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FFA Bored Games - 9/22 SHEEP IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK - Reveal and podium! (3 Viewers)

What the hell is so hard about slicing a banana?  Was there a bad infomercial for this thing where some dopey white chick fell down trying to cut a banana and magically, Banana Slicer Man appeared to save the day?

Seriously, I need to know this history of this thing because it looks like the dumbest - has to be American - thing ever invented.

 
hagmania said:
What's the most worthless appliance, tool or utensil in your kitchen?

Bull Dozier    -    Pampered Chef peanut butter knife.  I know I won't get matches for this one, but it is horrible.  Please don't buy one.
Ned    -    Pairing knife
Galileo    -    Paring knife
Getzlaf15    -    tortilla press
Harry Manback    -    egg separator
IMAX 3D    -    my wife? Just kidding honey. I guess the meat tenderizer, assuming I still have one, not sure I've ever used it
rockaction    -    Meat thermometer
Worm    -    those stupid corn holder things
fatguyinalittlecoat    -    Wife
sho nuff    -    Other than my wife (Im the cook, she would agree with me on this).  Most useless would be toaster oven.  Why did I ever get one of those things.
scoobus    -    Blender
Maik Jeaunz    -    I'll go with pizza cutter because I never 'make' pizza, some other poor shlub brings it to me
Nick Vermeil    -    Mixer
Wingnut    -    hand held potato masher
Long Ball Larry    -    ESPRESSO MACHINE
El Floppo    -    my wife.

Yankee23Fan    -    The butter knife.  Butter itself can be cut with anything, but the butter knife has just that one use and is otherwise useless.  Go ahead and try to cut bread, good bread, with a butter knife - or any food worth eating.  I dare you.  Butter knives suck.  We give them to kids to make them think they have a real knife.  It's the cuck of knives.

WhatDoIKnow    -    Banana slicer - was a white elephant gift.
ShamrockPride    -    Brewing Kettle
IC FBGCav    -    Blender
belljr    -    Blender
AAABatteries    -    Corkscrew (we don't drink wine)
heckmanm    -    Garlic press
Fat Drunk and Stupid    -    Wife
VandyMan    -    egg beater
GAlmgren    -    Toaster oven
The Gator    -    Butter knife… just use a regular knife that you're likely already using anyway
Nipsey    -    Banana slicer
Bob Sacamano    -    My wif... uh... wif-i router, of course. Kitchen utensils and appliances are inherently useful.  I'm having a tough time with this one.  I think we still have an old egg timer that sits there and never gets used.  Apple corer/slicer.  You've got teeth, ffs.  Use them.  
EYLive    -    Wife
Matthias    -    Blender
Click to expand...
Nugget    -    Stand Mixer

 
Yankee23Fan said:
What the hell is so hard about slicing a banana?  Was there a bad infomercial for this thing where some dopey white chick fell down trying to cut a banana and magically, Banana Slicer Man appeared to save the day?

Seriously, I need to know this history of this thing because it looks like the dumbest - has to be American - thing ever invented.
Click to expand...
I'm gonna guess that you can buy one made out of olive wood and pewter at Williams Sonoma for $79.95.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
What the hell is so hard about slicing a banana?  Was there a bad infomercial for this thing where some dopey white chick fell down trying to cut a banana and magically, Banana Slicer Man appeared to save the day?

Seriously, I need to know this history of this thing because it looks like the dumbest - has to be American - thing ever invented.
Click to expand...
seriously. what's so GD hard about slicing a banana?

 
Never do anything that's marginally useful that creates a dish you need to wash and won't.

 
What's the most worthless appliance, tool or utensil in your kitchen?

Wife - 4 [hoo boy, you guys should sign up to sit next to Charles Nelson Reilly and Rhett Butler]
Blender - 4
Paring/Pairing Knife - 2 [LOOK AT THE GENEROUS HOST]
Toaster Oven - 2 [WTF this thing is great]
Butter Knife - 2 [Peanut Butter knife - 0]
Banana Slicer - 2
Mixers - 2

The rest - as valuable as those guys' wives.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Leaderboard

fatguyinalittlecoat    -    4
scoobus    -    4
El Floppo    -    4
IC FBGCav    -    4
belljr    -    4
Fat Drunk and Stupid    -    4
EYLive    -    4
Matthias    -    4
Ned    -    2
Galileo    -    2
sho nuff    -    2
Nick Vermeil    -    2
Yankee23Fan    -    2
WhatDoIKnow    -    2
GAlmgren    -    2
The Gator    -    2
Nipsey    -    2
Nugget    -    2
Bull Dozier    -    0
Getzlaf15    -    0
Harry Manback    -    0
IMAX 3D    -    0
rockaction    -    0
Worm    -    0
Maik Jeaunz    -    0
Wingnut    -    0
Long Ball Larry    -    0
ShamrockPride    -    0
AAABatteries    -    0
heckmanm    -    0
VandyMan    -    0
Bob Sacamano    -    0

 
From now on, when I want to insult someone on this board, I'm just going to mention in the post somewhere, "yeah, I bet you own a banana slicer."

