Don't Stop Dating Your Wife (1 Viewer)

[Joe Bryant]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

 

[Kanil]

Yeah but when I was dating my wife I dressed up for dates. Not 100% of the time. Most of the time I'd be in jeans and a t-shirt unless I was working, but when we went out I would throw on a button down. I still do that same thing except my jeans have been replaced with joggers.

That said, my wife and I have been married for 18 years and there's rarely a week where we don't go out, just the two of us, at least once. Dating your spouse is super important.

 

[El Floppo]

Holy hell... At a glance, I read the title as "don't stop beating your wife"

Happy to see I'm wrong. Carry on.

(And I agree with the premise)

 

[Zow]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

 

[DocHolliday]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

Same. Probably my biggest flaw and I have many.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

 

[Lehigh98]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

My wife (of 23 years) prefers just chilling at home (and not spending money), or maybe it's just inertia. When I do drag her out or plan nights out with friends, at the end of the night I get the "I'm glad we did this!". Oh yeah?.. make it a little easier next time.

 

[Zow]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

Oy, she must hate golf then.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

Oy, she must hate golf then.

I get the side eye look quite often.

 

[Major]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

I struggle with this a lot and that's just after dating a girl for a year. Good on you married guys who still keep up appearances and don't cheat on your wives

 

[SWC]

one hundred percent take that to the love bank bromigos

 

[Alex P Keaton]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

Yeah, I really like this advice. Basically another way of looking at it is “be the same person married as you were during courtship.”

That’s how my dad has always been wired — he’s a great role model as a dad and husband.

I’ve been consistent with my wife from day 1: there is stuff she cares about that I do not, but part of my commitment to her is to take seriously the things she cares about. And vice versa.

So while I think it’s absurd to dress up, if it matters to her that we get all fancy once in awhile — cool. I will do that for her.

Most importantly I try (most days, not all) to earn the right to still be her spouse. I’m definitely not perfect at that. But sincere effort counts.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Wifey and I like to go out often, but apart from that we try to do an hour of connection time each week. Sometimes it's a struggle finding that hour lol.

Basically we go out of the home, leave our phones behind, and go to either a coffee shop or wine bar. Not a meal - we want minimal interruptions.

Just a way to check in with each other. Sometimes there is something that needs to be discussed, it's important to make space for each other.

Mostly it's just a way to remain curious about each other.

 

[jwb]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

My wife and I both noticed how expensive almost any meal out has become. We used to do an every Saturday lunch date. Usually a brewpub or similar. We enjoyed it for years but the last year or two, we couldn't help but start thinking "we just paid $80 for essentially a burger and beer". Plus the food quality and service have really fallen off since Covid.

We nixed the meal out and instead started cooking together. Better food, and way cheaper. We have a lot of fun with it too - it's become a date. Married 25 years.

 

[nirad3]

Absolutely unequivocally know this is why my marriage has failed... because I did not heed this sage advice.

 

[Willie Neslon]

Don't Stop Dating Your Wife - One of my favorite Elton John songs.

 

[Zow]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

I struggle with this a lot and that's just after dating a girl for a year. Good on you married guys who still keep up appearances and don't cheat on your wives

I've never cheated on my wife nor do a plan to. But, with a time-consuming and stressful job and four kids, and the fact that I'm just not naturally a verbally complimentary person (because I don't need that myself), I know I drop the proverbial ball quite a bit when it comes to romance or whatever you want to call it. I do plan stuff and do a decent job remembering notable dates and am careful to prioritize them, but I am very bad at the day to day stuff like small gestures and compliments.

 

[Zow]

Wifey and I like to go out often, but apart from that we try to do an hour of connection time each week. Sometimes it's a struggle finding that hour lol.

Basically we go out of the home, leave our phones behind, and go to either a coffee shop or wine bar. Not a meal - we want minimal interruptions.

Just a way to check in with each other. Sometimes there is something that needs to be discussed, it's important to make space for each other.

Mostly it's just a way to remain curious about each other.

I like this idea a lot. Finding a babysitter is our current challenge for making this happen. My wife would love this, though.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

Same. Probably my biggest flaw and I have many.

It's a problem for most guys I think. Myself included.

But I think it's important.

Human emotions and attraction don't suddenly change once you're married. Of course there is commitment and integrity and faithfulness and all the important things.

But it's also easy for guys to get complacent and think they don't have to try anymore.

(And yes, I'm sure this can happen for wives as well but for this post, I'll stick to the topic of husbands)

I think some intentionality and effort go a long ways. Lots of good suggestions about simple stuff to show you care or want to spend time together. Doesn't need to be expensive or a ton of work.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Wifey and I like to go out often, but apart from that we try to do an hour of connection time each week. Sometimes it's a struggle finding that hour lol.

