GM's thread about nothing (42 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

Most of us are 35 or older and have kids. With the exception of St. Louis Wilt Chamberlain, the majority of us have irregular, run-of-the-mill sex with a partner we have been with for quite some time. Friction burns are a thing of the past, like morning wood and wet dreams. Plus, most of us have wised up to the point that if it's starting to hurt, it's time to fake it and stop. Or buy KY Jelly at Costco. All the same, you can PM Disco Stu for help.

Oh come on.

 

[cosjobs]

So my suit is outdated. Can I still just get a basic black one for an upcoming interview/any function that requires a suit (wedding, funeral etc).

pity bump

yes. black/navy blue is fine with what you need/want.

Just make sure its double-breasted and you can wear it driving a Honda minivan to deliver an ice cream cake to the Turkey cookoff and GMTAN meme-off

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging.

Yes you are.

 

[cosjobs]

Also, spit and handjobs go about as well together as Tanner & Shick, Arabs & Israelis, Imp & sanity (hi Imp!), Lhucks & Heterosexuality, Homer & MILFS, Guster & succinctness, Cosjobs & texting, Krista & good news about co-workers, SLB & diving, Tre & facial hair....

I write One obnoxiously long post and get branded as long winded. pfft

edited for succintness

 

[cosjobs]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Seriously. This needs to stop.

No idea if you mean him, me, or both.

When you don't know who the guy in the forum is who should just stop. Its probably you.

 

[cosjobs]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

I usually wait until my partner is aroused and properly lubricated.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

I usually wait until my partner is aroused and properly lubricated.

Yeah, but if you have a LOT if sex in a short span, this will happen. Of course I have to brag to reveal this, but I'm comfortable with that.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

At a happy hour before going to parent teacher conferences. Tanner > any recommended shtick I should try out when talking to my daughter's teacher? I was thinking of going with asking why my daughter says he pats the kids on the ### when they get a good grade.

Ask the teacher if they know who Rick Morris is (education guru). If they say yes tell them "My GB Tanner just shook hands with Mr. Morris this very afternoon". If they say that they don't know who he is, feign disgust and refuse to talk to them.

 

[Bogart]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

I usually wait until my partner is aroused and properly lubricated.

Yeah, but if you have a LOT if sex in a short span, this will happen. Of course I have to brag to reveal this, but I'm comfortable with that.

A lot of sex with yourself will do this too. But I really don't want to brag about that, or even share.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

I usually wait until my partner is aroused and properly lubricated.

Yeah, but if you have a LOT if sex in a short span, this will happen. Of course I have to brag to reveal this, but I'm comfortable with that.

This doesn't happen if you toughen up your genitals by grilling them.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

What is a good gift for a 4 year old boy? $10-$20 range?

buy KY Jelly at Costco.

Nerf Crossbow?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

 

[cosjobs]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

Did Jenna inspire you to revisit the bedroom?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

Did Jenna inspire you to revisit the bedroom?

Gemma?

 

[General Malaise]

This doesn't happen if you toughen up your genitals by grilling them.

OR USE BRAWNY INSTEAD OF PUFFS! :flex:

 

[cosjobs]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

Did Jenna inspire you to revisit the bedroom?

Gemma?

What kind of name is that? What is she? a Bakersfield middle-school minority?

 

[mr. furley]

tried to watch SOA.

can you fax me a transcript of the first 10 minutes? didn't understand a ####ing word Chibbs said.

 

[cosjobs]

tried to watch SOA.

can you fax me a transcript of the first 10 minutes? didn't understand a ####ing word Chibbs said.

Gemma

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

Did Jenna inspire you to revisit the bedroom?

Gemma?

What kind of name is that? What is she? a Bakersfield middle-school minority?

Pretty sure it's Eyetalian or something.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Yeah, but if you have a LOT if sex in a short span, this will happen. Of course I have to brag to reveal this, but I'm comfortable with that.

I bet it really hurt to poop.

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

See I usually don't even start until there's some snoring.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

tried to watch SOA.

can you fax me a transcript of the first 10 minutes? didn't understand a ####ing word Chibbs said.

Beberebozo mungojerry shakazulu rumblefish...Eh, Jackyboy?

 

[cosjobs]

How come when I was a younger man and I finished having the secs nothing less than an 8 ball of coke and a fistful of black beauties could keep me from falling asleep? Now that I'm older, I don't even get drowsy. #insomnia

So I'm the only one?

