb like that is standard on many, many streets across America. He's doing well to get up on the curb, looks like he's doing what he can. He's doing nothing wrong.

 
Regarding the neighbor though, why doesn't he half park on his blacktop instead of his grass? I assume someone else is using his garage? 

 
I know it's been said a lot, but you should keep the HOA out at all cost.  One of my best friends bought a house and his neighborhood was part of a HOA.  When I was helping him move in, his next door neighbor greeted us and not five minutes into talking brought up a HOA war with someone across the street and how that other house is friends with the HOA board director.  After his neighbor initially made a complaint, the neighbor (who knew some big wigs on the HOA), started complaining on every knit picky thing in the neighborhood.  Fences, grass height, paint colors, lawn ornaments and landscaping, etc.  I'm still a young guy so I didn't even know what the hell an HOA really was at the time.  But it was a mess.  

My fiancé likes parking in the garage as well.  I think it's more of a comfort thing as it's connected to the house more than the excuse she gave but a lot of women prefer the garage as it also keeps her car cleaner and cooler.  I would show her ways to help back out of the driveway.  Next time you are drinking a couple beers with your neighbor bring it up.  I wouldn't ask him to move it but let him know she is having trouble backing up.  Maybe he will try to pull forward a few more inches when he parks afterwards.   He also might have his own reason and you can use that as ammo when you tell your wife he isn't moving but will try to give her more room.  

 
Regarding the neighbor though, why doesn't he half park on his blacktop instead of his grass? I assume someone else is using his garage? 
 I assume he parks clear of the garage entrance to allow his wife to enter and leave without him having to move his car.

 
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Alright, here we go.

I still haven't talked to the Ruskie.  Three reasons: (1) I work long hours; (2) He works longs hours; and (3) I'm secretly a #####.

I did, however, get some pictures that will allow you to visualize the situation.

-- You'll see a pic of the "alley" and how another neighbor parks the same way as my neighbor.  In this pic you'll see my open garage door directly across from my neighbor's white truck.   (The black truck further down the alley in this pic is not usually parked there.  They were some illegals in the neighborhood to do yard work.)

-- You'll see a close up of my neighbors truck to show how he tries to park mainly on his property, but about half his car trickles onto the street.

-- Finally, you'll see the vantage point from my wife's car door to get a precise idea of why she thinks it's impossible (IMPOSSIBLE!) to back out of the garage without nearly hitting the neighbor's car.

Enjoy.

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/Gary_Long_Dong/library/?view=recent&page=1


does she have a coffee in one hand, her phone in the other, jack it in reverse, punch the gas and pray? 

 
Alright, here we go.

I still haven't talked to the Ruskie.  Three reasons: (1) I work long hours; (2) He works longs hours; and (3) I'm secretly a #####.

I did, however, get some pictures that will allow you to visualize the situation.

-- You'll see a pic of the "alley" and how another neighbor parks the same way as my neighbor.  In this pic you'll see my open garage door directly across from my neighbor's white truck.   (The black truck further down the alley in this pic is not usually parked there.  They were some illegals in the neighborhood to do yard work.)

-- You'll see a close up of my neighbors truck to show how he tries to park mainly on his property, but about half his car trickles onto the street.

-- Finally, you'll see the vantage point from my wife's car door to get a precise idea of why she thinks it's impossible (IMPOSSIBLE!) to back out of the garage without nearly hitting the neighbor's car.

Enjoy.

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/Gary_Long_Dong/library/?view=recent&page=1
I can't believe you had time to take those pictures and you still haven't given your neighbor a blue dot.  You obviously like him better than your wife.

 
I only read your first post and then the last page to see where it came out, but I voted wrong.  Had voted that she was right but it's her battle, not yours, but after seeing the pictures, I'd like to vote that you're right and your wife needs a hobby or something.

 
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I only read your first post and then the last page to see where it came out, but I voted wrong.  Had voted that she was right but it's her battle, not yours, but after seeing the pictures, I'd like to vote that you're right and your wife needs a hobby or something.
Ditto. I take back everything I said previously. There's simply no excuse for not being able to make that turn.

 
Alright, here we go.

I still haven't talked to the Ruskie.  Three reasons: (1) I work long hours; (2) He works longs hours; and (3) I'm secretly a #####.

I did, however, get some pictures that will allow you to visualize the situation.

-- You'll see a pic of the "alley" and how another neighbor parks the same way as my neighbor.  In this pic you'll see my open garage door directly across from my neighbor's white truck.   (The black truck further down the alley in this pic is not usually parked there.  They were some illegals in the neighborhood to do yard work.)

-- You'll see a close up of my neighbors truck to show how he tries to park mainly on his property, but about half his car trickles onto the street.

-- Finally, you'll see the vantage point from my wife's car door to get a precise idea of why she thinks it's impossible (IMPOSSIBLE!) to back out of the garage without nearly hitting the neighbor's car.

Enjoy.

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/Gary_Long_Dong/library/?view=recent&page=1
HFS. That is ridiculous.  :lmao:  If you had posted that in the beginning this thread would have been 1 page.  There's nothing to talk about. If your wife cannot maneuver the car in that situation, she shouldn't be on the roads. 

 
HFS. That is ridiculous.  :lmao:  If you had posted that in the beginning this thread would have been 1 page.  There's nothing to talk about. If your wife cannot maneuver the car in that situation, she shouldn't be on the roads. 
Yep.  She seriously needs driving lessons, for her sake as well as everyone else's.

 
That's more room than most parking lots offer.  She routinely hit the cars behind her when leaving shopping malls?

 
Yaknow I'm starting to think this is a ruse by the wife because she's really pissed you're going over to the neighbor's to get hammered and have a good time and leaving her behind.

 
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 No offense to anyone, but is your wife oriental by chance?  That is the only reason I can think of that she can't maneuver her car in and out of the garage with that much space.

Have you considered telling her that you don't think she should be driving either herself or your children anywhere as it simply isn't safe for her to be operating a car as evidenced by her concern over backing out of a huge garage space?

 

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