Basically we go out of the home, leave our phones behind, and go to either a coffee shop or wine bar. Not a meal - we want minimal interruptions.

Just a way to check in with each other. Sometimes there is something that needs to be discussed, it's important to make space for each other.

Mostly it's just a way to remain curious about each other.

I like this idea a lot. Finding a babysitter is our current challenge for making this happen. My wife would love this, though.

That's the thing, right? Most all of us know what to do. And what our spouse would like. It's just a matter of making it happen.

 

[Joe Bryant]

But sincere effort counts.

Wise words. I think it likely counts way more than people imagine.

 

[Brunell4MVP]

yeah, but when I dated my wife I liked her more

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I cherish my wife and make sure she knows that. She’s not the flowers type, so I have to show up for her in meaningful ways. I make her coffee every night so she doesn’t have to in the morning. When we go on vacation I will go get her coffee in the morning as well. Little Things like that matter.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

If you've never read The Five Love Languages I suggest you do.

 

[Drunken knight]

yeah...
approaching 30 yr in sept. so, while we will do a nice meal or two on the weekend, we often prefer take out (or home cooking) and streaming. We do not drink as much as we used to, but it allow for both of use to partake if we desire.

we try to mix it up with dates outside of the routine (ie: starting to go to more concerts, movies, wine tastings, etc)

 

[Atomic Punk]

For those concerned about money, date nights do not have to cost anything. It is about the effort, the time spent and the romance. Most of the dates nights with Mrs. Punk are relatively cheap. Long walks, an ice cream, a drive, making dinner at home while spinning some Van Morrison …. None of those will set you back much, but they are all meaningful to both of us.

 

[Mitchie]

Holy hell... At a glance, I read the title as "don't stop beating your wife"

Happy to see I'm wrong. Carry on.

(And I agree with the premise)

I read it the same but without the 'b'. I'll see my way out...

 

[Zow]

Joe, you inspired me - day date with the wife scheduled for this weekend.

 

[Zow]

yeah, but when I dated my wife I liked her more

My serious immediate thought on this is that I liked her more, but loved her less.

Hopefully that makes sense in the positive way I'm trying to explain it.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Joe, you inspired me - day date with the wife scheduled for this weekend.

 

[snogger]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

We've been Married 33 years. We have two different dates, Weekly and Monthly.
Weekly is out to lunch or dinner in town.
Once a Month we find something different to do.
We've gone to plays, comedy shows, dinner to "fancy" restaurants, etc.

Next month we are staying the night downtown Minneapolis so we can go to Puttery https://www.puttery.com/locations/minneapolis/ and enjoy the drinks and food without worrying about driving.

Keep the love and romance alive

 

[BeTheMatch]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

We've been Married 33 years. We have two different dates, Weekly and Monthly.
Weekly is out to lunch or dinner in town.
Once a Month we find something different to do.
We've gone to plays, comedy shows, dinner to "fancy" restaurants, etc.

Next month we are staying the night downtown Minneapolis so we can go to Puttery https://www.puttery.com/locations/minneapolis/ and enjoy the drinks and food without worrying about driving.

Keep the love and romance alive

Been to Puttery. Make sure you have other plans too - pretty brief.

 

[snogger]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

We've been Married 33 years. We have two different dates, Weekly and Monthly.
Weekly is out to lunch or dinner in town.
Once a Month we find something different to do.
We've gone to plays, comedy shows, dinner to "fancy" restaurants, etc.

Next month we are staying the night downtown Minneapolis so we can go to Puttery https://www.puttery.com/locations/minneapolis/ and enjoy the drinks and food without worrying about driving.

Keep the love and romance alive

Been to Puttery. Make sure you have other plans too - pretty brief.

That's what the room is for

 

[jhib]

Well, now I'm just glad when we were dating, I wasn't doing anything too special to try to impress her, but just being myself. Much easier to keep that up over the last 30+ years.

 

[jhib]

Also, applicable post by GregR

 

[BeTheMatch]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

We've been Married 33 years. We have two different dates, Weekly and Monthly.
Weekly is out to lunch or dinner in town.
Once a Month we find something different to do.
We've gone to plays, comedy shows, dinner to "fancy" restaurants, etc.

Next month we are staying the night downtown Minneapolis so we can go to Puttery https://www.puttery.com/locations/minneapolis/ and enjoy the drinks and food without worrying about driving.

Keep the love and romance alive

Been to Puttery. Make sure you have other plans too - pretty brief.

That's what the room is for

That sounds pretty brief too.

 

[Gatorade]

If you've never read The Five Love Languages I suggest you do.

Excellent read

 

[Gatorade]

I cherish my wife and make sure she knows that. She’s not the flowers type, so I have to show up for her in meaningful ways. I make her coffee every night so she doesn’t have to in the morning. When we go on vacation I will go get her coffee in the morning as well. Little Things like that matter.