No it's true. I gave the little-woman a solid rogering last night. She fell asleep right away (probably out of boredom). I went down stairs, made a sandwich, and tried to watch SOA.

Did Jenna inspire you to revisit the bedroom?

Gemma?

What kind of name is that? What is she? a Bakersfield middle-school minority?

Pretty sure it's Eyetalian or something.

Eye'm guessing that is a minority in Bakersfield.

 

[mr. furley]

tried to watch SOA.

can you fax me a transcript of the first 10 minutes? didn't understand a ####ing word Chibbs said.

Beberebozo mungojerry shakazulu rumblefish...Eh, Jackyboy?

guess i heard it correctly then. scratch the transcripts.

 

[General Malaise]

Despite about 15 reminders, I forgot about Parent/Teacher conferences and was blithely unaware of this fact until I fielded a phone call on my bicycle from my less than pleased wife asking where I was. When I gleefully replied "heading home to you, babe" she said, with a screaming baby in the background, "did you forgot that we had conferences today"....

I told her to go on without me and that I'd be there as SOON as possible. My friends, absent any steroids, I turned into Lance Forrest Armstrong and pedaled home like a man determined to see the inside of a vulva again. I threw the bike in the garage, hopped in a car and drove to school like Benny Hill chasing a female streaker. I parked like an Asian woman in a shopping mall and ran into the school like Shuke in a walking boot. I made it to the first conference late, panting like Guster after typing a paragraph and apologized profusely like Woz after a round of sex. I sat there absorbing the rest of the conference in, nodding affirmatively, asking germane questions and when it was all said and done, I hopped up like the confident CEO of a Fortune 500 company, shook the teacher's hand, and then looked down in horror at the little plastic chair my fat butt was occupying. And as I looked down, we ALL looked down and spied Lake Asssweat, a perfect ring of butt perspiration left behind by a man so embarrassed all he could do was grab a handful of Kleenex and wipe it all away before running down the hall in shame to the next conference, where I preferred to stand.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

That important?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Grundle?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You look inside? Is there an echo?

 

[-fish-]

I have a medical issue, but I don't want to bring it up because I'll get ridiculed...

Get well soon.

That's not the issue, but you're in the right area.

yes, look at you and your herpes. congrats new woz.

HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! I have a ###### friction burn on my ######. HOW DO I FIX THIS?

I think Woz had this same issue. No homo. Bragged about it, just like you. PM him. No shtick.

Not bragging. I assumed that you guys got laid and have had this issue before.

Most of us are 35 or older and have kids. With the exception of St. Louis Wilt Chamberlain, the majority of us have irregular, run-of-the-mill sex with a partner we have been with for quite some time. Friction burns are a thing of the past, like morning wood and wet dreams. Plus, most of us have wised up to the point that if it's starting to hurt, it's time to fake it and stop. Or buy KY Jelly at Costco. All the same, you can PM Disco Stu for help.

Knuckles left about a quart of lube at my house for this very reason. Sore, maybe. Sleep deprived, definitely. But friction burns? Not a chance.

 

[Osaurus]

Saw this on my way home yesterday.

 

[kevzilla]

Also, spit and handjobs go about as well together as Tanner & Shick, Arabs & Israelis, Imp & sanity (hi Imp!), Lhucks & Heterosexuality, Homer & MILFS, Guster & succinctness, Cosjobs & texting, Krista & good news about co-workers, SLB & diving, Tre & facial hair....

I write one obnoxiously long post and get branded as long winded. pfft

I posted one photo taken after being on the beach all day and was branded as Magical Outer Space Hair.

 

[krista4]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

 

[proninja]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

 

[Guster]

Also, spit and handjobs go about as well together as Tanner & Shick, Arabs & Israelis, Imp & sanity (hi Imp!), Lhucks & Heterosexuality, Homer & MILFS, Guster & succinctness, Cosjobs & texting, Krista & good news about co-workers, SLB & diving, Tre & facial hair....

I write one obnoxiously long post and get branded as long winded. pfft

I posted one photo taken after being on the beach all day and was branded as Magical Outer Space Hair.

So what you're saying is that I should just embrace it?Sort of like the one time when Pickles called me a third tier poster and it actually made me excited? Like I had been promoted from lurker?Speaking of which, I'm a little sad that our local FBG league just dissolved like that. Some fun dudes in that league and it was awkwardly fun to watch Trogg hit on WampusCat's wife. I think part of the issue was that we peaked at our first draft. If they had a DUI checkpoint outside the bar, the league would have folded on the spot because at least 3/4 of the owners would have been in the slammer.

