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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (6 Viewers)

For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
"I'm sorry I jizzed my feelings, I guess."

 
Back when we were going through fertility stuff, I dropped off a lot of samples. Luckily they always supplied a brown paper bag to put them in.

One Sunday morning we had a time change and the lock on the front door of the building hadn't reset, so nobody could get in. So I'm loitering around in the parking lot with a cup full of my own jizz with about a half dozen other guys in the exact same situationwaiting on the place to open. Awkward silence filled the air. What in the world can you talk about in that situation?

 
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Back when we were going through fertility stuff, I dropped off a lot of samples. Luckily they always supplied a brown paper bag to put them in.

One Sunday morning we had a time change and the lock on the front door of the building hadn't reset, so nobody could get in. So I'm loitering around in the parking lot with a cup full of my own jizz with about a half dozen other guys in the exact same situationwaiting on the place to open. Awkward silence filled the air. What in the world can you talk about in that situation?
hmmm... I had to go to the fertility doc's office to do the whole thing, soup to nuts... so to speak. getting the call- in a packed waiting room- that you're up... so to speak... and then making that slow walk to the jack room and back. fun.

 
Mr. Pickles said:
General Malaise said:
Cos has an office?
Was a little surprised as well. I assumed he was a trust fund kind of guy.
Seriously? I plugged along until uhem got me into my old house, then i parlayed that into being a .8millionaire. Nobody ever gave me squat

 
Mr. Pickles said:
General Malaise said:
Cos has an office?
Was a little surprised as well. I assumed he was a trust fund kind of guy.
AUSTIN (KXAN) Austin police officers are looking for a someone who shot and killed a man in South Austin early Thursday morning.

Police say a man in his 50s was shot at the Absolute Stor-N-Lock storage facility in the 1600 block of Matthews Lane. The call came in to officers from several witnesses around 1:08 a.m.

The victim was taken to the hospital where he died a short time later. Police say the suspect took off on a motorcycle and they are actively searching for him at this time.

The crime scene is currently secure and police tell KXAN they dont believe the public is in any danger. However, if you see anything suspicious you are asked to call police.
Office, huh?
Its an old portable bank building. Two doors, 200 sf, a bathroom and six bulletproof windows plopped down between a bunch of low rent storage storage units. Beyond unassuming, like where you see mob guys officed up in the movies or The Wire. I love it.
How often does the train come by?
Whenever I'm on the phone

 
The resident old fat #### in Sales sent our buy rate to a customer as a proposal.

He emailed to ask for pricing on something. Not sure why he didn't ask his manager who sits 15 feet away, has shared the price book with him, has shown about eight times where it is on DropBox cloud storage, but whatever. I was in meetings and not monitoring emails. Somebody in Operations was CCed and so they pulled up the last price sheet they had (superceded, new COGS is higher.) Sent it to resident fat #### with the caveat "These are old prices, you'll want to confirm with Finance. Also, this is our cost - I'm not sure what our markup is." Resident fat #### forwarded it to the prospect from his iPhone 20 seconds later.

:confetti:
Please forward his next communication with the client.
It started out with I'm sorry. He was kind enough to not only send the revised retail pricing, but also our revised COGS and margin.Not. Making. This. Up.
Guy should be fired or demoted
I just paid him a $2K referral bonus for recommending another Sales guy. They started 2/1 and 3/1, respectively, with a three month ramp. Each has 10-15 years experience in the industry.

Neither one of them has come within a country mile of their monthly quota.

 
Apparently they haven't learned squat in 15 yrs cuz that's a rookie mistake. I'd move em in the basement and take their staplers

 
Have to empty my garage tomorrow and sat/sun. Its a detached old shed basically, maybe fit one car in it, built 1939. We've used it for storage of tools, wood, paint, etc... The thing is full and I have no idea to put half of it so I'll probably throw #### away. Theyre gonna demolish it Monday. Fml

 
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For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
:lmao:

 
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.





You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.



What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.



Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
The matter has been resolved.

 
Can anyone recommend really good Italian in the general vicinity of Time Square...?
I used to go to a place right near the Morgan Stanley building, but it appeas to be gone.

Are you looking for red-sauce Italian or Northern Italian? And how close is "in the general vicinity"?

 
Can anyone recommend really good Italian in the general vicinity of Time Square...?
I used to go to a place right near the Morgan Stanley building, but it appeas to be gone.

Are you looking for red-sauce Italian or Northern Italian? And how close is "in the general vicinity"?
esca is fantastic. 43rd and 9th. pretty sure it's one of the famous italian chef guys behind it. mario battali, IIRC.

 
Can anyone recommend really good Italian in the general vicinity of Time Square...?
I used to go to a place right near the Morgan Stanley building, but it appeas to be gone.

Are you looking for red-sauce Italian or Northern Italian? And how close is "in the general vicinity"?
esca is fantastic. 43rd and 9th. pretty sure it's one of the famous italian chef guys behind it. mario battali, IIRC.
the other serious answer is Becco.

 
will have to give Becco a try... next time I'm dining in the theater district (which, sadly, is next to never).
I haven't been, but have been told it's good. I can't set foot it any Lidia Bastianich restaurant. Apparently she's a Croatian sellout. Thankfully that designation doesn't flow down to her son.

