GM's thread about nothing (21 Viewers)

[Josie Maran]

also it's really hard for Pickles to spank to the periodic table with your mug in front of it.

No, I can see Hafnium.

 

[Frostillicus]

you guys still taking names in the survivor contest?

 

[Limp Ditka]

also it's really hard for Pickles to spank to the periodic table with your mug in front of it.

No, I can see Hafnium.

 

[Thorn]

Tanner>Some Swedish for you

That lead me to another video and I spent 20 minutes watching a woman drive a truck.

Holy crap.

 

[SofaKings]

I've never cooked a turkey before, but I read the newspaper last night and have convinced myself that I am going to GRILL the turkey on my gas grill. Seems like a 12 pound bird would take about 3 hours max at 325. This will leave the stove/oven open for wifey to make all the sides and fixings. Plus, I can stand around outside and drink copiously.

If you have never cooked a turkey before, please do not attempt it on a grill. Seriously. Tyrkey cooking is a bit of an art. Cook it too little and you get everyone sick with salmonella, cook it too much and its dried out and almost inedible.Do this (you, too Bob):

Submerge the turkey in a container and cover with water and a couple of cups of salt. You can add other seasoning and stuff to the water, but its really not necessary Leave it in the water 2-3 days. Keep it cool. You may need to add ice. Soaking the turkey in an ice chest filled with water is a good way to help keep it cool (under 45 degrees, and 35 is far superior.

On thanksgivng, turn your oven up as high as it will go, usually about 500 degrees. Wash the turkey, inside and out. Slather it with olive oil and then season if desired. I usually do not. It does not really need it.. Do not put too much salt, as it will not need too much after the brine. If you can find some fresh rosemary a few branches in the cavity is good. Do not "stuff" the turkey. It will throw off all the cooking times. Wrap the wing tips and ends of the drumsticks in some foil, otherwise they will get burnt before the rest of the bird is ready. Put the bird in the hot oven until it is nicely browned all over. Rotating or changing its position a time or two will promote even browning. in the turkey Then turn off the oven. DO NOT open the oven door. After 2-3 hours, stick a thermometer inn the thickest part of the breast and see if its at 155-165 degrees. If not, turn the oven to 300 and continue cooking until it hits 160.

Remove to oven and let it sit in a warm spot to rest for 20-30 min. before carving. Slathering the bird with butter inside and out at this time will make it even more deiscious, but may increase the calories. Cover loosely with a sheet of foil to help keep it warm. Use all the pan juices to make your stuffing and gravy while the bird rests.

This will be one of the juiciest, tastiest turkies you will ever eat.

I was going to brine before the grilling too. This actually sounds great and easy to do. Plus, I won't have to burn a can of propane on it. But this didn't sound TOO tough to pull off:

Grill-Roasted Turkey

Published November 13, 2012

MAKES 12 TO 15 SERVINGS

When grilling a turkey, make sure there is at least 1 inch of space between the bird and the grill lid. Also, do not tie the legs together; the turkey will cook more evenly if hot air can reach all areas of the bird. Finally, be sure to check your fuel canister before grilling, it's a good idea to have a spare handy to make sure you have enough fuel.

Ingredients

1 12- to 15-pound turkey

2 tablespoons finely chopped thyme

1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh sage

1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Vegetable oil, for brushing turkey

1 large heavy-duty aluminum foil roasting pan

Instructions

Remove the giblets and neck from the cavity and discard or use to make turkey stock. Remove the piece of plastic or metal that is holding the legs together (keeping the turkey in a compacted form can prevent the legs from cooking thoroughly). Thoroughly pat turkey dry with paper towels. Tuck the wing tips back and behind the bird to prevent the wings from browning too quickly. Let turkey rest at room temperature for 1 hour.

Preheat a gas grill for indirect grilling: for a 2-burner grill, turn one burner on high heat, leave the other burner off; for a 3-burner grill, turn the left and right burners on high heat, leave the center burner off; for a 5-burner grill turn the far left and right burners on and leave the remaining burners off. Let the grill preheat for at least 15 minutes. Meanwhile, prepare the turkey.

In a small bowl, combine the thyme, sage, olive oil, 2 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon pepper. Gently slide your fingers under the skin of the turkey breast, starting at the tapered end (the end nearest the legs), being careful not to tear the skin. Gently spread the herb mixture under the skin of the bird, massaging the seasonings into place all over the breast and thigh meat. Season the cavity and outside of the bird with a little additional salt and pepper.

Reduce the temperature of grill to medium-low to maintain a range between 325 degrees to 350 degrees. Place the foil pan directly on the unheated metal bars that cover the flames, or on the ceramic briquettes at the bottom of the grill, to catch drippings. Pour 2 cups of water into the pan. Lightly oil the grill grating and place it back in the grill set over the pan. Place the turkey directly on the grill centered over the foil pan. Close lid and grill for 15 minutes per pound, rotating the bird back to front with 2 spatulas once while grilling. If the wings or breast meat begins to brown too much, cover them with foil. If the bottom of the turkey remains pale and flabby, move turkey over heated part of grill until it browns up.