 

[krista4]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

 

[proninja]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

I was agreeing with you. Drink more wine. Everything is fine.

 

[Guster]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I loved me some Celeste cheese pizza in high school. Of course, I was almost 20 years younger and 10 pounds heavier

 

[Guster]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

$2 high life's while watching Thursday night football = $2Hooray for $2 things

 

[krista4]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

I was agreeing with you. Drink more wine. Everything is fine.

Whew. I was confused, yet only one glass of wine down. It must be the age. :(I'm trying to think of any frozen item that is anywhere near as good as that pizza. Answer: none.

 

[Guster]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

I was agreeing with you. Drink more wine. Everything is fine.

Whew. I was confused, yet only one glass of wine down. It must be the age. :(I'm trying to think of any frozen item that is anywhere near as good as that pizza. Answer: none.

Yogurt?Mars bars? (insert candy bar of choice here)

 

[proninja]

unrelated, but frozen blueberries or frozen muscat grapes are pretty amazing

 

[krista4]

unrelated, but frozen blueberries or frozen muscat grapes are pretty amazing

That's true.Expanding upon Guster's idea, frozen Thin Mints would be a contender.

 

[Guster]

unrelated, but frozen blueberries or frozen muscat grapes are pretty amazing

That's true.Expanding upon Guster's idea, frozen Thin Mints would be a contender.

 

[Guster]

unrelated, but frozen blueberries or frozen muscat grapes are pretty amazing

That's true.Expanding upon Guster's idea, frozen Thin Mints would be a contender.

Or should I say... GB Krista, this is an excellent build on the post I made as frozen thin mints are probably even better frozen than anything I posted. I wish I had thought of that in my original post. Had I not been full of Miller High Life I might have stood a chance to get this, but likely probably would have still missed it and been pissed

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

good start for our Bills.

not so good play there though.

 

[Josie Maran]

Saw this on my way home yesterday.

Did you run him off the road and scream "PAC10 SUCKS!"?No? Then #### you.

 

[Josie Maran]

Also, spit and handjobs go about as well together as Tanner & Shick, Arabs & Israelis, Imp & sanity (hi Imp!), Lhucks & Heterosexuality, Homer & MILFS, Guster & succinctness, Cosjobs & texting, Krista & good news about co-workers, SLB & diving, Tre & facial hair....

I write one obnoxiously long post and get branded as long winded. pfft

I posted one photo taken after being on the beach all day and was branded as Magical Outer Space Hair.

So what you're saying is that I should just embrace it?Sort of like the one time when Pickles called me a third tier poster and it actually made me excited? Like I had been promoted from lurker?Speaking of which, I'm a little sad that our local FBG league just dissolved like that. Some fun dudes in that league and it was awkwardly fun to watch Trogg hit on WampusCat's wife. I think part of the issue was that we peaked at our first draft. If they had a DUI checkpoint outside the bar, the league would have folded on the spot because at least 3/4 of the owners would have been in the slammer.

That league was awesome. What the hell ever happened to WampusCat?And I'm still depressed at the iRetirement of Verbal Kint.

 

[krista4]

unrelated, but frozen blueberries or frozen muscat grapes are pretty amazing

That's true.Expanding upon Guster's idea, frozen Thin Mints would be a contender.

Or should I say... GB Krista, this is an excellent build on the post I made as frozen thin mints are probably even better frozen than anything I posted. I wish I had thought of that in my original post. Had I not been full of Miller High Life I might have stood a chance to get this, but likely probably would have still missed it and been pissed

tl;dr

 

[cosjobs]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I loved me some Celeste cheese pizza in high school. Of course, I was almost 20 years younger and 10 pounds heavier

LOOK AT ME. I LOSE ONE HALF LB. EVERY YEAR

 

[cosjobs]

I know I'm a food snob, but there's nothing quite like a Stouffer's french bread pizza.

As a general rule, the cheaper the frozen pizza, the more I will enjoy it. /antisnob

I'm not sure what to make of this. Stouffer's is cheap, right? Or at least that was my point. Frozen anything ain't my bag, but this is the exception. Just had a delicious meal for like $2.**Not including wine.

I was agreeing with you. Drink more wine. Everything is fine.

Whew. I was confused, yet only one glass of wine down. It must be the age. :(I'm trying to think of any frozen item that is anywhere near as good as that pizza. Answer: none.

Please share thst name of this wonderful hallucenegenic wine u r drinking