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
Easier to just have more kids IMO.

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
Easier to just have more kids IMO.
He's got a basketball lineup, what's next? Go for a baseball or football lineup?

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
Easier to just have more kids IMO.
He's got a basketball lineup, what's next? Go for a baseball or football lineup?
I think if you have enough of them, they just all take care of themselves. Like a self sustaining something-or-other.

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
I'm sorry, but stories like these just make me hope more awkward or difficult things happen to you so that we get more stories. :lmao:

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
Easier to just have more kids IMO.
He's got a basketball lineup, what's next? Go for a baseball or football lineup?
I think if you have enough of them, they just all take care of themselves. Like a self sustaining something-or-other.
My dad was #7 of 11 kids. They were spread out over like 25 years though, so by the time my dad was born my oldest aunts were already out of the house with kids of their own. If you double up like GM, then you might be able to achieve the self sustaining household.

I have a friend with 6 boys under 10 years old I think.

 
General Malaise said:
For those that don't venture much into the Vasectomy in the AM thread....

So............I dropped off my 'specimen' today. I *THOUGHT* I would just waltz in, knock three times on a secret door, hand off my deposit, and vacate like a guy robbing a bank. That's not what happened at all.

You have 60 minutes to load the cup and get it to the lab. From the moment I dribbled my venom into the plastic jar it felt like one of those movies where I was racing against a bomb timer and every possible obstacle that could stand in my way appeared out of no-where. Knocks on the bathroom door interrupting my solo dance? Check. My daughter wanting me to color with her before leaving the house? Check. Bad traffic? Check.

With 30 minutes to spare, I waltzed into the clinic, asked the front desk where I could drop off my 'sample' and was told to check in with the lab and have a seat. A seat??? Nobody told me about a seat. Certainly not a seat in a crowded waiting room where all eyes seemed to focus in on the clear ziplock bag containing a see-thru cup that wasn't holding much of anything except a small glob of splooge. I think I saw some woman clutch her daughter closer to her as if I was going to start throwing it around like Miggs from Silence of the Lambs.

What made matters worse was this high-strung bald dude who made a scene because he was waiting for TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES to get his blood drawn. Up and down he paced, yelling at the front desk, demanding to speak to - and I'm not making this up - an ombudsman. :lmao: I thought for years that was just some made up term by Mr. Pickles, but no no, this man repeated his request to speak to an ombudsman who could help advocate on his behalf. He made this commotion right in front of me, so whatever eyes were averted from my cup of goo were now squarely on the agitated man and the poor sonuvabeech behind him holding his jism.

Finally, a large lady emerged from the lab and in a voice that cut through fog said "FORREST!" I stood up, lowered my voice and said "hi, here's my sample", hoping she would pick up on the verbal cue to lower her voice. Oh no, Betty Humpter then blurted out for everybody to hear "WHEN DID YOU DO THE EJACULATION?" Ugh. I whispered out 7:45am and then hauled assssssss out of there. I contemplated kicking over a rope stand and throwing pennies, but I just got in my car and cried a little.
Easier to just have more kids IMO.
He's got a basketball lineup, what's next? Go for a baseball or football lineup?
I think if you have enough of them, they just all take care of themselves. Like a self sustaining something-or-other.
My dad was #7 of 11 kids. They were spread out over like 25 years though, so by the time my dad was born my oldest aunts were already out of the house with kids of their own. If you double up like GM, then you might be able to achieve the self sustaining household.

I have a friend with 6 boys under 10 years old I think.
This seems like there's too much planning involved for GM.

 
You want more awkward? We've had sex exactly twice since the twins were born. I'm so mother freaking terrified of impregnating my wife even after the snip job that I lost an erection once and had to fake the big O the other time because it just wasn't coming, no pun intended. I mean, I'm a lousy lover ordinarily, but now I'm just a mental mess to boot. Hoping the sample is negative so I can at least just return to normal bad sex with an ending vs bad sex that's like an episode of Lost.

 
A wife told her husband that she had a dream that she was at an auction where they were selling #####. "Big ones were going for $10 and thick ones for $20."

"What about ones like mine?" he asked.

"Oh, they were giving those away."

"Well I had a dream, too. I was at a ###### auction and the pretty ones were selling for $1000 and the little tight ones for $2000."

"And how much for the ones like mine?" she asked.

"That's where they held the auction."

 
You want more awkward? We've had sex exactly twice since the twins were born. I'm so mother freaking terrified of impregnating my wife even after the snip job that I lost an erection once and had to fake the big O the other time because it just wasn't coming, no pun intended. I mean, I'm a lousy lover ordinarily, but now I'm just a mental mess to boot. Hoping the sample is negative so I can at least just return to normal bad sex with an ending vs bad sex that's like an episode of Lost.
:lmao:

 
A wife told her husband that she had a dream that she was at an auction where they were selling #####. "Big ones were going for $10 and thick ones for $20."

"What about ones like mine?" he asked.

"Oh, they were giving those away."

"Well I had a dream, too. I was at a ###### auction and the pretty ones were selling for $1000 and the little tight ones for $2000."

"And how much for the ones like mine?" she asked.

"That's where they held the auction."
:lmao:

 

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