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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (18 Viewers)

Fat Drunk and Stupid said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Youngest turns 21 today. Took him to BWW and we had a beer. Then all his buddies showed up so I gave them the table. I'm off to the side doing work on my iPad. Ballin
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Send the table several shots of well whiskey
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I don't think most of his friends drink...which is a good thing I guess.

Uruk-Hai said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Youngest turns 21 today. Took him to BWW and we had a beer. Then all his buddies showed up so I gave them the table. I'm off to the side doing work on my iPad. Ballin
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You still there? Can I call in a beer for you guys?
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Thanks, man. I'm on my way out unfortunately.

 
Found out that giraffes are pretty kinky. Today at the zoo, one of them started peeing. Another one lowered his head waaaaayyy down, and proceeded to drink from it like it was a urine fountain.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Today had to be the oddest wedding I've ever been to in a Catholic church. It wasn't a traditional wedding, THANK YOU LORD, but more of a quick service. Back in my day the Lics wouldn't even consider such a thing.

There were two readings and Pep did one of them. I had Dyl under my left arm all snuggled up and hating life because, you know, church, and Cal was on my right. Her passage was the one about how Adam was lonely so God turned his rib into a woman. Cal was grinning ear-to-ear and looking at me. As the reading went on he began shaking his head then burying his face in his hands. He then turns to me and says "they must have gotten this crap from some shady website".
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Cal is Fing smart.
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He has his moments.
 
St. Louis Bob said:
If you bothered to read my post a couple of days ago, my nephew married a Chinesed gal. Cal kept saying stuff like "these grapes...they look a little different. Are these Chinese grapes?". The napkins were fan folded on the table, something he has never seen before, and he remarks "Those are napkins?! I really like the way the Chinese fold their napkins!". He wasn't trying to be funny but was killing me. I finally had to tell him to tone it down. I seriously made an effort to try and impress the new FIL considering who he is.
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"Considering who he is"?

Is he an elder in the Triads or something?

 
Annyong said:
bentley said:
AngryWife off getting her hair cut and colored. It takes hours and costs piles of money. I have to believe that she's really at a strip club or something.
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Hair Salons, or Saloons, or whatever they call them, are ridiculous. The gf was wanting to dye her hair some new hipsterish light pink or something. I said sure because I always wanted to bang someone with crazy colored hair, so I gave her my card. She looked pretty hot and it was fun. About 3 weeks later and it is completely faded away along with my $210.
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Wife 2.0 got her hair colored and a bunch of other things I don't even know what they are. Her stylist also managed to sell her some extensions to wear to this wedding we went to yesterday. Then she left a big tip because her stylist is having financial problems. I am not even going to say how much it all came to, because it is so embarrassing, but we could have gone away for a nice weekend somewhere for the price.

 
Abraham said:
bentley said:
Annyong said:
bentley said:
AngryWife off getting her hair cut and colored. It takes hours and costs piles of money. I have to believe that she's really at a strip club or something.
Click to expand...
Hair Salons, or Saloons, or whatever they call them, are ridiculous. The gf was wanting to dye her hair some new hipsterish light pink or something. I said sure because I always wanted to bang someone with crazy colored hair, so I gave her my card. She looked pretty hot and it was fun. About 3 weeks later and it is completely faded away along with my $210.
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Hope it was worth it.This one took three hours and I didn't dare to ask about the cost. There's now some dark brown underneath and blonde on top. And, we are paying the lady more next Friday to come fix it for a gala that we are going to that night.
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Sorry to break it to you but the dark underneath and blonde on top is called the Hombre look. Seriously.
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Shtick?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ombré

 
I've heard of that Ombre thing because my wife went to go dye her hair and her hair lady said "Oh the Ombre look is so in right now and you have it naturally" so she said ok cool and then died it something else.

 
RedmondLonghorn said:
St. Louis Bob said:
If you bothered to read my post a couple of days ago, my nephew married a Chinesed gal. Cal kept saying stuff like "these grapes...they look a little different. Are these Chinese grapes?". The napkins were fan folded on the table, something he has never seen before, and he remarks "Those are napkins?! I really like the way the Chinese fold their napkins!". He wasn't trying to be funny but was killing me. I finally had to tell him to tone it down. I seriously made an effort to try and impress the new FIL considering who he is.
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"Considering who he is"?

Is he an elder in the Triads or something?
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He is the governor of some province. Very powerful from what I understand. Considering he has 4 kids including 3 daughters, I believe this. Oh and he owns a steel mill.
 
St. Louis Bob said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
St. Louis Bob said:
If you bothered to read my post a couple of days ago, my nephew married a Chinesed gal. Cal kept saying stuff like "these grapes...they look a little different. Are these Chinese grapes?". The napkins were fan folded on the table, something he has never seen before, and he remarks "Those are napkins?! I really like the way the Chinese fold their napkins!". He wasn't trying to be funny but was killing me. I finally had to tell him to tone it down. I seriously made an effort to try and impress the new FIL considering who he is.
Click to expand...
"Considering who he is"?Is he an elder in the Triads or something?
Click to expand...
He is the governor of some province. Very powerful from what I understand. Considering he has 4 kids including 3 daughters, I believe this. Oh and he owns a steel mill.
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4 kids? What a ####ssssssssy!

 
Going to a pool party with some of the wife's friends today

One girl is so pale she makes GM look like George Hamilton

It's going to be so hot I expected her to immediately burn up...like a marshmallow dropped in a campfire

 
I had some steak left over from last night

Sliced it real thin and splashed it with some Worcestershire sauce

Heated it up this morning and made a steak and cheese bagel with it

 
Made some breakfast tacos. Bacon with garlic salt and crushed red pepper, sausage, scrambled eggs with orange peppers, onions and some garlic salt, on top of fancy corn tortillas.

 
I have been peeing in a jug all day and storing it in my fridge until it goes to the lab tomorrow. :oldunsure:

The jug holds three liters and is currently at 2.1 or so. I was given no instruction as to what to do if I top this thing off in less than 24 hours. :lmao:

 
kevzilla said:
I have been peeing in a jug all day and storing it in my fridge until it goes to the lab tomorrow. :oldunsure:

The jug holds three liters and is currently at 2.1 or so. I was given no instruction as to what to do if I top this thing off in less than 24 hours. :lmao:
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Pour it on your t shirt and then wrap the shirt around your head Bedouin style. That could save your life.

Sorry, my kid has been watching Man vs Wild all day.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
kevzilla said:
I have been peeing in a jug all day and storing it in my fridge until it goes to the lab tomorrow. :oldunsure:

The jug holds three liters and is currently at 2.1 or so. I was given no instruction as to what to do if I top this thing off in less than 24 hours. :lmao:
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Pour it on your t shirt and then wrap the shirt around your head Bedouin style. That could save your life.Sorry, my kid has been watching Man vs Wild all day.
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Stan tried the pee hat thing and it didn't work.

 
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