The turkey is done when an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh without touching the bone reads 165 to 170 degrees; about 3 hours and 45 minutes for a 15-pound bird, 3 1/2 hours for a 14-pound bird, 3 hours and 25 minutes for a 13-pound bird, and 3 hours for a 12-pound bird. Be sure to test the turkey on both sides. You may need to allow more time on the grill on very windy days.

Transfer the turkey to a large platter, cover loosely with foil, and all the bird to stand for 30 to 45 minutes before carving. The drippings can be added to the gravy; pour them into a glass measuring cup, then skim and discard the fat on the top before using.

Cook to temp(measured in the thigh) DO NOT cook to time. Time is a suggestion.

 

[proninja]

I'd love to go to a great links course someday.

Assuming this isn't shtick as I scan this thread on my phone, Bandon Dunes down in Oregon is one of your best couple bets in this country.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Russia seems like an insane place.

http://deadspin.com/5960511/the-definitive-russians-are-terrible-drivers-lowlight-reel

 

[General Malaise]

Russia seems like an insane place.http://deadspin.com/5960511/the-definitive-russians-are-terrible-drivers-lowlight-reel

The whole 'dead guy in a tomb' to line up and see didn't push that message across?

 

[cosjobs]

Haven't decided if I am going to buy a turducken this year or just do a turkey.My wife made a turducken one year and it was incredible. But, she said it was wayyy too much work. Hmmmm, decisions, decisions. Maybe I should make a poll?

Central Market sells uncooked turduckens now. They are pretty proud of them at the checkout, tho

 

[shuke]

Thanks everyone wishing me well on the surgery. Doc said it went well, but told my wife there was some arthritis he couldn't get to. Don't like the sounds of that.

Just starting to clear from drugp-indcued haze, but will probably have to keep hitting the vicodin because holy #### this hurts. I think my surgeon totally oversold how easy the recovery process was going to be. I'm allowed to bear weight on my heel only, but that is even difficult without crutches.

I don't know how I'm going to shower. They highly recommend against tryping to put a bag around it. Said I should sit in a chair with my leg sticking out of the shower. That'll be interesting.

On another note, thanks to Bob for that hefty donation for Movember. You didn't have to do that. I'm sure you're up to your eyeballs in medical bills with your accident. Very generous of you. I know that money is not going to me but I feel guilty.

 

[shuke]

also it's really hard for Pickles to spank to the periodic table with your mug in front of it.

No, I can see Hafnium.

 

[shuke]

Somehow I'm still in the FBG survivor contest. Unfortunately AP and Lynch both are on bye this week, and I'm getting zeros from my other RBs. It was a run.

 

[cosjobs]

I've always used a bag for cooking a turkey in the oven. Nice and moist, and incredibly simple.

Despite all the cool ways you can cook a turkey these days...deep fry, grill, smoke...there is nothing wrong with a oven-cooked bird if it is done right.

agreed. a perfectly roasted turkey is hard to beat.

 

[cosjobs]

1. Personal update for O Pete Malloy: I have a tummy ache.

2. How much time do I have to remember to donate for heckmann and for Movember?

3. Apparently we always invade Nicaragua.

3.5. I really owe you guys some Julio e-mails. Some classics over the last few weeks, which is not hard given I get 5-10 per day.

4. Hope shuke's surgery went well.

10. Wish I had anything interesting to post.

until the end of November

Pro Tip: Replace the M in Movember with an N.

Well I guess I see who won't be getting my donation money.

:finger:

Hey, why come you didn't hit me up for donation money? Pickles made me FLUSH with Romney money to give away. Guster got some. Heckman got some. Shuke got some. Woz got some. My money no good?

*cough* aod *cough*

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Get well soon Shuke!

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.

glll with your gout, shuke.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Shower in condo on island for Trewedding had a seat. Was amazing. And yes, Aaron, it was perfect for showerbeer.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Gout, gout

I hope they got it all out

Gout is a thing Shuke can do without

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

 

[Guster]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

I have arthritis in my left big toe. I sucks and hurts a good bit of the time, but my doc said the only way to get over it was to fuse the joint. That doesn't sound pleasant, so I'm just letting things be for now. Yay getting old

 

[SofaKings]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

I have arthritis in my left big toe. I sucks and hurts a good bit of the time, but my doc said the only way to get over it was to fuse the joint. That doesn't sound pleasant, so I'm just letting things be for now. Yay getting old

You know you can walk without a big toe right?

 

[charvik]

Day 4 in Vegas and I've seen and played with the worst players I have seen in 20 years, even worse than during the peak of the poker craze. Just amazing...

These guys had mouths full of worms, and I am completely card dead. I've never experienced a run as bad ever. 92o, 85o, you name it and I've had it. Not even getting hands to make speculative calls. Even after folding, not a single river has hit my hands. Not one.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Friend of mine (single guy / kidless) completely gutted his bathtub and made it into a walk in shower stall with a steam hookup.

So the plumbing side wall is pretty standard, shower rigging (rain shower set up with front jets too) comes out of there. Opposite wall is a bench with all of the steam controls right there.