I wake my wife up every morning with either a cup of coffee or tea. It's the little things that count. Hold the door for her or opening her car door. We have been married almost 45 years and we still go out on a date every week. We love to go out to dinner and sometimes we still go to the movies together. She likes it when I hold her hand when going for a walk in the neighborhood. We still love to go dancing but don't do it much anymore.

 

[Judge Smails]

Excellent post. Important for neither side to take the other for granted. We’ve been married 38 years. Empty nesters now so have more one on one time. We do go out for dinner 1-2 times a week and cook the rest. Pretty good about booking vacations, concerts and other nights out for fun. It is the day to day stuff I have to remember. Not always the most romantic slug. Similar to Woz

 

[Terminalxylem]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

Agree wholeheartedly with the OP, and I don’t think it only means spending $ on nights out. Most women love when a guy prepares a nice meal for them, for example. Or cook together, as others have suggested.

I think it’s really important not to “let yourself go” physically, get lazy with basic hygiene, and stop caring about doing romantic stuff. Not saying any of this applies to you specifically, but a lot of married guys transform/regress into lazy slobs.

I know there’s been threads about this, but the same logic applies to obnoxious bodily functions, which can been done discretely - hawk tuah, belching, and passing gas come to mind. Make the effort to show your partner some respect.

 

[-OZ-]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

We walk together most days. Free, healthy, and time just the two of us. While it might not be a fancy date, the time together is the point.
We have a hard time making other time together - 5 kids in the house 3 of which need our time more than the other two, work, volunteering, gym/training, etc take time and are all important to us.

 

[-OZ-]

Well, now I'm just glad when we were dating, I wasn't doing anything too special to try to impress her, but just being myself. Much easier to keep that up over the last 30+ years.

Joking, but really this is key. Start with low expectations and maintain!
Thankfully my wife is low maintenance, we just usually enjoy time together.

 

[Major]

Good point, Joe. I struggle with this a lot.

I struggle with this a lot and that's just after dating a girl for a year. Good on you married guys who still keep up appearances and don't cheat on your wives

I've never cheated on my wife nor do a plan to. But, with a time-consuming and stressful job and four kids, and the fact that I'm just not naturally a verbally complimentary person (because I don't need that myself), I know I drop the proverbial ball quite a bit when it comes to romance or whatever you want to call it. I do plan stuff and do a decent job remembering notable dates and am careful to prioritize them, but I am very bad at the day to day stuff like small gestures and compliments.

I wasn't implicating you GB but glad to hear you're solid. I think it's fine not showering your significant other with compliments daily as it'll eventually lose some of the luster. I'd argue throwing them in out of nowhere may have just as positive of an effect as someone who does it everyday. I think the important thing is just to be mindful and not to forget the little things.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

I think the thought might be better expressed as "Don't stop wooing your wife".

 

[Judge Smails]

Tell it to my wife. If we shoot the lock off our wallets and go out to eat...WE SPEND THAT MONEY NOW WE MIGHT END UP LIVING IN POVERTY IN OUR OLD AGE AND AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF THAT!?

Okay. Not quite that bad, but it's kind of that way.

We walk together most days. Free, healthy, and time just the two of us. While it might not be a fancy date, the time together is the point.
We have a hard time making other time together - 5 kids in the house 3 of which need our time more than the other two, work, volunteering, gym/training, etc take time and are all important to us.

We do a 45 minute walk every morning. Great way to get out, have conversations, set the day/week, stay connected, etc

 

[-OZ-]

I think the thought might be better expressed as "Don't stop wooing your wife".

My wife isn’t a Woo girl!

 

[gianmarco]

I think the thought might be better expressed as "Don't stop wooing your wife".

Agreed

 

[rockaction]

Agreed

Do that repeatedly on your date with your wife and get back me. Just in reaction to everything. Getting a table, being seated, getting the main course.

Just a big "Wooooo!"

I'm sure she'd appreciate it greatly.

Or do it like Pop Smoke

Meet the Woo

Pop Smoke · Meet The Woo · Song · 2019

open.spotify.com

 

[MTskibum]

I think the thought might be better expressed as "Don't stop wooing your wife".

My wife isn’t a Woo girl!

She must be a hollerback girl then?

 

[Todem]

A thought from the Do You Dress Your Age thread.

On dressing and the idea a single guy should dress differently than a married guy.

And to be clear, this is just my opinion. It may not be popular.

But I don't think you act any differently.

Meaning - Never stop dating your wife.

If you tried to be your best in the hopes she'd marry you, don't stop once you're married.

Dude are you asking me to stop farting in front of my wife.....I will literally explode if that happens......that's non negotiable.

But the rest I am cool with. We have a date night every weekend. Going on 26 years of a fantastic marriage. It's till death do us part......absolutely zero doubt.