That's it.  Will be totally out of context.  But I will get it.  And I will giggle every damn time.

 
2. Name a social media platform that you just don't "get".

Bull Dozier    -    Snapchat.  It is the only one I can keep it touch with my kids with, but I don't know why I have to Snap them instead of text them to get a response.
Ned    -    Snapchat
Galileo    -    Snapchat
Getzlaf15    -    instigram
Harry Manback    -    instagram
IMAX 3D    -    Vine
rockaction    -    Snapchat
Worm    -    The Facebook
fatguyinalittlecoat    -    Pinterest
sho nuff    -    Instagram, its bascially facebook except it randomly chooses what order I want to see crap from people I don't even want to see stuff from.
scoobus    -    Snapchat
Maik Jeaunz    -    with my sheep hat on, I'll say Snapchat
Nick Vermeil    -    Snapchat
Wingnut    -    Snapchat
Long Ball Larry    -    INSTAGRAM
El Floppo    -    facebook

Yankee23Fan    -    "Honestly, at this point all of them.  I don't want to know what my cousin who I haven't talked to in 5 years is having for lunch, or the seven things that make these life hacks life changing - and yes, I will believe #4 is something a stupid person would be surprised at, I really don't need pictures of family members all over Instagram like I care about their kids eating ice cream, playing with sand at the beach and for god's sake I don't need your message of strength for the day that you just needed to share with everyone so that it looks like you are some kind of Buddhist Christian Vegan Poet.  Oh, and while we are on the subject - you idiots that post bible verses?  Yeah, you know who you are.  Die in an apostolic fire of evil and sin.  Oh look, my cousin is having steak tonight.  Good for her. Look hun, that site you followed is actually soft core porn and not daily workouts for housewives...yes I'm sure.  No, humping the wall in a bikini while eating a banana is not ""good for a preworkout stretch,""..... or maybe it is.  Who knows anymore.

Sorry you need a real answer.  Let's go with Facebook.  Facebook sucks on every level of suck ever sucked by suckers who suck things that suck.  And they are all Russian bots.  At this point there are 10 people on Facebook.  Zuckerberg, my mother, that one chick from church who thinks her coffee drinking habits are life changing, and 7 fat guys in a basement in Moscow."

WhatDoIKnow    -    Instagram - Isn't this just pictures?
ShamrockPride    -    Pinterest
IC FBGCav    -    Snapchat
belljr    -    All of them? I'll say twitter
AAABatteries    -    Snapchat
heckmanm    -    Snapchat
Fat Drunk and Stupid    -    Grinder
VandyMan    -    Snapchat
GAlmgren    -    Pinterest
The Gator    -    Snapchat
Nipsey    -    Facebook
Bob Sacamano    -    My daughter spends way too much time on Pinterest, but I wonder if people bother to go outside Facebook, IG, and Twitter.  Maybe Reddit?  Are Reddit and Pinterest even technically considered social media by most?  I think there's enough anti-FB sentiment that people say it.  Facebook.
EYLive    -    Snapchat
Matthias    -    Instagram. Heterosexuality is holding me back, I'm sure.
Nugget    -    Snapchat

 
No, seriously. That banana slicer commercial is the most awesome homemade video commercial done by an accountant who thinks he's an investor that I've seen all day.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
From now on, when I want to insult someone on this board, I'm just going to mention in the post somewhere, "yeah, I bet you own a banana slicer."

That's it.  Will be totally out of context.  But I will get it.  And I will giggle every damn time.
Click to expand...
dumb dumb no know how slice nana.  

 
Matthias said:
And what if you don't have a dishwasher, fancy man!

I legit had cobwebs in my sink in my last apartment.
Click to expand...
Dishes, lawn mowing, and beer retrieval are the only legitimate reasons to have kids, so I guess that.  Otherwise, your whole kitchen is useless.  Just eat out. 

 
Bob Sacamano said:
Dishes, lawn mowing, and beer retrieval are the only legitimate reasons to have kids, so I guess that.  Otherwise, your whole kitchen is useless.  Just eat out. 
Click to expand...
Seamless Web. Order on the way home. Have it there when you arrive. Never use sink. Let spiders stake a claim on the territory.

 
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