It's pretty much the greatest thing ever and the best hangover cure.

 

[Sarnoff]

Gout, goutI hope they got it all outGout is a thing Shuke can do without

Is gout that thing that Paula Broadwell has on her forehead?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Thanks everyone wishing me well on the surgery. Doc said it went well, but told my wife there was some arthritis he couldn't get to. Don't like the sounds of that.

Just starting to clear from drugp-indcued haze, but will probably have to keep hitting the vicodin because holy #### this hurts. I think my surgeon totally oversold how easy the recovery process was going to be. I'm allowed to bear weight on my heel only, but that is even difficult without crutches.

I don't know how I'm going to shower. They highly recommend against tryping to put a bag around it. Said I should sit in a chair with my leg sticking out of the shower. That'll be interesting.

On another note, thanks to Bob for that hefty donation for Movember. You didn't have to do that. I'm sure you're up to your eyeballs in medical bills with your accident. Very generous of you. I know that money is not going to me but I feel guilty.

You're welcome and they almost always do. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

 

[heckmanm]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

I have arthritis in my left big toe. I sucks and hurts a good bit of the time, but my doc said the only way to get over it was to fuse the joint. That doesn't sound pleasant, so I'm just letting things be for now. Yay getting old

You know you can walk without a big toe right?

Ronnie ####in' Lott over here.Hope you feel better soon, Shuke.

 

[Josie Maran]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

I have arthritis in my left big toe. I sucks and hurts a good bit of the time, but my doc said the only way to get over it was to fuse the joint. That doesn't sound pleasant, so I'm just letting things be for now. Yay getting old

You know you can walk without a big toe right?

Yeah, but how's he gonna tackle Chris Johnson?

 

[Josie Maran]

Gout, goutI hope they got it all outGout is a thing Shuke can do without

 

[CGRdrJoe]

Bourbon street at an open bar with sponsored drinks by oil company followed by social d, I love my life

 

[Stoneys]

Tanner>Some Swedish for you

That lead me to another video and I spent 20 minutes watching a woman drive a truck.

Nice airbags

 

[mr. furley]

Ssips! lemonade is the ####ing goods

 

[krista4]

Gout, goutI hope they got it all outGout is a thing Shuke can do without

(It took me a minute. )

 

[Frostillicus]

Effing Kemba Walker.

Stupid Truck.

 

[shuke]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

Depends on where it is. My was mostly on the dorsal aspect of my joint. The big toe is one of the few places where arthritis can be relieved by going in and remvoing bone. Basically they cut the bone out of each side of the joint so they wouldn't hit each other when I extended my toe during walking.

 

[Josie Maran]

Bourbon street at an open bar with sponsored drinks by oil company followed by social d, I love my life

I wanna be Mexican.

 

[-fish-]

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter really isn't all that bad.

 

[bentley]

Best of luck with the recovery, Shukie.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

 

[Frostillicus]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

 

[Frostillicus]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

I took him in that wierd fantasy/What-if-sports league thing that probably won't happen so I'm rooting for him, just not against our Wolves.

 

[cosjobs]

using a chair in the shower sounds ideal for drinking showerbeers.

glll with your gout, shuke.

to both. Hope recovery goes wellIs arthritis something they can just scrape away?

Depends on where it is. My was mostly on the dorsal aspect of my joint. The big toe is one of the few places where arthritis can be relieved by going in and remvoing bone. Basically they cut the bone out of each side of the joint so they wouldn't hit each other when I extended my toe during walking.

You've been curiously quiet about the coshole, considering Austin is now your second home. Any way you can do a work funded trip around then?

 

[cosjobs]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

Like a spear chucker? I think that's the only way I've ever heard that word used.

 

[Frostillicus]

If you like day gambling Oklahoma State -3 tomorrow at 9:30 central is something you'd probably want to do.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

Like a spear chucker? I think that's the only way I've ever heard that word used.

I think it's a reference to Jimmy from Seinfeld, Mr. Jolson.

 

[Frostillicus]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

Like a spear chucker? I think that's the only way I've ever heard that word used.

I think it's a reference to Jimmy from Seinfeld, Mr. Jolson.

Manute Bol was kind of both.

 

[-fish-]

Would anyone in the shark pool understand an Eli Manning=Charlie Gordon reference?

 

[cosjobs]

If you like day gambling Oklahoma State -3 tomorrow at 9:30 central is something you'd probably want to do.

Hope its still good at -5

 

[cosjobs]

Effing Kemba Walker. Stupid Truck.

Don't kvetch to me about gambling. Not today.

I just meant that he beat our Wolves. Sorry about your gambling.

tRE called him a chucker a few weeks ago. What a jerk.Doing better. Shook it off.

Like a spear chucker? I think that's the only way I've ever heard that word used.

I think it's a reference to Jimmy from Seinfeld, Mr. Jolson.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

 

[YSR]

If you like day gambling Oklahoma State -3 tomorrow at 9:30 central is something you'd probably want to do.

-4.5 was not a good time.